Re: new -- intro

[Guest guest]

<

>

,

Welcome to the list! My son also has Goldenhar syndrome.

I am Jill, mom to Ian (15, D/HOH) and (12, hearing). Ian is a

sophomore in his local high school. His hearing loss is a progressive conductive

bilateral loss currently in the moderate range. He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

Ian's hearing loss was found when he was about 7½ and we did not have a

correct diagnosis of his level of loss for about another year. We did not have

a

diagnosis of Golderhar until a year after that, when we consulted a

geneticist. Seems I do things a bit backwards. (grin)

Our Ian was also thought, by our school district, to have ADD. We explored

it because it made some sense, but found, like you, that it simply wasn't the

case. Ian has memory issues (short term more so than long term), a slowed

processing speed as well as a " lope ear " on the right side and some facial

paralysis (damage to his 7th cranial nerve while still a developing fetus).

From our experience, part of the behavioral issues could be due to the GS

and the hearing loss and part is most likely linked to his personality. Our Ian

is a VERY laid back child. His frustrations manifested themselves without any

hitting or biting, but that was certainly an issue. Our hearing daughter,

however, was perfectly capable of biting (but thankfully she never did). Hers

is a much more aggressive personality by far, but she doesn't have GS or a

hearing loss.

And yes, the ADHD behaviors really can stem from frustrations of not being

able to hear. Imagine yourself in a room of adults all chatting happily away

and yet you can't hear them. How incredibly isolating and frustrating! Or a

meeting where you are expected to make a presentation and haven't a clue what

is

being said or when it's going to be your turn. I'd have an ulcer in no time

from the tension of not knowing what was expected of me.

Now think of a kid who has yet to develop self control or skills to figure

things out. You have the ingredients for a very frustrated, angry and lost

child. Our Ian didn't act out, he simply shut down and turned inwards. He

thought he was stupid, that he couldn't learn. He would take out paper and draw,

ignoring the class, not acting out. He told me once, trying to reassure ME, that

it was okay, that I needed to accept that he just wasn't as smart as I

thought he was. That broke my heart because I knew that even with his issues, he

was a bright boy who was capable of so much more.

If Ian had been blessed (or cursed) with his sister's personality, he'd have

been a behavior problem. Instead he was labeled a day dreamer -- one of the

kinder labels. Ian would just stare at people when he didn't understand,

waiting until they'd repeat themselves which they usually did. Honestly, at

times

I was more concerned about autism than I was about ADD.

There is so much mixed and/or caused by a lack of language that it's hared

to say definitively what is due to which cause. Our Ian, whether I like to

admit it or not, has brain damage due to the events that make up Goldenhar

syndrome. Whether his issues stem from not hearing (and not stimulating the

language centers of his brain sufficiently) or from lack of blood to the

developing

parts of his brain during gestation, I may never know. So, we've focused on

how to deal with the individual issues rather than focusing on the cause.

The cause isn't all that important to us because neither his hearing loss

nor the damage caused by Golderhar can be " fixed " in any way at this point. They

are what they are and Ian needed to learn way to cope and deal with them.

It's hard to do, but I kept telling myself to just accept that and move forward

because that is what he needed, that way I could help him accept it and move

forward. (We now refer to that process as " fake it 'til you make it. " )

Memory issues, processing speed issues and things like this are common among

D/HOH kids because the ears develop at the same time as the brain does. TODs

(teachers of the deaf) are taught to address those things because they're

common for our kids. My son's TOD explained that she was taught to use certain

kinds of study skills because those elements commonly occur in D/HOH kids.

There are plenty of D/HOH kids with my son's specific issues who don't have GS.

And there are kids who have GS and have other issues.

As for the emotional and social development, again, D/HOH kids often have

trouble with this as well. It is very hard to get a grasp the rules for social

behavior when you can't catch the nuances of language. A lot of learning

social skills is done by incidental learning, overhearing what is going on all

around you, rather than being directly taught social skills. Some of our D/HOH

kids have to literally be taught social skills. For instance, the intonations

attached to an answer can change it's meaning completely and our D/HOH kids

don't pick up on that easily. Imagine trying to find a place to sit at

lunchtime when you have no clue if someone is being serious or sarcastic.

" Sure, you

can sit with us " can mean " yeah, join us " or " you've got to be kidding me,

go away. "

For Ian, language was/is a very concrete thing. Rhetorical questions were

confusing -- I literally taught him what a rhetorical question was because he

use to answer them (before we even knew of his hearing loss). Sarcasm wasn't as

hard that's probably because I am often quite sarcastic. Idioms were a

mystery to him (he thought the Amelia Bedelia books were stupid, it never dawned

on me that he didn't understand the humor).

All this is very common and Ian has had to learn about the nuances of

language one little step at a time. Right now, he is 15, starting his junior

year

in high school and still struggles with allusion in literature. He tends to

take things very literally because that is how he tends to approach any

language use. So, we're now specifically working on that.

It's really a kid-by-kid thing and the solutions you're going to discover

will be tailored to Connor's needs and reactions. I can give you pointers on

what's worked with Ian. Other's will give you their ideas. Your solutions will

be a mix of all of it by trial and error until you find the mix that works.

Our solutions were a combination of academic support and social experiences.

We tried different things and some worked. Trial and error. Ian took karate

for a while and was quite good, so he knew he could defend himself -- he's

smaller than most boys his age. But after a while he lost interest. He still

loves to hike and climb and has discovered the wonders of kayaking and

canoeing. Organized team sports aren't for him, even though he's good at

baseball and

plays in pick-up games with friends. Ian is a Boy Scout, now his troop's SPL

(Senior Patrol Leader -- the troop's elected head boy). He has friends in

this troop that he made when he was younger and afraid even to stand up and say

his name in a meeting. Now he stands up in front of everyone and runs them.

