Re: mainstreaming deaf children

[Guest guest]

We have two deaf daughters who have always been mainstreamed. I think the

deaf will always be socially isolated to some extend. If they are educated

in a school with other deaf students, they will probably get along socially

better than with no other deaf students. But, eventually, they will

graduate and enter the world of the hearing, and they will need to have

coping skills in place by that time that they have learned throughout their

social interactions, mostly from school. You know your child better than

everyone else. One of our daughters would probably do better socially in a

deaf school, and the other one would never agree to be educated in a deaf

school. Since they are minors and my kids, their father and I make the

final and last call on where they will go to school. Kind of harsh, I know,

but that is life. My girls got along wonderfully until they entered middle

school. Then, no one, deaf or hearing, is comfortable in the body they own,

so they began to struggle somewhat. We expected that. Do they feel left

out at times? Yes. Do they feel sad about it at times? Yes.

Unfortunately, that is real life, and they have learned that, so they just

work harder at being good students and good people.

This was probably no help to you......sorry about that. Tish

PS. Both of our girls are implanted with cochlear implants, and I think

just the public school, mainstreamed setting, has helped them make wonderful

use of the hearing the implants have given them.

> Hi all,

>

> I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

> 4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

> are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

> deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

> as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

>

> This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

> his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

> Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

> interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

> at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

> (which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

> second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

> deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

> hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

> things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

> difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

> or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

> with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

> may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

> that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

> person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

> misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

> not at interested.

>

> I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

> has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

> insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

> because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

> sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

>

> Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

>

> Sincerely,

> Angie

> (Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

>

>

>

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post

> is the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to

> copyright restrictions.

>

[Guest guest]

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/23/2006 2:25:35 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

angierenae2001@... writes:

He also loves video games - again a solo activity.

Angie,

One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of his

young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours. (And

consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

Ian learned to like video games from this friend. AS result, we bought

several 2 player games and Ian would invite a friend over and they'd sit in

our

living room playing for hours -- and eating our popcorn. I think some can

have even more players and you can somehow daisy-chain more players into the

system with a certain jack.

For a while, Ian's best friend was a girl and she'd whomp him every time in

the now ancient karate game. We even had sleep overs with them camped out in

the living room, near the Play Station. Tthis, of course, ended when they were

about 9, but they're still friends. After that all sleep-overs were same sex

affairs.

So, have him invite a friend over for an afternoon of video games. He'll

build those friendships one child at a time. Base the activities on things he

likes with friends who like the same things. He may not end up in the jock

clique, he may end up in the art one. Either way, he'll make friends. (One of

Ian's best friends is a good artist and is now talking about going to art

school.)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/23/2006 2:25:35 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

angierenae2001@... writes:

He also loves video games - again a solo activity.

Angie,

One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of his

young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours. (And

consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

Ian learned to like video games from this friend. AS result, we bought

several 2 player games and Ian would invite a friend over and they'd sit in

our

living room playing for hours -- and eating our popcorn. I think some can

have even more players and you can somehow daisy-chain more players into the

system with a certain jack.

For a while, Ian's best friend was a girl and she'd whomp him every time in

the now ancient karate game. We even had sleep overs with them camped out in

the living room, near the Play Station. Tthis, of course, ended when they were

about 9, but they're still friends. After that all sleep-overs were same sex

affairs.

So, have him invite a friend over for an afternoon of video games. He'll

build those friendships one child at a time. Base the activities on things he

likes with friends who like the same things. He may not end up in the jock

clique, he may end up in the art one. Either way, he'll make friends. (One of

Ian's best friends is a good artist and is now talking about going to art

school.)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/23/2006 2:25:35 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

angierenae2001@... writes:

He also loves video games - again a solo activity.

Angie,

One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of his

young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours. (And

consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

Ian learned to like video games from this friend. AS result, we bought

several 2 player games and Ian would invite a friend over and they'd sit in

our

living room playing for hours -- and eating our popcorn. I think some can

have even more players and you can somehow daisy-chain more players into the

system with a certain jack.

For a while, Ian's best friend was a girl and she'd whomp him every time in

the now ancient karate game. We even had sleep overs with them camped out in

the living room, near the Play Station. Tthis, of course, ended when they were

about 9, but they're still friends. After that all sleep-overs were same sex

affairs.

