Jackie...

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

It's so good to hear from you! You big meanie. Haha. You're doing just

fine, stop beating yourself up! I can't take it! Of course Jackie is

scared... It doesn't matter " why " , she probably doesn't even really know -

she's just scared! Everybody is scared, and most of us don't know why, we

just are. Some say all negative emotions boil down to fear. I think that's

true. And if it's true for us, it's got to be especially true for small

folk. Fortunately she has you to reassure her, and take care of her.

You're doing fine! She'll end up having so much fun once she gets back into

the swing of things... She's gotten so used to chumming around with Mom, it's

gotta' be hard to let that go for now! But she'll be perfectly fine. And

when it's just too hard for her to go, you'll know, she'll know, and you'll

make that decision then.

I do have ONE suggestion, and maybe you'll think I'm being cruel, others

might too, but you know me! I don't think, if I were she, I would be very

motivated to get up and go if you had already given me my pain medicine and

let me go back to sleep. I don't know how fast acting it is, I assume about

30 minutes... But I think I'd be most motivated to get up and take it,

shower, get dressed, etc., if I knew the pain would diminish about the time I

was getting done getting ready... If I'm taking my meds and crawling back

under the covers, I'm thinkin' I'm not wantin' to go ANYWHERE! I wanna' stay

where it's warm and cozy and I can hide from the world and not face it!

Especially if I've been " hiding " away to some degree for a few months, and

I'm scared of what is out there waiting in the cold cruel world!

Just a thought. I could be off base on the med issue, I'm just throwing that

out there. Whatever you do or don't do though , DON'T be hard on

yourself - no time for that. You're a wonderful Mother with a wonderful

daughter and you'll both be just fine. No need for guilt. What are ya',

Catholic or somethin'?? Haha.

Nice to hear from you !

Peace and Love,

Terry in KC

[Guest guest]

Hey Everyone,

Jackie went back to school Tuesday. She had been out

since the beginning of Sept. I worked Monday night,

all night, then I went to school with her, all day.

Then Wed I went all day with her. She is on four

hydrocodone a day and her anxiety pill at night to

help her with pain and to sleep. Prilosec and

pancrealipase too. Anyways, I told her I would go

with her two days, it was the only way to calm her

enough to go. She has good moments and bad moments,

you all know how she feels. Well, the doc is on me

about her getting back in school. This morn she was

so upset, then I got upset but I also got mean and

made her go (without me). I cannot stop crying and

worrying about her. I do not have her pain...so I do

not know if I am doing the right thing. She just

cannot stay home now what if she gets worse ( I know

she probably will) and she cannot go to school if she

gets worse. I want her to live now while she can

sorta enjoy life. But I am just so worried about her.

She is so scared that she will forget a book or not

make it to class on time. I don't know if she is

telling me the truth about what she is worried about.

She is just so scared to go, that is why I had to go

with her. She just cries and does not want to go.

Well I made her this morning and I feel like my heart

if gonna stop beating. I just cannot stop crying. I

told her to call, I told her to rest in the nurses

office if she needed to. I told her everything I

could to support her. Should I quit my job and go

everyday with her, should I quit my job and homeschool

my children. I stayed home with them until they were

5 and 7. I make good money now and I like to work

(well sometimes) I want to pay for their college and

stuff. I have so much heartache and guilt. Tell me

when will I know if she should not go to school, tell

me if the doc will know. He has told me to get her to

school for a while now but she hurts so bad in the

morning. I wake her up early and give her a pain pill

then let her go back to sleep, then wake her up and

make her go. She has a pain management appt next

week and I hope to God they give her something that

works around the clock. I don't know how much longer

I can take being the tough one in the morning...it is

too hard. She cannot go to school part time, it is

all or nothing around here. Or you get no help from

the school district. She can miss days though and

they will still help, I just need to get her doc to

fill out a paper on that one, which is at his office.

