Guest guest Posted May 7, 2007 Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 Well, it looks like we may head to California to visit my husband's family. I do see that nearby there is a lab for healthcheck.usa. Am thinking to utilize it and have ft3/ft4 drawn. I asked a question, on another board regarding Graves/TPO. Apparently, the majority of Graves patients have elevated TPO. Anyway, there was mention of TGAB on the website and mention of carcinoma. I don't like that. On top of that, I was hopeful in taking Prevacid in an area: it seemed I was dredging up less brown flecked " gunk " from my lungs but yesterday and today, it came back with a vengeance. I'm upset, been feeling bad for some time and the last visit, prior to recent labs...my Dr. suggested I may be hypochondriac. It is true, I feared the worst, initially. When so many areas within the body seem messed up...and you had a perfectly healthy life prior...it scares you! I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. I could use a pint of Guinness about now. ~Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2007 Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 Don't know if you're sitting or standing right now, probably sitting, since you're at the computer... so I'm staring down at you.. straight in the eye..... Do I have your attention?? You are NOT a hypochondriac!!! Okay.. that is out of the way. I bet a bunch of you can relate to this.... You are sitting in a room. You hear a clock ticking... is the ticking sound slower than, the same as, or faster than your heart beat? Does the clicking of the clock throw you off at all? Does it seem the wrong speed? Clock ticking drives me nuts when my levels are off and the rate of the tic is off in relation to the beat of my heart. Think about it... how many of you have had that feeling and may, or may not, have linked it to a common sound that you've heard since you were a baby? Is that hypochondria? Ever been with friends or family outside in the evening, or early morning? Standing, or sitting, enjoying a drink, a snack, a meal, some conversation? Everyone around you is relaxed and enjoying themselves...... You're chilly and want to go inside... Is that hypochondria? There is a company picnic this weekend, something you have looked forward to every year since you (or your spouse) started with the company, food and prizes and visiting with friends and the most gorgeous park in your city. Silly races and games for adults and kids. You've been talking about it since the date for this year's picnic was announced last winter. You've been determined that nothing is going to spoil this event for you. It's Thursday, the picnic is Friday, your whole focus becomes how to get out of going. You're soooo tired. Is that hypochondria? Any one of those things, even all of those things and any of a hundred more just as trivial have hit all of us at one time or another, or will in the future. We never talk of them cuz people are gonna think we're nuts. So the things we do talk about are the things that we hope others can relate to... Not sleeping well, or constipation, or aches and pains... But they don't get it... They send you home. But things are still 'wrong'. Over and over little things crop up that cause you to react in some teeny tiny way that is not like YOU. It's just wrong. But how do you get someone else to understand? You run down the list of all those things that are off.... and try to come up with other things on that list that others might be able to understand. How does it look to them? Like you're just coming up with dumb stuff to suck up some pity. Is that hypochondria? No... It's that from their perspective it doesn't seem important. But drat it all... it IS IMPORTANT. So who's wrong? I think they are. A splinter in a finger is no big deal. A whack from a porcupine is. They focus on a splinter or two and ignore the fact that there are a dozen more and together it IS a big deal.... HUMPH *sliding soap box back into the corner, gingerly, using the left arm so as to keep my gimpy arm safe* Could you imagine what a doc would have said if I'd gone to see one with this arm? Maybe you shouldn't pick up laptops then you wouldn't have hurt yourself. But but but, doctor, it's not that I was picking up the laptop that bothers me, its the fact that I got hurt doing that, what is wrong that caused me to be injured from doing something that other folks do all the time? Don't know.. just don't do it anymore. Here's a prescription for some heavy duty pain killers, and a sling. Don't use the arm for 10 days. Here's your bill for $500. Don't lift with that arm, if you hurt it again, come back in and we'll see what [expensive stuff I can dump on you the next time you dumb broad] we can do for you. [hmmm if I add this to the points I got for upping prescriptions during the first quarter, will I have enough to get that Hawaii trip yet this year?] Okay, okay.... I'll put the soap box in the corner and leave it there.. and NO you can not padlock it to the post! Topper () On Mon, 07 May 2007 19:35:58 -0000 " Kate " p2sgirl@...