Rich -- RE: Maureen's Re-birthday too!

[Guest guest]

Dear Rich,

From my heart to yours, thank you for your warm re-birthday greetings, every

word which I treasure. I haven't had a proper chance to thank you 'til now.

Your subject line (Maureen's " Re-birthday " too!), indicates you truly *DO*

understand how things like PSC & liver transplantation -- especially a tx

involving 2 members of one's family at the same time! -- affect e-v-e-r-y

member of the PSCer's family, each in their own, unique way.

At the risk of not being understood, let me attempt to explain, anyway, how

although this is of course a joyous celebration for our family, for me, deep

within my heart, it is also an aching, bittersweet reminder of a horribly

dark, stressful & painful time. If I'm not really careful to prevent it,

then my emotions can whisk me right back in time, & I feel everything all

over again. Year after year, passing of time doesn't do much to dull it.

has his thoughts, too. When we had a private moment, he admitted that

despite his Dad currently doing well, he also realizes, in the big scheme of

things, that given certain statistics & given Jim's post-transplant picture

of multiple malignant melanomas (dermatologist now wants to see Jim every 90

days for the rest of his life) & the likelihood of a colon removal in the

near future, etc, that his dad's medical future is uncertain... but then,

even the healthiest of people can't claim otherwise, not if we all employ a

" you could get hit by a train tomorrow " philosophy of life (we say train in

our family, not truck, because one of Jim's uncles really did die that way,

on his way to work, blinded by the sun. He was seatbelted & died, but his

passenger, who wasn't, was thrown from the truck & lived. But I digress!)

There. Having gotten all THAT ick out (you DID, after all, tell me not to

dwell!), I can also assure you I make EVERY attempt to not " remain " in that

" negative " place, & I slap myself upside the head & thank God for allowing

these 2 guys to BOTH be alive & well. As you said, Rich, I feel the love, &

I count the blessings. As for your words about God burying deep within us

strength sufficient for the difficult moments in our lives, I'll cheerfully

take your word for it & won't debate you, so long as you appreciate how back

then, it didn't " feel " like the strength I possessed for my husband & son &

both daughters (not to mention the friends & all the in-laws & the few

out-laws!) would stretch enough to include sufficient strength for me.

Perhaps if the out-laws weren't so problematic, there would have been just

the right amount of frosting for our cake! ;-)

I'm glad your experiences stretched your definition of family to include

special members of our PSC Support Group. Jim & I feel the same way! How

could we not, as there are so many here who were ( & remain) so helpful,

supportive & understanding with certain burdens.

In Christmas Love,

Maureen ( & Jim)

Maureen's " Re-birthday " too!

Dear friend:

I ought to check this site more often. That way I wouldn't miss

anniversaries like the one you and Jim shared this week. All I can say

is, none of us realize the strength God buries deep within us until

those hopefully rare times when we need to draw on it. Five years of

added blessings! (I won't go into any of the speed bumps you've

encountered since and I hope you don't dwell on them, either.) Just

feel the love.

Earlier this week I mailed my annual Christmas cards, provided by my

transplant center, to the families of liver donors #797 and 799,

wherever they may be. They, and members of this PSC site, have

stretched my definition of family.

Blessings to you and Jim.

Rich in KC

Crohn's, cryptogenic cirrhosis, liver txs 5/2001