Dealing with Painful Feelings

[Guest guest]

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Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. We

can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings

appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times

when we felt powerless. Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may

punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these

feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to " get even, " or we may

manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the

situation. These actions may give us a temporary feeling of

satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain.

    Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not

have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun

as feeling happy/ they are, still, just feelings. We can surrender to

them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt

feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to

devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's

something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with

our life. We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish

others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt

feelings with others.. That brings relief and often healing to them and

to us. Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from

allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power

comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel

emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible

for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

Today, I will surrender to my feelings, even the emotionally painful

ones.. Instead of acting in haste, or attempting to punish someone,or

punish myself by stuffing my hurt feelings down with food. I will be

vulnerable enough to feel my feelings.