It's been a long process that's still ongoing. As you can see, I tend to

ramble, so I'll stop now. Please ask lots of questions -- contact me off line if

you'd like to ask more personal or GS detailed stuff. I know that when all

this started for us, I'd ask anyone I thought could help me, asking anything

that came to mind. Plus reading everything I could lay my hands on that seemed

to point me in the right direction or broaden my knowledge of what I was

dealing with.

This place is a great collection of knowledge and everyone is very generous

about sharing. So ask away, you'll get lots of answers from all kids of

perspectives.

Again, welcome!

Jill

[Guest guest]

<

>

,

Welcome to the list! My son also has Goldenhar syndrome.

I am Jill, mom to Ian (15, D/HOH) and (12, hearing). Ian is a

sophomore in his local high school. His hearing loss is a progressive conductive

bilateral loss currently in the moderate range. He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

Ian's hearing loss was found when he was about 7½ and we did not have a

correct diagnosis of his level of loss for about another year. We did not have

a

diagnosis of Golderhar until a year after that, when we consulted a

geneticist. Seems I do things a bit backwards. (grin)

Our Ian was also thought, by our school district, to have ADD. We explored

it because it made some sense, but found, like you, that it simply wasn't the

case. Ian has memory issues (short term more so than long term), a slowed

processing speed as well as a " lope ear " on the right side and some facial

paralysis (damage to his 7th cranial nerve while still a developing fetus).

From our experience, part of the behavioral issues could be due to the GS

and the hearing loss and part is most likely linked to his personality. Our Ian

is a VERY laid back child. His frustrations manifested themselves without any

hitting or biting, but that was certainly an issue. Our hearing daughter,

however, was perfectly capable of biting (but thankfully she never did). Hers

is a much more aggressive personality by far, but she doesn't have GS or a

hearing loss.

And yes, the ADHD behaviors really can stem from frustrations of not being

able to hear. Imagine yourself in a room of adults all chatting happily away

and yet you can't hear them. How incredibly isolating and frustrating! Or a

meeting where you are expected to make a presentation and haven't a clue what

is

being said or when it's going to be your turn. I'd have an ulcer in no time

from the tension of not knowing what was expected of me.

Now think of a kid who has yet to develop self control or skills to figure

things out. You have the ingredients for a very frustrated, angry and lost

child. Our Ian didn't act out, he simply shut down and turned inwards. He

thought he was stupid, that he couldn't learn. He would take out paper and draw,

ignoring the class, not acting out. He told me once, trying to reassure ME, that

it was okay, that I needed to accept that he just wasn't as smart as I

thought he was. That broke my heart because I knew that even with his issues, he

was a bright boy who was capable of so much more.

If Ian had been blessed (or cursed) with his sister's personality, he'd have

been a behavior problem. Instead he was labeled a day dreamer -- one of the

kinder labels. Ian would just stare at people when he didn't understand,

waiting until they'd repeat themselves which they usually did. Honestly, at

times

I was more concerned about autism than I was about ADD.

There is so much mixed and/or caused by a lack of language that it's hared

to say definitively what is due to which cause. Our Ian, whether I like to

admit it or not, has brain damage due to the events that make up Goldenhar

syndrome. Whether his issues stem from not hearing (and not stimulating the

language centers of his brain sufficiently) or from lack of blood to the

developing

parts of his brain during gestation, I may never know. So, we've focused on

how to deal with the individual issues rather than focusing on the cause.

The cause isn't all that important to us because neither his hearing loss

nor the damage caused by Golderhar can be " fixed " in any way at this point. They

are what they are and Ian needed to learn way to cope and deal with them.

It's hard to do, but I kept telling myself to just accept that and move forward

because that is what he needed, that way I could help him accept it and move

forward. (We now refer to that process as " fake it 'til you make it. " )

Memory issues, processing speed issues and things like this are common among

D/HOH kids because the ears develop at the same time as the brain does. TODs

(teachers of the deaf) are taught to address those things because they're

common for our kids. My son's TOD explained that she was taught to use certain

kinds of study skills because those elements commonly occur in D/HOH kids.

There are plenty of D/HOH kids with my son's specific issues who don't have GS.

And there are kids who have GS and have other issues.

As for the emotional and social development, again, D/HOH kids often have

trouble with this as well. It is very hard to get a grasp the rules for social

behavior when you can't catch the nuances of language. A lot of learning

social skills is done by incidental learning, overhearing what is going on all

around you, rather than being directly taught social skills. Some of our D/HOH

kids have to literally be taught social skills. For instance, the intonations

attached to an answer can change it's meaning completely and our D/HOH kids

don't pick up on that easily. Imagine trying to find a place to sit at

lunchtime when you have no clue if someone is being serious or sarcastic.

" Sure, you

can sit with us " can mean " yeah, join us " or " you've got to be kidding me,

go away. "

For Ian, language was/is a very concrete thing. Rhetorical questions were

confusing -- I literally taught him what a rhetorical question was because he

use to answer them (before we even knew of his hearing loss). Sarcasm wasn't as

hard that's probably because I am often quite sarcastic. Idioms were a

mystery to him (he thought the Amelia Bedelia books were stupid, it never dawned

on me that he didn't understand the humor).

All this is very common and Ian has had to learn about the nuances of

language one little step at a time. Right now, he is 15, starting his junior

year

in high school and still struggles with allusion in literature. He tends to

take things very literally because that is how he tends to approach any

language use. So, we're now specifically working on that.

It's really a kid-by-kid thing and the solutions you're going to discover

will be tailored to Connor's needs and reactions. I can give you pointers on

what's worked with Ian. Other's will give you their ideas. Your solutions will

be a mix of all of it by trial and error until you find the mix that works.

Our solutions were a combination of academic support and social experiences.

