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I THINK has a friend!!!

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> Don't make what he wants just because he's asking. You can always tell

him

> you'll get them something when you're done with what you're doing but

you're

> not making popcorn this time. And go right ahead and refuse to hand out

> soda if you don't want to share.

Yes to this. I have had all varieties of greedy kids in my house and

sometimes I let them have something (Sophie had a herd of little girls in

here today making frozen pizza) and sometimes I do not. It's my stuff, my

house and I don't even feel I need to offer explanations to little kids.

I do remember that I told my kids that they could not eat a treat outside in

the yard with a friend without offering something to the friend and that one

summer kept asking for popsicles far far more than he usually did.

It turned out that the little girl who lived behind us had caught on to the

fact that she could get a popsicle by asking to ask for one.

Once I learned that the little popsicle gold mine just dried right up. I

think I just quit buying them.

Salli

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Aww, Jacquie, that is so sweet and cool for . Can I borrow Ben when

you're done with him?

Maggie

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WOO HOO ERIC!!!!!

That's SOOOO cool Jacquie. Absolutely wonderful.

Debbie with twins

- Jordan (ASD) 2.5yo

- (NT) 2.5yo

I THINK has a friend!!!

I think, I think, I think....

Tonight Ben came over at 5 and said he had to be home at 6pm. He hadn't

been here, or there, since a week ago -- so I'd sort of written it

all off as a one-time thing. Needless to say, I was glad to see him.

It went pretty well, even though Marc was at work -- I managed to keep

my nose OUT of the boys' business except for once calling aside and

reminding him to PLAY with Ben, for pete's sake!

Anyway, 6pm rolled around and Ben and asked if Ben could stay til

6:30 because Spongebob was on. I said yes, and that at 6:30 we'd walk

Ben home. So they IMMEDIATELY started planning for to stay at

BEN's for a while after that. Yikes!

So at 6:20, Ben's mom knocked on the door. She was going uptown and was

fetching Ben to come with. Well, you'd think the child's feet had been

cemented to the floor, so she asked if I could keep him for 20 more

minutes. Sure! While she was gone, I told the boys that couldn't

go to Ben's tonight, but how about tomorrow after school? Yup, that was

great.

When Ben's mom came back, I asked her if that was okay with her, and she

said yes. Then came up and asked her her name, (Debbie), and told

her his name was . " I know, " she said to him, and to me she said:

" All I HEAR is his name! 'Mom, can I go to 's?' 'Mom, I want to go

to 's.' 'Can I go to 's house now?' ' lives at the second

house from the end, Mom, I can walk there myself.' "

" That's so nice to hear, " I replied, choking back a big lump of tears.

So tomorrow I'm picking up both boys at school, and Ben's older brother,

and dropping them off at Ben's house.

WOW.

Jacquie

-who is amazed that can act as freaky as he likes around Ben and

Ben doesn't seem to give a shit!

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Happy for you and k. That is so amazing. I would like to have a

window to the future and see Dessiree at 6 years.

<http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/080402/080402cool_prv.gif>

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: The Hunny Family

Enviado el: Martes, 04 de Marzo de 2003 09:43 p.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: I THINK has a friend!!!

I think, I think, I think....

Tonight Ben came over at 5 and said he had to be home at 6pm. He hadn't

been here, or there, since a week ago -- so I'd sort of written it

all off as a one-time thing. Needless to say, I was glad to see him.

It went pretty well, even though Marc was at work -- I managed to keep

my nose OUT of the boys' business except for once calling aside and

reminding him to PLAY with Ben, for pete's sake!

Anyway, 6pm rolled around and Ben and asked if Ben could stay til

6:30 because Spongebob was on. I said yes, and that at 6:30 we'd walk

Ben home. So they IMMEDIATELY started planning for to stay at

BEN's for a while after that. Yikes!

So at 6:20, Ben's mom knocked on the door. She was going uptown and was

fetching Ben to come with. Well, you'd think the child's feet had been

cemented to the floor, so she asked if I could keep him for 20 more

minutes. Sure! While she was gone, I told the boys that couldn't

go to Ben's tonight, but how about tomorrow after school? Yup, that was

great.

When Ben's mom came back, I asked her if that was okay with her, and she

said yes. Then came up and asked her her name, (Debbie), and told

her his name was . " I know, " she said to him, and to me she said:

" All I HEAR is his name! 'Mom, can I go to 's?' 'Mom, I want to go

to 's.' 'Can I go to 's house now?' ' lives at the second

house from the end, Mom, I can walk there myself.' "

" That's so nice to hear, " I replied, choking back a big lump of tears.

So tomorrow I'm picking up both boys at school, and Ben's older brother,

and dropping them off at Ben's house.

WOW.

Jacquie

-who is amazed that can act as freaky as he likes around Ben and

Ben doesn't seem to give a shit!

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Cool!!!!! Sounds like you have an Andre too! ;)

Jacquie H

I THINK has a friend!!!

I think, I think, I think....

Tonight Ben came over at 5 and said he had to be home at 6pm. He hadn't been

here, or there, since a week ago -- so I'd sort of written it all off as a

one-time thing. Needless to say, I was glad to see him.