Sorry for venting but I do not have her pain...and you

guys do so I just wanted to know if I am a big meaning

or what. I guess I will get a lot of different

opinions on that one. Jackie is sooooo sweet, I HATE

THIS. I do not know how much more I can take...I want

her to be better. Let me shut up already...thanks for

being here, all of you help me so much.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

- I so understand what you are feeling and how you are feeling.

Trust that you are not being a meany and are in fact helping Jackie. She is

probably suffering the first day of school jitters all over again and we all

know that stress does not help the condition but if she is ever going to be

able to enjoy her life she needs to know that she can function in the real

world on her own - even if it is in a limited way. I know how hard it is to

have to be in your shoes and while my daughter never had CP and (fingers and

toes crossed, eyes too which probably will explain the typos) she had other

ailments and reasons for the same situation. Just know that while it makes

you feel awful to be the wicked witch of the (multiple choice ___ East ____

West ____ North ____ South-because I can't remember where you are at) it

really will help in the long run. So find a pillow, cry some more but only

when your alone, then find a tissue and dry your eyes, stand up straight,

square your shoulders - I think you can see where this is going - and go on

with your own life because your stress is only adding to hers. TTFN,

Jackie...

> Hey Everyone,

> Jackie went back to school Tuesday. She had been out

> since the beginning of Sept. I worked Monday night,

> all night, then I went to school with her, all day.

> Then Wed I went all day with her. She is on four

> hydrocodone a day and her anxiety pill at night to

> help her with pain and to sleep. Prilosec and

> pancrealipase too. Anyways, I told her I would go

> with her two days, it was the only way to calm her

> enough to go. She has good moments and bad moments,

> you all know how she feels. Well, the doc is on me

> about her getting back in school. This morn she was

> so upset, then I got upset but I also got mean and

> made her go (without me). I cannot stop crying and

> worrying about her. I do not have her pain...so I do

> not know if I am doing the right thing. She just

> cannot stay home now what if she gets worse ( I know

> she probably will) and she cannot go to school if she

> gets worse. I want her to live now while she can

> sorta enjoy life. But I am just so worried about her.

> She is so scared that she will forget a book or not

> make it to class on time. I don't know if she is

> telling me the truth about what she is worried about.

> She is just so scared to go, that is why I had to go

> with her. She just cries and does not want to go.

> Well I made her this morning and I feel like my heart

> if gonna stop beating. I just cannot stop crying. I

> told her to call, I told her to rest in the nurses

> office if she needed to. I told her everything I

> could to support her. Should I quit my job and go

> everyday with her, should I quit my job and homeschool

> my children. I stayed home with them until they were

> 5 and 7. I make good money now and I like to work

> (well sometimes) I want to pay for their college and

> stuff. I have so much heartache and guilt. Tell me

> when will I know if she should not go to school, tell

> me if the doc will know. He has told me to get her to

> school for a while now but she hurts so bad in the

> morning. I wake her up early and give her a pain pill

> then let her go back to sleep, then wake her up and

> make her go. She has a pain management appt next

> week and I hope to God they give her something that

> works around the clock. I don't know how much longer

> I can take being the tough one in the morning...it is

> too hard. She cannot go to school part time, it is

> all or nothing around here. Or you get no help from

> the school district. She can miss days though and

> they will still help, I just need to get her doc to

> fill out a paper on that one, which is at his office.

> Sorry for venting but I do not have her pain...and you

> guys do so I just wanted to know if I am a big meaning

> or what. I guess I will get a lot of different

> opinions on that one. Jackie is sooooo sweet, I HATE

> THIS. I do not know how much more I can take...I want

> her to be better. Let me shut up already...thanks for

> being here, all of you help me so much.

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

> Hey Everyone,

> Jackie went back to school Tuesday. She had been out

> since the beginning of Sept. I worked Monday night,

> all night, then I went to school with her, all day.

