Zach's assessment

[Guest guest]

Hubby and I got into it again yesterday about Zach. This whole thing

started about the spinning question I asked yesterday. His claim is

that Zach may be a little behind, but he thinks all this hubub is

blown out of proportion. He does not believe Zach has any permanent

disabilities and that he'll catch up and be fine. He says that I am

always looking for reasons he's sick, and that most 'normal' kids do

these things too, that it's just his age. So, I wanted to see if

truly I was just making more of it than it was. I called the

OT/Speech and asked them to send me their most recent evaluation of

him. They sent me a summary of where he was a month ago, and now.

These are based on age. They use the Hawaii Early Learning Profile.

Fine Motor: 56% delay: 31% delay *improvement

Cognitive: 36% delay: 21% delay *improvement

Communication: 50% delay: 38% delay *improvement

Self Help: 47% delay: 55% delay *fallen behind

Personal-Social: 36% delay: 38% delay *fallen behind

After reading all the material they sent, he still said it's all

based on his worst performances and not his best, therefore

inaccurate.

Banging my head against the wall.

[Guest guest]

does Zach have a dx? I can't remember.

This is very common among our hubbies, especially with sons, most especially

with first or only sons. There's NOTHING WRONG with MY SON. They go

through the greiving process in a very different way than women do. They

generally take a lot longer to accept that there's a problem at all, and

they usually leave it to us to take care of the therapies and evaluations

and knowledge.

Of course I have no knowledge of your own personal situation. These are

only broad generalizations. But I hoped it would be helpful for youto know

that most of us here have gone through thte same thing with our husbands.

{{{hugs}}} Hang in there. You're doing what you need to do for Zacha nd

that's the important thing.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

i'm sorry for your husband teresa. and sorry for you having to deal with this

on your own. he'll figure it out eventually. nobody wants to believe their

child has a disability. not acknowledging it isn't doing your child any favours

though.

michelle mg

[Guest guest]

Well, you could tell him it obviously wasn't based on his worst performance

or he wouldn't have shown any improvement.

Hang in there, eventually he'll have to quit denying it.

Sue

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 2/14/03 2:47:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shanley_n_teresa@... writes:

> His claim is that Zach may be a little behind, but he thinks all this hubub

> is

> blown out of proportion. He does not believe Zach has any permanent

> disabilities and that he'll catch up and be fine.

If you look back about a year ago I swear I posted the exact same kind of

thing about my husband. It will take time. Once he sees improvement he will

be ok. My husband now is ok with everything. Even though he's still half in

denial.

[Guest guest]

Ugh. So sorry. It can really take men alot longer to see and understand

sometimes. Jeff was the one who told me Alec was autistic. I was the one who

said Greggory was. I was the one who suggested BP for Alec. Jeff suggested ADHD

for Alec. It took a little while for Jeff to accept that Greggpory really was

autistic. (or is) but he did and so there is hope.

Jacquie H

Zach's assessment

Hubby and I got into it again yesterday about Zach. This whole thing

started about the spinning question I asked yesterday. His claim is

that Zach may be a little behind, but he thinks all this hubub is

blown out of proportion. He does not believe Zach has any permanent

disabilities and that he'll catch up and be fine. He says that I am

always looking for reasons he's sick, and that most 'normal' kids do

these things too, that it's just his age. So, I wanted to see if

truly I was just making more of it than it was. I called the

OT/Speech and asked them to send me their most recent evaluation of

him. They sent me a summary of where he was a month ago, and now.

These are based on age. They use the Hawaii Early Learning Profile.

Fine Motor: 56% delay: 31% delay *improvement

Cognitive: 36% delay: 21% delay *improvement

Communication: 50% delay: 38% delay *improvement

Self Help: 47% delay: 55% delay *fallen behind

Personal-Social: 36% delay: 38% delay *fallen behind

After reading all the material they sent, he still said it's all

based on his worst performances and not his best, therefore

inaccurate.

Banging my head against the wall.

[Guest guest]

Sara, It is interesting that you should say this about dads and

sons. As a longtime kdg. and first grade teacher, I have had to have

a few conversations with parents about children being developmentally

immature and possibly not ready for the academics and structure in

class. Dads always take it well if it is their daughter, but LORDY,

the reaction was often different if it was their son. We kdg.

teachers laughed and said you could almost see the dad's grabbing

their crotch and protecting their manhood! LOL " MY son? Immature!??

Outrageous! " It was like you were saying that they themselves were

not manly or something. Mothers, on the other hand, rarely reacted

poorly. They always knew. They would say, " Yes, he or she walked

later than my friends kids or talked later. Yes, I agree. " But

often not the dads. Finally found a way to phrase it to dads. We

would tell them that their son just needed to be red shirted like

they do on college teams and that he would benefit from being the

oldest, largest and most mature male " on the team. " They liked

that! LOL MEN!

[Guest guest]

Thats funny. Jeff isnt like this at all. Hmmmmm......

Jacquie H

Re: Zach's assessment

Sara, It is interesting that you should say this about dads and

sons. As a longtime kdg. and first grade teacher, I have had to have

a few conversations with parents about children being developmentally

immature and possibly not ready for the academics and structure in

class. Dads always take it well if it is their daughter, but LORDY,

the reaction was often different if it was their son. We kdg.

teachers laughed and said you could almost see the dad's grabbing

their crotch and protecting their manhood! LOL " MY son? Immature!??

Outrageous! " It was like you were saying that they themselves were

not manly or something. Mothers, on the other hand, rarely reacted

poorly. They always knew. They would say, " Yes, he or she walked

later than my friends kids or talked later. Yes, I agree. " But

often not the dads. Finally found a way to phrase it to dads. We

would tell them that their son just needed to be red shirted like

they do on college teams and that he would benefit from being the

oldest, largest and most mature male " on the team. " They liked

that! LOL MEN!

[Guest guest]

> Thats funny. Jeff isnt like this at all. Hmmmmm......

Jeff is a pretty special guy.

-Sara.