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Genevieve,

Just wanted to say welcome to the group. You've been through so much and I'm

sorry to hear about the chemo too. I'm kind of a " lurker " too..I've been here a

couple of years and the group has helped more than I can ever express. I hope

the support here helps you as much as it's helped me.

Thanks for your post.

Hang in there!

~Dana

another lurker unveiled

Well, I don't know where to start. First I want to say thank you to

everyone for the messages appearing in my inbox all day. They've been

a tremendous support and let me know I'm not alone in this.

I signed up for the group when I was first diagnosed with IgAN in

March 2004. I posted a few times, but was in total denial about what

was happening. I couldn't relate to the e-mails, the medical world

was so foreign to me. I was 27 and thought, no way, there's no chance

I'll advance to those levels. Looking back I just roll my eyes. My

protein at the time was 11 grams, my ankles and feet were so swollen

I couldn't put on my shoes. My blood pressure was literally getting

higher every day. My GFR was about 70, creatinine 1.4. Still, I

didn't believe it.

Now, I'm preparing to go in next week for my sixth treatment of

intraveinous cytoxan chemotherapy. I've been loaded up with

prednisone, Cellcept, Imuran, and cyclosporin (not at the same time).

I'm on 2 blood pressure medications. I have shots of Lupron every

month during chemo, which threw me into menopause ( " put your

overaries to sleep, " as my doctor puts it) to protect my ovaries from

the cytoxan so I can hopefully have kids later. Talk about nasty

dispositions -- between Lupron and 100 mg of prednisone, I'd

challenge Janell and . :) My boyfriend is an angel.

Since my diagnosis, my mom has had 2 minor strokes, and I've moved

across the state for a new job. Three months after moving, my gfr

dropped from 70 to 50. I was just popping pills every day until the

new doctor freaked and called in the chemo (I did get a second

opinion). It's been the craziest time of my life.

The new job, however, was a blessing. I'm a reporter, and jumped to a

newspaper with about twice the circulation -- great news career-wise.

The benefits and pay are tremendously better, as I wouldn't be able

to afford the chemo on my old plan. Now I live in Santa Cruz, CA,

where I'll never be able to afford a house but receive amazing

therapy walking by the ocean.

I tuned back into the group a little while ago to battle the

loneliness. I'm used to having a large group of friends but because

of the chemo, haven't had time or energy to get out and meet a lot of

people. Fortunately, I started dating a new guy right before therapy

started and he has been my biggest blessing. Little did I know when I

thought, " wow, he's cute and fun, " he would hold my hand every time

they insert the IV needle.

But no one I've met so far understands that bone-deep exhaustion, or

the fuzzy thinking, or the panic...my friends are all getting

married, having kids, traveling the world, getting ahead in their

careers. I go in next month for a transplant consultation appointment.

Sorry this is going on so long, it just feels really good to vent

and, well, I am a writer. :) I've been reading all the posts from 20-

somethings and thought maybe I could help them with that feeling

of, " this isn't supposed to happen to me now, my life is just getting

started " and maybe they could help me too I guess.

I had some questions but after typing all this I can't remember what

they are. I'm sure I will as soon as I send it, so I'll write them

later. I appreciate anyone who's read this far!

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support and I hope I can

give something back in return.

Genevieve

To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

home page:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iga-nephropathy/

To unsubcribe via email,

iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported by

donations. If you would like to help, go to:

http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

Thank you

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Well, I don't know where to start. First I want to say thank you to

everyone for the messages appearing in my inbox all day. They've been

a tremendous support and let me know I'm not alone in this.

I signed up for the group when I was first diagnosed with IgAN in

March 2004. I posted a few times, but was in total denial about what

was happening. I couldn't relate to the e-mails, the medical world

was so foreign to me. I was 27 and thought, no way, there's no chance

I'll advance to those levels. Looking back I just roll my eyes. My

protein at the time was 11 grams, my ankles and feet were so swollen

I couldn't put on my shoes. My blood pressure was literally getting

higher every day. My GFR was about 70, creatinine 1.4. Still, I

didn't believe it.

Now, I'm preparing to go in next week for my sixth treatment of

intraveinous cytoxan chemotherapy. I've been loaded up with

prednisone, Cellcept, Imuran, and cyclosporin (not at the same time).

