Re: Rhonda Ahh daughters! O/T

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

Yes, like we talked about, I know some of that is normal but with Niki

and I, her joining the Army and rejecting my beliefs, the way she was

raised, it really hurt. It was really bad and I really did not see how

we could ever be close. I had even come to the conclusion that it just

would never be and told myself that I just had to accept that. So these

latest developments have really surprised me! Now that we have met

Arturo and got to spend some time with him, I am thinking he is why.

Her relationship with him and her really being in love and of course

maturity and the nursing training, seeing the babies being born and

stuff have all made her look at things so differently! I just can't get

over how much she has changed since we last saw her in May!

The last time she was here we fought, really bad. One of the things

was how she would just stand there while I paid for everything and I

felt she was just assuming we would. Like we were always going to

support her. We got in a huge fight about it. I told her how when I go

to see my mom I never assume she is going to pay for something. Even

though she usually does. I always get my money out and when she says no

honey, I got this I thank her. Niki didn't. Well this time, ever where

we went either she or Arturo would get out $20. Then they left a card

on the table. Mike got home before me. I was taking them to the

airport. He called me and told me there was $200 in the card! And we

had all met at a restaurant when Mike was done bowling, before heading

to the airport and as we were leaving, Niki and got in the Jeep and

Arturo was talking to Mike. Mike said when he called me about the card

that Arturo was thanking us for having him and saying how much he loves

Niki and wants to take care of her and asked for our blessing! I wasn't

totally surprised by this but Mike sure was! LOL Daddy's and their

girls ya know?

Like you and everyone told me, this, Niki and I getting closer, would

happen. I just had a hard time believing it! I have just always been

so much closer to Cassie and thought either it happened or it didn't. I

am sure thrilled it has! We still have a long ways to go. Lots of

things that have never been discussed. She really hurt me many times. I

really felt she hated me and hated all I believed in. I am feeling now

that she is really trying to show me in her own way though that she is

sorry and that she does respect me. She is treating me completely

differently then she did even a few months ago!

Having boys is something I can not relate to. Being the youngest of 5

girls and just having girls myself, it's all I have known. But, Mike is

one of 4 boys and has a sister and while his brothers are not very

close to their mom, he and his mom are. From that, from what I have

seen with them, I think mothers and sons can be as close as mothers and

daughters. Your little one being interested in the cookies is great! I

think it's what you make of it. There is no reason those traditions

can't be passed on to them just like with daughters. It will be special

in it's own way. Those kind of traditions are what memories are made

of, boy or girl.

Like you said, enjoy what you have. After all the love you share with

those boys will make them good men and good husbands in the long run! I

really think both relationships are special in their own way. You have

been through soo much and the boys and you are happy and safe now. That

means a lot. Those special memories about the cookies and stuff will

just add to that.

Now that Niki and Arturo are back in DC, I am going to get back to

business here. Been severely slacking on eating, exercise and water!

Well ok, worse than slacking. I've been bad! LOL But it's ok! It's not

how I am all the time. It was just 2 weeks so I really don't feel too

bad about it. Just time to get serious again! I'm just going through

some of the old e-mail this morning and then going to get on the tread

for a bit. Then have to go get Cassie. She is cleaning the shop today.

Mike is going to be out at a job site all day so I have to get her.

Then we need to go to Walmart and the groc store. I hope you had a

happy new year! Here's to losing more weight and getting healthier and

enjoying what we have this new year!!!

Hugs,

Gena

On Wednesday, December 17, 2003, at 09:46 AM, rhondageier@...

wrote:

> Gena,

>

> Me and you talked about this alittle on the phone the other day. I

> was never outright disrespectful of my mother. I was the only girl

> of three and the youngest so I was always with my mom and mom was my

> best friend even as a small child. However there are times with most

> all kids when growing up when you think in order to be independant

> and adult like you need to distance yourself as far from your

> parents as possible. I am not even sure we do it consciously. I

> think it just something that is. In some kids it is worse and in

> some very mild. Sometime after that many of us have a moment of " OMG

> they aren't out to get me..they understand and I respect what they

> think " ..you understand how important they are in your life. Like I

> said I never was disrespectful to my mother but my lack of talking

> withher openly and kinda putting up a wall from her hurt her. I

> think it comes with maturity.

>

> I am very envious of you and your girls. I have two boys which I

> love dearly but I know how I loved my mother as a girl and how

> important she was to me and I was to her. Part of me would like to

> have another child because I want to pass on things to her and share

> things with her that my mother did with me. Like the Cookie recipes

> and baking at the holidays. My little one wants to help me this year

> and the other day he was in the kitchen with me and he asked how I

> know how to make cookies. I told him my mommy taught me. He is only

> 4 and was born 2 months after she passed away so He did not get to

> know her and does not understand really where she is. he sees

> pictures and I talk to him about her. So anyways I tell him since

> Mommy has no girl to teach how to bake cookies like my mommy did

> with me he or his brother are gonna have to learn how to bake them.

> he jumps up and down and throws his hands out and yells " I will " .

> Like I said I love my boys and that brought tears to my eyes that he

> said that even thou he is only 4. But the truth is down the road he

> won't have much interest probably.

>

> So enjoy your girls and enjoy that they are learning to love you not

> only because you are mom but because of the woman that you are and

> how special you are.

>

> Rhonda

>

>

>

> > Hey,

> > Just got off the phone with Niki. She wanted ideas to get daddy

> for

> > when she comes home next week. I mentioned about her doing ob/gyn

> stuff

> > right? For the new folks, she is in the Army training to be a

> nurse in

> > Washington DC. Well last week she got to watch a c-section and she

> > e-mails me to tell me about it. I had both girls c-section. She

> says

> > after watching that " Oh mom, that had to hurt!!! " . LOL I laughed

> and

> > said well yes it did!