We tried different things and some worked. Trial and error. Ian took karate

for a while and was quite good, so he knew he could defend himself -- he's

smaller than most boys his age. But after a while he lost interest. He still

loves to hike and climb and has discovered the wonders of kayaking and

canoeing. Organized team sports aren't for him, even though he's good at

baseball and

plays in pick-up games with friends. Ian is a Boy Scout, now his troop's SPL

(Senior Patrol Leader -- the troop's elected head boy). He has friends in

this troop that he made when he was younger and afraid even to stand up and say

his name in a meeting. Now he stands up in front of everyone and runs them.

It's been a long process that's still ongoing. As you can see, I tend to

ramble, so I'll stop now. Please ask lots of questions -- contact me off line if

you'd like to ask more personal or GS detailed stuff. I know that when all

this started for us, I'd ask anyone I thought could help me, asking anything

that came to mind. Plus reading everything I could lay my hands on that seemed

to point me in the right direction or broaden my knowledge of what I was

dealing with.

This place is a great collection of knowledge and everyone is very generous

about sharing. So ask away, you'll get lots of answers from all kids of

perspectives.

Again, welcome!

Jill

[Guest guest]

<

>

,

Welcome to the list! My son also has Goldenhar syndrome.

I am Jill, mom to Ian (15, D/HOH) and (12, hearing). Ian is a

sophomore in his local high school. His hearing loss is a progressive conductive

bilateral loss currently in the moderate range. He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

Ian's hearing loss was found when he was about 7½ and we did not have a

correct diagnosis of his level of loss for about another year. We did not have

a

diagnosis of Golderhar until a year after that, when we consulted a

geneticist. Seems I do things a bit backwards. (grin)

Our Ian was also thought, by our school district, to have ADD. We explored

it because it made some sense, but found, like you, that it simply wasn't the

case. Ian has memory issues (short term more so than long term), a slowed

processing speed as well as a " lope ear " on the right side and some facial

paralysis (damage to his 7th cranial nerve while still a developing fetus).

From our experience, part of the behavioral issues could be due to the GS

and the hearing loss and part is most likely linked to his personality. Our Ian

is a VERY laid back child. His frustrations manifested themselves without any

hitting or biting, but that was certainly an issue. Our hearing daughter,

however, was perfectly capable of biting (but thankfully she never did). Hers

is a much more aggressive personality by far, but she doesn't have GS or a

hearing loss.

And yes, the ADHD behaviors really can stem from frustrations of not being

able to hear. Imagine yourself in a room of adults all chatting happily away

and yet you can't hear them. How incredibly isolating and frustrating! Or a

meeting where you are expected to make a presentation and haven't a clue what

is

being said or when it's going to be your turn. I'd have an ulcer in no time

from the tension of not knowing what was expected of me.

Now think of a kid who has yet to develop self control or skills to figure

things out. You have the ingredients for a very frustrated, angry and lost

child. Our Ian didn't act out, he simply shut down and turned inwards. He

thought he was stupid, that he couldn't learn. He would take out paper and draw,

ignoring the class, not acting out. He told me once, trying to reassure ME, that

it was okay, that I needed to accept that he just wasn't as smart as I

thought he was. That broke my heart because I knew that even with his issues, he

was a bright boy who was capable of so much more.

If Ian had been blessed (or cursed) with his sister's personality, he'd have

been a behavior problem. Instead he was labeled a day dreamer -- one of the

kinder labels. Ian would just stare at people when he didn't understand,

waiting until they'd repeat themselves which they usually did. Honestly, at

times

I was more concerned about autism than I was about ADD.

There is so much mixed and/or caused by a lack of language that it's hared

to say definitively what is due to which cause. Our Ian, whether I like to

admit it or not, has brain damage due to the events that make up Goldenhar

syndrome. Whether his issues stem from not hearing (and not stimulating the

language centers of his brain sufficiently) or from lack of blood to the

developing

parts of his brain during gestation, I may never know. So, we've focused on

how to deal with the individual issues rather than focusing on the cause.

The cause isn't all that important to us because neither his hearing loss

nor the damage caused by Golderhar can be " fixed " in any way at this point. They

are what they are and Ian needed to learn way to cope and deal with them.

It's hard to do, but I kept telling myself to just accept that and move forward

because that is what he needed, that way I could help him accept it and move

forward. (We now refer to that process as " fake it 'til you make it. " )

Memory issues, processing speed issues and things like this are common among

D/HOH kids because the ears develop at the same time as the brain does. TODs

(teachers of the deaf) are taught to address those things because they're

common for our kids. My son's TOD explained that she was taught to use certain

kinds of study skills because those elements commonly occur in D/HOH kids.

There are plenty of D/HOH kids with my son's specific issues who don't have GS.

And there are kids who have GS and have other issues.

As for the emotional and social development, again, D/HOH kids often have

trouble with this as well. It is very hard to get a grasp the rules for social

behavior when you can't catch the nuances of language. A lot of learning

social skills is done by incidental learning, overhearing what is going on all

around you, rather than being directly taught social skills. Some of our D/HOH

kids have to literally be taught social skills. For instance, the intonations

attached to an answer can change it's meaning completely and our D/HOH kids

don't pick up on that easily. Imagine trying to find a place to sit at

lunchtime when you have no clue if someone is being serious or sarcastic.

" Sure, you

can sit with us " can mean " yeah, join us " or " you've got to be kidding me,

go away. "

For Ian, language was/is a very concrete thing. Rhetorical questions were

confusing -- I literally taught him what a rhetorical question was because he

use to answer them (before we even knew of his hearing loss). Sarcasm wasn't as

hard that's probably because I am often quite sarcastic. Idioms were a

mystery to him (he thought the Amelia Bedelia books were stupid, it never dawned

on me that he didn't understand the humor).

All this is very common and Ian has had to learn about the nuances of

language one little step at a time. Right now, he is 15, starting his junior

year

in high school and still struggles with allusion in literature. He tends to

take things very literally because that is how he tends to approach any

language use. So, we're now specifically working on that.

