Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 Canine Resolutions for the New Year - I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. - The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. - I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. - I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. - I will not eat the cats' food, before, or after, they eat it. - I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. - I will not throw up in the car. - I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. - The litter box is not a cookie jar. - I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. - I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. - I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think that I am hemorrhaging. - When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. - I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. - We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television. - I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with them. - The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. - My head does not belong in the refrigerator. - I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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