Very tired and down - sorry

January 8, 2004

Well it is currently almost 3am here and I am yet again wide awake

and unable to even contemplate lying on my bed as I'm in so much pain

already and lying down only subluxes some other part of my body. I

have taken enough pain meds to knock out an elephant without any

effects and have been given some sleeping pills by my GP that don't

make me sleepy, just cause incredible dizziness and make me

hallucinate - at this present time I will swear blind there is a

snake on my desk.

My body is just screaming. The left wrist is throbbing in the rigid

splint, and deathly white, my left shoulder is sitting subluxed

anteriorly, my neck is misaligned again causing my hands keep going

numb and deathly white and my legs just feel like useless lumps of

lead and are shaking with the pain as if someone has wired them up to

the national electricity grid. I don't care what any doctor in the

world says right now - EDS hurts!

The past week I have not been to bed before 4am because of my fear of

lying in pain and I haven't slept for more than an hour in months.

I'm at the end of my tether with this pain and yet my pain management

clinic will not touch me until I have been assessed by Professor Bird

and I can't see him for at least another 3 months - due to waiting

lists and medical ineptitude I've already been waiting 18 months. :-(

I'm sorry for the whinge...but I really am just feeling very tried,

in agony and completely hopeless. I am so tired. I am so sore. I am

so fed up with all of this...I am currently hoping for sleep, but all

I really want is to wake up from this nightmare....

Thank you for letting me vent and my apologies for being pathetic.

Love and hugs....Jo

xxx

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