It's really a kid-by-kid thing and the solutions you're going to discover

will be tailored to Connor's needs and reactions. I can give you pointers on

what's worked with Ian. Other's will give you their ideas. Your solutions will

be a mix of all of it by trial and error until you find the mix that works.

Our solutions were a combination of academic support and social experiences.

We tried different things and some worked. Trial and error. Ian took karate

for a while and was quite good, so he knew he could defend himself -- he's

smaller than most boys his age. But after a while he lost interest. He still

loves to hike and climb and has discovered the wonders of kayaking and

canoeing. Organized team sports aren't for him, even though he's good at

baseball and

plays in pick-up games with friends. Ian is a Boy Scout, now his troop's SPL

(Senior Patrol Leader -- the troop's elected head boy). He has friends in

this troop that he made when he was younger and afraid even to stand up and say

his name in a meeting. Now he stands up in front of everyone and runs them.

It's been a long process that's still ongoing. As you can see, I tend to

ramble, so I'll stop now. Please ask lots of questions -- contact me off line if

you'd like to ask more personal or GS detailed stuff. I know that when all

this started for us, I'd ask anyone I thought could help me, asking anything

that came to mind. Plus reading everything I could lay my hands on that seemed

to point me in the right direction or broaden my knowledge of what I was

dealing with.

This place is a great collection of knowledge and everyone is very generous

about sharing. So ask away, you'll get lots of answers from all kids of

perspectives.

Again, welcome!

Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/25/2006 7:28:23 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

JillcWood@... writes:

He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

swirled ear molds ... not hearing aids, sigh. I gotta proofread more

carefully.

-- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/25/2006 7:28:23 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

JillcWood@... writes:

He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

swirled ear molds ... not hearing aids, sigh. I gotta proofread more

carefully.

-- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/25/2006 7:28:23 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

JillcWood@... writes:

He is aided in both ears and

wears bright blue aids with red-white-blue swirls.

swirled ear molds ... not hearing aids, sigh. I gotta proofread more

carefully.

-- Jill

[Guest guest]

Our daughter is 5 and has always been much more strong-willed, defiant and

has thrown crazy tantrums in the past. She is not above lying and taking

things that don't belong to her either. We were not used to that as our 12

yr. old son was soooo super easy to raise and remains so. I know they're

all different, though, and my husband's family had a lot of emotionality in

it growing up . . . some still do and glad he doesn't. Sheesh.

Anyway, looking back, I often wonder was she so aggravating because she was

frustrated. So, I can't help you with any definitive answer and doubt any

of us can, but I can tell you that our hearing impaired daughter was a

handful from birth until about 4 yrs. She got better even before aided last

week, so I can't contribute her more pleasant personality to her Phonaks

either. = )

She bit a couple of times when she was maybe 2, but stopped quickly. My son

bit around 2, also, but reserved it only for his aggravating cousin. His

phase was also very short-lived. My reaction of horror ended his, I

believe. Sydney quit because Sydney wanted to, I'm sure, as she has never

cared a great deal what I think or how I feel about things. ; ) Only her

dad. LOL. My husband was a bad biter, according to his mother, though.

Memory and focus seem to be fine in both our kids. I can't help there,

either.

Children are so complex, then adding these conditions/syndromes/etc. really

make everything a big ball of questions. Hang in there and love 'em even

more. It will all sort itself out. Our journey is brighter day by day . .

..

Blessings,

Robin T. in NC

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

--

Robin Tomlinson

thetomlinsons@...

[Guest guest]

Our daughter is 5 and has always been much more strong-willed, defiant and

has thrown crazy tantrums in the past. She is not above lying and taking

things that don't belong to her either. We were not used to that as our 12

yr. old son was soooo super easy to raise and remains so. I know they're

all different, though, and my husband's family had a lot of emotionality in

it growing up . . . some still do and glad he doesn't. Sheesh.

Anyway, looking back, I often wonder was she so aggravating because she was

frustrated. So, I can't help you with any definitive answer and doubt any

of us can, but I can tell you that our hearing impaired daughter was a

handful from birth until about 4 yrs. She got better even before aided last

week, so I can't contribute her more pleasant personality to her Phonaks

either. = )

She bit a couple of times when she was maybe 2, but stopped quickly. My son

bit around 2, also, but reserved it only for his aggravating cousin. His

phase was also very short-lived. My reaction of horror ended his, I

believe. Sydney quit because Sydney wanted to, I'm sure, as she has never

cared a great deal what I think or how I feel about things. ; ) Only her

dad. LOL. My husband was a bad biter, according to his mother, though.

Memory and focus seem to be fine in both our kids. I can't help there,

either.

Children are so complex, then adding these conditions/syndromes/etc. really

make everything a big ball of questions. Hang in there and love 'em even

more. It will all sort itself out. Our journey is brighter day by day . .

..

Blessings,

Robin T. in NC

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

--

Robin Tomlinson

thetomlinsons@...

[Guest guest]

Our daughter is 5 and has always been much more strong-willed, defiant and

has thrown crazy tantrums in the past. She is not above lying and taking

things that don't belong to her either. We were not used to that as our 12

yr. old son was soooo super easy to raise and remains so. I know they're

all different, though, and my husband's family had a lot of emotionality in

it growing up . . . some still do and glad he doesn't. Sheesh.

Anyway, looking back, I often wonder was she so aggravating because she was

frustrated. So, I can't help you with any definitive answer and doubt any

of us can, but I can tell you that our hearing impaired daughter was a

handful from birth until about 4 yrs. She got better even before aided last

week, so I can't contribute her more pleasant personality to her Phonaks

either. = )

She bit a couple of times when she was maybe 2, but stopped quickly. My son

bit around 2, also, but reserved it only for his aggravating cousin. His

phase was also very short-lived. My reaction of horror ended his, I

believe. Sydney quit because Sydney wanted to, I'm sure, as she has never

cared a great deal what I think or how I feel about things. ; ) Only her

dad. LOL. My husband was a bad biter, according to his mother, though.

