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Are there any support groups for spouses?

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In a message dated 6/25/2003 11:39:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

littlemitch711@... writes:

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

Mitch,

This is a sensitive issue and I think you have to leave your wife alone.Only

she can decide if surgery is for her.No one can make the decision for her and

telling her how much her obesity bothers you or worries you will only make

matters worse and cause her to eat even more.Love her for all the right

reasons,and when shes ready she and only she will do something about it.

Ellen

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In a message dated 6/25/2003 11:39:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

littlemitch711@... writes:

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

Mitch,

This is a sensitive issue and I think you have to leave your wife alone.Only

she can decide if surgery is for her.No one can make the decision for her and

telling her how much her obesity bothers you or worries you will only make

matters worse and cause her to eat even more.Love her for all the right

reasons,and when shes ready she and only she will do something about it.

Ellen

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In a message dated 6/25/2003 11:39:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

littlemitch711@... writes:

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

Mitch,

This is a sensitive issue and I think you have to leave your wife alone.Only

she can decide if surgery is for her.No one can make the decision for her and

telling her how much her obesity bothers you or worries you will only make

matters worse and cause her to eat even more.Love her for all the right

reasons,and when shes ready she and only she will do something about it.

Ellen

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I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want my

wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

Can someone give me a little help?

Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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I am young, 31, married with a small child. I have been overweight my whole

life. Had type 2 diabetes for about 10 yrs, high blood pressure for the

past 2 yrs. I took over 13 pills per day, and still had high blood sugars.

The risks of this surgery are the anesthesia itself..... which if you broke

your leg or got into a car accident and had to have surgery......... the

risks are the same. That is the way I thought of it. Since the day of my

surgery, I have been on NO pills, my blood sugar has been normal with no

medication, my blood pressure is normal as well, and my cholesterol is

almost normal already. This is the best decision I have ever made and would

do it a million times again. I am never ever hungry, and my only regret is

that I didn't do this 10 years ago. EVERYTHING would have been easier. My

pregnancy, career, everything!! I have lost 50-60 lbs many many many

countless times only to gain it all back again..... only the pounds brought

friends... yep, more pounds. I couldn't ever ever keep it off. This time,

I can. I do not regret my decision for one second.

However, that is me. Your wife needs to make this decision for herself and

in her own time. Only she can make this decision if she wants to... but, I

totally understand how you feel, and you are worried for her and want to

share your life with her. Have your family doctor bring it up with her ---

it might be easier for her if it was coming from a medical professional?...

maybe.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Your wife is free to email me off the list if she has any questions......

mmanda515@...

, IL

LapRNY

Jan 21, 2003

-75 lbs

Are there any support groups for spouses?

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I am young, 31, married with a small child. I have been overweight my whole

life. Had type 2 diabetes for about 10 yrs, high blood pressure for the

past 2 yrs. I took over 13 pills per day, and still had high blood sugars.

The risks of this surgery are the anesthesia itself..... which if you broke

your leg or got into a car accident and had to have surgery......... the

risks are the same. That is the way I thought of it. Since the day of my

surgery, I have been on NO pills, my blood sugar has been normal with no

medication, my blood pressure is normal as well, and my cholesterol is

almost normal already. This is the best decision I have ever made and would

do it a million times again. I am never ever hungry, and my only regret is

that I didn't do this 10 years ago. EVERYTHING would have been easier. My

pregnancy, career, everything!! I have lost 50-60 lbs many many many

countless times only to gain it all back again..... only the pounds brought

friends... yep, more pounds. I couldn't ever ever keep it off. This time,

I can. I do not regret my decision for one second.

However, that is me. Your wife needs to make this decision for herself and

in her own time. Only she can make this decision if she wants to... but, I

totally understand how you feel, and you are worried for her and want to

share your life with her. Have your family doctor bring it up with her ---

it might be easier for her if it was coming from a medical professional?...

maybe.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Your wife is free to email me off the list if she has any questions......

mmanda515@...

, IL

LapRNY

Jan 21, 2003

-75 lbs

Are there any support groups for spouses?

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Have her check out this support group-get her online to look around.

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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Guest guest

Have her check out this support group-get her online to look around.

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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Guest guest

Have her check out this support group-get her online to look around.

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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Mitch...I am going through the same thing. I had Open RNY in April

and would like my wife to get help too. It wasn't until she saw the

progress I made that she would even consider it. She still isn't

convinced but at least she's open to the idea now.

I agree with the others who have said that you can't push her...she

must reach her own decision. However, I think it's important to find

out WHY she won't discuss it. Is it fear of the risk? Is it fear of

failure? Is it because she doesn't want to change her lifestyle?

You say that your insurance denied the surgery last Decemeber so, at

one time, she must have been considering it. What changed her mind?

I also agree with the comment that maybe the suggestion is better

coming from her family physician than you. No matter how much you

love her, your relationship will suffer if she begins to resent

you " interfering. "

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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Guest guest

Mitch...I am going through the same thing. I had Open RNY in April

and would like my wife to get help too. It wasn't until she saw the

progress I made that she would even consider it. She still isn't

convinced but at least she's open to the idea now.

I agree with the others who have said that you can't push her...she

must reach her own decision. However, I think it's important to find

out WHY she won't discuss it. Is it fear of the risk? Is it fear of

failure? Is it because she doesn't want to change her lifestyle?

You say that your insurance denied the surgery last Decemeber so, at

one time, she must have been considering it. What changed her mind?

I also agree with the comment that maybe the suggestion is better

coming from her family physician than you. No matter how much you

love her, your relationship will suffer if she begins to resent

you " interfering. "

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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Guest guest

hi mitch. as a formerly obese person, i can tell ya that wls is a

very personal, introspective decision. i had to have a healthy amount

of self love to care enough to do something about the weight. no one

else could convince me, not even my best friend/husband of 4 months.

my advice is to lovingly support her, & she (i'm sure) does NOT need

reminders about the weight.

lori h.

14 grateful months out

PS don't know about groups specifically for spouses, but there are

plenty of groups to go to together.

> I am in love with my wife very much, She has been confirmed to be

> morbidly obese, 47.6 BMI. I am 6' 3 " @ 220 pounds and I don't want

my

> wife to have the major health problems she is going to have if she

> doesn't get some help. How do I, Tactfully, help her overcome her

> weight problems? I have had success in the past, But I can't even

> talk about it now. our insurance was denied for the surgery in the

> past, ( December 02 ) and We have new insurance that will cover the

> surgery, But I can't get her to even discuss it with me.

>

> Can someone give me a little help?

>

> Thank You for any responses...Mitch

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