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>these things i could handle. i would not expect my children - especially

rowan, to do so.

That would be my MAIN area of concern. How would handle someone coming

into the home with a LOT of issues and needs right off the bat. I'm not

sure he could handle sharing my attention to the extent that would be

necessary, and I don't want to take anything away that he needs.

> on the other hand, it may be wonderful for you. eric is quite high

functioning and has a level of independence that means you would have

additional time to devote to another child. i know eric craves a sibling.

i know that it would dangerous for you to provide him with one in the

conventional way. i know this little girl would certainly be lucky to have

you for a mum!

>

Aw, thanks! And DOES crave a sibling -- but I don't know how he'd feel

about a grown one just coming and taking up residence. Especially one with

so many needs.

> i would definitely suggest you try fostering and see how that fits with

your family. that would be a good way of " sampling adoption " without the

permanent no turning back factor. just my humble opinion.

>

That's a good idea, . I've turned down the whole idea of fostering

before, because I didn't think I could handle giving the children back...but

I think if I wanted to actually adopt, I'd better foster first.

Jacquie

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> Regardless of the decision you make, I hope you will pat yourself on the

> back and feel good about just entertaining the idea of adopting a special

> needs child. I think that is an extraordinary thing to do. You must have

> an enormous heart.

Me? Oh, no. Believe me, my reasons are completely selfish. I've always

wanted more than one child. Birth is no longer a reasonable option. Babies

cost too much to adopt -- and I'm not willing to go down the

no-sleep-smelling-like-puke route again. Once was enough for me, thanks.

(turns out I don't like babies all that much, LOL) I KNOW autism. I know

I can DO autism. So adopting an autistic kid, or kid with autistic-like

behaviours, is logically the best thing to do!

It's nice of you to think of me as altruistic and wonderful, but I have to

disabuse you of that one. :-)

Jacquie

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Thanks, everybody, for anwering this hypothetical question and giving me so

many things to think about -- important things, things I'd missed or

wouldn't have thought of!

Marc discovered I'd been thinking about this again, and we sat and talked

about it and agreed that until he finds a new job and we move the hell away

from this village, we should just put the adoption/fostering issue on a back

burner. No fair bringing an ASD kid into a new environment, new school, new

everything -- and then MOVING and forcing them to go through it all over

again!

So now I have lots of time to mull over all the wonderful points you guys

brought up before I'm even in a position to make a decision -- it worked out

wonderfully.

Thanks so much!

Jacquie

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