Any tips on getting scared toddler to wear her hearing aid?

July 12, 2006

Hello again! I posted here about a month ago when my daughter was

first diagnosed with hearing loss and many of you were so wonderful in

your responses to me as I dealt with the initial shock of finding out

that Lily has a mod/severe loss in her left ear and a profound in her

right. I wanted to write individual responses to everyone and somehow

in the flurry of appointments and the general chaos of life, I never

had a chance to do that. Thanks again to everyone for sharing your

stories- it meant a lot to me.

Just this past Monday, Lily received her earmold and a loaner aid for

her to use until her own hearing aid arrives. The audiologist

calibrated the loaner aid while it was in her ear and it absolutely

terrified her. She was so afraid and was just inconsolable due to the

sounds she was hearing in her ear. As soon as we got out to the car,

Lily yanked the aid out of her ear and has not had it in her ear for

more than a few seconds since Monday. I am trying to be really calm

and soothing when I approach her with the aid, but she runs screaming

from me each time. It just feels so wrong to me to make her do

something she feels so strongly against yet I know she needs the aid

in order to hear. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks for any

ideas you may have for me.

Kriste

Mother to Lily(2) and Charlotte (4)-hearing

July 12, 2006

Kriste-

Try using something that she really likes, that she only has while she

uses the HA **for a few minutes** to start. A friend used a lollipop,

which her kids could have only while sitting at the table (they were

really young). After a few sucks, away went the lollipop and off when

the HA. You can imagine how the kid really was willing to have the HA

again in order to have that treat! It took a very short time for the

kid to realize that the HAs were going to be a lot of fun!

Since your daughter had such a nasty start, she will need some guidance

to see that the HAs aren't always going to sound so nasty, and very

short tries are going to be easier for her to deal with. Is there a

timer that she is used to, or something else that she knows will take a

specific and short amount of time? Cookies in the oven, slowly pouring

water out of a gallon container into the sink, a favorite dance, etc.

will let her see that there is a specific start and stop to the event,

and it is something that you can easily model for her -- put the aid

onto your ear, pour out the water (make sure you use happy/excited

expressions!!), then when the event stops, take off the aid. That way

she can see the start and stop, and will likely be more willing to try

it out herself. Then, once she has done that, she will see that the

aids aren't going to be like when they were callibrated at the audi's

office. And the next time you go in, tell them that you want it done

another way! = )

Kacy

July 13, 2006

Amy- Great ideas. I was all set to try the sleeping trick, but she

woke up before I did this morning. I will try it at naptime today. We

put her real aid on her babies and dolls yesterday after your

suggestion and she liked that.

Sharlene-

" My first reaction to your email - is why in the world would the

audiologist calibrate it while in her ear???? That seems so

insensitive to me - who knows what frightening sounds came out "

See, I thought that it was wrong when it was happening to her but she

did not warn us nor did I know this was not standard procedure! I am

so frustrated with the care we have received in general from our

ENT/Audiologist practice (it is an all-in-one place and I don't have

anywhere else to choose from here in my town). And now that I know

what happened to Lily need not have happened in the first place, I am

just angry. Angry at the audiologist for being so insenstive to my

little girl and at myself for not listening to my instinct that said I

should stop what was scaring Lily. Instead, I let her scream and cry

in my arms and forced her to sit there and take it. Talk about guilt.

Geez, this whole experience has been so hard so far. I wonder if I

will ever be in a place where I feel like I am doing all the right things.

Actually, I would really like to switch audiologists. The audiologist

that we are seeing is the same one we saw when Lily was tiny and she

did not explain to me then there was something potentially wrong with

Lily- she just said that the results of Lily's hearing tests were

" inconclusive " . Now we are kind of stuck with her due to their office

policy- they like to keep patients with the same doctor/audiologist

for all appointments. I understand in their opinion that this is

important for continutity of care and for establishing a relationship

with the care provider. I already made a big stink there by switching

from one ENT to another b/c the first ENT we saw had a nurse hold Lily

down just to check her ears. She has never fought anyone looking in

her ears and that experience scared her to death. I was accused of

" flip-flopping " by the appoinment setter and told that I was not

allowed to switch doctors again. I am afraid I am making a reputation

for myself as a trouble-maker. I just want what is best for my

daughter and I want her treated in a humane and respectful manner- do

you think that I am expecting too much from everyone ?

Kacy- Thanks so much for your ideas. We don't do candy often so it

would be a real treat for her to have a lollipop. I just might try

that one.

Thanks again everyone for listening. I have not connected yet with

any other parents that have a child with hearing loss here in my town.

It is a comforting feeling to know that there are others out there

going through some of this stuff too.

>

> Hello again! I posted here about a month ago when my daughter was

> first diagnosed with hearing loss and many of you were so wonderful in

> your responses to me as I dealt with the initial shock of finding out

> that Lily has a mod/severe loss in her left ear and a profound in her

> right. I wanted to write individual responses to everyone and somehow

> in the flurry of appointments and the general chaos of life, I never

> had a chance to do that. Thanks again to everyone for sharing your

> stories- it meant a lot to me.

>

> Just this past Monday, Lily received her earmold and a loaner aid for

> her to use until her own hearing aid arrives. The audiologist

> calibrated the loaner aid while it was in her ear and it absolutely

> terrified her. She was so afraid and was just inconsolable due to the

> sounds she was hearing in her ear. As soon as we got out to the car,

> Lily yanked the aid out of her ear and has not had it in her ear for

> more than a few seconds since Monday. I am trying to be really calm

> and soothing when I approach her with the aid, but she runs screaming

> from me each time. It just feels so wrong to me to make her do

> something she feels so strongly against yet I know she needs the aid

> in order to hear. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks for any

> ideas you may have for me.

