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Should I or Shouldn't I?

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Hi ,

Thought I would let you know that I, too, have lost a daughter. She died of

non-hodgkins lymphoma in 1984 just six months after she had her first baby.

She was only 23 years old. The only way I could accept it, after a great deal

of time, was to believe she was still with me..in spirit if nothing else. Not

a day goes by that I do not think of her and sometimes tearfully. Her son

will graduate from high school this year. There is nothing anyone can say to

me to ease the pain of her loss, it is like a part of me has been amputated.

I understand your loss and hope you will be able to come to terms with

accepting that she is with you always. I talk to my daughter and tell her

about my day and that might seem silly to someone who has not lost a child

but it helps me accept. God bless you.

Joan

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Hi ,

Thought I would let you know that I, too, have lost a daughter. She died of

non-hodgkins lymphoma in 1984 just six months after she had her first baby.

She was only 23 years old. The only way I could accept it, after a great deal

of time, was to believe she was still with me..in spirit if nothing else. Not

a day goes by that I do not think of her and sometimes tearfully. Her son

will graduate from high school this year. There is nothing anyone can say to

me to ease the pain of her loss, it is like a part of me has been amputated.

I understand your loss and hope you will be able to come to terms with

accepting that she is with you always. I talk to my daughter and tell her

about my day and that might seem silly to someone who has not lost a child

but it helps me accept. God bless you.

Joan

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Hi , Joan,

Just to let you know I too lost my son 10 months ago (just a few

months before being diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis). Life just isn't

fair sometimes :( A parent is not suppose to bury a child, but vise versa) If

I can be of any help to you .. please don't hesitate to email me. We can get

through this " One day at a time " .

God Bless

Kim

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Hi ya'll! Sorry but I live right outside of Augusta GA and we have that

little golf tournament in town this week, i think they call it The Masters

(lol) - Arrrrgh! So everyone here is suppose to be on their best

behavior-yeah right. I call it the week I most want to leave town. but

anyway I'm just trying to display a little Southern Hospitality. So I hope

ya'll are doing OK.

I am getting by. This is the 5th night in a row I have gone to bed only to

get up because I couldn't sleep. Not that I hurt or anything I just can't

sleep. So here I am.

I am wanting some feedback on infertility treatments. ie should I or

shouldn't I? first let me explain a little. As some know I suffered a

miscarriage at 26 weeks into a pregnancy. I was devastated-still am. I have

not been able to conceive again since. Honestly that was a opps... but I had

been married for 5 years and we wanted it more than anything. It s just my

docs didn't want me to because I was having major probs with Mr. CP. Since

that time I have tried IUI once and was going to do it again but that is

when I developed the endocarditis. I had decided then to " let go and let

God " whatever happens happens. This week was the 5 year mark of my daughters

death. I have been praying so much about what to do. Should I give it one

more try? Do I have it in me to go through the stress of all of it again?

Originally I was seeing a doc at the Medical College of Georgia in Augusta

but here was a big breakup and they all left for private practice. I had

another Repro Endo doc in town but he stays so busy and doesn't do IVF

anyway. So if that is what I wanted I would have to switch doctors. Anyway

like I said I had really been praying over this. today I got a letter in the

mail from MCG saying that they had reopened their dept. and now had 3

doctors all I have to do is call for an appt. The letter was dated and

postmarked April 2 but I just got it today. Is this a sign or wishful

thinking. AM i making to much out of this? ANy comments? thoughts? ideas?

ANYTHING??? thanks for reading this long post. Maybe i can get some rest

now.

thanks,

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Dear ,

This is not meant in any way to take your situation lightly or to diminish

your anguish or need. I'm simply voicing an alternative that I'm sure you've

given great thought to already and might consider once again.

One alternative, of course, is adoption. There are millions of glorious,

wonderfully remarkable children out there who are in desperate need of a

parent to care for them and a home that might provide love and some degree of

stability.

This disease has often made me feel a bit of an " outcast " or a " less

desirable " . I'm physically flawed and no longer have the genetic markings

that I once felt important. There are lots and lots of kids who might fit

that same " profile " , perhaps even considered " damaged goods " , who have the

capacity to be the quintessential " perfect child " to the right parent who has

the ability to appreciate those whom are perhaps a bit " differently abled " .

Just one person's humble perspective for your consideration.

Peace,

Terry in KC

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> Hi , Joan,

> Just to let you know I too lost my son 10 months ago (just

a few

> months before being diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis). Life just

isn't

> fair sometimes :( A parent is not suppose to bury a child, but vise

versa) If

> I can be of any help to you .. please don't hesitate to email me.

We can get

> through this " One day at a time " .

> God Bless

> Kim

>

>

>

, Joan, Kim

I, too, lost my daughter 22 years ago. She was only 5 days old. To

look at her you would never have believed that she wouldn't live. She

had a heart defect, actually did not have the left side of her heart

at all. We were lucky to have her with us for 5 days. It is something

I don't think I will ever get over, I just had to accept it and get

on with my life. Luckily, I had two sons and they are what I lived

for. I, also, talk to my daughter everyday. I keep her picture on my

mantle along with the rest of the family pictures. She was and still

is a big part of our life. The worst thing for me has been when I am

asked how many children I have. If I say two sons, I always feel like

I am not acknowledging my daughter, but if I mention her I get really

strange looks. The only ones who understand are the people who have

lost a child, they know just how I feel. I always feel that I have 2

sons and a daughter, my daughter just isn't with me right now.

This has turned out longer that I thought it would, just wanted you

to know that there is someone else who really does understand how you

feel. , you have to do what you and your husband feels is

right. I was able to go through two pregnancies with pancreatitis, it

was hard at times, but well worth it to me. My daughters problems had

nothing to do with my pancreatits. My son and his wife are having

problems conceiving right now, I know the decision is hard and the

process timely. My thoughts will be with you.

Sharon in Michigan

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> Hi , Joan,

> Just to let you know I too lost my son 10 months ago (just

a few

> months before being diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis). Life just

isn't

> fair sometimes :( A parent is not suppose to bury a child, but vise

versa) If

> I can be of any help to you .. please don't hesitate to email me.

We can get

> through this " One day at a time " .

> God Bless

> Kim

>

>

>

, Joan, Kim

I, too, lost my daughter 22 years ago. She was only 5 days old. To

look at her you would never have believed that she wouldn't live. She

had a heart defect, actually did not have the left side of her heart

at all. We were lucky to have her with us for 5 days. It is something

I don't think I will ever get over, I just had to accept it and get

on with my life. Luckily, I had two sons and they are what I lived

for. I, also, talk to my daughter everyday. I keep her picture on my

mantle along with the rest of the family pictures. She was and still

is a big part of our life. The worst thing for me has been when I am

asked how many children I have. If I say two sons, I always feel like

I am not acknowledging my daughter, but if I mention her I get really

strange looks. The only ones who understand are the people who have

lost a child, they know just how I feel. I always feel that I have 2

sons and a daughter, my daughter just isn't with me right now.

This has turned out longer that I thought it would, just wanted you

to know that there is someone else who really does understand how you

feel. , you have to do what you and your husband feels is

right. I was able to go through two pregnancies with pancreatitis, it

was hard at times, but well worth it to me. My daughters problems had

nothing to do with my pancreatits. My son and his wife are having

problems conceiving right now, I know the decision is hard and the

process timely. My thoughts will be with you.

Sharon in Michigan

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