Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Hi Jenni, First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I had an ep in July of 99 and had to have my rt.tube removed. I was very angry for a long time and for quite awhile after I kept asking why me too. I had to have ovualtion induction to get pg and thought getting pg was gonna be the hardest part never did I fathom that I would get pg and then lose the baby. I know even though your happy for your best friends it is hard for you to completely reveal in their happiness. Things are gonna get better but it will take time. Sure there will be days when you will still get depressed(I still have my days when I cry and it is over 2 years now)but my dh always said after the ep that we hit rock bottom and there is no where else to go but climb back up and thinking about it he was right--not too often I say that . I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that everything will go smoothly when you have your surgery in Nov. and that you heal asap so that you can get back on the road ttc shorty thereafter. Please take care. Love Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Hello, My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy about 1 year ago. In june i had to have my left tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to see if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in my right side and i have to have surgey on nov 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what they are going to find. And i cry all the time i want to have a baby so bad that it hurts. my two best friends called and told me that they are having a baby. I am happy for them but i am crying as they are telling me . it is not fair. i feel why should i live since my life is falling apart. I just want to know why me??? Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no friends who understan what i am going thru jenni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2001 Report Share Posted October 8, 2001 Jenni, I know there are no words that will make it better. Just know you're not alone and that there are many people here sending you prayers and hugs. Don't give up yet, even on days like today. The frustration of being happy for those you love and at the same time resentful...wondering why it can't be you, is sometimes just too much emotion to handle. I think I have mine completely under control and then something comes up to completely push my triggers. Last week my good friend had a baby. I kept her 17 month old for a couple of days while they were in the hospital. When I went up to see the baby I was ok, but by the time I got home I just crashed. The combination of being thankful they had a healthy baby, but sad that it wasn't mine, the added daily draw of taking care of their toddler on top of my dh being out of town the days I was fertile..was just too much emotional overload. Sometimes you just want to kick the wall and then sob cause your foot hurts! No one understands till they've been there. Not even our husbands as much as they may try, or our families as much as they may want to....but there are a lot of us around here who do know, take a little comfort in that. Hugs and prayers for better days, Marci m/c 9/95 Lily 4/23/98 Noah~ ep 3/28/00 ttc 15 months > Hello, > My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy about 1 year ago. In june i had to have my left tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to see if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in my right side and i have to have surgey on nov 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what they are going to find. And i cry all the time i want to have a baby so bad that it hurts. my two best friends called and told me that they are having a baby. I am happy for them but i am crying as they are telling me . it is not fair. i feel why should i live since my life is falling apart. I just want to know why me??? > > Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no friends who understan what i am going thru > > jenni > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2001 Report Share Posted October 9, 2001 Jenni, All of us here understand what you are going through. I have many friends who seem to have babies without any problem. You often wonder why me? I have asked that question many times and so has my husband. I have had two ectopics in my left tube. This tube is probably no good. We will probably do a laporoscopy to see if it is totally blocked. What kind of surgery are you having 11/30? Are they planning on removing your tube if blocked? Is this laporoscopy? This site has really helped me. Even if I do not feel much like writing I just read and it helps alot. Thanks, Wen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2001 Report Share Posted October 9, 2001 Jenni, Many of us can relate to the emotions you are experiencing. It is so hard when there are few people around who really understand - but now you have us! We do understand and that will really help you through this. Don't feel guilty about feeling upset to hear of others' pregnancies - it is natural and we all feel that way. What kind of surgery are you having? Terri P.S. My hsg after my ectopic showed a blockage on the opposite side...while the ectopic side is still open, my dr. feels it is 'diseased' and won't function normally. I'm seeing a specialist at the end of this month to discuss options. --- Steve Kriel skriel@...> wrote: > Hello, > My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy > about 1 year ago. In june i had to have my left > tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to > see if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in > my right side and i have to have surgey on nov > 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what > they are going to find. And i cry all the time i > want to have a baby so bad that it hurts. my two > best friends called and told me that they are having > a baby. I am happy for them but i am crying as they > are telling me . it is not fair. i feel why should i > live since my life is falling apart. I just want to > know why me??? > > Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no > friends who understan what i am going thru > > jenni > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2001 Report Share Posted October 9, 2001 oh jenni, I am soo sorry. It really does hurt a lot. You will find amazing understanding and support here. My friends all have kids or are pg and I know that feeling, " I am happy for them, sad for me " ... As for asking why me?? I never really ask that, I mean, why not me?? I feel like we all have our " stuff " to bare and it could always be worse... it's just how i look at it. I have a friend who just turned 32, she is not married and just found out she has breast cancer... she is remarkable... I think of her and lots of others and realize that I am lucky... But, it took losing my tube and two babies and almost dying to realize all of this....i am alive and so my glass is half full. Hey this doesn't mean that I don't get negative or down because I do... and these ladies here can attest to that. These women have saved my life over and over again in the past year. You WILL be ok, it DOES get better... I PROMISE you this... share with us whatever you need to.... we truly do understand ... Lots of prayers for you, lisa r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2001 Report Share Posted October 9, 2001 Jenni: I'm hoping all goes well for your upcoming surgery. I don't know much about blockage, but will be hoping it is minor and can be easily fixed. I'm sure you're very scared, but please know that you will always have this group to help you through the rough times. They have been wonderful and I don't know what I would have done without them! ~Kim _______________________________________________________ Send a cool gift with your E-Card http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.