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Hey guys,

Just thought I'd take a minute to thank everyone for all the kind words, prayers, and concern regarding my recent TIA. The 'shower' last weekend that Nikki's future in-laws had for Nikki and went well and they got a lot of nice gifts. Nikki's future in-laws could be a lot worse, it's just sometimes difficult because their family dynamics are so entirely different from ours. Nikki is doing quite well with handling things and I feel sure she and will weather any in-law difficulties (on either side) just fine. I'm the momma and I just have to worry and vent at times!

I have been so incredibly exhausted since getting out of the hospital Friday that I've basically just been a slug. I slept more in the last few days than I've slept in the last month or two! I finally started feeling better yesterday evening and today has been a pretty good day. I've got a doctor's appt tomorrow with my internal med doc. My mom is going to take me because I just don't really think I am up to driving.

Nikki and have been here all week. I had planned to do all kinds of wedding things this week, but I haven't done a thing. Nikki and took care of the things that had to be done and they managed fine without me. Nikki and I talked today and she told me that she thinks that she and I need to spend the day prior to the wedding mostly just resting until time for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. She told me that we have plenty of other people who have offered to help get all the decorations and stuff done and that she and I are just going to have to leave it to them, along with our wedding coordinator. She said that will be our last day for her to be 'my little girl' before she becomes a married woman and she wants to spend the day with just me and her. She said we'll go and get our nails done and a pedicure and we can pop in at the church and ballroom to see that everything is going okay, but other than that, she wants the two of us to just rest. I started crying as soon as she told me that. On the one hand, they were tears of gratitude because I knew what she was saying was absolutely correct and how it's got to be. There is no way that I can hold up to spending the entire day setting things up on Friday, be at the rehearsal, and then at the rehearsal dinner, then be at the church at noon on Saturday for the beautician to begin doing our hair. Ready for pictures to begin at 5 p.m. and the wedding ceremony at 7:30 p.m. The reception will last until midnight. I have been praying for God to somehow give me the energy to be able to do everything, but in reality I really knew it was not possible. Maybe that was the reason for the TIA.. Maybe I had to accept that I have just got to let other people take care of things for the wedding. However, part of my tears were because I want so very much to do everything myself. I have ALWAYS been able to make any special event in Nikki's life even more special. Her birthdays were always a very big deal, as was her high school graduation, and her engagement party. I did all of those for crowds of up to 100 people with little or no help. I really and truly wanted to be able to do at least most of the wedding stuff myself. However, I know that Nikki is right. She said that she doesn't even think she could hold up to spending the whole day Friday setting things up and then be able to hold up for the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception. When I cried and told Nikki that I knew she was right, but that I was sad because I really wanted to do it all myself, she hugged me and told me how much I have done already for the wedding and that it's because of all I've done already that she is going to have the wedding of her dreams and it will be absolutely wonderful even if she and I let other people take care of setting things up on the day before and day of the wedding. I'm sitting here crying like a baby right now and I don't really know if my tears are because I am so lucky to have such a remarkable daughter or if they are tears of sadness and acceptance that I can no longer handle doing as much as I once could. I guess the tears are both tears of love and joy for my sweet daughter and grieving over the things I have lost with the decline in my health. Most of the time I am able to smile and realize how very blessed I am. I have things so much better than many in spite of the health issues. However, there are days like today that I do have admit to myself that it's not always so easy to accept that I now have more limitations than I did a couple of years ago.

I'll be fine and I am so lucky that my daughter actually wants to have one last day as 'my little girl'. Of all the blessings in my life, and believe there are many, I honestly cannot believe I am so blessed to have such a remarkable daughter.

Well, enough, my contacts are now cloudy and my nose is running!

Please forgive me for still not being very active in the group.

Love to all,