moping

[Guest guest]

could become a more fluent reader if family members read to him

> pointing out how they say words in phrases and encouraging him to try.

> Borrowing book and tape sets from the library will aso give more

> experience with fluent reading.

This strikes me as a trifle obnoxious. How do they know you don't do this

already??

Actually the whole report card struck me as obnoxious.

I think they are trying to provide helpful hints for what you could do at

home to supplement his education, but, somehow, it just does NOT come across

that way.

Salli

[Guest guest]

Well, the educators there aren't very bright are they?

Here's a positive comment!

" has exhibited interest in all subjects and it shows in his scores.

works hard and has improved immensely! He will be able to do anything

he puts his mind to. Keep up the good work, ! "

Penny

moping

I've read everything that's come in today, but haven't replied - nor will I,

in all probablility. That's because I got 's report card today. Two

As, seven Bs, which you'd think was a great report card, except I'm not done

the sentence...Two As, Seven Bs, and not ONE goddamn positive comment on the

whole fucking thing.

Just like always.

<sigh>

Jacquie

-who IS reading you all...

[Guest guest]

I am sorry Jacquie. I personally wouldnt have been upset by that report card. It

does point out some stuff that does well. And while a bit on the matter of

fact side it is probably quite accurate for what she sees in school. I think she

diffenately could have added that he was a wonderful child who is very bright,

but that would just be a bonus. I dont think any of Greggory's report cards have

comments like the one Penny gave you. But his teachers will tell me when we

talk. The report card is very good. So sorry it upset you.

Jacquie H

Re: moping

> Here's a positive comment!

>

> " has exhibited interest in all subjects and it shows in his scores.

> works hard and has improved immensely! He will be able to do

anything

> he puts his mind to. Keep up the good work, ! "

Woiuldn't that be nice.

I appreciate it. Now here's what I got: (in its ENTIRETY)

Reading-B Writing - B Oral and Visual Communication - A

reads using most of the strategies we have been learning in grade one.

While he reads clearly, his reading is stilted with long pauses between

words. could become a more fluent reader if family members read to him

pointing out how they say words in phrases and encouraging him to try.

Borrowing book and tape sets from the library will aso give more

experience with fluent reading. writes simple but complete sentences.

they usually begin with a capital and end with a period but he needs to be

reminded to leave spaces between words. is encouraged to begin writing

longer stories and to begin the process of editing his own work at home.

Number Sense - A. Measurement - B+. Geometry - B. Data Management and

Probablility - B

demonstrates independantly that addition involves joining and that

subtraction involves taking away. He adds and subtracts numers to 18

without using counters. could extend his knowledge by learning numbre

facts beyond 18 at home. (LADY, THIS KID CAN ADD TWO DIGIT NUMBERS TO

*THREE DIGIT NUMBERS* IN HIS HEAD) usually orders the days of the week

and the seasons. He could practice using temperature words like hot, cool,

warm, and cold when talking about seasons and the weather. usually

records data on a grid using pictures, colours, and shapes. He could

further his knowledge by explaining the various features of graphs.

Science - B

recognizes most types of fasteners and their uses. He could look for

and talk about other fasteners and their uses to develop further knowledge.

shows an understanding of most of the locations, parts, and functioning

of body systems. Further exploration with books, TV or nature walks could

help him develop a greater awareness of his senses. (like he NEEDS to be

more AWARE of them????)

Health and Phys Ed - C

participates safely, performing most of the required locomotion and

manipulation skills. He shows some understanding of the effects of good

nutrition on growth and development. He is sometimes able to identify the

food groups. could be helped to better understand by identifying the

food groups that various items in his lunch and dinner belong. (faulty

grammar transcribed here verbatim)

Drama and Dance - B.

usually uses his body and voice to demonstrate movement of natural

objects and animals to to solve problems in every day situations through

role-playing and movement. Home should now provide a dress-up box with old

clothes, shoes, and hats which will encourage him to role-play and act out

real-life situations.

" Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Steps "

needs constant supervision to complete tasks because he is easily

distracted from his work and requires assistance refocusing. The importance

of staying on task and finishing work in the allotted time must be stressed

at home. He usually follows routines and instruction and demonstrates a

good attitude toward learning by asking questions during class discussion.