I'm on 2 blood pressure medications. I have shots of Lupron every

month during chemo, which threw me into menopause ( " put your

overaries to sleep, " as my doctor puts it) to protect my ovaries from

the cytoxan so I can hopefully have kids later. Talk about nasty

dispositions -- between Lupron and 100 mg of prednisone, I'd

challenge Janell and . :) My boyfriend is an angel.

Since my diagnosis, my mom has had 2 minor strokes, and I've moved

across the state for a new job. Three months after moving, my gfr

dropped from 70 to 50. I was just popping pills every day until the

new doctor freaked and called in the chemo (I did get a second

opinion). It's been the craziest time of my life.

The new job, however, was a blessing. I'm a reporter, and jumped to a

newspaper with about twice the circulation -- great news career-wise.

The benefits and pay are tremendously better, as I wouldn't be able

to afford the chemo on my old plan. Now I live in Santa Cruz, CA,

where I'll never be able to afford a house but receive amazing

therapy walking by the ocean.

I tuned back into the group a little while ago to battle the

loneliness. I'm used to having a large group of friends but because

of the chemo, haven't had time or energy to get out and meet a lot of

people. Fortunately, I started dating a new guy right before therapy

started and he has been my biggest blessing. Little did I know when I

thought, " wow, he's cute and fun, " he would hold my hand every time

they insert the IV needle.

But no one I've met so far understands that bone-deep exhaustion, or

the fuzzy thinking, or the panic...my friends are all getting

married, having kids, traveling the world, getting ahead in their

careers. I go in next month for a transplant consultation appointment.

Sorry this is going on so long, it just feels really good to vent

and, well, I am a writer. :) I've been reading all the posts from 20-

somethings and thought maybe I could help them with that feeling

of, " this isn't supposed to happen to me now, my life is just getting

started " and maybe they could help me too I guess.

I had some questions but after typing all this I can't remember what

they are. I'm sure I will as soon as I send it, so I'll write them

later. I appreciate anyone who's read this far!

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support and I hope I can

give something back in return.

Genevieve

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Hi Genevieve

Our lurkers are as valuable to us as anyone else. Every time I reply to a

message, I automatically assume the reply will be read by one original

poster, and a thousand lurkers :-)

I think denial is a natural defense mechanism we all use when initially

faced with something like kidney disease. I certainly went through that

myself. In my case, it lasted more than a decade, although, it was perhaps

justified in that my symptoms were pretty mild at the time. More ominously

though, my denial extended to the severe hypertension I eventually

developed. I'm probably lucky I'm still here with the kind of pressures I

had!

Welcome to the group once again, and enjoy your ocean. I wish I had one

nearby. I've always found the seashore to be a kind of spiritual experience.

Pierre

another lurker unveiled

> Well, I don't know where to start. First I want to say thank you to

> everyone for the messages appearing in my inbox all day. They've been

> a tremendous support and let me know I'm not alone in this.

>

> I signed up for the group when I was first diagnosed with IgAN in

> March 2004. I posted a few times, but was in total denial about what

> was happening. I couldn't relate to the e-mails, the medical world

> was so foreign to me. I was 27 and thought, no way, there's no chance

> I'll advance to those levels. Looking back I just roll my eyes. My

> protein at the time was 11 grams, my ankles and feet were so swollen

> I couldn't put on my shoes. My blood pressure was literally getting

> higher every day. My GFR was about 70, creatinine 1.4. Still, I

> didn't believe it.

>

> Now, I'm preparing to go in next week for my sixth treatment of

> intraveinous cytoxan chemotherapy. I've been loaded up with

> prednisone, Cellcept, Imuran, and cyclosporin (not at the same time).

> I'm on 2 blood pressure medications. I have shots of Lupron every

> month during chemo, which threw me into menopause ( " put your

> overaries to sleep, " as my doctor puts it) to protect my ovaries from

> the cytoxan so I can hopefully have kids later. Talk about nasty

> dispositions -- between Lupron and 100 mg of prednisone, I'd

> challenge Janell and . :) My boyfriend is an angel.

>

> Since my diagnosis, my mom has had 2 minor strokes, and I've moved

> across the state for a new job. Three months after moving, my gfr

> dropped from 70 to 50. I was just popping pills every day until the

> new doctor freaked and called in the chemo (I did get a second

> opinion). It's been the craziest time of my life.

>

> The new job, however, was a blessing. I'm a reporter, and jumped to a

> newspaper with about twice the circulation -- great news career-wise.

