Archives and research

[Guest guest]

Sue wrote " there was a discussion on here about the " third year wall " awhile

ago - i would strongly suggest that anyone in their second year go read the

archives "

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I have to join the discussion on this point since I have been sitting here

reading posts over and over again on the same thoughts, just on different

days and the same wonderful folks dutifully responding over and over again in

an effort to share and be of some service to others,,,,,,

Long before I had surgeryI lurked here, and for the requisite year post op I

lurked. I also learned more here than any other single source about surgery

(all types), nutriton, and life decisions not even considering the wonderful

sharing about all the emotional ups and downs pre and post op.

I would submit that since this group is large and hundreds read every day it

might be a service to come to the group website, use the search archives

options, plug in search terms and go read on various topics that are of

concern. I can almost assure you that there are a zillion posts about it and

much to be learned. It worked that way for me. I was on several lists for a

very long time and it just seemed to me that I could not get enough

information and as loved as I am here at home I needed more info and

resources than others. I found it in long late night hours plowing through

the archives over and over and reading. I think I have now read every post

in the history of this list,,,,,some to my great credit and utilitarian

purpose and others to my great dismay :-)

But I learned from each. The posts that come straight from the solid bedrock

of reality and responsibility are the ones that usually strike me with the

greatest impact. Just recently it had to do with " accepting responsibility "

and refutation of " denial " or at least a wholesome effort in repudiating

denial. I have found that I am good at denial. On the other hand I tend to

be harshly judgemental and pass lots of character judgements on myself that

are not reality based and I need the balance I get here from those who have

learned not to do that so often and who so willingly share.

As I write this, I debate " revision " internally and externally with my wife.

She is scared to death for me and I am scared to death not to do it. Yep,

there are mechanical reasons here that I should, and NOPE I am not able to

maintain a healthy relationship with food at the 20 month post op mark.

We can debate whether or not protein supplements are okay hot or cold, or we

can debate whether or not weight loss is forever ,,,,yanno? But then again -

why? I learn here by reading and trying to hear the internal dialogue it

creates. I find that I am tone deaf to that a great deal of the time. I

have learned mostly that I am better when I refrain from competitive " typing "

and that if I allow others to make their own mistakes I save myself much

agonizing over whether or not I am right or wrong in my perspective of WLS

and life thereafter.

There is freedom in that. I think now with physical health as good as it can

be at this point, morbid obesity not currently the major issue of my life, it

is the freedom I need most on an internal basis. I want life for me to be

about responsible choices and how I want to " spend " time. I have realized

that " time " is not in inexhaustible supply and that how I see myself and the

process of making judgments on what is important to me is the issue. So,

for me life with all it's issues, and weight/physical and emotional health

being just one aspect of many, is coming down to a budget process. I have

limited resources in essence and the responsibility for deciding where they

go and for what purpose and effort is mine. I am responsible. But then

again, wasn't I always?

A joyous and prosperous new year with abundant good health and spirt to all!

Dan Slone

Open RNY Proximal 5/2/2000