So, have him invite a friend over for an afternoon of video games. He'll

build those friendships one child at a time. Base the activities on things he

likes with friends who like the same things. He may not end up in the jock

clique, he may end up in the art one. Either way, he'll make friends. (One of

Ian's best friends is a good artist and is now talking about going to art

school.)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Hi Angie,

My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf elementary

kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our son was in a

regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For that, he went to

the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special instruction from a wonderful

HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to Indiana to a small town where my

husband grew up. They had never dealt with a HI child. Needless to say, we were

concerned. The school system came through and provided him with the same

services he had, except for the special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and

interpreter, and a HI teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM

system in both his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a

teacher that was tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up

to do. In 4th grade, the difference was like night

and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the honor

roll every quarter!

's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been interested

in his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable with friends he

knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there has been the

occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we have with our

hearing children and their contact with bullies.

Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's learned to

sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since he's doing well

academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where one on one

socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have noticed about

(he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more self conscious about his

hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that they won't show. We have always

taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but he's entering an age

where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope

things go well with your son and would love to keep in touch with you to hear of

his progress.

Best wishes, Dora

mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing and

married)

angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

(which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

not at interested.

I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

Sincerely,

Angie

(Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Angie,

My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf elementary

kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our son was in a

regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For that, he went to

the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special instruction from a wonderful

HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to Indiana to a small town where my

husband grew up. They had never dealt with a HI child. Needless to say, we were

concerned. The school system came through and provided him with the same

services he had, except for the special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and

interpreter, and a HI teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM

system in both his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a

teacher that was tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up

to do. In 4th grade, the difference was like night

and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the honor

roll every quarter!

's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been interested

in his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable with friends he

knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there has been the

occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we have with our

hearing children and their contact with bullies.

Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's learned to

sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since he's doing well

academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where one on one

socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have noticed about

(he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more self conscious about his

hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that they won't show. We have always

taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but he's entering an age

where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope

things go well with your son and would love to keep in touch with you to hear of

his progress.

Best wishes, Dora

mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing and

married)

angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

(which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

not at interested.

I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

Sincerely,

Angie

(Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Dora,

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your email. You are exactly the type of

connection I was hoping to make by sending out the email I did. It is very

helpful to hear that your son is doing so well mainstreamed w/no other deaf of

HI peers. His situation is exactly like my Garrett's where he was in a public

school but it also housed the regional program. So he'd go to mainstream

classes and then get extra help in the HI class on subjects where he needed it.

I think the districts ultimate goal is to have children in their home schools

and since he has been mainstreamed they see no reason not to do that at his home

school.

The school where he is transferring is also about 3x the size of the one he is

leaving. It's a great school academically - huge, new and lots of opportunities

for his education. I just worry so much about the social aspect. I mentioned

he played baseball w/his other school this spring and he just hardly interacted

w/his teammates. He's not gifted athletically so that did set him apart and

without the proper motivation he just didn't try to learn the game or understand

what was happening around him. I mean he did so some extent it's just that for

instance when they'd cheer " 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate.... " I'd watch him

looking hard at everyone to try and get what they were saying and he didn't.

He's also becoming more aware of his aids and often says he wishes he could hear

well like everyone else - that's a heartbreaker isn't it.

I just remember when he was first born and I met the mom of some deaf high

school students who said that there child just struggled terribly with school

and social matters until they one day put her into a school for the deaf and how

she'd just blossomed and made so many friends etc. I don't want him to have to

wait for that, but on the other hand I don't want him to be in an environment

that is predominately silent.

I know I'm rambling. I look forward to talking with you more about this - I

am just so excited to have made contact with someone like you who is in the same

boat!

Thank you,

Angie Sauer

dora donna dora_donna@...> wrote:

Hi Angie,

My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf elementary

kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our son was in a

regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For that, he went to

the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special instruction from a wonderful

HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to Indiana to a small town where my

husband grew up. They had never dealt with a HI child. Needless to say, we were

concerned. The school system came through and provided him with the same

services he had, except for the special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and

interpreter, and a HI teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM

system in both his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a

teacher that was tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up

to do. In 4th grade, the difference was like night

and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the honor

roll every quarter!

