A. McKean on Speech (spoke first as a teen)

[Guest guest]

A. McKean has appeared on Oprah, has written two books and is

a disabilities advocate. He didn't learn to speak until he was a

teenager. I thought this excerpt was very interesting.

http://www.thomasamckean.com/index.html

: On Speech

Speech is hard for me. I can make people think I am " normal, " but it

takes much effort and energy. Some times more than others. These

times seem to fluctuate at random unless stress is involved. There

are, on occasion, still times when I want to talk, but I can't. I

can try and try and try, but I can't talk. There is a fear holding

me back. I do not know what it is I am afraid of, I only know that

it is a feeling of fear unlike any other feeling of fear I have ever

known. It is not that I do not want to talk, it is that I am unable

to at that moment. I was asked by a parent once why it seems her

child can talk fine at some times and why he cannot talk at all

during other times. Many people have scratched their heads trying to

figure this out. I'd like to offer this theory, based on personal

experience.

I believe that fear is the dominant emotion in autism. People with

autism do not usually know what it is that they are afraid of and I

think this is the result of sensory overload. They can trust no one.

But... there are times when things are so quiet and so placid, times

when there is next to zero sensory stimuli, or times when they are

so wrapped up in whatever activity they may be doing at the moment,

that the fear fades. Just for a little bit. I believe this is when

they decide to talk. Either that, or they are, at the moment,

fighting one incredible war with the demons whirling within them.

And even if they just say one little thing, it is a victory of sorts

and they are in a sense winning the battle. And we should all be

very, very proud of them. Because what they did was not easy. And it

takes a very strong person to fight it.