Re: I am so sad

October 9, 2001

Jenni,

I am glad you found us and I hope you find this group helpful to you. There are

alot of great women here who know how you feel. It is a horrible thing that

brought us all together, but I have found some really great friends here. I am

very sorry for your loss and all you are going through. I know it is very hard

for others to understand. I lost my baby and rt tube Dec. 00. and asked myself

a million times, why me??? It is so unfair!! Post whenever you like. Please

take care.

Steve Kriel skriel@...> wrote: Hello,

My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy about 1 year ago. In june i

had to have my left tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to see if

everything was okay, but i have a blockage in my right side and i have to have

surgey on nov 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what they are

going to find. And i cry all the time i want to have a baby so bad that it

hurts. my two best friends called and told me that they are having a baby. I am

happy for them but i am crying as they are telling me . it is not fair. i feel

why should i live since my life is falling apart. I just want to know why me???

Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no friends who understan what i

am going thru

jenni

October 9, 2001

Wen,

Thank you for the words of hope. Yes there are going to do laporoscopy on

the 30th. I don't know what they are going to do with the tube. My doctor

did tell me if it was bad they could take it out and fix it and pt it back

in agian. I am so worried as what they are going to find. I am so sorry

that you had to go thruo 2 of them. If you need to talk please post.

Jenni

Re: I am so sad

> Jenni,

> All of us here understand what you are going through. I have many friends

who

> seem to have babies without any problem. You often wonder why me? I have

> asked that question many times and so has my husband. I have had two

> ectopics in my left tube. This tube is probably no good. We will

probably

> do a laporoscopy to see if it is totally blocked. What kind of surgery

are

> you having 11/30? Are they planning on removing your tube if blocked? Is

> this laporoscopy?

> This site has really helped me. Even if I do not feel much like writing I

> just read and it helps alot.

>

> Thanks,

> Wen

>

October 9, 2001

Sheila,

Thank you for your thoughts I am so sorry that you had a ep in 99. Thank

you for understanding what I am going thur. My husband was reading all of

the responds that I got from those of you who wrote to me. And on some I

started to cry and he just held me and said it will get better. I just feel

that I have no one who can relate to this I am glad that I have you guys. I

hope we can become good friends.

Jenni

Re: I am so sad

> Hi Jenni,

>

> First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I had an ep in July of 99 and

had

> to have my rt.tube removed. I was very angry for a long time and for

quite

> awhile after I kept asking why me too. I had to have ovualtion induction

to

> get pg and thought getting pg was gonna be the hardest part never did I

> fathom that I would get pg and then lose the baby. I know even though

your

> happy for your best friends it is hard for you to completely reveal in

their

> happiness. Things are gonna get better but it will take time. Sure there

> will be days when you will still get depressed(I still have my days when I

> cry and it is over 2 years now)but my dh always said after the ep that we

hit

> rock bottom and there is no where else to go but climb back up and

thinking

> about it he was right--not too often I say that . I will be keeping you

in

> my thoughts and prayers that everything will go smoothly when you have

your

> surgery in Nov. and that you heal asap so that you can get back on the

road

> ttc shorty thereafter. Please take care.

>

> Love

> Sheila

>

October 9, 2001

Kim,

I am hoping that things go well for me. I don't know what they are going to

find. I am glad that i have people who I can talk to you

jenni

Re: I am so sad

> Jenni:

>

> I'm hoping all goes well for your upcoming surgery. I don't know much

about

> blockage, but will be hoping it is minor and can be easily fixed. I'm

sure

> you're very scared, but please know that you will always have this group

to

> help you through the rough times. They have been wonderful and I don't

know

> what I would have done without them!

>

> ~Kim

>

> _______________________________________________________

> Send a cool gift with your E-Card

> http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/

>

October 9, 2001

Terri,

I have haveing a laporoscopy done. I wish you well when you see a specialist

I hope you will find answers. I don't know all of you but I am sure we have

alot of love to share with children if only we could have them now.

I feel that I am being selfish since i should be happy for those who are

expecting but in a way i do.

jenni

Re: I am so sad

> Jenni,

> Many of us can relate to the emotions you are

> experiencing. It is so hard when there are few people

> around who really understand - but now you have us! We

> do understand and that will really help you through

> this. Don't feel guilty about feeling upset to hear

> of others' pregnancies - it is natural and we all feel

> that way.

> What kind of surgery are you having?

> Terri

>

> P.S. My hsg after my ectopic showed a blockage on the

> opposite side...while the ectopic side is still open,

> my dr. feels it is 'diseased' and won't function

> normally. I'm seeing a specialist at the end of this

> month to discuss options.

>

> --- Steve Kriel skriel@...> wrote:

> > Hello,

> > My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy

> > about 1 year ago. In june i had to have my left

> > tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to

> > see if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in

> > my right side and i have to have surgey on nov

> > 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what

> > they are going to find. And i cry all the time i

> > want to have a baby so bad that it hurts. my two

> > best friends called and told me that they are having

> > a baby. I am happy for them but i am crying as they

> > are telling me . it is not fair. i feel why should i

> > live since my life is falling apart. I just want to

> > know why me???