's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been interested in

his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable with friends he

knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there has been the

occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we have with our

hearing children and their contact with bullies.

Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's learned to

sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since he's doing well

academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where one on one

socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have noticed about

(he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more self conscious about his

hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that they won't show. We have always

taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but he's entering an age

where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope

things go well with your son and would love to keep in touch with you to hear of

his progress.

Best wishes, Dora

mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing and

married)

angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

(which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

not at interested.

I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

Sincerely,

Angie

(Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Dora,

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your email. You are exactly the type of

connection I was hoping to make by sending out the email I did. It is very

helpful to hear that your son is doing so well mainstreamed w/no other deaf of

HI peers. His situation is exactly like my Garrett's where he was in a public

school but it also housed the regional program. So he'd go to mainstream

classes and then get extra help in the HI class on subjects where he needed it.

I think the districts ultimate goal is to have children in their home schools

and since he has been mainstreamed they see no reason not to do that at his home

school.

The school where he is transferring is also about 3x the size of the one he is

leaving. It's a great school academically - huge, new and lots of opportunities

for his education. I just worry so much about the social aspect. I mentioned

he played baseball w/his other school this spring and he just hardly interacted

w/his teammates. He's not gifted athletically so that did set him apart and

without the proper motivation he just didn't try to learn the game or understand

what was happening around him. I mean he did so some extent it's just that for

instance when they'd cheer " 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate.... " I'd watch him

looking hard at everyone to try and get what they were saying and he didn't.

He's also becoming more aware of his aids and often says he wishes he could hear

well like everyone else - that's a heartbreaker isn't it.

I just remember when he was first born and I met the mom of some deaf high

school students who said that there child just struggled terribly with school

and social matters until they one day put her into a school for the deaf and how

she'd just blossomed and made so many friends etc. I don't want him to have to

wait for that, but on the other hand I don't want him to be in an environment

that is predominately silent.

I know I'm rambling. I look forward to talking with you more about this - I

am just so excited to have made contact with someone like you who is in the same

boat!

Thank you,

Angie Sauer

dora donna dora_donna@...> wrote:

Hi Angie,

My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf elementary

kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our son was in a

regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For that, he went to

the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special instruction from a wonderful

HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to Indiana to a small town where my

husband grew up. They had never dealt with a HI child. Needless to say, we were

concerned. The school system came through and provided him with the same

services he had, except for the special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and

interpreter, and a HI teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM

system in both his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a

teacher that was tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up

to do. In 4th grade, the difference was like night

and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the honor

roll every quarter!

's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been interested in

his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable with friends he

knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there has been the

occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we have with our

hearing children and their contact with bullies.

Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's learned to

sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since he's doing well

academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where one on one

socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have noticed about

(he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more self conscious about his

hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that they won't show. We have always

taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but he's entering an age

where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope

things go well with your son and would love to keep in touch with you to hear of

his progress.

Best wishes, Dora

mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing and

married)

angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

(which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

not at interested.

I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

Sincerely,

Angie

(Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Dora,

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your email. You are exactly the type of

connection I was hoping to make by sending out the email I did. It is very

helpful to hear that your son is doing so well mainstreamed w/no other deaf of

HI peers. His situation is exactly like my Garrett's where he was in a public

school but it also housed the regional program. So he'd go to mainstream

classes and then get extra help in the HI class on subjects where he needed it.

I think the districts ultimate goal is to have children in their home schools

and since he has been mainstreamed they see no reason not to do that at his home

school.

The school where he is transferring is also about 3x the size of the one he is

leaving. It's a great school academically - huge, new and lots of opportunities

for his education. I just worry so much about the social aspect. I mentioned

he played baseball w/his other school this spring and he just hardly interacted

w/his teammates. He's not gifted athletically so that did set him apart and

without the proper motivation he just didn't try to learn the game or understand

what was happening around him. I mean he did so some extent it's just that for

instance when they'd cheer " 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate.... " I'd watch him

looking hard at everyone to try and get what they were saying and he didn't.

