worried about teachers thinking I'm not taking proper care of my child

[Guest guest]

It seems as tho you all resolved the misunderstanding earlier...just

take note kris, this has nothing to do with you and those children in

your classroom...I just wanted to comment on the worries of the

other parents...cuz I've had those same worries last year with my

son's teacher. My son's preschool teacher used to act concerned

about " what was going on at home " . She basically thought that some of

his behaviors were not due to his autism but rather something going

on in the home. It was so stressful for me and todd because nothing

bad was going on in the home. We were trying so hard all the

time...giving our whole lives over to and helping him and

everything. It got to the point where I ended up going in and talking

to her about it. She mellowed out after that..but I would still get

an occasional note home telling me his fingernails were too long and

stuff like that. For some reason, s fingernails grow faster

than any fingernails i've ever seen in my life! and cutting them at

that time in his life was HORRIBLE. He fought it like mad. So, I

ended up sending a pair of clippers in for her to cut them. LOL.

[Guest guest]

> OMG Karin how I agree with you about how people just don't get it

> about autism. I finally this past week got up the nerve to tell some

> of the teachers I work with about Will's autism and most of the

> reactions I got were " Well, they can still learn , can't

> they ? "

Yes, but it does require just a teensy bit more effort... I mean, it IS a

disability.

" Oh doesn't that mean they are really smart ? "

Well, mental retardation is a pretty common dx along with autism, what is

it, 70% or something. Of course I don't think the MR is true most of the

time and I think it is due to the difficulties in testing but the fact is

that whatever your innate ability might be, it is your performance that

really counts.

So many people think it means the kid is smart; it's those splinter skills

and savant abilities, and obsessions. Those are real and can sometimes be

the start of a future career, but there are many many problems to get over

first.

and then

> they just go on and on about their NT chilldren's

> accomplishments...

Of course, they don't have much else to talk about, not having really

interesting kids the way we do.

and I just want to go somewhere and hide from all

> the world !!!

This gets better, , much much better. I enjoy talking about Putter and

feel a bit sorry for others who do not have a Putter in their life.

Salli

[Guest guest]

you know? ppl don't understand how you have to give up your whole

life to help your child. it's not anything like what " NT mothers of

NT children " this lady at church told my mom " oh, i watched that

show on autism, and isn't it great that they are capable of

learning? " my mom replied " what's so great about it, the parents

have to sacrifice their whole lives to make these miracles happen "

ppl just don't understand. I think special ed teachers may be some

of the worst critics, I don't know that for a fact......all I do know

is (as Jacquie pointed out to me) it goes from being 6.5 hours a day

to 24/7. If you don't live it, you don't understand. Salli, how did

I do on that one? Did that make sense??

> It seems as tho you all resolved the misunderstanding

earlier...just

> take note kris, this has nothing to do with you and those children

in

> your classroom...I just wanted to comment on the worries of the

> other parents...cuz I've had those same worries last year with my

> son's teacher. My son's preschool teacher used to act concerned

> about " what was going on at home " . She basically thought that some

of

> his behaviors were not due to his autism but rather something going

> on in the home. It was so stressful for me and todd because nothing

> bad was going on in the home. We were trying so hard all the

> time...giving our whole lives over to and helping him and

> everything. It got to the point where I ended up going in and

talking

> to her about it. She mellowed out after that..but I would still get

> an occasional note home telling me his fingernails were too long

and

> stuff like that. For some reason, s fingernails grow faster

> than any fingernails i've ever seen in my life! and cutting them at

> that time in his life was HORRIBLE. He fought it like mad. So, I

> ended up sending a pair of clippers in for her to cut them. LOL.

[Guest guest]

> all I do know is (as Jacquie pointed out to me) it goes from being

> 6.5 hours a day to 24/7. If you don't live it, you don't

> understand. >>

Kris,

This is almost exactly what I said to a friend last night...the

enlightenment that comes when one goes from therapist who " works

with " these kids to the parent who lives with them...I understand

things I only thought I understood before---if you don't live it, you

don't know what it is like.

On the upside of that...I think it's making me a better therapist, ya

know? Those of us who experience this from both sides of the fence

are in a unique position to really help people, I think.

Raena (who would've killed for a *normal* name as a kid, and

thinks " Kris " is quite pretty...)