When conflicts arise, he usually requests teacher assistance immediately

instead of solving social conflicts independantly. continues to

receive accommodations and modifications according to his IEP.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't report card supposed to tell you at

least one fucking good thing about your kid????????

The pretend one you wrote for me, Penny -- ALL my report card from grade

school have a comment like that SOMEWHERE on them, generally after the

comments that I talked to much and wasn't working up to my potential!

Getting 's report card always makes me feel like shit. :-(

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

You know what I am thinking....I am thinking really that has come so far so

fast! He isnt even the same kid he was last year. He is becoming very close to

people not being able to tell that there is any trace of autism. Now you know

that he is and you can see it like was waving a bright red flag but most

people dont. I know that this teacher knows of 's autism but for his

everyday life in class with her I bet he just doesnt really seem disabled

anymore. You know what I mean? I know with Greggory that there was apoint that

he was soooo far from being apparantly autistic but yet still so far from

totally being on par with his peers. It was at that time that I seemed to feel

like evryone was just picking on him and on me. Like he was os close that the

teachers and the parents could just taste it. Like they thought if they just

gave me their brilliant suggestions(heavy on sarcasm) that I might use them and

he would suddenly be like his peers. But that wasnt the case and it was still

alot of work and the road is still very long. I do think that the teachers

suggestions were a bit simple. Like you wouldnt have thought of these things

already. You would just be surprised at how many parents just dont think of

these things. Anyway, does that make any sense?

Jacquie H

Re: moping

> I am sorry Jacquie. I personally wouldnt have been upset by that report

card. It does point out some stuff that does well. And while a bit on

the matter of fact side it is probably quite accurate for what she sees in

school. I think she diffenately could have added that he was a wonderful

child who is very bright, but that would just be a bonus. I dont think any

of Greggory's report cards have comments like the one Penny gave you. But

his teachers will tell me when we talk. The report card is very good. So

sorry it upset you.

> Jacquie H

I am upset by all the " he could " " you could " stuff on there. I feel like

I'm being condescended to, and like they think that I'm somehow not doing

all I can. And the suggestions are ridiculous. Have him practicing

pronouncing phrases with me? HA! Will never happen. Have him EXPLAIN

GRAPHS to us? ROTFL. He can't/won't explain ANYTHING to us. Identifying

food groups he's eating? I tried that at dinner tonight. Ten minutes

later, he still insisted that a potato was a grain and didn't care to know

any different. And the going on and on about staying on task and finishing

work and all that -- does she think I don't KNOW this? Does she think I

don't TRY?

I realize it points out things that he is competent at, but in terms of

content, those comments make up about 10% of the whole.

Part of my problem is that I KNOW all his shortcomings and I want someone

else to tell me the good things they see in him. I want to know that the

people he is with all day recognize the leaps he's made and how hard we're

both trying. When I read a report like this, I feel like it says, " Yeah,

he's good, but not good ENOUGH. " Yeah, when I think about it, THAT'S the

feeling that upsets me the most.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Yikes ... all these comments about things you could be doing at home ...

Kinda makes me bristle ... Like you're gonna wave your magic wand or

something. Don't these people know we're all doing the best we can?

Sheesh.

----- Original Message -----

>

> Getting 's report card always makes me feel like shit. :-(

[Guest guest]

Jacquie,

I have to say, I'm with you about the bad feeling about the comments. I've

dealt with so much crap with the schools over , that I've seen too much

of that type of 'suggestion'. It sucks and I knot in my stomach just from

having read it all. The grades are fantastic, but to be honest, what she's

suggesting, even can't do! I don't care how much I go over the stuff

with him, he wouldn't get it, so I know how you feel about it for !

Doesn't she get it that he has autism?? These things are going to take a

very long time for him to learn, if he ever gets them? He's been making

remarkable strides for a child like ours, isn't that something to

celebrate???

Sorry, I better stop now before I really get going!

Sue

[Guest guest]

>

> Getting 's report card always makes me feel like shit. :-(

>

> Jacquie

Hey Jacquie. Congrats on getting such good grades.