> >

> > Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no

> > friends who understan what i am going thru

> >

> > jenni

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

>

October 10, 2001

Jenni,

I am glad your dh read some of the posts....I know after I joined my dh did too

and I think it helped him better understand what I was going through and that it

was totally normal. Unfortunately it is very true, I felt so alone after our

loss too until I found this group. All the understanding and support gave me

hope for the future again. I hope you find that here too.

Steve Kriel skriel@...> wrote: Sheila,

Thank you for your thoughts I am so sorry that you had a ep in 99. Thank

you for understanding what I am going thur. My husband was reading all of

the responds that I got from those of you who wrote to me. And on some I

started to cry and he just held me and said it will get better. I just feel

that I have no one who can relate to this I am glad that I have you guys. I

hope we can become good friends.

Jenni

Re: I am so sad

> Hi Jenni,

>

> First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I had an ep in July of 99 and

had

> to have my rt.tube removed. I was very angry for a long time and for

quite

> awhile after I kept asking why me too. I had to have ovualtion induction

to

> get pg and thought getting pg was gonna be the hardest part never did I

> fathom that I would get pg and then lose the baby. I know even though

your

> happy for your best friends it is hard for you to completely reveal in

their

> happiness. Things are gonna get better but it will take time. Sure there

> will be days when you will still get depressed(I still have my days when I

> cry and it is over 2 years now)but my dh always said after the ep that we

hit

> rock bottom and there is no where else to go but climb back up and

thinking

> about it he was right--not too often I say that . I will be keeping you

in

> my thoughts and prayers that everything will go smoothly when you have

your

> surgery in Nov. and that you heal asap so that you can get back on the

road

> ttc shorty thereafter. Please take care.

>

> Love

> Sheila

>

October 10, 2001

Hi Jenni,

I am glad that your dh was there with you when you were reading the posts

back. Having him there for support is terrific. As far as becoming good

friends around here I think we have all become " soul sisters " and we always

have room for more!!!! Like I said things are gonna get better but it takes

time that is why you post whatever your feeling whenever your feeling it and

everyone is always here for each other nomatter what whether it is to vent,

talk about something off topic or whatever it is we are all here just

remember that. Please take care and I look forward to talking to you soon.

Love

Sheila

October 12, 2001

Hi Jenni,

I guess I was in a similar position to you, I had to have my left tube removed

during my ep surgery in March 2000. In June this year I went in and had a lap

and dye, this showed that my right tube was blocked by some scar tissue, however

as they were doing a lap they were able to remove this and then the dye flowed

through. But if I'd just had a hsg it would have shown a blockage. I understand

completly what you are going through, and am here if you need to talk

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

I am so sad

Hello,

My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy about 1 year ago. In june

i had to have my left tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test to see

if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in my right side and i have to

have surgey on nov 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea what they are

going to find. And i cry all the time i want to have a baby so bad that it

hurts. my two best friends called and told me that they are having a baby. I am

happy for them but i am crying as they are telling me . it is not fair. i feel

why should i live since my life is falling apart. I just want to know why me???

Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no friends who understan what

i am going thru

jenni

October 13, 2001

Hi Jenni,

When I had my follow up apointment at the drs he reckon we had a good chance of

ttc now, although it would help if my dh was here a little bit!! They were able

to remove the scar tissue I had. What was good for me was finally knowing where

I was up to, I think once you know the facts you can deal with them, and we will

all be here for you. It's soo hard having to deal with the pgs of others when

thats what you want more than anything in the world. How long is it since you

had your ep? I guess it's sitting easier with me at the moment because Rob's not

here and ttc is not a question, so I'm not on that rollercoaster at the moment.

Although my last af was aug 10and I've only had some very slight spotting

between then and now, so I'm kinda hoping, but don't think it's a very realistic

hope and I'm too chicken to go and get a test done as that hope's quite nice to

have. I might ring up and go get a test done this morning if I'm feeling brave

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sad

>

> Hello,

> My name is jenni and i have had a ectopic pregnacy about 1 year ago. In

june i had to have my left tube removed. we went into the doctor for a test

to see if everything was okay, but i have a blockage in my right side and i

have to have surgey on nov 30,2001. I am so scared and mad i have no idea

what they are going to find. And i cry all the time i want to have a baby

so bad that it hurts. my two best friends called and told me that they are

having a baby. I am happy for them but i am crying as they are telling me .

it is not fair. i feel why should i live since my life is falling apart. I

just want to know why me???

>

> Please i need some one to talk to help me i have no friends who

understan what i am going thru

>

> jenni

>

October 14, 2001

Hi ,

I have to have a lap done on nov 30, with dye again. I am so worried as

they are going to find that my tube is blocked with scarge tissue. What are

your chances of ttc since you found this out? My best friend called me last

night to tell me that she is pg and i was so mad and i felt that she was

rubing into my face. There are some days where i can cry for 3 hours

stright and once i start i can't stop. Why me i ask myself that question

everyday. I am so worried about what they are going to find, I just want to

have a baby. Thank you for letting me vent to you, and I am sorry that we

are in the same postion.