He's also becoming more aware of his aids and often says he wishes he could hear

well like everyone else - that's a heartbreaker isn't it.

I just remember when he was first born and I met the mom of some deaf high

school students who said that there child just struggled terribly with school

and social matters until they one day put her into a school for the deaf and how

she'd just blossomed and made so many friends etc. I don't want him to have to

wait for that, but on the other hand I don't want him to be in an environment

that is predominately silent.

I know I'm rambling. I look forward to talking with you more about this - I

am just so excited to have made contact with someone like you who is in the same

boat!

Thank you,

Angie Sauer

dora donna dora_donna@...> wrote:

Hi Angie,

My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf elementary

kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our son was in a

regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For that, he went to

the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special instruction from a wonderful

HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to Indiana to a small town where my

husband grew up. They had never dealt with a HI child. Needless to say, we were

concerned. The school system came through and provided him with the same

services he had, except for the special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and

interpreter, and a HI teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM

system in both his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a

teacher that was tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up

to do. In 4th grade, the difference was like night

and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the honor

roll every quarter!

's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been interested in

his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable with friends he

knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there has been the

occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we have with our

hearing children and their contact with bullies.

Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's learned to

sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since he's doing well

academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where one on one

socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have noticed about

(he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more self conscious about his

hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that they won't show. We have always

taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but he's entering an age

where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope

things go well with your son and would love to keep in touch with you to hear of

his progress.

Best wishes, Dora

mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing and

married)

angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

(which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

not at interested.

I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

Sincerely,

Angie

(Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Oh Jill,

I so look forward to those years of puberty with my children . Thank goodness

for my daughter (she's the youngest at 9 months) at least it's a long ways off!

I sure appreciate your advice and suggestions. My husband said the same thing

about giving it a try and calling a meeting if there are major concerns. The

sports thing really did influence my thinking a lot I mean we had a team party

at one of the kids parents house after the season and Garrett just wasn't a part

of their group at all. Perhaps he just needs a different setting. He's very

artistic and loves to read, draw, and mold clay and is amazingly talented at all

the above. It's just those are things that you do alone. He also loves video

games - again a solo activity. His closest friend at the old school is one

grade younger and also HI. Unfortunately I was unable to help facilitate that

friendship because of the childs mom being difficult (for lack of a better

word). One of the reasons I actually wanted the move to his home school was to

maybe find some friends more locally and get him away from this boy simply

because the friendship couldn't be supported

outside of school (as much as I would have liked it to).

Anyways, it's always helpful to hear what other people are doing or have done.

It is so hard to know what is best and if we are making the right decisions for

our kids - regardless of any hearing loss :-)

Thanks again!

Angie

JillcWood@... wrote:

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Oh Jill,

I so look forward to those years of puberty with my children . Thank goodness

for my daughter (she's the youngest at 9 months) at least it's a long ways off!

I sure appreciate your advice and suggestions. My husband said the same thing

about giving it a try and calling a meeting if there are major concerns. The

sports thing really did influence my thinking a lot I mean we had a team party

at one of the kids parents house after the season and Garrett just wasn't a part

of their group at all. Perhaps he just needs a different setting. He's very

artistic and loves to read, draw, and mold clay and is amazingly talented at all

the above. It's just those are things that you do alone. He also loves video

games - again a solo activity. His closest friend at the old school is one

grade younger and also HI. Unfortunately I was unable to help facilitate that

friendship because of the childs mom being difficult (for lack of a better

word). One of the reasons I actually wanted the move to his home school was to

maybe find some friends more locally and get him away from this boy simply

because the friendship couldn't be supported

outside of school (as much as I would have liked it to).

Anyways, it's always helpful to hear what other people are doing or have done.

It is so hard to know what is best and if we are making the right decisions for

our kids - regardless of any hearing loss :-)

Thanks again!

Angie

JillcWood@... wrote:

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Oh Jill,

I so look forward to those years of puberty with my children . Thank goodness

for my daughter (she's the youngest at 9 months) at least it's a long ways off!