I can see why you're upset. When you sign it, maybe write her a

little note asking her to tell what his strengths are. Then thank

her and kill her with kindness. Make her feel like crap

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>

Getting 's report card always makes me feel like shit. :-(

Jacquie

<<<<<<<<

My Gawd Jacquie!

No wonder you feel like shit! Could they have made it sound like you do

less???? What is all this " carry this over at home " crap? What gives them

the right to think you DON'T?

That would piss me off to no end, and I'd have to go in and make in widely

known that my child gets A LOT at home....more than a public school system

could give him in a lifetime.

Penny :/

[Guest guest]

When I read a report like this, I feel like it says, " Yeah,

he's good, but not good ENOUGH. " Yeah, when I think about it, THAT'S

the

feeling that upsets me the most.

[>>] {{{{{{{{{{{ Jacquie }}}}}}}}}}}}}

I know what you mean here. When we started looking help for Dessiree

delays. She was evaluated in an institution here and if I wouldn't have

been so scared and vulnerable I would cut off the head of that

psychologist. She had that look and she kept telling me that we need to

teach her, she was making little eye contact, just a few words, not

functional language, not following commands and they wanted my to teach

her that like it was my fault. The wanted her out of diapers, dress and

undress by herself, etc. She wasn't even looking at me. I left and never

came back. Schools are much better her tho, since they are all private.

So if they don't have parents please they will loose the student.

This is not a compliment but I would be please if Dessiree gets where

k is right now at 6. I think you and he are doing great, you are

involve. All you talk about is k. What else do they want? brain

surgery? His learning curve is still going up that's all that counts.

Cecilia

[Guest guest]

Salli,

I'm glad to read that you took it this way too! I was afraid Jacquie and I

were the only ones! I have a feeling though that it depends on the types of

experiences we've had personally that influence how we interpret the report

card.

Sue

Re: moping

> could become a more fluent reader if family members read to him

> > pointing out how they say words in phrases and encouraging him to try.

> > Borrowing book and tape sets from the library will aso give more

> > experience with fluent reading.

>

> This strikes me as a trifle obnoxious. How do they know you don't do this

> already??

>

> Actually the whole report card struck me as obnoxious.

>

> I think they are trying to provide helpful hints for what you could do at

> home to supplement his education, but, somehow, it just does NOT come

across

> that way.

>

> Salli

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would be upset too. The suggestions are condescending. The whole time I

was reading her comments I was thinking, " Um, he's autistic. " " Um, isn't

that a GOOD thing? He's autistic! "

They have no idea how much work you do with him, and have done with him to

get him to where he is. None whatsoever.

Good luck with the meeting. I can't wait to hear all about it!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

try not to let it get to you jacquie ( i know easier said then done). with

rowan i try to ignore report cards and test results. i know i can assess his

strengths and weaknesses much more accurately as i am sure you can with eric.

rowan got his report card recently as well. it makes him sound like a

completely helpless moron " with constant support and assistance rowan is

beginning to blah blah " every comment starts with the same phrase. an over

worked, overwhelmed teacher is unable to percieve the sublte, quiet and unique

intelligence i know rowan has. i can only expect she is somewhat capable of

comparing him to his peers. he doesn't compare to them. apples and oranges. i

know this. who gives a shit what the teacher thinks?? chin up babe!

M.G.mum to

Sebastian, 11 kinda quirky(NT)

Rowan, 6 extra quirky (ASD)

married to and living in Northern Ontario

[Guest guest]

I've read everything that's come in today, but haven't replied - nor will I, in

all probablility. That's because I got 's report card today. Two As, seven

Bs, which you'd think was a great report card, except I'm not done the

sentence...Two As, Seven Bs, and not ONE goddamn positive comment on the whole

fucking thing.

Just like always.

<sigh>

Jacquie

-who IS reading you all...

[Guest guest]

> Here's a positive comment!

>

> " has exhibited interest in all subjects and it shows in his scores.

> works hard and has improved immensely! He will be able to do

anything

> he puts his mind to. Keep up the good work, ! "

Woiuldn't that be nice.

I appreciate it. Now here's what I got: (in its ENTIRETY)

Reading-B Writing - B Oral and Visual Communication - A

reads using most of the strategies we have been learning in grade one.