>

> Kriste

> Mother to Lily(2) and Charlotte (4)-hearing

>

July 13, 2006

>

> See, I thought that it was wrong when it was happening to her but she

> did not warn us nor did I know this was not standard procedure! I am

> so frustrated with the care we have received in general from our

> ENT/Audiologist practice (it is an all-in-one place and I don't have

> anywhere else to choose from here in my town). And now that I know

> what happened to Lily need not have happened in the first place, I am

> just angry. Angry at the audiologist for being so insenstive to my

> little girl and at myself for not listening to my instinct that said I

> should stop what was scaring Lily. Instead, I let her scream and cry

> in my arms and forced her to sit there and take it. Talk about guilt.

> Geez, this whole experience has been so hard so far. I wonder if I

> will ever be in a place where I feel like I am doing all the right

things.

>

Hi, I don't have much experience with aids so I can't help you there.

I just wanted to say that in your place I would have done the same

thing. I would have assumed that the aids needed to calibrated while

they were in her ears. They're supposed to be the experts and know

what they're doing. It's hard to find a good audi. I luckily

stumbled upon one when I lived in California. Until I moved to

Connecticut I didn't realize how lucky I was. I'm still looking for

one I like here. Good luck.

Cheryl

July 13, 2006

Kriste, it sounds like while this office may have a great audi and doctor,

that somehow they are so rigid in their rules that you won't ever find out. You

may want to try somewhere else, even if it means a bit of travel. I work with

doctors and there usually isn't that kind of policy in force. Really sounds

overly controlling to me. One of the female cardiologists I work with has a

huge female practice and the newer doc in the group is tall dark and handsome.

She gets really ticked when the women patients want to switch to him! But the

patient is allowed to see whichever doctor they want. There is a new young

female (attractive)cardiologist and the male patients love her, though one told

me she made his heart beat too fast! We are in a big town that people come to

for medical care from about a 100 mile radius. We go to an audiologist in a much

smaller town that is 45 minutes from here. We were lucky in that our first

audie is also our favorite, but we have worked with quite a few. We go to a

doctor in one practice and an audiologist in private practice. They were

together and that's how we got with those particular folks. All the audies in

the doctors practice have kids that go to my child's school, one in the same

class and I do feel a little weird NOT using them but we all get a long ok so I

don't let it bother me.

In GA, there is a website for UNHS - universal newborn hearing screening. It is

part of our state dept of public health. They have a list of audiologists who

consider themselves to be pediatric and they also tell you what equipment they

have in their office. Maybe your state has something like that. You may want

to try a children's hospital or a school for the deaf, or an oral school or

Auditory Verbal Center. They usually have audiologists on staff that know how to

do kids.

I'm feeling your pain - scared toddlers aren't quite rational are they! Maybe

try putting it in her ear without turning it on for a while. in GA

July 13, 2006

- Thanks for your reply. I agree that this practice is overly

controlling. Actually, I meant to respond to you in my post from a

month ago that I am in Tallahassee. If I remember correctly, you

mentioned that you have family here. Was that right? Anyway, I guess

we could travel to Gainesville or to ville to try out different

doctors. It is just tough to travel like that on a limited income (I

am staying home for the time being).

>

> Kriste, it sounds like while this office may have a great audi and

doctor, that somehow they are so rigid in their rules that you won't

ever find out. You may want to try somewhere else, even if it means

a bit of travel. I work with doctors and there usually isn't that

kind of policy in force. Really sounds overly controlling to me. One

of the female cardiologists I work with has a huge female practice and

the newer doc in the group is tall dark and handsome. She gets really

ticked when the women patients want to switch to him! But the patient

is allowed to see whichever doctor they want. There is a new young

female (attractive)cardiologist and the male patients love her, though

one told me she made his heart beat too fast! We are in a big town

that people come to for medical care from about a 100 mile radius. We

go to an audiologist in a much smaller town that is 45 minutes from

here. We were lucky in that our first audie is also our favorite, but

we have worked with quite a few. We go to a doctor in one practice

and an audiologist in private practice. They were together and that's

how we got with those particular folks. All the audies in the doctors

practice have kids that go to my child's school, one in the same class

and I do feel a little weird NOT using them but we all get a long ok

so I don't let it bother me.

>

> In GA, there is a website for UNHS - universal newborn hearing

screening. It is part of our state dept of public health. They have a

list of audiologists who consider themselves to be pediatric and they

also tell you what equipment they have in their office. Maybe your

state has something like that. You may want to try a children's

hospital or a school for the deaf, or an oral school or Auditory

Verbal Center. They usually have audiologists on staff that know how

to do kids.

>

> I'm feeling your pain - scared toddlers aren't quite rational are

they! Maybe try putting it in her ear without turning it on for a

while. in GA

>

July 13, 2006

Lakeshore makes play hearing aids and glasses to put on one of their lines

of dolls! You might want to get one for her. They're cute.

>

> Amy- Great ideas. I was all set to try the sleeping trick, but she

> woke up before I did this morning. I will try it at naptime today. We

> put her real aid on her babies and dolls yesterday after your

> suggestion and she liked that.

>

> Sharlene-

> " My first reaction to your email - is why in the world would the

> audiologist calibrate it while in her ear???? That seems so

> insensitive to me - who knows what frightening sounds came out "