Re: Having another baby after your autistic kids...

January 28, 2003

Autism has made me a better person, mother, friend and wife. It's opened me

up to more then I ever imagined.

>

If I had a halfway decent husband I would have considered a sixth.

Salli

January 28, 2003

>

> Hijacking the thread here for a minute. I can't stand people that do

shit like this. I breastfed 3 children without issues. Here I am on my 4th

child, who has a milk allergy. Guess what happened yesterday morning. I ran

out to get Formula and I had this nasty little women behind me that

mentioned she didn't understand how anyone could feed thier child that crap.

I lost it. I had very little sleep and almost no patients.

People really do need to SHUT UP! No one knows the circumstances of a

perfect stranger.

Geez...

Salli

January 29, 2003

>

> Can you use NFP or is that also considered birth control?

>

She's as Catholic as you and I, Sara.

Salli

January 29, 2003

> You know the other thing that bugs me about this attitude is the

> perceived idea that somehow people with ASD and/or other disabilites

> are a lesser person, that person of different abilities is less

> worthy of respect or lacking in humanity.

Thank you, !

Salli

January 31, 2003

" There is a high probability of having another with Autism "

Can anyone tell me what the odds are?

January 31, 2003

On my Catholic list we were just talking about stupid & rude comments people

make about our family size, and someone said her response is, " I view my

children as blessings, not burdens. "

is pretty darn autistic, though I honestly don't know if anyone

*could* call him mild, moderate, or severe at this point...and Gabe is

definitely having issues. And I'm due in May. So what? It's my life. I'm

sure not asking THEM for any help, now am I?

People are stupid.

I haven't had any comments from strangers yet, though I expect they'll start

up with #3, but we got a whole bunch of them from " friends " when we got

pregnant with Gabe. " Again? " " Already? " " On purpose? " My dad's response

to the news of my current pregnancy was, " Shit. " Gee, thanks.

Anyway. Yeah, people are stupid.

-Sara.

January 31, 2003

In a message dated 1/31/03 4:00:28 PM Eastern Standard Time, mother@...

writes:

> " you know most people don't have more children once they have one Autistic

> Child " " There is a high probability of having another with Autism "

I find that a strange sentence too. Aren't there only three of us on this

board with only one child?

Should we take a poll?

January 31, 2003

>

> > I have 2 autistic children, one moderate, one severe. I also have an

> > 11 month old. Have you ever had anyone tell you you were nuts for

> > having another child? I have had people in stores tell me this.

>

> I am absolutely appalled at what complete strangers feel comfortable

> shooting their mouths off about.

You know I am absolutely stunned that people say these kinds of things

to strangers (or even friends) as well!

I think I would be tempted to make up a story (or lie in other words)

to shut these people up good. For instance how about this for Leigh

to say:

" Yes, I wasn't expecting to have any more babies but you know, my

brother and his wife were killed in a horrific plane crash, and we

were left to care for their only child. I just hope I can teach him

the love and compassion that my brother and sister-in-law wanted

instilled in him while I also raise my own children with their

challenges of being Autistic. " and then burst into tears (even fake

ones) and walk away. And leave those complete morons to stew in their

shame.

For the people who crushed Jacquie at a very difficult point in her

life I would have liked to say. " Oh, I so wish I could have breastfed

him, but I had to have a double mastectomy due to breast cancer and my

breasts are implants now. I'm almost at my 5 year remission point,

and I'm just praying that the cancer doesn't come back in another

place and that I can live to raise this child " And then burst into

tears and try to get the baby to start crying too. ;-/

Or maybe just have a sign ready to hold up into a person's face that

simply reads " SHUT UP!!! "

(sigh) Sorry for going on like this. It's just one of my things. I

hate people like this!!!!

~ Karin

January 31, 2003

I've heard 30% and 25%.

> " There is a high probability of having another with Autism "

>

> Can anyone tell me what the odds are?

January 31, 2003

Everyone thinks I am nuts, then again I have 7 of them. Never heard anyone say

stuff like that to someone with 3 kids though

Georga Hackworth

Men. Can't live with 'em...can't trade 'em in for their weight in chocolate.

Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549

Having another baby after your autistic kids...