I sure appreciate your advice and suggestions. My husband said the same thing

about giving it a try and calling a meeting if there are major concerns. The

sports thing really did influence my thinking a lot I mean we had a team party

at one of the kids parents house after the season and Garrett just wasn't a part

of their group at all. Perhaps he just needs a different setting. He's very

artistic and loves to read, draw, and mold clay and is amazingly talented at all

the above. It's just those are things that you do alone. He also loves video

games - again a solo activity. His closest friend at the old school is one

grade younger and also HI. Unfortunately I was unable to help facilitate that

friendship because of the childs mom being difficult (for lack of a better

word). One of the reasons I actually wanted the move to his home school was to

maybe find some friends more locally and get him away from this boy simply

because the friendship couldn't be supported

outside of school (as much as I would have liked it to).

Anyways, it's always helpful to hear what other people are doing or have done.

It is so hard to know what is best and if we are making the right decisions for

our kids - regardless of any hearing loss :-)

Thanks again!

Angie

JillcWood@... wrote:

Angie,

I have to agree with Tish in that only you can say where your son is going

to be best served. If this placement is a disaster (after giving him a little

time to adjust) then call a meeting and request that he be moved back to the

previous setting. The idea is to find his LRE, the use of LEAST in that

acronym doesn't mean the place where he receives the least amount of support.So

if

this placement proves to not be adequately supportive, you request that it

be changed back.

You were enthusiastic about this when the decision was made. Is the sports

experience the only reason for this change of heart?

If so, I would try to give him the opportunity to interact with the hearing

kids in a smaller, less structured group. Our Ian has always been mainstreamed

but he is very ill-at-ease with team sport settings. He plays baseball well

-- his catching ability is actually amazing. But he doesn't like the team

setting at all. He feels he misses out on too much and finds the overall

experience too frustrating. Yet he'll happily play in pick-up games where it's

just

his friends.

Our Ian has always had a small but select circle of friends. Yet when we're

out and about, he is greeted warmly by kids he goes to school with and from

what I can tell he is well liked, perhaps even popular. But according to him,

he is on the outskirts of any and all cliques and yet somehow manages to

maneuver between them all easily. Yes, he is a bit of a loner, but he has also

made some very nice and steady friends.

I'll bet that given the chance, your son can do the same. TO help Ian with

this, I did exactly what I've encouraged you to do. I set up play dates,

places to go and encouraged him to invite a few friends. For Ian, it wasn't a

case

of encouraging him to invite hearing friends, just friends in general. (He

was so very shy!) Now he makes his own places with small groups of friends.

Bowling or movies on Saturdays, that kind of thing.

As for that middle school emotional stage -- I wholeheartedly agree that it

is a difficult time for all kids not matter what else is happening in their

lives. At that age almost every kid is uncomfortable in their own skin. They're

moody, they huff and stomp, wake up on the wrong side of the bed for weeks

at a time, and sleep for hours longer than usual. It's hard to tell normal

puberty from the warning signs for severe depression.

Given that this is the normal state of being for any middle school kid, I'd

have a hard time telling if my son's (or daughter's) lack of interaction was

because of a hearing loss or because they decided that acting the part of the

martyred outcast is the role de jour.

My hearing daughter is currently at this age and I swear that puberty, rapid

cycling manic depression, and demon possession are all plausible

explanations for her mood and behaviors. She greatly enjoys thinking she is

completely

misunderstood. (grin)

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

Sigh. Cancer kids and video games. That is because of the endless time they

spend waiting in clinic, with little to do. A lot of hospitals think

providing video game equipment to entertain the kids somehow makes up for

the endless waits.

Sorry, I don't want to start a video game controversy, but as the mom of a

cancer kid, it is one of my huge pet peeves. My son goes to clinic at a very

famous, very well funded cancer hospital which has all the latest and

greatest electronic equipment in the playroom, but won't soundproof the

playroom. With the result that all those electronic beeps and roars

reverberate around the glassed in walls so no one, even those with normal

hearing, can make out speech. And most of the kids in the playroom are

hearing impaired due to chemo...

Bonnie

>

>

>

> Angie,

>

> One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of

> his

> young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

> playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours.

> (And

> consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

>

> I

>

[Guest guest]

Sigh. Cancer kids and video games. That is because of the endless time they

spend waiting in clinic, with little to do. A lot of hospitals think

providing video game equipment to entertain the kids somehow makes up for

the endless waits.