[Guest guest]

> than any fingernails i've ever seen in my life! and cutting them at

> that time in his life was HORRIBLE. He fought it like mad. So, I

> ended up sending a pair of clippers in for her to cut them. LOL.

ROFL!!! I LOVE IT!!!

So, did she???

I cut Mikey's in his sleep. It literally is the only way I can get it done.

Even with Matt to hold him down while I cut, he still moves too much & I end

up cutting into the quick or cutting the end of his finger. NOT WORTH IT.

So he has long nails until I remember and he is deeply asleep at the same

time, LOL.

His teacher hasn't said anything, though. But she's been teaching autistic

kids for 10 years, so...

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Raena (love that name too), and you know? it's kinda like the

bible. the more you read and study about things, the more you know

you don't know............i have a stupid 4 year degree in special ed

and 1/2 of my master's done (had to take a break, you know kids), and

the more i study and learn, the more i don't know.......

What kind of therapist are you, do you give out freebies? should i

just shoot myself now and spare the world? ha ha kidding.

Kris

> > all I do know is (as Jacquie pointed out to me) it goes from

being

> > 6.5 hours a day to 24/7. If you don't live it, you don't

> > understand. >>

>

> Kris,

>

> This is almost exactly what I said to a friend last night...the

> enlightenment that comes when one goes from therapist who " works

> with " these kids to the parent who lives with them...I understand

> things I only thought I understood before---if you don't live it,

you

> don't know what it is like.

>

> On the upside of that...I think it's making me a better therapist,

ya

> know? Those of us who experience this from both sides of the fence

> are in a unique position to really help people, I think.

>

> Raena (who would've killed for a *normal* name as a kid, and

> thinks " Kris " is quite pretty...)

[Guest guest]

good teacher. :-) :-D

> His teacher hasn't said anything, though. But she's been teaching

autistic

> kids for 10 years, so...

>

> -Sara.

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

but I would still get an occasional note home telling

me his fingernails were too long and stuff like that.

For some reason, s fingernails grow faster than

any fingernails i've ever seen in my life! and cutting

them at that time in his life was HORRIBLE. He fought

it like mad. So, I ended up sending a pair of clippers

in for her to cut them. LOL.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Good idea. I have to cut 's nails when he's

asleep.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

She truly is. We are blessed. The school itself really sucks and I have

serious issues with the administration, but the teacher does her best with

what she has and does not begrudge Mikey all the 1:1 time he needs.

-Sara.

> good teacher. :-) :-D

[Guest guest]

> it's not anything like what " NT mothers of

> NT children " this lady at church told my mom " oh, i watched that

> show on autism, and isn't it great that they are capable of

> learning? " my mom replied " what's so great about it, the parents

> have to sacrifice their whole lives to make these miracles happen "

> ppl just don't understand.

Thank you for saying this! You just put into words what has been

bugging me for the last week. Everyone in my life (friends and

family) have been telling me about all the morning shows and news

shows with the item on Autism with the lady from India who has made

amazing strides with her son. I watched one of the 60 minutes about

it and it was incredible. But I noticed that she said she quit her

career as a Chemical Engineer and devoted herself to reaching what

appeared to me to be her severely Autistic son. It was working! He

can communicate and he is very intelligent. But in the show she goes

everywhere with him and NEVER LETS UP! She is constantly talking in

his ear, telling him to stop his stimming, erasing his letters and

making him write better, making him communicate. I was impressed and

also disheartened. I can not do this. When Kris said I was a

" naturalistic " person (or whatever the term was). She nailed it.

Jake is only 3 years old so maybe I'll increase my efforts in the

future, but right now, I just can't stay on him 24 hours a day to get

him to speak. I enjoy watching him do his little routines and babble

throughout the house. He seems happy and that makes me happy.

Everyone around us thinks that the cure has just been found and I

should be jumping for joy and contacting that woman so I can do

everything the way she did it. :/

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

> everywhere with him and NEVER LETS UP! She is constantly talking in

> also disheartened. I can not do this. When Kris said I was a

> " naturalistic " person (or whatever the term was). She nailed it.

Oh, ditto ditto ditto.