I have 2 autistic children, one moderate, one severe. I also have an

11 month old. Have you ever had anyone tell you you were nuts for

having another child? I have had people in stores tell me this. I

just said, " no more nuttier than you are " and walked off. I know my

mom thought I was crazy. My hubby's mom was estatic, her first

grandchild.

Just curious,

Leigh

January 31, 2003

My BIL made the comment once " When are you not pregnant? " My husbands family

has always been rather supportive, mine hasn't. Total strangers are even worse.

Georga Hackworth

Men. Can't live with 'em...can't trade 'em in for their weight in chocolate.

Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549

RE: Having another baby after your autistic

kids...

On my Catholic list we were just talking about stupid & rude comments people

make about our family size, and someone said her response is, " I view my

children as blessings, not burdens. "

is pretty darn autistic, though I honestly don't know if anyone

*could* call him mild, moderate, or severe at this point...and Gabe is

definitely having issues. And I'm due in May. So what? It's my life. I'm

sure not asking THEM for any help, now am I?

People are stupid.

I haven't had any comments from strangers yet, though I expect they'll start

up with #3, but we got a whole bunch of them from " friends " when we got

pregnant with Gabe. " Again? " " Already? " " On purpose? " My dad's response

to the news of my current pregnancy was, " Shit. " Gee, thanks.

Anyway. Yeah, people are stupid.

-Sara.

January 31, 2003

Out of curiousity Georga. How on earth do you go anywhere as an entire

family? Do you guys own a bus?

Debbie

Re: Having another baby after your autistic

kids...

My BIL made the comment once " When are you not pregnant? " My husbands

family has always been rather supportive, mine hasn't. Total strangers

are even worse.

Georga Hackworth

Men. Can't live with 'em...can't trade 'em in for their weight in

chocolate.

Enter to win $50 worth of free books www.ubah.com/F1549

RE: Having another baby after your

autistic kids...

On my Catholic list we were just talking about stupid & rude comments

people

make about our family size, and someone said her response is, " I view

my

children as blessings, not burdens. "

is pretty darn autistic, though I honestly don't know if

anyone

*could* call him mild, moderate, or severe at this point...and Gabe is

definitely having issues. And I'm due in May. So what? It's my

life. I'm

sure not asking THEM for any help, now am I?

People are stupid.

I haven't had any comments from strangers yet, though I expect they'll

start

up with #3, but we got a whole bunch of them from " friends " when we

got

pregnant with Gabe. " Again? " " Already? " " On purpose? " My dad's

response

to the news of my current pregnancy was, " Shit. " Gee, thanks.

Anyway. Yeah, people are stupid.

-Sara.

January 31, 2003

> Leigh,

> I was 4 weeks away from giving birth to Adeline and had the

developmental ped say to me " you know most people don't have more

children once they have one Autistic Child " " There is a high

probability of having another with Autism "

>

> I was upset by it but now thinking back I should have said

something. He was only doing his job but I was already in a horrible

pregnancy health wise and could have dealt with him not saying anything.

THAT WAS NOT HIS JOB!!!! (sorry for yelling, but this pisses me off!)

How dare he say that to you at all, but even moreso by saying that to

you when you were about to give birth! That's the kind of comment

that can *set off* a good bout of post-partum depression! What an

idiot.

You know, if people out there think they can in any way suggest who

should be born and who shouldn't, who should bear children and who

shouldn't; then why don't we just have another Nazi State? That's

exactly the kind of thinking Hitler purported!

Sickening.

~ Karin

January 31, 2003

>

> Hijacking the thread here for a minute. I can't stand people that

do shit like this. I breastfed 3 children without issues. Here I am

on my 4th child, who has a milk allergy. Guess what happened

yesterday morning. I ran out to get Formula and I had this nasty

little women behind me that mentioned she didn't understand how anyone

could feed thier child that crap. I lost it. I had very little sleep

and almost no patients. Usually I let crap like this slide. I turned

around and started in on her. " Excuse me, but I'm not deaf and you

know nothing about my family. I have sucessfully breastfeed 3

children, my 4th has a severe allergy to milk and was not gaining

weight. Not that it's any of your business but I can't stand when

know it all people tell other's what should happen with their lives "

The lady looked at me and said she was sorry. I didn't say anything

and just turned around. The walmart cashier just said thank you. I'm

sure I'm the talk of that womens day.