Sorry, I don't want to start a video game controversy, but as the mom of a

cancer kid, it is one of my huge pet peeves. My son goes to clinic at a very

famous, very well funded cancer hospital which has all the latest and

greatest electronic equipment in the playroom, but won't soundproof the

playroom. With the result that all those electronic beeps and roars

reverberate around the glassed in walls so no one, even those with normal

hearing, can make out speech. And most of the kids in the playroom are

hearing impaired due to chemo...

Bonnie

>

>

>

> Angie,

>

> One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of

> his

> young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

> playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours.

> (And

> consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

>

> I

>

[Guest guest]

Sigh. Cancer kids and video games. That is because of the endless time they

spend waiting in clinic, with little to do. A lot of hospitals think

providing video game equipment to entertain the kids somehow makes up for

the endless waits.

Sorry, I don't want to start a video game controversy, but as the mom of a

cancer kid, it is one of my huge pet peeves. My son goes to clinic at a very

famous, very well funded cancer hospital which has all the latest and

greatest electronic equipment in the playroom, but won't soundproof the

playroom. With the result that all those electronic beeps and roars

reverberate around the glassed in walls so no one, even those with normal

hearing, can make out speech. And most of the kids in the playroom are

hearing impaired due to chemo...

Bonnie

>

>

>

> Angie,

>

> One of Ian's friends -- the one who has been battling cancer for most of

> his

> young life, is a video game fanatic. His mom use to arrange for small

> playgroups -- 2-3 kids max, and the boys would play video games for hours.

> (And

> consume an amazing amount of popcorn)

>

> I

>

[Guest guest]

Dora - where in Indiana do you reside? I live in Valparaiso.

Diane

Re: Mainstreaming Deaf Children

> Hi Angie,

> My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf

elementary kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our

son was in a regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For

that, he went to the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special

instruction from a wonderful HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to

Indiana to a small town where my husband grew up. They had never dealt with

a HI child. Needless to say, we were concerned. The school system came

through and provided him with the same services he had, except for the

special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and interpreter, and a HI

teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM system in both

his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a teacher that was

tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up to do. In 4th

grade, the difference was like night

> and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the

honor roll every quarter!

> 's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been

interested in his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable

with friends he knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there

has been the occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we

have with our hearing children and their contact with bullies.

> Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's

learned to sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since

he's doing well academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where

one on one socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have

noticed about (he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more

self conscious about his hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that

they won't show. We have always taught him that they are nothing to be

ashamed off, but he's entering an age where he doesn't want to be different.

Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope things go well with your son and

would love to keep in touch with you to hear of his progress.

>

> Best wishes, Dora

> mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing

and married)

>

> angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

> 4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

> are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

> deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

> as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

>

> This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

> his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

> Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

> interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

> at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

> (which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

> second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

> deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

> hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

> things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

> difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

> or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

> with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

> may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

> that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

> person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

> misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

> not at interested.

>

> I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

> has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

> insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

> because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

> sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

>

> Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

>

> Sincerely,

> Angie

> (Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Dora - where in Indiana do you reside? I live in Valparaiso.

Diane

Re: Mainstreaming Deaf Children

> Hi Angie,

> My son is also going into the 5th grade. Until 2 years ago he was in a

mainstreamed situation in a public school where all the HI or deaf

elementary kids in the county were bussed. It was a wonderful school and our

son was in a regular classroom with an interpreter except for reading. For

that, he went to the Hearing Impaired Classroom to receive special

instruction from a wonderful HI teacher. Two years ago we moved from NC to

Indiana to a small town where my husband grew up. They had never dealt with

a HI child. Needless to say, we were concerned. The school system came

through and provided him with the same services he had, except for the

special HI classroom. He has speech therapy, and interpreter, and a HI

teacher that comes in an hour each day. He also uses an FM system in both

his hearing aids. His first year was a challenge. He had a teacher that was

tough even with his hearing peers and he had some catching up to do. In 4th

grade, the difference was like night

> and day. He had a wonderful, male, first year teacher and was even on the

honor roll every quarter!