Memory and focus seem to be fine in both our kids. I can't help there,

either.

Children are so complex, then adding these conditions/syndromes/etc. really

make everything a big ball of questions. Hang in there and love 'em even

more. It will all sort itself out. Our journey is brighter day by day . .

..

Blessings,

Robin T. in NC

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

--

Robin Tomlinson

thetomlinsons@...

[Guest guest]

Our son Jaden is 4 years old and is very behind in his

social/emotional development. I would not say that

this is because of him not being able to hear, rather

the lack of language up until now. He was implated and

2 years old and placed into an Oral school with oral

speech therapy. We used no signs in hope that he had

to rely on his implant. Well, the implant has not and

is not working for him so we went 2 almost 2 years

with him not having any language. He is now in a TC

classroom and his language is growing daily. He is

making slow progress socially and emotionally but it's

going to take a long time. He still has melt downs and

regresses back to acting like a 2 year old would. It

all makes sense but.....I have never had it explained

to me in the way that because there is a hearing loss

on one side the other side of the brain is affected.

That would mean that my son's bilateral severe loss on

both sides would affect both sides of his brain...we'd

really be in trouble! Jaden does present with a lot of

ADHD type behaviors but I know that this all stems

from the lack of language. I think the frustration

with our son comes from the lack of cmmunication that

there is between him and everyone else. He tries so

hard to get his point across and we try so hard to get

our point across that we end up in battles all day

every day. I have faith that it will get better, he

shows me each day.

le

[Guest guest]

Our son Jaden is 4 years old and is very behind in his

social/emotional development. I would not say that

this is because of him not being able to hear, rather

the lack of language up until now. He was implated and

2 years old and placed into an Oral school with oral

speech therapy. We used no signs in hope that he had

to rely on his implant. Well, the implant has not and

is not working for him so we went 2 almost 2 years

with him not having any language. He is now in a TC

classroom and his language is growing daily. He is

making slow progress socially and emotionally but it's

going to take a long time. He still has melt downs and

regresses back to acting like a 2 year old would. It

all makes sense but.....I have never had it explained

to me in the way that because there is a hearing loss

on one side the other side of the brain is affected.

That would mean that my son's bilateral severe loss on

both sides would affect both sides of his brain...we'd

really be in trouble! Jaden does present with a lot of

ADHD type behaviors but I know that this all stems

from the lack of language. I think the frustration

with our son comes from the lack of cmmunication that

there is between him and everyone else. He tries so

hard to get his point across and we try so hard to get

our point across that we end up in battles all day

every day. I have faith that it will get better, he

shows me each day.

le

[Guest guest]

Our son Jaden is 4 years old and is very behind in his

social/emotional development. I would not say that

this is because of him not being able to hear, rather

the lack of language up until now. He was implated and

2 years old and placed into an Oral school with oral

speech therapy. We used no signs in hope that he had

to rely on his implant. Well, the implant has not and

is not working for him so we went 2 almost 2 years

with him not having any language. He is now in a TC

classroom and his language is growing daily. He is

making slow progress socially and emotionally but it's

going to take a long time. He still has melt downs and

regresses back to acting like a 2 year old would. It

all makes sense but.....I have never had it explained

to me in the way that because there is a hearing loss

on one side the other side of the brain is affected.

That would mean that my son's bilateral severe loss on

both sides would affect both sides of his brain...we'd

really be in trouble! Jaden does present with a lot of

ADHD type behaviors but I know that this all stems

from the lack of language. I think the frustration

with our son comes from the lack of cmmunication that

there is between him and everyone else. He tries so

hard to get his point across and we try so hard to get

our point across that we end up in battles all day

every day. I have faith that it will get better, he

shows me each day.

le

[Guest guest]

Hi, I thought I had posted a reply, but it looks like it got " lost " in

cyberspace. Apologies if this goes thru twice.

Anyway, hello and welcome . Both me and my 3 1/2 year old

daughter have a severe unilateral loss in our left ear. Clara has had

her share of tantrums, but is generally quite compliant. Her tantrums

have almost disappeared. I wasn't a behavior problem either. So in

our situation at least, left side hearing loss causing damage to the

right side of the brain did not cause behavior problems. I haven't

researched the topic, but it sounds like bunk to me.

I can understand how a hearing loss, even a unilateral one, can lead

to social problems. Clara, though improving, is behind her peers in

social skills. And I some social difficulties growing up. I wouldn't

say those difficulties were 100% due to my hearing loss, but I think

it definitely played a major role. An auditory processing disorder

and concentration problems of course wouldn't help. Does he have an

FM at school? I have heard several people say that has been very

useful for kids with a unilateral loss. And it may also help with

auditory processing, as well as make it easier for him to concentrate

since he can hear the teacher better.

Take care,

Cheryl

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, I thought I had posted a reply, but it looks like it got " lost " in

cyberspace. Apologies if this goes thru twice.

Anyway, hello and welcome . Both me and my 3 1/2 year old

daughter have a severe unilateral loss in our left ear. Clara has had

her share of tantrums, but is generally quite compliant. Her tantrums

have almost disappeared. I wasn't a behavior problem either. So in

our situation at least, left side hearing loss causing damage to the

right side of the brain did not cause behavior problems. I haven't

researched the topic, but it sounds like bunk to me.

I can understand how a hearing loss, even a unilateral one, can lead

to social problems. Clara, though improving, is behind her peers in

social skills. And I some social difficulties growing up. I wouldn't

say those difficulties were 100% due to my hearing loss, but I think

it definitely played a major role. An auditory processing disorder

and concentration problems of course wouldn't help. Does he have an

FM at school? I have heard several people say that has been very

useful for kids with a unilateral loss. And it may also help with

auditory processing, as well as make it easier for him to concentrate

since he can hear the teacher better.

Take care,

Cheryl

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, I thought I had posted a reply, but it looks like it got " lost " in

cyberspace. Apologies if this goes thru twice.

