Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 Buster never ever asks for help with anything. Unless of course, he's really, really hurt. If he wants a drink and you aren't serving him, he will go to the faucet and drink from the faucet. If he's hungry, he gets on his chair put the tray on himself and waits for you to notice, if you don't he drops the tray and comes back in a few minutes and does it again. He is very into doing things himself. If you try and help him at times he will push you away. Does this seem extreme? It does to me, and I don't know how to get him to interact rather than just act. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 He is very into doing things himself. If you try and help him at times he will push you away. Does this seem extreme? It does to me, and I don't know how to get him to interact rather than just act. > Asking for help is too hard for him. Putter was very much like this, even now he is inclined to come to me bearing a big bottle of coke that he wants poured into a cup. His school got him saying " Help " and " I want.... " some years ago. I think most would agree that if he has ANY speech at all the only way to go is to refuse to acknowledge anything he has done until he has asked for it verbally. If he has no spontaneous language, then he can echo. If he has no echo, then perhaps he can sign or even make a sound, any sound (we can get very basic if we have to) or perhaps he can use PECS or sign for it. But don't give it to him free and make it so he can't do it on his own if possible. Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 >> Asking for help is too hard for him. Putter was very much like this, even now he is inclined to come to me bearing a big bottle of coke that he wants poured into a cup. << Buster will tear the cap off and drink it. He's very determined. >> even make a sound << This I will have to try. He says very few sounds but after the bathtub incident he " oo-oo " in the tub for the water. >> But don't give it to him free and make it so he can't do it on his own if possible. << I wish it were, it's kinda hard to lock the sink, lol. But we have tried to make it as hard as possible for him to just get things for himself, I guess I got some work to do. Thanks again, debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 Oh, another thing I wanted to say, he used to come for help. He'd come and touch my arm, which at least was an interaction, but I think that while he was at his mother's he was left to fend for himself a lot, so he lost that. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 > > But don't give it to him free and make it so he can't do it on his own if > possible. > I was going to answer this, but Salli allready said what I was going to say, so I will just say " what Salli said " . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 > But don't give it to him free and make it so he can't do it on his own if > possible. We tried this with and he learned to walk up to us and scream when he wanted something. But that was the only indication he would give us. It was rather frustrating. I didn't have it in me to wait out all the tantrums. He had enough of them without my causing any more. But it is still good advice. Perhaps just wasn't ready yet, or perhaps we were doing something wrong. You can hand-over-hand sign " help " with him and then take him in and get him what he wants. You can set up opportunities for him to need help - like putting something he wants up high. Of course you will have to stop Mr. Independant's climbing attempts, put him on the floor, sign help, and then hand it to him. Our kids often have no idea what language is for. Not only do they not understand it, it doesn't even have a purpose for them. Like Hellen Keller feeling her family's mouths opening and closing -- why did they do that? And so we have to teach them, step by step, doing it hand-over-hand over and over and over again until that lightbulb moment happens. I hope that makes some sense. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 > We tried this with and he learned to walk up to us and scream when > he wanted something. But that was the only indication he would give us. It > was rather frustrating. > It is. > I didn't have it in me to wait out all the tantrums. None of us do. I missed plenty of chances to force speaking because I was just too tired. But I also caught a lot of chances. I did my best and so probably did you. He had enough of them > without my causing any more. > LOL, yes indeed. > But it is still good advice. Perhaps just wasn't ready yet, or > perhaps we were doing something wrong. Oh, none of them are ready. That's the whole problem. But the younger the child the harder this may be. > > You can hand-over-hand sign " help " with him and then take him in and get him > what he wants. Yes. That is great advice. In fact, you will not be signing until you hand over hand. But some kids don't like hand over hand... You can set up opportunities for him to need help - like > putting something he wants up high. Of course you will have to stop Mr. > Independant's climbing attempts, put him on the floor, sign help, and then > hand it to him. Yup. > > Our kids often have no idea what language is for. Not only do they not > understand it, it doesn't even have a purpose for them. Like Hellen Keller > feeling her family's mouths opening and closing -- why did they do that? > And so we have to teach them, step by step, doing it hand-over-hand over and > over and over again until that lightbulb moment happens. > > It gets better though. I remember thinking that if it took this kind of effort to teach Putter stuff how on earth was he ever going to learn what he needed to know. I mean, there I was just 18 months ago going nuts because Putter had said " leaf. " I felt a sense of helplessness over all the labels in the world and he didn't even know there were different kinds of leaves. The school was REALLY excited when I told them that though. They had taught him " leaf " that day and could not believe he was generalizing so fast. I just didn't know enough about autism to know that he was doing pretty well. And eventually it does snowball, at least it did for Putt, and they are picking up things so fast you can hardly believe it. Not social stuff though. Why would Putter want to socialize? Salli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 >>Why would Putter want to socialize? << Buster is actually doing better at some socialization. He *gasp* is looking at people, which he didn't do before. Quite shocking, actually. Of course, he wants to socialize and that may be a motivating factor, but he's just at a loss of what to do. And, of course, he doesn't want anyone to interfere. LOL. Well, ya'll have given me some good advice to chew on and try out. I don't feel so lost now. I appreciate all of your input. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 Sounds like at 3. He also would push a chair over to the pantry, pull out a box of crackers and just stand there eating until he was noticed. His ST siad we should lock everything so he would ask for food instead, she thought we could make him talk. It didn't work too well. Now that he's older and verbal I can stop him and remind him to use his words. Tuna >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Buster never ever asks for help with anything. Unless of course, he's really, really hurt. If he wants a drink and you aren't serving him, he will go to the faucet and drink from the faucet. If he's hungry, he gets on his chair put the tray on himself and waits for you to notice, if you don't he drops the tray and comes back in a few minutes and does it again. He is very into doing things himself. If you try and help him at times he will push you away. Does this seem extreme? It does to me, and I don't know how to get him to interact rather than just act. debbi >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ===== You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - lin P. ______________________________________________________________________ Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 RE: Thoughts > Oh, another thing I wanted to say, he used to come for help. He'd come and touch > my arm, which at least was an interaction, but I think that while he was at his > mother's he was left to fend for himself a lot, so he lost that. Debbi, I wonder if he has to relearn to trust that if he comes to someone for something, they'll help him? I like Salli's idea of using PECS or signing. Signing worked for when he was non verbal. He was only about 2 1/2 at the time. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 >>I wonder if he has to relearn to trust that if he comes to someone for something, they'll help him? << I must say that this may be true. He's come a long way from the little boy we saw 3 months ago at the park, perhaps this is just the last thing he has to get over (or one of the last). It took him almost 2-1/2 months to find the table again, I'm hoping he never remembers the kitchen counters, though. LOL. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2003 Report Share Posted February 8, 2003 >> He also would push a chair over to the pantry, pull out a box of crackers and just stand there eating until he was noticed. << Our pantry is locked already. There's absolutely nothing like finding a brand new box of cereal on your kitchen floor to change that. debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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