Jill--drs complaints and whining!

[Guest guest]

Jill,

We all have days we need to whine--I have mine, too. I am not all that strong.

Actually, I am sitting here crying as I type. I am so tired of cancer and so

tired of this whole mess. I wish I were stronger. I guess I thought that after

RAI, my life would return to normal. And today it finally hit that " cancer " is

never going to go away--I will always worry about scans and reoccurrence and

having to do this again and what scans will show and salivary gland problems

etc. etc. And sometimes life seems utterly unfair! But there are other days

where the sun seems to be shining. On days like today I just plan on going back

to bed! Somedays I can't deal with all the anxiety and not knowing what to do

about it. I wish it were as simple as " I can't do anything about it, don't

worry. " But I don't seem to have that ability--not now, anyway.

I am sorry to hear about everything you're going through! I had the same

questions and it took me actually calling the hospital and asking their

regulations (about what I could take in and out etc) because my old endo was a

total fruit-basket. One banana shy of a split if you know what I mean! Anyway,

I called the hospital and very calmly told them I wanted to know what to pack.

And also asked about post-RAI instructions. I decided to eliminate my endo from

the equation because he was too much of an idiot to care. Now I have a new endo

and he's great--really--about answering questions. I really like him--so they

are out there. You just have to be patient and find a good one. And I found

mine in-between surgery and RAI . . . talk about a miracle! That is not a good

time to try to find a doctor. Anyway, I notice he still has the attitude that

this isn't real cancer and RAI isn't really all that bad. Yeah, like I said in

an earlier email--I'd like to stick all those endo's in an isolation booth for

three days, starve them of iodine, make them nuts from hypo, then give them a

good dose of poison that kills salivary glands . . . I think they'd be preaching

a different tune when they got out. Because, although survivable, this is not

fun or easy or at all " a piece of cake " . Sorry . . . I'm supposed to be

encouraging you . . . hey, Jill . . . this is great . . . piece of cake . . .

everything about RAI and scans are fun. :-) Hope you get the sarcasm--but also

hope you know next week will come and go. I am confused--you're getting a scan?

Then RAI? Or have you had RAI and this is a scan to see if you need it again?

As for throwing in the towel . . . you know how often I wanted to do that. It's

not worth it. It's really not. Take a deep breath and try to get the

information elsewhere . . . try where you're going to be isolated. You might

find good people there. Your endo was extremely rude . . . I just want to

validate that for you . . . and his comments were inappropriate!

beth