While he reads clearly, his reading is stilted with long pauses between

words. could become a more fluent reader if family members read to him

pointing out how they say words in phrases and encouraging him to try.

Borrowing book and tape sets from the library will aso give more

experience with fluent reading. writes simple but complete sentences.

they usually begin with a capital and end with a period but he needs to be

reminded to leave spaces between words. is encouraged to begin writing

longer stories and to begin the process of editing his own work at home.

Number Sense - A. Measurement - B+. Geometry - B. Data Management and

Probablility - B

demonstrates independantly that addition involves joining and that

subtraction involves taking away. He adds and subtracts numers to 18

without using counters. could extend his knowledge by learning numbre

facts beyond 18 at home. (LADY, THIS KID CAN ADD TWO DIGIT NUMBERS TO

*THREE DIGIT NUMBERS* IN HIS HEAD) usually orders the days of the week

and the seasons. He could practice using temperature words like hot, cool,

warm, and cold when talking about seasons and the weather. usually

records data on a grid using pictures, colours, and shapes. He could

further his knowledge by explaining the various features of graphs.

Science - B

recognizes most types of fasteners and their uses. He could look for

and talk about other fasteners and their uses to develop further knowledge.

shows an understanding of most of the locations, parts, and functioning

of body systems. Further exploration with books, TV or nature walks could

help him develop a greater awareness of his senses. (like he NEEDS to be

more AWARE of them????)

Health and Phys Ed - C

participates safely, performing most of the required locomotion and

manipulation skills. He shows some understanding of the effects of good

nutrition on growth and development. He is sometimes able to identify the

food groups. could be helped to better understand by identifying the

food groups that various items in his lunch and dinner belong. (faulty

grammar transcribed here verbatim)

Drama and Dance - B.

usually uses his body and voice to demonstrate movement of natural

objects and animals to to solve problems in every day situations through

role-playing and movement. Home should now provide a dress-up box with old

clothes, shoes, and hats which will encourage him to role-play and act out

real-life situations.

" Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Steps "

needs constant supervision to complete tasks because he is easily

distracted from his work and requires assistance refocusing. The importance

of staying on task and finishing work in the allotted time must be stressed

at home. He usually follows routines and instruction and demonstrates a

good attitude toward learning by asking questions during class discussion.

When conflicts arise, he usually requests teacher assistance immediately

instead of solving social conflicts independantly. continues to

receive accommodations and modifications according to his IEP.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't report card supposed to tell you at

least one fucking good thing about your kid????????

The pretend one you wrote for me, Penny -- ALL my report card from grade

school have a comment like that SOMEWHERE on them, generally after the

comments that I talked to much and wasn't working up to my potential!

Getting 's report card always makes me feel like shit. :-(

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> I am sorry Jacquie. I personally wouldnt have been upset by that report

card. It does point out some stuff that does well. And while a bit on

the matter of fact side it is probably quite accurate for what she sees in

school. I think she diffenately could have added that he was a wonderful

child who is very bright, but that would just be a bonus. I dont think any

of Greggory's report cards have comments like the one Penny gave you. But

his teachers will tell me when we talk. The report card is very good. So

sorry it upset you.

> Jacquie H

I am upset by all the " he could " " you could " stuff on there. I feel like

I'm being condescended to, and like they think that I'm somehow not doing

all I can. And the suggestions are ridiculous. Have him practicing

pronouncing phrases with me? HA! Will never happen. Have him EXPLAIN

GRAPHS to us? ROTFL. He can't/won't explain ANYTHING to us. Identifying

food groups he's eating? I tried that at dinner tonight. Ten minutes

later, he still insisted that a potato was a grain and didn't care to know

any different. And the going on and on about staying on task and finishing

work and all that -- does she think I don't KNOW this? Does she think I

don't TRY?

I realize it points out things that he is competent at, but in terms of

content, those comments make up about 10% of the whole.

Part of my problem is that I KNOW all his shortcomings and I want someone

else to tell me the good things they see in him. I want to know that the

people he is with all day recognize the leaps he's made and how hard we're

both trying. When I read a report like this, I feel like it says, " Yeah,

he's good, but not good ENOUGH. " Yeah, when I think about it, THAT'S the

feeling that upsets me the most.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Well, I think that's a GREAT report card. Congratulations ERIC!!!