It went pretty well, even though Marc was at work -- I managed to keep my nose

OUT of the boys' business except for once calling aside and reminding him

to PLAY with Ben, for pete's sake!

Anyway, 6pm rolled around and Ben and asked if Ben could stay til 6:30

because Spongebob was on. I said yes, and that at 6:30 we'd walk Ben home. So

they IMMEDIATELY started planning for to stay at BEN's for a while after

that. Yikes!

So at 6:20, Ben's mom knocked on the door. She was going uptown and was

fetching Ben to come with. Well, you'd think the child's feet had been cemented

to the floor, so she asked if I could keep him for 20 more minutes. Sure!

While she was gone, I told the boys that couldn't go to Ben's tonight, but

how about tomorrow after school? Yup, that was great.

When Ben's mom came back, I asked her if that was okay with her, and she said

yes. Then came up and asked her her name, (Debbie), and told her his name

was . " I know, " she said to him, and to me she said: " All I HEAR is his

name! 'Mom, can I go to 's?' 'Mom, I want to go to 's.' 'Can I go to

's house now?' ' lives at the second house from the end, Mom, I can

walk there myself.' "

" That's so nice to hear, " I replied, choking back a big lump of tears.

So tomorrow I'm picking up both boys at school, and Ben's older brother, and

dropping them off at Ben's house.

WOW.

Jacquie

-who is amazed that can act as freaky as he likes around Ben and Ben

doesn't seem to give a shit!

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> Jacquie

-who is amazed that can act as freaky as he likes around Ben and Ben

doesn't seem to give a shit! <

hey, that's what real friends are for :)

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Andre's parents didnt know until last soccer season. I felt almost strange when

it came out. I wasnt really telling her and she hadnt asked me. We were at

soccer practice together and a mom asked me if I was Greggory's mom. She wanted

to know why he called me Jacquie. So I explained it to her. Then I wondered all

weekend if that would make any differnce to Tonya(andre's mom). Jeff tried to

reassure me it would make no differnce. But I wondered if I should have told her

sooner. The next week Andre invited Greggory over again and everything seemed

fine. She later told me she would have never guessed Greggory was autistic. I

still wonder if I should have told her sooner but it seems to be ok that I

didnt.

Jacquie H

Re: I THINK has a friend!!!

> Do Ben and Debbie know about the " A " word?

>

> Sissi

I just asked Marc that -- turned away from the screen and said, " did you

tell ben's mom about 's autism? " -- because he was the first one in

contact with their family. I just didn't even think to mention it last

night, figuring he had. He hadn't! I guess I'll wait and see how this

goes. He was over at their house for an hour last week with no problems; so

I think I'll just play it by ear for now.

Jacquie

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i haven't replyed to this post yet. i am really pleased for you and for eric

jacquie but i have to tell you this whole scenario frightens the shit out of me.

i just can't imagine rowan ever going to play at another childs house on his own

- EVER! the thought of it sends chills up my spine. rowan's not eric though.

i'll just crawl back into my isolation chamber now ;o)

M.G.mum to

Sebastian, 11 kinda quirky(NT)

Rowan, 6 extra quirky (ASD)

married to and living in Northern Ontario

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I think, I think, I think....

Tonight Ben came over at 5 and said he had to be home at 6pm. He hadn't been

here, or there, since a week ago -- so I'd sort of written it all off as a

one-time thing. Needless to say, I was glad to see him.

It went pretty well, even though Marc was at work -- I managed to keep my nose

OUT of the boys' business except for once calling aside and reminding him

to PLAY with Ben, for pete's sake!

Anyway, 6pm rolled around and Ben and asked if Ben could stay til 6:30

because Spongebob was on. I said yes, and that at 6:30 we'd walk Ben home. So

they IMMEDIATELY started planning for to stay at BEN's for a while after

that. Yikes!

So at 6:20, Ben's mom knocked on the door. She was going uptown and was

fetching Ben to come with. Well, you'd think the child's feet had been cemented

to the floor, so she asked if I could keep him for 20 more minutes. Sure!

While she was gone, I told the boys that couldn't go to Ben's tonight, but

how about tomorrow after school? Yup, that was great.

When Ben's mom came back, I asked her if that was okay with her, and she said

yes. Then came up and asked her her name, (Debbie), and told her his name

was . " I know, " she said to him, and to me she said: " All I HEAR is his

name! 'Mom, can I go to 's?' 'Mom, I want to go to 's.' 'Can I go to

's house now?' ' lives at the second house from the end, Mom, I can

walk there myself.' "

" That's so nice to hear, " I replied, choking back a big lump of tears.

So tomorrow I'm picking up both boys at school, and Ben's older brother, and

dropping them off at Ben's house.

WOW.

Jacquie

-who is amazed that can act as freaky as he likes around Ben and Ben

doesn't seem to give a shit!

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> Do Ben and Debbie know about the " A " word?

>

> Sissi

I just asked Marc that -- turned away from the screen and said, " did you

tell ben's mom about 's autism? " -- because he was the first one in

contact with their family. I just didn't even think to mention it last

night, figuring he had. He hadn't! I guess I'll wait and see how this

goes. He was over at their house for an hour last week with no problems; so

I think I'll just play it by ear for now.