> Jake is only 3 years old so maybe I'll increase my efforts in the

> future, but right now, I just can't stay on him 24 hours a day to get

> him to speak. I enjoy watching him do his little routines and babble

> throughout the house. He seems happy and that makes me happy.

And again.

> Everyone around us thinks that the cure has just been found and I

> should be jumping for joy and contacting that woman so I can do

> everything the way she did it. :/

Screw 'em. If they want to come over and nag Jake 24-7, let them do it.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>

> > Jake is only 3 years old so maybe I'll increase my efforts in the

> > future, but right now, I just can't stay on him 24 hours a day to

get

> > him to speak. I enjoy watching him do his little routines and

babble

> > throughout the house. He seems happy and that makes me happy.

I totally agree with you!! When taylor was little i was very stressed

about him being so withdrawn...i think i over did it...it wasn't

until i relaxed...let him be more...did he start to relax and

interact more.

[Guest guest]

Karin, don't forget.....you ARE doing everything possible for your

child, there's just too many different theories.........glad you made

it home safe!! Kris

> > learning? " my mom replied " what's so great about it, the parents

> > have to sacrifice their whole lives to make these miracles

happen "

> > ppl just don't understand.

>

> Thank you for saying this! You just put into words what has been

> bugging me for the last week. Everyone in my life (friends and

> family) have been telling me about all the morning shows and news

> shows with the item on Autism with the lady from India who has made

> amazing strides with her son. I watched one of the 60 minutes about

> it and it was incredible. But I noticed that she said she quit her

> career as a Chemical Engineer and devoted herself to reaching what

> appeared to me to be her severely Autistic son. It was working! He

> can communicate and he is very intelligent. But in the show she

goes

> everywhere with him and NEVER LETS UP! She is constantly talking in

> his ear, telling him to stop his stimming, erasing his letters and

> making him write better, making him communicate. I was impressed

and

> also disheartened. I can not do this. When Kris said I was a

> " naturalistic " person (or whatever the term was). She nailed it.

> Jake is only 3 years old so maybe I'll increase my efforts in the

> future, but right now, I just can't stay on him 24 hours a day to

get

> him to speak. I enjoy watching him do his little routines and

babble

> throughout the house. He seems happy and that makes me happy.

>

> Everyone around us thinks that the cure has just been found and I

> should be jumping for joy and contacting that woman so I can do

> everything the way she did it. :/

>

> ~ Karin

[Guest guest]

>

OMG Karin how I agree with you about how people just don't get it

about autism. I finally this past week got up the nerve to tell some

of the teachers I work with about Will's autism and most of the

reactions I got were " Well, they can still learn , can't

they ? " " Oh doesn't that mean they are really smart ? " and then

they just go on and on about their NT chilldren's

accomplishments...and I just want to go somewhere and hide from all

the world !!! (mom to Will 4 ASD)

[Guest guest]

> Of course, they don't have much else to talk about, not having really

> interesting kids the way we do.

ROFL!!!!!!!

Is THAT why all I talk about is and autism? ;D

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>

> Well, mental retardation is a pretty common dx along with autism,

what is

> it, 70% or something. Of course I don't think the MR is true most

of the

> time and I think it is due to the difficulties in testing

Agree 100%!!!

> and then

> > they just go on and on about their NT chilldren's

> > accomplishments...

>

>

> Of course, they don't have much else to talk about, not having really

> interesting kids the way we do.

LOL!!!! :-D

> This gets better, , much much better. I enjoy talking about

Putter and

> feel a bit sorry for others who do not have a Putter in their life.

Great attitude and thank you for saying things like this. Really

helps me with mine!

I'm so glad there's a Putter too (and a Salli). He makes my day so

much more interesting just hearing about him. :-)

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

and just incase i didn't mention, i love all of you all. really.

> >

> > Well, mental retardation is a pretty common dx along with autism,

> what is

> > it, 70% or something. Of course I don't think the MR is true most

> of the

> > time and I think it is due to the difficulties in testing

>

>

>

> Agree 100%!!!

>

>

>

> > and then

> > > they just go on and on about their NT chilldren's

> > > accomplishments...

> >

> >

> > Of course, they don't have much else to talk about, not having

really

> > interesting kids the way we do.