Anyway, hello and welcome . Both me and my 3 1/2 year old

daughter have a severe unilateral loss in our left ear. Clara has had

her share of tantrums, but is generally quite compliant. Her tantrums

have almost disappeared. I wasn't a behavior problem either. So in

our situation at least, left side hearing loss causing damage to the

right side of the brain did not cause behavior problems. I haven't

researched the topic, but it sounds like bunk to me.

I can understand how a hearing loss, even a unilateral one, can lead

to social problems. Clara, though improving, is behind her peers in

social skills. And I some social difficulties growing up. I wouldn't

say those difficulties were 100% due to my hearing loss, but I think

it definitely played a major role. An auditory processing disorder

and concentration problems of course wouldn't help. Does he have an

FM at school? I have heard several people say that has been very

useful for kids with a unilateral loss. And it may also help with

auditory processing, as well as make it easier for him to concentrate

since he can hear the teacher better.

Take care,

Cheryl

>

> Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

> aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

> microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

> GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

> we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

> was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

> defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

> child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

> Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

> concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

> was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

> noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

> (one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

> tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

> The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

> the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

> memory and concentration.

>

> My first question is this – how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

> issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

>

> My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

> Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

> (bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

> that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

> that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

> brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

> will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

> side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

> social/emotional development?

>

> Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

> hearing/lack of?

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi !

My name is Kris, and my son is also an 8 year old with a

Profound/Complete SNL in his left ear.

has had his moments of acting out, but for the most part, he's a lot

like Jill's Ian - he tends to withdraw and not tell anyone what's bothering

him. His loss is most likely congenital (it wasn't discovered until he was

5.5 years old), and he truly doesn't realize *what* he's missing. Noisy

environments like the cafeteria at school, music class, or certain

restaurants (our Applebee's have horrible acoustics) just set him on edge,

and then he'll occasionally fall over said edge and lose his temper.

As far as the psychologist's theory: to use a " Friends " type of phrasing:

I *so* don't think so!

I'm not an expert, but it sure sounds like Connor is getting " triple

whammied " : his APD makes it difficult for him to deal with background

noise, his UHL makes it difficult (if not impossible) to filter out that

background noise, and his brain, because of his age, would still be learning

to handle the filtering of background noise even if he had two " good " ears.

and Connor sound a lot alike, actually. As far as I know, there's no

research out there that shows a direct correlation between left sided

hearing and emotional development. I *have* found research showing that the

left side tends to dominate in areas of speech, whereas the right dominates

in areas of tones and music, but that's about it.

just got fitted with an EduLink FM system in February of this year -

it's marketed as an assistive listening device for kids with APDs or ADD,

but it really works wonders for kids with Unilateral Loss as well. It made

it a lot easier for to concentrate on what he was supposed to be

paying attention to, and he started to " get " what was being said more often

on the first try. He's about to get fitted with a TransEar (a BTE

equivalent to the BAHA) next Tuesday, which may mean that we need to change

FM systems, but we've really liked the EduLink and what it's done for him.

Hang in there - there's lot of wonderful people here to offer you a

shoulder!

Hugs to you,

Kris

Mom to (8, Profound/Complete SNL, Left Ear) and Ethan (6, Hearing)

_____

From: Listen-Up [mailto:Listen-Up ] On Behalf

Of

Sent: Tuesday, July 25, 2006 3:13 PM

To: Listen-Up

Subject: new -- intro

Hi! My 8yo ds, Connor, is hearing impaired on his left side due to

aural atresia from Goldenhar syndrome. (He also has left-side

microtia, c-spine hemivertebrae, and hemifacial microsomia from

GS). Having been born with his " little ear " and other anomalies,

we've been to a multitude of specialists over the years. When he

was about 3-4 yrs old, Connor's behavior changed (hyper, mildly

defiant, etc.). Hubby and I thought we just had a strong-willed

child and tried to adjust (10yo dd is easygoing & compliant).

Woops! Things became worse. Meltdown city! Then I noticed his

concentration, memory and vision wasn't right. Long-story-short, ds

was dx in 2004 with auditory processing disorder (re: background

noise), and then dx with adhd by two different, unrelated doctors

(one from Shands, a teaching hospital). In my search to find some

tx or supplement to help him, I stumbled on brainmapping via qEEG.

The doctor interpreting the results said ds does NOT have adhd, just

the symptoms. So we followed up with neurotherapy to help his

memory and concentration.

My first question is this - how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

(bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

social/emotional development?

Could all these adhd symptoms really be frustration from

hearing/lack of?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Welcome and family. ;-)

Emery

[Guest guest]

Welcome and family. ;-)

Emery

[Guest guest]

Welcome and family. ;-)

Emery

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/26/2006 9:43:51 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

smail@... writes:

That's interesting -- Connor is very blessed musically (perfect

pitch). In fact, he wanted to go to the " opera camp " that our local

opera house holds each summer, but only if he can sing for everyone

the whole time! :-)

Ian has/had perfect pitch as well but never wanted to play an instrument

except the piano. And then quit because he didn't like practicing the stuff that

" wasn't fun. " We agree to stop the lessons rather than cause him to develop a

dislike music. Then boy picked up the recorder in 2nd grade and was playing

anything " by ear " at about the same time we were learning of his hearing

loss. (My family is very musical, my mother was a professionally coloratura

soprano.) music classes were a nightmare because he couldn't hear a thing that

was going on unless everyone was playing in unison (as much unison as 2nd

graders can manage), but he could play anything you asked of him one-on-one.

Since music class quickly became a waster of time for Ian (poor kid got

headaches trying to make sense out of what he was hearing) he soon became exempt

from classes and that time was used for his TOD or reading classes.