> writes: > Well, it looks like we may head to California to visit my husband's > family. I do see that nearby there is a lab for healthcheck.usa. Am > thinking to utilize it and have ft3/ft4 drawn. > > I asked a question, on another board regarding Graves/TPO. > Apparently, the majority of Graves patients have elevated TPO. > Anyway, there was mention of TGAB on the website and mention of > carcinoma. I don't like that. > > On top of that, I was hopeful in taking Prevacid in an area: it > seemed I was dredging up less brown flecked " gunk " from my lungs but > yesterday and today, it came back with a vengeance. > > I'm upset, been feeling bad for some time and the last visit, prior to > recent labs...my Dr. suggested I may be hypochondriac. It is true, I > feared the worst, initially. When so many areas within the body seem > messed up...and you had a perfectly healthy life prior...it scares > you! > I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. > > I could use a pint of Guinness about now. > > ~Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2007 Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 I immediately began bawling in reading this. I'm glad that my boys are napping, girls at school and their dad at work. You've pointed out things: Any one of those things, even all of those things and any of a hundred more just as trivial have hit all of us at one time or another, or will in the future. We never talk of them cuz people are gonna think we're nuts. Your entire post, hits home. Your feet are firmly planted on the ground and fortunately, you've been able to dig in. Why am I a coward when it comes to this, I have to ask myself. Why am I afraid to stand up. I do, after gaining strength but it's still weak...and when I stand up...there is somebody there, whether it was my husband who's very strong/critical or Dr. who seem interested in keeping me down. As I mentioned earlier, I resolved that conflict with my husband but no support. This weak Kate, is not who I used to be...AT ALL. I can't seem to strike a balance, pull myself together, push aside my fear and stand up and truly speak-when it counts. If my Dr. thinks I am a hypochondria...how can I truly tell him everything that has been going on? I'm afraid to address those seemingly " trivial " but consistent " pings. " Again, your post...just really struck me. I thought I was odd but apparently, I'm not alone. I am a " sensitive " person but not as we think it. All my life, I have felt the pangs but I cast them aside as I knew they'd subside. They did. I know my body. My Dr. as he was going into hypochondria...mentioned the brain- chemical aspect. I interrupted him and asked, " But how do you measure that? " He ignored it and carried on with his speech. He then said it was probably always present in me. I then asked him, then why haven't I acted like a hypochondriac in the past? He replied, " I don't know. " Afterwards, I began to wonder...maybe he thinks I have a history of it but beings that he doesn't have all my medical records, he questions it? My entire history shows few times of having gone to the Drs. Most all of those times are due to some infection or prenatal visits. THATS IT! August of 05 that changed. I finally grew tired and suspicious of everything that was happening that just would not and to this day, has not let up. As for " sensitivies " , those things which we detect, that others don't...and if you mention it, people look at you sideways. Not only with my body but my environment. I notice things, even small things and not because I am trying and certainly not worried about it. Just notice things (I found my grandpa was just the same, unfortunately didn't get to know him until his late years). Last year, as an example, driving down the logging roads looking for deer: my mind was relaxed, saw the grass and something in my mind paused, " That isn't quite right...the grass? " but carried on with my other thoughts. Then I saw a few deer. Wait a minute, their coats (the color). I saw a color shift, although apparently subtle. My husband is an outdoorsman and hunter, he should be more aware of these things. I pointed it out to him. He studied the coats. Hmmm. I then told him, I think we are in for an early winter. Shortly thereafter, I felt and smelt the weather. That little bite and a smell of ice (if anyone can relate. lol) At that point, I knew we were in for an early and hard winter. I asked anyone if they noticed it and other things: " Nooo. Okay, weird-o Kate. " Sure enough, we had an earlier and harder than usual winter. My mom remembered my questions and when it hit, she reminded me of that. " You were right. " I think she remembered (and no, didn't poo- poo me but said nothing during that time)because her dad was the same. She grew up with a man who was also sensitive to his environment (as it was, he was a well known guide & SAR and think his instincts put him there). Yet...I am just a woman and a housewife to boot (what do we know?) I've thought, just because I sensed things other did not (visual or otherwise)didn't make me wrong. Or anyone else who apparently is " sensitive. " People need proof and proof doesn't always happen at the time we might demand it. Yet, without it...we cast it aside. I think Dr.s are notorious for this. If they can't see