Subject: Update and a little vent *vent is a little political /

[Guest guest]

What a sad......yet inspiring letter.....Thanks for sharing a personal part of your life with us , so that we can become better educated..........I hope that Cat continues to improve so that you and your son don't have to make any life-altering decisions just yet.....but do be prepared for the future...as you said.

Don"t give up hope that the general public and the law makers will soon be able to see past the issues at hand and realize the importance of basic human rights....no matter what sex, color, or life partner one chooses ....it's a personal decision, not Political.

(Just my personal opinion......not meant as a politcal statement.)

HELL.....I remember 38 yrs. ago .......when I had to have MY HUSBANDS "signed consent "..to get my O.B. GYN. to prescribe birth control.........and I just wanted to get fitted for a DIAPHRAM !!.......

Lonewolf/ C.

Hey everyone.today was a so so day. We didn't take Cat off the vent today, the dr said her lungs were just not strong enough yet. I am glad in one way, i don't want to take her off the vent too early and then have to shove that tube down her throat again. I just can't do that to her if i can prevent it by leaving her on until we are sure that she is strong enough to be off of it. In another way it upset me a bit because I miss talking with her so much. i have been writing everything i want to say to her down. i know she will want to know everything and i don't want to lose it to brain fog. so we are in a 24 hour wait and see about the vent.now for my little vent...(vent is a little political at the end, don't read if you are offended by the idea of gay marriage)we had a problem today with Cat's mom. she is a drama junkie and it's about to drive me crazy. after working herself into throwing up all weekend on friday she stayed home for sat and sun. well on sunday she asked if there were any medical decisions to be made. i told her no that Cat's son and i were working together to make the decisions since i had talked with Cat about all of this stuff I know by heart her wishes and our son has legal right to order things. we have been making a great team and everything has gone smoothly. Well she decided this morning that she was going to get out of bed and come over here. when she got here she walked past my dogs in their crate sleeping peacefully (well okay one growled at her when she looked at them) and swore at them. then they went back into our son's room and proceeded to fight in front of him over stupid crap upsetting him and his aide that is like family. once they had everyone here suffiently upset they announced they were going to the hospital. greaaaaaaatso we get to the hospital and i sent our son in first. big mistake. Cat's mom hadn't done the things that i normally do before our son sees her, like smoothing her hair and making sure there is no blood showing from her insulin checks. he was so upset and i felt so guilty for putting him through that. Then i looked on the door and saw that Cat's mom had put up a contact list (i know she did it because it was her writing) with only her number and Cat's sister's number (the woman that hates Cat for being gay and i want her making medical decisions for Cat?? i don't think so)It was a total slap in the face to me and to our son. Thankfully he didn't notice it. our son has cerebral palsy and unfortunately his grandmother believes he is too slow to understand and make these decisions. He's not, yes someone (me) has to explain things slower and in different language to him but he is not stupid or slow. so grandma basically showed up to cause problems. the only thing i kept thinking all day was, if one of us was a man instead of two lesbians we wouldn't be going through this at all. it was the first time in my life i wished i wasn't a lesbian and that i was a straight male so the medical staff would know that i have the most legal right to make decisions and i wouldn't have to constantly assert the fact our son has the legal rights and i know her wishes. it was driving me crazy until i saw her primary dr and her respitory dr. i sat down with both of them and explained what was going on and that i was worried about someone that doesn't know Cat's wishes taking over her medical care. they both assured me that they believe our son and I have the most right and if it came down to conflicting orders from the family they would go with our requests. that helped me so much, one of the dr's said that she had never thought of how hard it would be to know what to do but not be able to do it for a loved one just because of her sex.i told her if we were straight and married none of this would be in question. then i joked that this is why the gay community will never quit fighting for gay marriage. She just said that i had changed her mind about it in our 10 minute talk maybe i should become more publicly active. i just laughed and said that i didn't want to paint a target on my chest for giggles.so i learned some things today. Don't ever let our son in first. The dr's she has are wonderful and i can trust them even more now. and when this is over i am going to scrape together all the pennies we have and get the medical power of attorney written up for her (i don't have this concern with my family because they know my wishes and would defer to Cat anyways because of her medical experience). and that if i say I am following Cat's wishes enough it sounds like a song. and i learned sometimes all someone needs to change thier opinion is to see what it is really like on the other side of the coin._________________________________________________________________