As his hearing deteriorates, Ian's singing voice is often off-key and he is

very sensitive to that, so he refuses lessons or being in chorus or even being

in the church choir. But he sings with great gusto here at home and at times

when I hear him from across the house, he sounds just like my brother (a

trained baritone). The funny thing is he's very amenable to having his tone

corrected. Once he finds the right notes, he is always right on key (the same as

whatever recording he's listening it) He sings much better than most of his

hearing friends but for him it's just for fun.

A couple summers ago, he picked up a fife at a Civil War re-enactment,

quickly figured out how to get a tone and then picked out Ode to Joy ... the man

selling the fifes asked how long he'd been playing. Ian laughed and said

" about 3 minutes. " The guys announced that I had a prodigy (my turn to laugh)

....

but I bought him the fife. (grin) Still, he refuses any kind of lessons.

So, encourage the music, as long as he is enjoying it, I say " go for it. "

If Connor is old enough for opera camp, sign him up!

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Hi Jill! Ian sounds like a great kid. Thanks for the welcome!

[Guest guest]

> Does he have an

> FM at school? I have heard several people say that has been very

> useful for kids with a unilateral loss. And it may also help with

> auditory processing, as well as make it easier for him to concentrate

> since he can hear the teacher better.

Yes, ds has an FM system. We homeschool, and while the FM helps to

keep him focused (without extraneous noise interfering), I haven't

needed it much during school time. If I decide to put him into a group

class then it will come in handy.

Thanks for your reply!

[Guest guest]

> I *have* found research showing that the

> left side tends to dominate in areas of speech, whereas the right

dominates

> in areas of tones and music, but that's about it.

That's interesting -- Connor is very blessed musically (perfect

pitch). In fact, he wanted to go to the " opera camp " that our local

opera house holds each summer, but only if he can sing for everyone

the whole time! :-)

Thanks for the welcome, Kris!

[Guest guest]

Thanks, ! And thanks for sending me here!

[Guest guest]

Hi and welcome. Glad you found us. I'm and my 14 year old daughter

Maggie was diagnosed late (3 3/4 years) with a moderate to severe hearing loss

in both ears. She wears hearing aids, used an FM until teenagerness appeared,

and is an Auditory Verbal Therapy graduate. She has always been mainstreamed

for school and activities and is a pretty typical teenaged girl, cell phone,

eye rolling and all.

Your post sparked some memories for me. I think we had a mom join the group in

months past with a very similar story, from central FL, told by a psychologist

that problems with behavior was due to unilateral loss and the brain, qEEG done

discounting ADHD. Even the supplements and neurotherapy. I just have to say

that this is all pretty far from the mainstream of how hearing impaired kids are

understood, treated etc. They could possibly be on to something new and

exciting, but as of what people know now, there is no research to back this up.

(I spent the past year researching my thesis paper on childhood hearing loss for

a Masters in Public Health - basically spent two years tracking, following and

reading all published research relating to kids with hearing loss.)

Auditory processing disorder is really present in pretty much all hearing

impaired kids because they haven't had the quality or amount of auditory input

to properly build brain auditory centers and pathways. In true APD, kids with

normal hearing act like hearing impaired kids when it comes to processing what

they hear. When you aid a child with a hearing loss, they will still have the

effects of the hearing loss as far as auditory brain centers are concerned

unless specific intentional work (think therapy, early intervention) to address

this is done. That being said, some hearing impaired kids do have an extra

dose of auditory processing problems - kind of at the severe end of the spectrum

of auditory processing problems, not necassarily on the severe end of hearing

loss. Sometimes it is an inability to distinguish speech from noise very well

like your son. When you wear hearing aids, this happens because the hearing aid

amplifies the noise and the speech equally. My daughter has this problem, when

aided and in quiet she understands 95+ % of what she hears. At a speech to

noise ratio of +10, she falls to 40% comprehension. She goes from the " good "

end of the spectrum in quiet to the poor end in noise. They were pretty

surprised to see that her ability to comprehend speech deteriorated in noise so

tremendously since she did so extremely well in quiet.

My first question is this - how much of ds's behavior/memory/focus

>issues can be attributed to his hearing loss?

Short answer: ALL OF IT!!!!

Longer answer:

Our daughter was diagnosed late, at almost 4 years old, and her language was

delayed. But the biggest problem we had with her was behavior. She would have

been a great candidate for the show Nanny 911. Everyday we had any number of

complete meltdowns. I spent most of the day trying to keep things smooth to

prevent meltdowns. I was nearly a candidate for the funny farm! After she was

diagnosed, as her language abilities increased and her auditory processing

issues were addressed, her terrible behaviors decreased. She became a totally

different child. Our audiologist said that when kids can't hear well, they are

incredibly frustrated, and either become quite passive and zone out or get

aggressive and act out. (She also said that the aggressive kids tend to improve

faster after diagnosis because of the same traits so it isn't totally a negative

thing!) Maggie was definitely an aggrssive, act out kid! The new Maggie was

much easier to live with, in fact within a year she became a kind, considerate,

thoughtful, delightful child. Prior to her diagnosis it was literally dangerous

to leave her in a room with another child without direct adult supervision!

She used a soundfield in school for 5K through 2nd grade. She excelled in

school and was always well behaved. When 3rd grade started, we started getting

daily frownie face notes from the teacher regarding Maggie's behavior. She was

aggressive to other children, didn't follow directions, and was defiant, even

defaced school property. We couldn't figure out what had happened. My husband

mused " she hasn't acted like this since she got her hearing aids! " and the light

went on. We asked the teacher and sure enough she wasn't using the soundfield

because she thought Maggie " didn't need it. " She thought we were just indulgent

parents that didn't discipline our child and wanted to use the hearing loss as a

crutch. After numerous meetings, I basically said " This is how she behaved

before she got hearing aids. Then this behavior went away completely until now.