> The benefits and pay are tremendously better, as I wouldn't be able

> to afford the chemo on my old plan. Now I live in Santa Cruz, CA,

> where I'll never be able to afford a house but receive amazing

> therapy walking by the ocean.

>

> I tuned back into the group a little while ago to battle the

> loneliness. I'm used to having a large group of friends but because

> of the chemo, haven't had time or energy to get out and meet a lot of

> people. Fortunately, I started dating a new guy right before therapy

> started and he has been my biggest blessing. Little did I know when I

> thought, " wow, he's cute and fun, " he would hold my hand every time

> they insert the IV needle.

>

> But no one I've met so far understands that bone-deep exhaustion, or

> the fuzzy thinking, or the panic...my friends are all getting

> married, having kids, traveling the world, getting ahead in their

> careers. I go in next month for a transplant consultation appointment.

>

> Sorry this is going on so long, it just feels really good to vent

> and, well, I am a writer. :) I've been reading all the posts from 20-

> somethings and thought maybe I could help them with that feeling

> of, " this isn't supposed to happen to me now, my life is just getting

> started " and maybe they could help me too I guess.

>

> I had some questions but after typing all this I can't remember what

> they are. I'm sure I will as soon as I send it, so I'll write them

> later. I appreciate anyone who's read this far!

>

> Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support and I hope I can

> give something back in return.

>

> Genevieve

>

>

>

>

> To edit your settings for the group, go to our Yahoo Group

> home page:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iga-nephropathy/

>

> To unsubcribe via email,

> iga-nephropathy-unsubscribe

> Visit our companion website at www.igan.ca. The site is entirely supported

> by donations. If you would like to help, go to:

> http://www.igan.ca/id62.htm

>

> Thank you

>

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Guest guest

Hi Genevieve,

I felt as if I were reading about myself when I read your post

(except for the amazing boyfriend). I was diagnosed in May 2004 and

have been on Cytoxan IV treatments and massive doses of prednisone

since my diagnosis. They have actually weaned my prednisone, but my

neph will not let me come completely off until I finish the cytoxan

treatments.

One thing I was surprised to read in your post was that you were

going for a transplant consult soon. When I was first diagnosed my

creatnine was 5.2 and my GFR was 15. Fortunately, that has turned

around and my creatnine is holding at 2.2 with a GFR of around 27-

28. My neph has not mentioned anything about dialysis possibilities

or transplant at any time during my treatment, so I was assuming

everything was wonderful (thanks for letting me borrow your

rose colored glasses!). I was wondering if any of our long time

board members think this is something that my neph should inform me

of how much time I may have. My blood pressure has been awful to

control. About every other month we are having to make adjustments.

Is this something I should start thinking about or can I keep my rose

colored glasses? :)

Thanks for listening!

J.

> Well, I don't know where to start. First I want to say thank you to

> everyone for the messages appearing in my inbox all day. They've

been

> a tremendous support and let me know I'm not alone in this.

>

> I signed up for the group when I was first diagnosed with IgAN in

> March 2004. I posted a few times, but was in total denial about

what

> was happening. I couldn't relate to the e-mails, the medical world

> was so foreign to me. I was 27 and thought, no way, there's no

chance

> I'll advance to those levels. Looking back I just roll my eyes. My

> protein at the time was 11 grams, my ankles and feet were so

swollen

> I couldn't put on my shoes. My blood pressure was literally getting

> higher every day. My GFR was about 70, creatinine 1.4. Still, I

> didn't believe it.

>

> Now, I'm preparing to go in next week for my sixth treatment of

> intraveinous cytoxan chemotherapy. I've been loaded up with

> prednisone, Cellcept, Imuran, and cyclosporin (not at the same

time).

> I'm on 2 blood pressure medications. I have shots of Lupron every

> month during chemo, which threw me into menopause ( " put your

> overaries to sleep, " as my doctor puts it) to protect my ovaries

from

> the cytoxan so I can hopefully have kids later. Talk about nasty

> dispositions -- between Lupron and 100 mg of prednisone, I'd

> challenge Janell and . :) My boyfriend is an angel.

>

> Since my diagnosis, my mom has had 2 minor strokes, and I've moved

> across the state for a new job. Three months after moving, my gfr

> dropped from 70 to 50. I was just popping pills every day until the

> new doctor freaked and called in the chemo (I did get a second

> opinion). It's been the craziest time of my life.

