RE: To be or not to be is the answer!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Fanney:

You are truly a beautiful inspiration to us all. God Be With You!!

Janie

> To be or not to be is the

> answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

>

>

> Hello my fellow One-listers. How I wish I could use spell

> check, but you will just have to bare with me.

> I have the need to tell my story.

> For many years now I had gained so much weight that I was

> walking with a walker. My BM was 91% when I first came to see Dr R.

> What my life consisted on was going to work, and going home to rest

> until I could go back to work.

> I went to a doctor that has to do with the thyroid, and he told

> me that I was on the edge of death, if I did not do something. He

> told me to go and have a gastric bypass.

> Broken down and feeling less than cero, I started to reasearch

> and try to find a doctor. I could not do the big operation for I

> could not take off many days from my work.

> I found Dr Rutledge, went to a clinic, the 18th of September,

> 1999, and there he told me I was too big for his operation. As I

> fought back my tears he put a challange to me, he told me to loose

> the weight and then have the operation.

> I took the challange, 2 weeks after I had seen Dr.R. I found out

> that my insurance was more than happy to pay for the oparation.

> I started on a diet, oh it was so hard. I finally went to my

> intern and he told me about the Atkins diet. The diet worked well

> for me because I only had to deal with the craving not the hunger.

> You can eat as much of what is allowed, but no carbs.

> Month after month I fought, never giving up, never even cheated.

> On Chrismas, I was like the Rock of Gibraltar. Even on my birthday I

> did not touch my cake. I was fighthing for my life, and the light in

> the end of the tunnel was the surgery.

> Well the pounds started to fall off me, and suddenly I could do

> think, walk, talk and chew gum at the same time.

> It was not easy but doable, and I did it, I triumpth over all

> the bad habits, the feelings that I felt I had to eat away. My human

> spirit won, won the big one.

> For the first time in my life I am so proud of my self, of what

> I have done. I finally learned it stood and fell with me, finally I

> realized that being a victim gets you nowhere.

> Now I kept on loosing weight and sending Dr.R. my progress. As

> the time went on I started to see me in a very different light. I

> have (as all of you)gone on every diet under the sun. I have always

> thougth that I knew me very well. But I started to change slowely,

> steadily. I was gaing strength, strength over the food. I was

> gaining strength over what caused me to eat.

> I also have to tell you that I got sick in beginning of March,

> got strep and the flu,,,,,,,,, I had to go off the protein and on

> carbs, for 3 days, and for the first time in my life I went back on

> my diet, like a clock work, for I was in control. I was no longer

> scared, the food had lost its hold over me.

> In my last letter to Dr R. he wrote me and told me that now it

> was time to have the operation. I fainted million times, went into

> orbit thousand times, and named a star after Dr. R. ( well almost)

> So now my fellow travellers, I am going to have my operation on

> the 6th of April 2000. I have finished my package, hand delivered it

> to Debbie, and bingo, my hard work, my dream, my life is here.

> I have won over years of abusing my self with food, my spirit

> has triumph over all the things I have had to endure as a " fat "

> person in USA or Iceland.

> Dr Rutledge is a very smart man, he put the challange out to me,

> in his gentle way. I took it and ran with it, you see I am a Viking.

> My friend , has already had the operation, and now my

> sister is going to have it also.

> I will be in clinic on May first, I will be late for I have to

> teach that Saturday, you see we are still making up the snowdays.

> To be or not to be is the answer. To exist or not to exist is

> the answer, ergo, To exist is the answer........... and I will exist,

> and I have choicen life over food.

> Ragnhildur Fanney

>

> Ps, I will continue my diet until the day I have my operation.

> The more weight I loose the better it will be for me. I do not feel

> the urge to have the " last " meal, for it is not the last one. The

> only last about the " last " meal is that it will be the last " bad "

> meal. And I have had enough bad meals in my life, I need no more.

> But it will be a long time until I eat and enjoy meat again, :-}

>

>

>

>

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