> Then Wed I went all day with her. She is on four

> hydrocodone a day and her anxiety pill at night to

> help her with pain and to sleep. Prilosec and

> pancrealipase too. Anyways, I told her I would go

> with her two days, it was the only way to calm her

> enough to go. She has good moments and bad moments,

> you all know how she feels. Well, the doc is on me

> about her getting back in school. This morn she was

> so upset, then I got upset but I also got mean and

> made her go (without me). I cannot stop crying and

> worrying about her. I do not have her pain...so I do

> not know if I am doing the right thing. She just

> cannot stay home now what if she gets worse ( I know

> she probably will) and she cannot go to school if she

> gets worse. I want her to live now while she can

> sorta enjoy life. But I am just so worried about her.

> She is so scared that she will forget a book or not

> make it to class on time. I don't know if she is

> telling me the truth about what she is worried about.

> She is just so scared to go, that is why I had to go

> with her. She just cries and does not want to go.

> Well I made her this morning and I feel like my heart

> if gonna stop beating. I just cannot stop crying. I

> told her to call, I told her to rest in the nurses

> office if she needed to. I told her everything I

> could to support her. Should I quit my job and go

> everyday with her, should I quit my job and homeschool

> my children. I stayed home with them until they were

> 5 and 7. I make good money now and I like to work

> (well sometimes) I want to pay for their college and

> stuff. I have so much heartache and guilt. Tell me

> when will I know if she should not go to school, tell

> me if the doc will know. He has told me to get her to

> school for a while now but she hurts so bad in the

> morning. I wake her up early and give her a pain pill

> then let her go back to sleep, then wake her up and

> make her go. She has a pain management appt next

> week and I hope to God they give her something that

> works around the clock. I don't know how much longer

> I can take being the tough one in the morning...it is

> too hard. She cannot go to school part time, it is

> all or nothing around here. Or you get no help from

> the school district. She can miss days though and

> they will still help, I just need to get her doc to

> fill out a paper on that one, which is at his office.

> Sorry for venting but I do not have her pain...and you

> guys do so I just wanted to know if I am a big meaning

> or what. I guess I will get a lot of different

> opinions on that one. Jackie is sooooo sweet, I HATE

> THIS. I do not know how much more I can take...I want

> her to be better. Let me shut up already...thanks for

> being here, all of you help me so much.

>

> :

Don't beat yourself up over this. I was going to college when I had

my last severe attack. They knew my situation and tried to

accomodate me as much as possible if I had to miss. We had a stricter

abscense policy than the HS. Miss two days and you could be dropped

out of the class. I had days wher I had to make myself get up and

go, the nausea and pain were usually worse in the A.M. but I also

realized that it would eventually get better. I tried very hard to

concentrate on my classes and friends and forget about the pity party

and how bad I felt. I learned to focus my attention toward my tasks

at hand and less about me. It didn't happen overnight, but my mom

instilled in all of us a good work ethic and you do what has to be

done. I'm not saying it was a cake walk. It was very difficult at

first and I would count the hours until I could get home to my pain

meds. Then one day I realized I had quit watching the clock. Staying

busy helps, friends, church,help. If I had stayed at home all the

time I would have never gotten out of bed, but against all odds I

graduated from college last year (again) with high honors. It can be

done, it just takes a little time,love and motivation. Prayer always

helps to. I will keep you in mine.

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

,

I think getting her to go to school could be a good idea. It might

help distract her from some of the pain. I've found that when I'm at

work, what I'm doing can sometimes distract me from some of the pain.

I know it's hard, she is your baby. She always will be. If things get

really bad, then you can look into home schooling, but if you can, it's

better for her to be out and about, I think. School is important, it's

where you learn to interact with other people.

Kimber

--

Kimber

hominid2@...

California State Chapter Representative

Pancreatitis Association, International

[Guest guest]

i totaly agree with terry on the med thing...if i

didn't get my butt outta bed and just took my pain

pills and snuggled under my comfortor, there is no way

i'd make it to work...i find i feel so much better

going to work, even though it is soooooo rough...the

pain...the weird looks cause i'm constantly running to

the bathroom etc., but it does get my mind off

thing...if i stayed home i would be dwelling on the

pain and having too many partyies, pity parties that

is LOL...just give her some time...its alot of

adjusting, but i think its the best for her **HUGS to

both of you**

--- roguekc@... wrote:

> Dear ,

>

> It's so good to hear from you! You big meanie.