>

> The new job, however, was a blessing. I'm a reporter, and jumped to

a

> newspaper with about twice the circulation -- great news career-

wise.

> The benefits and pay are tremendously better, as I wouldn't be able

> to afford the chemo on my old plan. Now I live in Santa Cruz, CA,

> where I'll never be able to afford a house but receive amazing

> therapy walking by the ocean.

>

> I tuned back into the group a little while ago to battle the

> loneliness. I'm used to having a large group of friends but because

> of the chemo, haven't had time or energy to get out and meet a lot

of

> people. Fortunately, I started dating a new guy right before

therapy

> started and he has been my biggest blessing. Little did I know when

I

> thought, " wow, he's cute and fun, " he would hold my hand every time

> they insert the IV needle.

>

> But no one I've met so far understands that bone-deep exhaustion,

or

> the fuzzy thinking, or the panic...my friends are all getting

> married, having kids, traveling the world, getting ahead in their

> careers. I go in next month for a transplant consultation

appointment.

>

> Sorry this is going on so long, it just feels really good to vent

> and, well, I am a writer. :) I've been reading all the posts from

20-

> somethings and thought maybe I could help them with that feeling

> of, " this isn't supposed to happen to me now, my life is just

getting

> started " and maybe they could help me too I guess.

>

> I had some questions but after typing all this I can't remember

what

> they are. I'm sure I will as soon as I send it, so I'll write them

> later. I appreciate anyone who's read this far!

>

> Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support and I hope I

can

> give something back in return.

>

> Genevieve

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Hi Genevieve,

A very warm welcome to you! I have had my protein spill up as high at 10

grams in 24 hours, so I have some idea of the edema you were facing. As to the

fatigue, I know that can be overwhelming too.

I am sorry you are having to endure Cytoxan now on top of all the other

drugs. Thank goodness you have been blessed with a great job, and a great

boyfriend to support you too. Santa Cruz is beautiful, especially this time of

the

year when it gets so hot over the hill in Almaden Valley where I live. I

can only express my hope and prayers that your treatment will help you achieve

stability in your kidney function.

Regardless, you have found a support group that really does understand what

you are going through and we will be here for you each step of the way!

Welcome again!

In a message dated 7/28/2005 8:11:59 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

gbookwalter@... writes:

Well, I don't know where to start. First I want to say thank you to

everyone for the messages appearing in my inbox all day. They've been

a tremendous support and let me know I'm not alone in this.

I signed up for the group when I was first diagnosed with IgAN in

March 2004. I posted a few times, but was in total denial about what

was happening. I couldn't relate to the e-mails, the medical world

was so foreign to me. I was 27 and thought, no way, there's no chance

I'll advance to those levels. Looking back I just roll my eyes. My

protein at the time was 11 grams, my ankles and feet were so swollen

I couldn't put on my shoes. My blood pressure was literally getting

higher every day. My GFR was about 70, creatinine 1.4. Still, I

didn't believe it.

Now, I'm preparing to go in next week for my sixth treatment of

intraveinous cytoxan chemotherapy. I've been loaded up with

prednisone, Cellcept, Imuran, and cyclosporin (not at the same time).

I'm on 2 blood pressure medications. I have shots of Lupron every

month during chemo, which threw me into menopause ( " put your

overaries to sleep, " as my doctor puts it) to protect my ovaries from

the cytoxan so I can hopefully have kids later. Talk about nasty

dispositions -- between Lupron and 100 mg of prednisone, I'd

challenge Janell and . :) My boyfriend is an angel.

Since my diagnosis, my mom has had 2 minor strokes, and I've moved

across the state for a new job. Three months after moving, my gfr

dropped from 70 to 50. I was just popping pills every day until the

new doctor freaked and called in the chemo (I did get a second

opinion). It's been the craziest time of my life.

The new job, however, was a blessing. I'm a reporter, and jumped to a

newspaper with about twice the circulation -- great news career-wise.

The benefits and pay are tremendously better, as I wouldn't be able

to afford the chemo on my old plan. Now I live in Santa Cruz, CA,

where I'll never be able to afford a house but receive amazing

therapy walking by the ocean.

I tuned back into the group a little while ago to battle the

loneliness. I'm used to having a large group of friends but because

of the chemo, haven't had time or energy to get out and meet a lot of

people. Fortunately, I started dating a new guy right before therapy

started and he has been my biggest blessing. Little did I know when I

thought, " wow, he's cute and fun, " he would hold my hand every time

they insert the IV needle.