>

>

> LOL!!!! :-D

>

>

>

> > This gets better, , much much better. I enjoy talking about

> Putter and

> > feel a bit sorry for others who do not have a Putter in their

life.

>

>

> Great attitude and thank you for saying things like this. Really

> helps me with mine!

>

> I'm so glad there's a Putter too (and a Salli). He makes my day so

> much more interesting just hearing about him. :-)

>

> ~ Karin

[Guest guest]

I tell my husband about Putter.

In fact, I compared one of the girls to Putter the other day. I said something

to the effect of " She is just like Putter, only female. " I know didn't

get it. He hasn't read all the Putter stories that I have.

All I can say is that autism makes life interesting.

told me that I should do some Erma Bombeck writting only about living with

Autism. I can only imagine how *that* would come across. LOL! I still don't

think that people would get it and I am afraid that I could not do it at this

point only because I am still mad at a lot of people in the medical community

because they would not listen to me and help when I asked for it. At any rate,

I don't think people would get it even after that.

Georga Hackworth

Enter to win $50 worth of free books

www.ubah.com/F1549

Re: Re: worried about teachers thinking I'm not

taking proper care of my child

> OMG Karin how I agree with you about how people just don't get it

> about autism. I finally this past week got up the nerve to tell some

> of the teachers I work with about Will's autism and most of the

> reactions I got were " Well, they can still learn , can't

> they ? "

Yes, but it does require just a teensy bit more effort... I mean, it IS a

disability.

" Oh doesn't that mean they are really smart ? "

Well, mental retardation is a pretty common dx along with autism, what is

it, 70% or something. Of course I don't think the MR is true most of the

time and I think it is due to the difficulties in testing but the fact is

that whatever your innate ability might be, it is your performance that

really counts.

So many people think it means the kid is smart; it's those splinter skills

and savant abilities, and obsessions. Those are real and can sometimes be

the start of a future career, but there are many many problems to get over

first.

and then

> they just go on and on about their NT chilldren's

> accomplishments...

Of course, they don't have much else to talk about, not having really

interesting kids the way we do.

and I just want to go somewhere and hide from all

> the world !!!

This gets better, , much much better. I enjoy talking about Putter and

feel a bit sorry for others who do not have a Putter in their life.

Salli

[Guest guest]

Yes, I have a very very very good mother. I couldn't make it without

her. Kris

>

> > learning? " my mom replied " what's so great about it, the parents

> > have to sacrifice their whole lives to make these miracles

happen "

>

>

> You have a GOOD MOTHER.

>

> Not many grandparents can accept the realities so quickly. You are

lucky!

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Georga,

I think you should write a book like that, even if only parents of spectrum

kids get it! After all, who needs humor more than us??

Sue

[Guest guest]

> All I can say is that autism makes life interesting.

> told me that I should do some Erma Bombeck writting only

about living with Autism. I can only imagine how *that* would come

across. LOL! I still don't think that people would get it and I am

afraid that I could not do it at this point only because I am still

mad at a lot of people in the medical community because they would

not listen to me and help when I asked for it. At any rate, I don't

think people would get it even after that.

>

People with only NT kids probably wouldn't, but the teachers (that

really understand) parents and siblings would.

I think you have a lot of talent for finding humor in situations that

would have me in tears. But your life is hectic enough, write it if

you feel like it. Bottom line is, the vast majority of writers never

get published, but if this is something you enjoy and something you

would benefit from, then do it. If it would seem too much like work

and you don't want to do it, then don't. Life's too short

I hope that made ANY sense at all. It's after midnight and I'm still

over 300 message behind and it doesn't look like I'm going to catch

up tonight. I've got to go fall into bed. I have to work tomorrow.

Tina

[Guest guest]

> learning? " my mom replied " what's so great about it, the parents

> have to sacrifice their whole lives to make these miracles happen "

You have a GOOD MOTHER.

Not many grandparents can accept the realities so quickly. You are lucky!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> told me that I should do some Erma Bombeck writting only about

living with Autism. I can only imagine how *that* would come across. LOL!

I still don't think that people would get it and I am afraid that I could

not do it at this point only because I am still mad at a lot of people in

the medical community because they would not listen to me and help when I

asked for it. At any rate, I don't think people would get it even after

that.

>

Parents of autistic kids would get it!

And there are a lot of us.

Jacquie