> Haha. You're doing just

> fine, stop beating yourself up! I can't take it!

> Of course Jackie is

> scared... It doesn't matter " why " , she probably

> doesn't even really know -

> she's just scared! Everybody is scared, and most of

> us don't know why, we

> just are. Some say all negative emotions boil down

> to fear. I think that's

> true. And if it's true for us, it's got to be

> especially true for small

> folk. Fortunately she has you to reassure her, and

> take care of her.

>

> You're doing fine! She'll end up having so much fun

> once she gets back into

> the swing of things... She's gotten so used to

> chumming around with Mom, it's

> gotta' be hard to let that go for now! But she'll

> be perfectly fine. And

> when it's just too hard for her to go, you'll know,

> she'll know, and you'll

> make that decision then.

>

> I do have ONE suggestion, and maybe you'll think I'm

> being cruel, others

> might too, but you know me! I don't think, if I

> were she, I would be very

> motivated to get up and go if you had already given

> me my pain medicine and

> let me go back to sleep. I don't know how fast

> acting it is, I assume about

> 30 minutes... But I think I'd be most motivated to

> get up and take it,

> shower, get dressed, etc., if I knew the pain would

> diminish about the time I

> was getting done getting ready... If I'm taking my

> meds and crawling back

> under the covers, I'm thinkin' I'm not wantin' to go

> ANYWHERE! I wanna' stay

> where it's warm and cozy and I can hide from the

> world and not face it!

> Especially if I've been " hiding " away to some degree

> for a few months, and

> I'm scared of what is out there waiting in the cold

> cruel world!

>

> Just a thought. I could be off base on the med

> issue, I'm just throwing that

> out there. Whatever you do or don't do though

> , DON'T be hard on

> yourself - no time for that. You're a wonderful

> Mother with a wonderful

> daughter and you'll both be just fine. No need for

> guilt. What are ya',

> Catholic or somethin'?? Haha.

>

> Nice to hear from you !

>

> Peace and Love,

> Terry in KC

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi,

It is obvious that you are in a safe place and that you can talk

about your feelings and fears about caring for a child with

Pancreatitis. It is difficult raising any child who has a chronic

illness, but particularly one as painful as this. I am impressed with

the compassion and support I see in the posts.

I know it has been said already, but you are doing a great job with

parenting. It is imperative that we are all pushed to participate as

fully as we can in life while we can. We should all live life as if

tomorrow will come as bright as the sunrise. That, of course, is not

to diminish the philosophy of not taking every day for granted,

either.

For some of the people who are new or may have missed Jackies story,

can you tell us a little of it. How old is she? When was she

diagnosed? And, do they know the cause?

I would like to add it to the list of Child / Adolescent stories on

the home page: http://pancassociation.org/storieshome.html

It could really help other parents.

Good luck and God bless,

Karyn

Karyn E. ,RN/Founder/President

Pancreatitis Association International

/

http://www.pancassociation.org

[Guest guest]

Thanks ,

I do know my stress is bad for everyone in my family

and I am sooooo trying to overcome it. I am feeling a

little better today. Jackie did not make school today

but I am hoping this will not make it harder to go

back Tues. She was hurting so bad. Anyway, I

appreciate your advice and support and I know we will

make it through. Thanks again,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

- you have th right outlook. Keep up the good work and attitude and

you will make it fine. TTFN,

Re: Jackie...

>

> Thanks ,

> I do know my stress is bad for everyone in my family

> and I am sooooo trying to overcome it. I am feeling a

> little better today. Jackie did not make school today

> but I am hoping this will not make it harder to go

> back Tues. She was hurting so bad. Anyway, I

> appreciate your advice and support and I know we will

> make it through. Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>