Maggie

(who is late in responding because my computer died again...second time

in three months...and I bought it in November. Ach.)

________________________________________________________________

Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today

Only $9.95 per month!

Visit www.juno.com

[Guest guest]

Those principal standards blow out all the spontaneity. No doubt why it

looked so cold.

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: The Hunny Family

Enviado el: Sábado, 08 de Marzo de 2003 11:29 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: Re: moping

Thanks so much for all your replies.

I talked to his teacher, and here's the deal:

According to provincial standards, ALL report cards look so bleak and

awful.

ALL comments MUST follow this pattern: strengths/weaknesses/next steps.

So

you get one good comment, one bad comment, and a couple obnoxious

" suggestions " .

Doesn't our provincial government have a good understanding of how to

foster

positive parent relationships! NOT.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>I know that this teacher knows of 's autism but for his everyday life

in class with her I bet he just doesnt really seem disabled anymore. You

know what I mean? I know with Greggory that there was apoint that he was

soooo far from being apparantly autistic but yet still so far from totally

being on par with his peers. It was at that time that I seemed to feel like

evryone was just picking on him and on me. Like he was os close that the

teachers and the parents could just taste it. Like they thought if they just

gave me their brilliant suggestions(heavy on sarcasm) that I might use them

and he would suddenly be like his peers.

>

You've summed it up beautifully. That's the way I feel.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>It sucks and I knot in my stomach just from

> having read it all.

So do I.

The grades are fantastic, but to be honest, what she's

> suggesting, even can't do! I don't care how much I go over the

stuff

> with him, he wouldn't get it, so I know how you feel about it for !

The grades ARE wonderful. And then all the comments kind of leech out the

pride, you know?

>He's been making

> remarkable strides for a child like ours, isn't that something to

> celebrate???

Well, I think so, and you think so, but...<sigh>

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Hey Jacquie. Congrats on getting such good grades.

> I can see why you're upset. When you sign it, maybe write her a

> little note asking her to tell what his strengths are. Then thank

> her and kill her with kindness. Make her feel like crap

>

there was an option to request an interview to discuss the report card. I

chose it.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> could become a more fluent reader if family members read to him

> > pointing out how they say words in phrases and encouraging him to try.

> > Borrowing book and tape sets from the library will aso give more

> > experience with fluent reading.

>

> This strikes me as a trifle obnoxious. How do they know you don't do this

> already??

That's how I felt, too. We're ALWAYS reading around here.

>

> Actually the whole report card struck me as obnoxious.

Thanks! Me, too.

>

> I think they are trying to provide helpful hints for what you could do at

> home to supplement his education, but, somehow, it just does NOT come

across

> that way.

Nope, not at all. It comes across pedantic and condescending.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> My Gawd Jacquie!

> No wonder you feel like shit! Could they have made it sound like you do

> less???? What is all this " carry this over at home " crap? What gives

them

> the right to think you DON'T?

That's what I wonder. I guess they think I just sit around on my ass and

leave all the nurturing up to them?

>

> That would piss me off to no end, and I'd have to go in and make in widely

> known that my child gets A LOT at home....more than a public school system

> could give him in a lifetime.

Ah, well. I'd like to. But I don't confront. Never have, never will. I

only end up crying in anger and frustration and that never helps my case.

:-(

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> This is not a compliment but I would be please if Dessiree gets where

> k is right now at 6. I think you and he are doing great, you are

> involve. All you talk about is k. What else do they want? brain

> surgery?

ROTFLMAO!

Thanks, Cecilia, I needed that laugh. And you're absolutely right.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Well, it still sucks, but at least you know she's not singling out or

ignoring his amazing progress!

I guess from now on you'll have to focus on his grades and ignore the

writing if you really want to know how he's doing.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much for all your replies.

I talked to his teacher, and here's the deal:

According to provincial standards, ALL report cards look so bleak and awful.

ALL comments MUST follow this pattern: strengths/weaknesses/next steps. So

you get one good comment, one bad comment, and a couple obnoxious

" suggestions " .

Doesn't our provincial government have a good understanding of how to foster

positive parent relationships! NOT.

Jacquie