WOO HOO!!! Good for you! Maybe she will learn something and never say

something like that again!

> Then again breastfeeding in public has also brought unwarrented

remarks from people. That is the only other time in my life I got

nasty with someone over this issue.

You know, I was just waiting for the day someone would say something

to me about breastfeeding in public... just waiting for the chance to

throw all my thoughts at them at once. No one ever did. And I never

got a chance to go to a breastfeeding " sit-in " either. Bummer.

LOL.

~ Karin

January 31, 2003

Well I don't know now that Karin pointed out how rude it is, I guess you can

take it that way. I just took it as him pointing out a fact. This guy seems to

lack some real social skills but he's suppose to be one of the top developmental

peds in New York state. Some have hated this man and other's like it. I thought

he did his job and did it well..

Re: Re: Having another baby after your autistic

kids...

In a message dated 1/31/03 4:00:28 PM Eastern Standard Time, mother@...

writes:

> " you know most people don't have more children once they have one Autistic

> Child " " There is a high probability of having another with Autism "

I find that a strange sentence too. Aren't there only three of us on this

board with only one child?

Should we take a poll?

January 31, 2003

I just don't know where these people get off making comments to complete

strangers. Or even to friends.

I have a child with autism. I had already decided I wouldn't have more

children given how difficult my pregnancy was, and that the

perinatologist predicted the next would be the same. However, Jordan's

autism just hardened my stance on that decision. Whenever I start to

waver, I think about the 4 months of hospital bedrest and the chances of

having another autistic child (potentially worse than Jordan) ... and I

decide all over again to " stand pat " with my twins.

That said ...

I would never judge another person's decision on having children. I may

not agree with their choice. But that is my prerogative ... just as it

is their right to make their own decisions (and not agree with my

choices).

I just can't stand people who must force their points of views on

others. It's just plain rude.

Debbie, standing pat with twins ;-)

January 31, 2003

What you choose in regards to your family size is nobodies business

buy yours and your husbands. We have five in the house and one grown

and married. We've heard all the standard comments and several

more. To the ones that said I'm glad it isn't me, we just agreed

with them and sometimes added that babies should be wanted and not

thought of as burdens. Don't worry about what folks think. Enjoy

your babies and the blessings.

January 31, 2003

You know the other thing that bugs me about this attitude is the

perceived idea that somehow people with ASD and/or other disabilites

are a lesser person, that person of different abilities is less

worthy of respect or lacking in humanity. This whole train of

thought galls me to no end and often leads to soap box dissertations

on my part. Other folks thinking that they have the right to play

God, just where does it end? Where do you draw the line? It's a

mighty sippery slope once you start down it.

stepping down of her soapbox before she gets really into it.

January 31, 2003

I agree, but I bet you knew that.

-Sara.

> You know the other thing that bugs me about this attitude is the

> perceived idea that somehow people with ASD and/or other disabilites

> are a lesser person, that person of different abilities is less

> worthy of respect or lacking in humanity. This whole train of

January 31, 2003

AMEN!!!! This is exactly how I feel.

Jacquie H

Re: Having another baby after your autistic

kids...

You know the other thing that bugs me about this attitude is the

perceived idea that somehow people with ASD and/or other disabilites

are a lesser person, that person of different abilities is less

worthy of respect or lacking in humanity. This whole train of

thought galls me to no end and often leads to soap box dissertations

on my part. Other folks thinking that they have the right to play

God, just where does it end? Where do you draw the line? It's a

mighty sippery slope once you start down it.

stepping down of her soapbox before she gets really into it.

January 31, 2003

Very true !

Re: Re: Having another baby after your

autistic kids...

AMEN!!!! This is exactly how I feel.

Jacquie H

Re: Having another baby after your

autistic kids...

You know the other thing that bugs me about this attitude is the

perceived idea that somehow people with ASD and/or other disabilites

are a lesser person, that person of different abilities is less

worthy of respect or lacking in humanity. This whole train of

thought galls me to no end and often leads to soap box dissertations

on my part. Other folks thinking that they have the right to play

God, just where does it end? Where do you draw the line? It's a

mighty sippery slope once you start down it.

stepping down of her soapbox before she gets really into it.

January 31, 2003

YEAH! Way to go!!!