> 's classmates have always seemed to accept him and have been

interested in his hearing loss. He is on the shy side, but is comfortable

with friends he knows. Of course, as we have all encountered in life, there

has been the occasional child that makes fun. We just deal with this as we

have with our hearing children and their contact with bullies.

> Our son, , also communicates orally with us, although, he's

learned to sign at school. I bet your son will do great, especially since

he's doing well academically. Maybe having friends over to your house where

one on one socializing would be possible might help. One thing I have

noticed about (he just turned 11 in April) is that he has become more

self conscious about his hearing aids. He's letting his hair grow so that

they won't show. We have always taught him that they are nothing to be

ashamed off, but he's entering an age where he doesn't want to be different.

Has anyone ever encountered this? I hope things go well with your son and

would love to keep in touch with you to hear of his progress.

>

> Best wishes, Dora

> mother of ,11( SNHL), , 15 (hearing), Nina, 23, (hearing

and married)

>

> angierenae2001 angierenae2001@...> wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help. My

> 4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf children

> are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

> deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as well

> as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

>

> This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

> his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

> Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

> interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

> at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him socially

> (which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

> second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team w/no

> deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by not

> hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids tune

> things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk without

> difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their conversation

> or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

> with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

> may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation (does

> that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an oral

> person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

> misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if he's

> not at interested.

>

> I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation or

> has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

> insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom socially

> because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

> sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

>

> Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

>

> Sincerely,

> Angie

> (Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Angie- I was glad when you wrote in too. It's nice knowing of

someone who can relate more closely to my circumstances. Of course,

we all relate in one way or another, which connects us all together.

This is a wonderfully supportive group.

, also, has stated that he wishes he didn't wear hearing aids

and asks why he was born that way. Yes, it is heartbreaking, but I

feel a twinge just for a moment. My husband reminds me that Josh is

perfect in every way, as he puts it. That, of course, comes from a

parent's heart. However, we have always treated Josh as a 'regular'

child. (I hestitate to use 'regular', but you all know what I mean.)

Some times we forget that he is HI cause we just see him as any

other kid. At night, I have to insist that he take his hearing aids

out because he hates not to hear, even at night. Some nights we

compromise and he'll leave only one in and alternate the next time

with the other ear.

I also keep in mind that hearing kids have things they wish they

didn't have, such as, weight, glasses, zits, hair color, nose size,

etc. I believe children, no matter what, are a gift. I tell

that God has a plan for him. I truly believe that for him and all my

children. It may or may not have to do with the deaf/HI world, but

everyone has a purpose.

I also believe the world is changing favorable toward people with

disabilities and/or differences. It's a great opportunity to educate

those who are interested. Keep in touch! Don't worry about

rambling... I do it ,too. -Dora

> Hi all,

>

> I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help.

My

> 4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf

children

> are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

> deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as

well

> as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

>

> This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

> his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

> Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

> interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

> at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him

socially

> (which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

> second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team

w/no

> deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by

not

> hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids

tune

> things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk

without

> difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their

conversation

> or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

> with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

> may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation

(does

> that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an

oral

> person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

> misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if

he's

> not at interested.

>

> I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation

or

> has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

> insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom

socially

> because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

> sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

>

> Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

>

> Sincerely,

> Angie

> (Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

We have always taught him that they are nothing to be ashamed off, but

he's entering an age where he doesn't want to be different. Has anyone

ever encountered this?

Dora-

We have a kid who *adores* being different! He wears tights (the latest

are shiny pink spandex!) and boxers over them, mis-matched socks over

his tights " So people can see them " and boots or sandals, tie-dye

shirts, has one purple earmold with a red tube and one red earmold with

a purple tube, markers his face regularly, hangs things from his harness

(body-worn processor for his CI), paints his fingernails and toenails

assorted colors, and is growing his hair long enough to ponytail it. He

also does trapeeze, trampoline, tight-wire, rope climbing, rolling

globe, and is working his way up to unicycling (the last two at circus

school, as our unicycles are too tall for him). He's only 5.

Kacy

[Guest guest]

Hi Dora,

Yes, I totally agree, being hearing impaired is such a tiny part of who

someone is. We feel the same way about our Garrett that it's not something we

even think about regularly (his HI). Sometimes when we go out and someone else

is curious about him, it's like suddenly we realize oh yeah, he does wear

hearing aids!

