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Older Woman

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Subject: Older Woman

>

>Next time a cop pulls me over, I'm going to try this.

>

>

>

>An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

>Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

>

>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

>Older Woman: Oh, I see.

>

>Officer: Can I see your license please?

>Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

>Officer: Don't have one?

>Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

>

>Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

>Older Woman: I can't do that.

>Officer: Why not?

>Older Woman: I stole this car.

>Officer: Stole it?

>Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

>Officer: You what?

>Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you

>want to see.

>

>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and

>calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A

>senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

>

>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman

>steps out of her vehicle.

>

>Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

>

>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and

>murdered the owner.

>

>Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

>

>Officer 2: Yes. Would you open the trunk of your car, please.

>

>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

>

>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?Older Woman: Yes, here are the

>registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

>

>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

>license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse

>and hands it to

>the officer.

>

>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

>

>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have

>a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up

>the owner.

>

>Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

>

>Don't Mess With Old Ladies

>

>If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you

>know.

>

>I just did!

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