Only in America ~ JOKE KINDA

[Guest guest]

> 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. > 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. > 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. > 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. > 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. > 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. > 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. > 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. > 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. > 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER > Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? > Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? > Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? > Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? > Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? > Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? > Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? > Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? > Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? > When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? > Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? > You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! > Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? > Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? > If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? > If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? > ------------------ > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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