for Pam

[Guest guest]

Pam, I am sorry for your distress. Make

very sure before you marry that this man would be willing to adopt. That

is an extremely important issue as you know. Are you sure that he won’t

give a firm wedding date because of the child issue. You have already

been pregnant and he hasn’t married you. It might be he doesn’t

want to commit for other reasons. How long have you been living with

him? If you live with him without marriage then why get married?

It sounds like adoption would be a good

option for you. I had two children and didn’t know I had lupus

then. My first child was born so sick she didn’t have much of a

chance to live. The Dr’s told me she would probably die. She

had surgery at 3 days old and was very ill for 5 years. My son was born 4

years later and was ok. Everyone who adopts loves their kids just like

they would their own blood. Why not get in touch with some parents who

adopted, perhaps on the web and ask about their experiences? We have a

mother with that experience on line here too. How old are you

honey? How old is your man? You have a lot of love to give a child

who needs it. Be that mother that he or she needs and fulfill your

dreams. A mom isn’t the egg donor, it is the person who loves educates,

and cares for the child no matter what the hardship!

Cheryl in CA

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>From:

pamelaj6556

Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004

8:43 PM

To: LUPIES

Subject: To All My Lupie

Moms Out There

I just need to vent. I am getting quite discouraged because I fear I

will not be

able to have a child. I have so many health problems

going on,

but really do not want to give up on becoming a mom. I have

been

pregnant 3 times and have had 3 miscarriages. I can't help but

wonder if

God has a plan for me not to be a mom. I know , and I hear

it from

everyone...u can adopt, you want mine? I just really want to

experience

that in my life. Am I being selfish? Do I want to pass any

of my health

problems to a child? My heart problems are hereditory in