But no one I've met so far understands that bone-deep exhaustion, or

the fuzzy thinking, or the panic...my friends are all getting

married, having kids, traveling the world, getting ahead in their

careers. I go in next month for a transplant consultation appointment.

Sorry this is going on so long, it just feels really good to vent

and, well, I am a writer. :) I've been reading all the posts from 20-

somethings and thought maybe I could help them with that feeling

of, " this isn't supposed to happen to me now, my life is just getting

started " and maybe they could help me too I guess.

I had some questions but after typing all this I can't remember what

they are. I'm sure I will as soon as I send it, so I'll write them

later. I appreciate anyone who's read this far!

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for the support and I hope I can

give something back in return.

Genevieve

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Hi ,

You post has given me hope that my creatinine may come down in two weeks and

I can perhaps hold off on dialysis! That is a significant drop going from

5.2 down to 2.2! WOW! That is fantastic news. My question back to you is

how long have you been holding steady at 2.2? I think certainly if you are

bouncing up around the 4's and 5's, it would be prudent to discuss ESRD

options,

but if you are steady at 2.2 hopefully those discussions are still in the

future. It is very difficult to predict when someone will reach ESRD, and much

of it is not scientific but rather based on symptoms and how your body is

tolerating the lower renal function. The more muscle mass you have, the higher

creatinine you will likely be able to tolerate.

And by the way, the rose colored glasses are really wonderful and you can

borrow them any time you need to :-)

In a message dated 7/29/2005 11:48:35 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

arjessup@... writes:

One thing I was surprised to read in your post was that you were

going for a transplant consult soon. When I was first diagnosed my

creatnine was 5.2 and my GFR was 15. Fortunately, that has turned

around and my creatnine is holding at 2.2 with a GFR of around 27-

28. My neph has not mentioned anything about dialysis possibilities

or transplant at any time during my treatment, so I was assuming

everything was wonderful (thanks for letting me borrow your

rose colored glasses!). I was wondering if any of our long time

board members think this is something that my neph should inform me

of how much time I may have. My blood pressure has been awful to

control. About every other month we are having to make adjustments.

Is this something I should start thinking about or can I keep my rose

colored glasses? :)

Thanks for listening!

J.

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Guest guest

It's important to note that with any kidney disease, there can be a certain

amount of acute renal failure on top of the chronic one. This is usually

what happens when serum creatinine improves significantly.

Pierre

Re: Re: another lurker unveiled

>

> Hi ,

>

> You post has given me hope that my creatinine may come down in two weeks

> and

> I can perhaps hold off on dialysis! That is a significant drop going

> from

> 5.2 down to 2.2! WOW! That is fantastic news. My question back to you

> is

> how long have you been holding steady at 2.2? I think certainly if you

> are

> bouncing up around the 4's and 5's, it would be prudent to discuss ESRD

> options,

> but if you are steady at 2.2 hopefully those discussions are still in the

> future. It is very difficult to predict when someone will reach ESRD,

> and much

> of it is not scientific but rather based on symptoms and how your body is

> tolerating the lower renal function. The more muscle mass you have, the

> higher

> creatinine you will likely be able to tolerate.

>

> And by the way, the rose colored glasses are really wonderful and you can

> borrow them any time you need to :-)

>

>

>

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Guest guest

You are right Pierre,

Thanks for the reality check. I am just shooting for enough of an

improvement to hold off on dialysis. My Neph took me off Cozaar to see if that

will

help get it down some.

In a message dated 8/1/2005 4:49:39 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

pgl-groups@... writes:

It's important to note that with any kidney disease, there can be a certain

amount of acute renal failure on top of the chronic one. This is usually

what happens when serum creatinine improves significantly.

Pierre

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Hey everyone,

Thanks for all the kind words. Sorry it's taken a couple days to get

back, of course I post and then am away from my computer for the

weekend!

Jill -- I know what you mean about the alcohol. Last summer for me

was way out of control, I was in total denial and decided I was going

to do everything I could to prove I was still strong and could keep

my normal pace...or exceed it. I was partying like a sophomore in

college. I've slowed down since I moved and started chemo, and just

come to terms with taking care of myself. While I hope you find a way

to cope besides alcohol, it was nice to read I'm not the only one.