THe only difference we see is that you are not using the soundfield and up to

this point, all the teachers have used the soundfield 100% of every day. And I

asked her to try it " our way " for a week. (We are in a private school). She

called me a day and a half later and said she had to admit, she now had a

totally different Maggie in her class. So yes, behavior issues can SOOOO be

due to hearing - or not hearing well!! There is a terrific book by an

audiologist named Carol Flexer that is called something like Facilitating

Listening and Hearing in Young Children. This book will really help you to see

how the hearing loss affects nearly every aspect of the child's development -

social, emotional, focus, etc. You can find the book on Amazon, it's kind of

expensive so you can also try getting it through interlibrary loan. Here's a

link to an article she wrote about minimal hearing loss. I give this to

Maggie's teachers every year because it lays out the problems a child with

minimal or unilateral loss can have - I tell them Maggie's loss is much worse

than this, but she will have the same problems.

http://www.totalhearing.net/child_faq_management.htm I'm not sure where it is

published, but I've heard Dr. Flexer speak a number of times and she actually

has a chart that shows all the ways that hearing loss mimics ADHD. (Of course

there are kids who truly have hearing loss AND ADHD. My middle child has ADHD

but no hearing loss). Forgot to mention that Carol Flexer is the main GURU and

advocate for kids with unilateral and " minimal " hearing loss!!

The other thing we did was auditory verbal therapy. AVT addresses the hearing

loss by teaching the child to listen - which means building their auditory

processing abilities by directing therapy to those issues and actually building

the chld's brains' auditory and language centers. They learn to process language

through hearing it. So simultaneously, in a developmentally appropriate

sequence, you are building the child's brains's auditory centers, auditory

pathways, language centers, language pathways, as well as speech production and

output pathways. You are simply intentionally recreating what would happen in

brain development had there not been a hearing loss. There is a lot of research

that backs this up, and now auditory verbal (and auditory oral) is considered

the standard of care for kids with cochlear implants - because it has a proven

track record of teaching the child's brain how to process and use the auditory

information. Many implant centers won't implant a child unless the family

commits to intensive auditory therapy of some kind. Maggie had tremendous

problems with auditory memory and auditory sequencing. We worked on this alot

in AVT. If you told her 3 things, she would remember the first or the last.

Then she improved to remembering the first and the last thing she heard.

Finally, she got to where she could remember 4 things in the right order. She

also could add and subtract before she could count to 10 and could read before

she could sing the alphabet song correctly. All of this is due to auditory

memory and sequencing issues.

Another thing that is based on research is a computer program called

FastForWord. It was developed for kids with language based learning disorders

and it too works on auditory processing issues. It is a computer game that

manipulates speech so that sounds that are usually very soft and quick (which

are the same sounds hearing impaired kids have the hardest time hearing) are

slowed down and emphasized. The child plays the computer game and does what the

computer manipulated voice tells them to do and as the child improves on the

game, the program goes to the next steps automatically. The sounds that were

slowed down and emphasized are gradually brought back to normal. Kids improve

their language skills because their auditory processing has been improved. You

usually have to do this through a specially trained SLP though they may have a

home version now. It isn't marketed to hearing impaired kids but several

parents on this list have used it successfully for their kids and several

cochlear implant rehab people have used it. http://www.scilearn.com/

>My second question revolves around what a psychologist told me.

>Connor appears to react like a toddler when he gets angry/frustrated

>(bit my dd `cause he thought she cheated at tag). The psych said

>that's because he can't hear via his left ear. He went on to say

>that a lack of hearing on the left affected the right side of his

>brain (in charge of social/emotional). The psych also said that ds

>will remain soc/emo behind unless we get his hearing fixed on that

>side. Hogwash, right? But how much of hearing affects one's

>social/emotional development?

You hit the nail right on the head - HOGWASH! (this other mom must have gone to

the same psych because she too was told her son's behavior was due to the

unilateral hearing loss and the sidedness of the brain!) Kids with hearing loss

are commonly delayed socially and emotionally and it is because they are unable

to hear well enough to absorb the unspoken, untaught rules of the social realm.

And because they might not have heard what was going on so they do or say

something inappropriate to the situation. Plus they are frustrated so they can

act inappropriately. And they are often fatigued from the effort it takes to

listen so they act inappropriately. So just like you have to " teach " auditory

processing to a hearing impaired child, you need to intentionally teach the

rules of socializing and how the world works. You probably can't " fix " the

hearing on that side (does he have a cochlea?? Some kids with microtia due to GS

do, some don't) - but you can address the very common social/emotional delays

that are found in most kids with hearing loss. Maggie was also at both ends of

the spectrum here - went from hellion to " perfect " child (what the middle child

calls her!) in about 18 months.

So to answer both questions, your dear little guy is showing all the usual and

common things you'd expect to see in a child who has never had typical hearing.

Nothing to do with one side of the brain. You have described a very typical

child with less than perfect hearing, plain and simple. All of the issues you

described are the ones common to hearing loss. Could something else like ADHD

be going on? Sure. But for sure the hearing loss related issues are gonig on.

Got a question? Did anything change in your son's life around the time the

behavior changed?? I'm thinking environmental things - like did you exchange

carpeted floors for terrazzo or tile or hardwood?? Or did school or day care

change - the trigger for the change could have been a change into an unfavorable

acoustic environment for a big part of his day. Acoustics are VERY important

to a child who can't hear well. It can have an immense effect on how well they

can hear and understand.

Oh, I forgot to say, I'm a former Floridian! My parents moved there and I was

13 so I had no choice. So I went to high school in Ft. Lauderdale and married a

boy from Boca. We have family all up the east coast and Tallahassee and Ocala.

There used to be a terrific professor at UF who wrote a book or two with Carol

Flexer about acoustics and hearing loss named Carl Crandell but he died a year

or so ago. Not sure if anyone in audiology at UF has picked up the acoustics

torch. (Forgot to mention Carol Flexer is also a huge advocate for acoustics

for kids with hearing loss - it all goes together, acoustics, auditory

processing, language, behavior)

Boy this was a long post even for me who is typically long winded! Hope it is

helpful as you try to sort out what is going on with your little boy.