But of course there are the other times where we just worry ourselves to

pieces that they'll be okay and that they feel okay about themselves. But you

know what? I do that with all my kids - they all worry me like crazy! I want

them all to have such wonderful lives.

Talk about God having a purpose, interesting, but when I was a kid I really

admired the actress Marlee Matlin (she's deaf for those of you who aren't

familiar). I wanted to be just like her and wished I was deaf too so I could be

just like her and talk with my hands. Well when I had Garrett and found out

abouit his HI, one of my first thoughts was God gave him to me because I wanted

to be deaf and that wasn't how I was - so here is my gift to open myself up to a

whole new world. Well I'm finally taking advantage of that and going to go to

school to become a certified interpreter for the deaf. I'm so excited - it's

taken me 10 years almost to finally do this but I feel it'll bring me closer to

Garrett as well as my other 2 kids and hopefully they'll learn to sign as well -

if not learn to communicate as best they can with everyone.

Well there I go again! Take care Dora, and everyone, thank you for making the

connection!

Angie

dora_donna dora_donna@...> wrote:

Angie- I was glad when you wrote in too. It's nice knowing of

someone who can relate more closely to my circumstances. Of course,

we all relate in one way or another, which connects us all together.

This is a wonderfully supportive group.

, also, has stated that he wishes he didn't wear hearing aids

and asks why he was born that way. Yes, it is heartbreaking, but I

feel a twinge just for a moment. My husband reminds me that Josh is

perfect in every way, as he puts it. That, of course, comes from a

parent's heart. However, we have always treated Josh as a 'regular'

child. (I hestitate to use 'regular', but you all know what I mean.)

Some times we forget that he is HI cause we just see him as any

other kid. At night, I have to insist that he take his hearing aids

out because he hates not to hear, even at night. Some nights we

compromise and he'll leave only one in and alternate the next time

with the other ear.

I also keep in mind that hearing kids have things they wish they

didn't have, such as, weight, glasses, zits, hair color, nose size,

etc. I believe children, no matter what, are a gift. I tell

that God has a plan for him. I truly believe that for him and all my

children. It may or may not have to do with the deaf/HI world, but

everyone has a purpose.

I also believe the world is changing favorable toward people with

disabilities and/or differences. It's a great opportunity to educate

those who are interested. Keep in touch! Don't worry about

rambling... I do it ,too. -Dora

> Hi all,

>

> I'm rather new to the group but am desperately seeking some help.

My

> 4th grade son has always been at a school where other deaf

children

> are. It's a public school but our local Regional program for the

> deaf and HoH reside there so it has maybe 20 or 30 deaf kids as

well

> as staff that signs and some who are also deaf.

>

> This next school year when he starts 5th grade he will be moved to

> his home school close to us where there are no deaf kids.

> Academically he is capable of this move and he will have an

> interpreter in class. I was all for this decision when it was made

> at his last IEP meeting. Partly because I want to help him

socially

> (which is an area he struggles). However, I'm starting to have

> second thoughts. He just finished the baseball season on a team

w/no

> deaf kids and I observed how much information he missed out on by

not

> hearing the coaches instructions. He's at an age now where kids

tune

> things out anyways so when he's around kids who hear and talk

without

> difficulty he doesn't really try to integrate into their

conversation

> or play, he just does his own thing. I'm picturing him next year

> with no friends and if other kids do try to interact with him they

> may give up because he's not actively seeking that interation

(does

> that make sense?) He wears 2 hearing aids and functions like an

oral

> person (especially at home). But I'm seeing more and more how he

> misses things and doesn't attempt to find out what's going on if

he's

> not at interested.

>

> I know this is lengthy but if anyone has a child in this situation

or

> has had a child in this type of situation I'd love to get some

> insite. I don't want him to end up isolated and not blossom

socially

> because he's unable to communicate well with hearing kids. He does

> sign well, but only uses that w/his deaf friends or teachers.

>

> Thank you in advance for ANY input you may have.

>

> Sincerely,

> Angie

> (Mom to Garrett 9, Ethan 4, and Jordynn 9months.)

>

> __________________________________________________

>