Jacquie

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> Oh, Jacquie this is so WONDERFUL.

>

> Here's to friendship!

Yeah, well...they're HERE now, and Ben is once again refusing to go home!

So I set the kitchen timer and came up here, and when the timer goes off,

WE " RE WALKING HIM HOME.

Jacquie

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OMG, Jacque are you complaining? Maybe k is making you enter into

the NT world too fast.

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: The Hunny Family

Enviado el: Sábado, 08 de Marzo de 2003 11:26 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: Re: I THINK has a friend!!!

> Aww, Jacquie, that is so sweet and cool for . Can I borrow Ben

when

> you're done with him?

>

> Maggie

I'm done with him. He never goes away.

I NEED to work on being assertive. He's only 6, for pete's sake!

Jacquie

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Sorry, Jacque. I mean Jacquie.

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: Cecilia

Enviado el: Viernes, 07 de Marzo de 2003 10:34 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: RE: I THINK has a friend!!!

Importancia: Alta

OMG, Jacque are you complaining? Maybe k is making you enter into

the NT world too fast.

Cecilia from Perú, mom to Dessirée (05/07/99)

Lovely husband

-----Mensaje original-----

De: The Hunny Family

Enviado el: Sábado, 08 de Marzo de 2003 11:26 a.m.

Para: parenting_autism

Asunto: Re: I THINK has a friend!!!

> Aww, Jacquie, that is so sweet and cool for . Can I borrow Ben

when

> you're done with him?

>

> Maggie

I'm done with him. He never goes away.

I NEED to work on being assertive. He's only 6, for pete's sake!

Jacquie

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> Jacquie

> -whose own routine is being messed up and is having a HARD time dealing

with it!

Ah ha!! So that's the problem. It's not Ben exactly, it's just that his

presence is throwing off your need for sameness! Sorry Sweetie, if 's

going to make friends and fit more into the nt world, your routines are

going to suffer. Sucks, doesn't it? ;-p

Sue

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Now, I have a question:

>

> When NT kids go to other houses, do they generally ask for food?

Like, say,

> WAFFLES? And for a can of the good soda? Or am I being played,

here?

>

> Jacquie

Oh YES...they do...when joshua (now almost 15, nt) was little

he had friends over, and all they seemed to do was EAT! But,

not waffles..lol....usually they wanted soda, koolaid, and mostly

snacks type things, like cookies, crackers..etc. I think they

try to find the house that has the GOOD food!!! I loved it tho,

i would sometimes make chocolate chip cookies when he had friends

over to play...

good luck to you all week!!!

nancy :)

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I know some kids do and some dont. Jeff had a friend who would just go into

their fridge and get stuff out. One day Mikey(the friend) woke up before the

rest of the family and cooked up an entire package of bacon and carton of eggs

for his breakfast! :-O He is totally nt but a bit...ummm....weird? ;) I love him

personally but he wasnt opening MY fridge. And some of Greggory's friends will

ask for things but usually Greggory feds them before he gets a chance. I know

that Greggory told Tonya(Andre's mom) that he was hungry. :P

Jacquie H

Re: I THINK has a friend!!!

>

> Ah ha!! So that's the problem. It's not Ben exactly, it's just that his

> presence is throwing off your need for sameness!

AND for reasonable expectations of my expectations being met! ie: when Ben

said he was going to Florida for March Break, I mentall assimilated he was

going away for March break. So WHY is he in my living room right now?

Because he's going to Florida on March 25th! AFTER March break! <sigh>

Now, I have a question:

When NT kids go to other houses, do they generally ask for food? Like, say,

WAFFLES? And for a can of the good soda? Or am I being played, here?

Jacquie

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> When NT kids go to other houses, do they generally ask for food?

Like, say,

> WAFFLES? And for a can of the good soda? Or am I being played,

here?

Often yes. Especially the soda. Tell them they may have a waffle or

an apple and a glass of milk. No soda.

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I hand out the soda. ;) But that is just me. In fact most anything in the house

is fair game. But you need to set your limits. Whatever you want to give Ben

should be what he gets and no more. I just realised that my Ben(Benny) is alot

like your Ben. :P

Jacquie H

Re: I THINK has a friend!!!

> When NT kids go to other houses, do they generally ask for food?

Like, say,

> WAFFLES? And for a can of the good soda? Or am I being played,

here?

Often yes. Especially the soda. Tell them they may have a waffle or

an apple and a glass of milk. No soda.

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Yeah, some kids do. I think it depends on how well they were taught. At

that age, they might not have been told about that part of manners yet.

Maybe you could keep something inexpensive on hand (koolaide and some snack

crackers maybe) so you can offer them something when he's got company?

Sue

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Jacquie,

Don't make what he wants just because he's asking. You can always tell him

you'll get them something when you're done with what you're doing but you're

not making popcorn this time. And go right ahead and refuse to hand out

soda if you don't want to share. You don't have to with a 6 year old! ;-)

Sue

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