And hey, you're not either.

my cytoxan buddy - when is your last treatment? Mine is this

Friday, woohoo! Then I'm weaned off the prednisone, too. I'm going to

the transplant consultation because I have a few relatives who would

be willing to donate their kidney and my nephrologist wants to get

testing going as soon as possible. He'd rather skip dialysis if we

can and go straight to the transplant. We'll see...

Cathy -- I'm sorry to hear about all the hard times you're going

through. I was thinking about your relationship with Janell and

comparing it to the relationship I have with my mom...we've just

started to get better, but it sounds like I was pretty comparable to

your daughter there for a while. What helped me was a long talking-to

from my sister, who pointed out how rude I was acting. But to explain

my mother and I's issues, I felt like this disease was already

threatening my independence and when my mom started freaking out and

telling me what to do to take care of myself, etc, i knew she was

doing it because she cared and was scared to death but i was so

sensitive that i felt like she was treating me like i was 12. So I

snapped right back. I didn't want the presents, the consolation, any

of that, i just wanted to be healthy again. Her constant

questions, " are you tired? do you need sleep? " were just more

reminders that i was sick at a time in my life when i'm supposed to

be the healthiest. I hope that makes sense....what also helped with

me and my mom was thinking of us as a team. For a while it was almost

like a competition, after she had her stroke...you're the sick one,

no, YOU'RE the sick one....now we try and help each other through.

Maybe that would work for you and Janell, she could help you with

your back and you could help her with her kidney disease. It could

help give her back a sense of independence and worth that she might

be missing right now. It worked for us, anyway, I hope it helps you.

sorry i write such long posts! Thanks again to everyone for all the

kind words.

And one question -- does anyone have any advice for stomaching fish

oil? One capsule is my limit before it just gets really bad in the

digestive system....

thanks! hope you're all having a great evening...

genevieve

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Hi Genevieve,

It sounds like you went through the normal stages of grief, which

includes going through denial. You are not alone in going through that.

Congratulations on Friday being your last Cytoxan treatment and being

weaned off the Prednisone. I am glad you will be able to close that

chapter in a few days.

Re: another lurker unveiled

Hey everyone,

Thanks for all the kind words. Sorry it's taken a couple days to get

back, of course I post and then am away from my computer for the

weekend!

Jill -- I know what you mean about the alcohol. Last summer for me

was way out of control, I was in total denial and decided I was going

to do everything I could to prove I was still strong and could keep

my normal pace...or exceed it. I was partying like a sophomore in

college. I've slowed down since I moved and started chemo, and just

come to terms with taking care of myself. While I hope you find a way

to cope besides alcohol, it was nice to read I'm not the only one.

And hey, you're not either.

my cytoxan buddy - when is your last treatment? Mine is this

Friday, woohoo! Then I'm weaned off the prednisone, too. I'm going to

the transplant consultation because I have a few relatives who would

be willing to donate their kidney and my nephrologist wants to get

testing going as soon as possible. He'd rather skip dialysis if we

can and go straight to the transplant. We'll see...

Cathy -- I'm sorry to hear about all the hard times you're going

through. I was thinking about your relationship with Janell and

comparing it to the relationship I have with my mom...we've just

started to get better, but it sounds like I was pretty comparable to

your daughter there for a while. What helped me was a long talking-to

from my sister, who pointed out how rude I was acting. But to explain

my mother and I's issues, I felt like this disease was already

threatening my independence and when my mom started freaking out and

telling me what to do to take care of myself, etc, i knew she was

doing it because she cared and was scared to death but i was so

sensitive that i felt like she was treating me like i was 12. So I

snapped right back. I didn't want the presents, the consolation, any

of that, i just wanted to be healthy again. Her constant

questions, " are you tired? do you need sleep? " were just more

reminders that i was sick at a time in my life when i'm supposed to

be the healthiest. I hope that makes sense....what also helped with

me and my mom was thinking of us as a team. For a while it was almost

like a competition, after she had her stroke...you're the sick one,

no, YOU'RE the sick one....now we try and help each other through.

Maybe that would work for you and Janell, she could help you with

your back and you could help her with her kidney disease. It could

help give her back a sense of independence and worth that she might

be missing right now. It worked for us, anyway, I hope it helps you.

sorry i write such long posts! Thanks again to everyone for all the

kind words.

And one question -- does anyone have any advice for stomaching fish

oil? One capsule is my limit before it just gets really bad in the

digestive system....

thanks! hope you're all having a great evening...

genevieve

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