it and if those tests aren't glaring...you must have a mental problem. If they get that in their head, how are truly able to listen to you? Trust is gone. Not just on their part but yours. What do you do, where do you turn? I would have changed clinics long ago...if we had another. I just don't think I can stand to hear again, " what you are feeling...isn't real. Never mind, also, what you and anybody else can see (coughing up, screwed up menstrual cycles, the skin/hair/nails, night sweats) too. I don't know how to tackle this. I think I could sit in your company and feel at home and that, Topper, is a nice change of feeling. You strike me as " down home folk. " Very real...and very refreshing. There is much more I could say but think to put a cap on it. Thank you , for being you and being honest. You helped put a little wind back into my sails. I plan on printing some things off and there are a few posts here (this being one) that I would like to print (no names or web address) to give to my Dr. should he care to read them in his off time. Right now, I am in one real funk emotionally. THANK YOU for having written and quickly. I VERY MUCH needed it. ~Kate > > Don't know if you're sitting or standing right now, probably sitting, > since you're at the computer... so I'm staring down at you.. straight in > the eye..... > > Do I have your attention?? > > You are NOT a hypochondriac!!! > > Okay.. that is out of the way. > > I bet a bunch of you can relate to this.... You are sitting in a room. > You hear a clock ticking... is the ticking sound slower than, the same > as, or faster than your heart beat? > > Does the clicking of the clock throw you off at all? Does it seem the > wrong speed? Clock ticking drives me nuts when my levels are off and the > rate of the tic is off in relation to the beat of my heart. Think about > it... how many of you have had that feeling and may, or may not, have > linked it to a common sound that you've heard since you were a baby? > > Is that hypochondria? > > Ever been with friends or family outside in the evening, or early > morning? Standing, or sitting, enjoying a drink, a snack, a meal, some > conversation? Everyone around you is relaxed and enjoying > themselves...... You're chilly and want to go inside... > > Is that hypochondria? > > There is a company picnic this weekend, something you have looked forward > to every year since you (or your spouse) started with the company, food > and prizes and visiting with friends and the most gorgeous park in your > city. Silly races and games for adults and kids. You've been talking > about it since the date for this year's picnic was announced last winter. > You've been determined that nothing is going to spoil this event for you. > It's Thursday, the picnic is Friday, your whole focus becomes how to get > out of going. You're soooo tired. > > Is that hypochondria? > > Any one of those things, even all of those things and any of a hundred > more just as trivial have hit all of us at one time or another, or will > in the future. We never talk of them cuz people are gonna think we're > nuts. So the things we do talk about are the things that we hope others > can relate to... Not sleeping well, or constipation, or aches and > pains... But they don't get it... They send you home. But things are > still 'wrong'. Over and over little things crop up that cause you to > react in some teeny tiny way that is not like YOU. It's just wrong. But > how do you get someone else to understand? > > You run down the list of all those things that are off.... and try to > come up with other things on that list that others might be able to > understand. > > How does it look to them? Like you're just coming up with dumb stuff to > suck up some pity. > > Is that hypochondria? > > No... It's that from their perspective it doesn't seem important. But > drat it all... it IS IMPORTANT. > > So who's wrong? I think they are. > > A splinter in a finger is no big deal. A whack from a porcupine is. > > They focus on a splinter or two and ignore the fact that there are a > dozen more and together it IS a big deal.... > > HUMPH > > *sliding soap box back into the corner, gingerly, using the left arm so > as to keep my gimpy arm safe* > > Could you imagine what a doc would have said if I'd gone to see one with > this arm? > > Maybe you shouldn't pick up laptops then you wouldn't have hurt yourself. > > But but but, doctor, it's not that I was picking up the laptop that > bothers me, its the fact that I got hurt doing that, what is wrong that > caused me to be injured from doing something that other folks do all the > time? > > Don't know.. just don't do it anymore. Here's a prescription for some > heavy duty pain killers, and a sling. Don't use the arm for 10 days. > Here's your bill for $500. Don't lift with that arm, if you hurt it > again, come back in and we'll see what > > [expensive stuff I can dump on you the next time you dumb broad] > > we can do for you. > > [hmmm if I add this to the points I got for upping prescriptions during > the first quarter, will I have enough to get that Hawaii trip yet this > year?] > > Okay, okay.... I'll put the soap box in the corner and leave it there.. > and NO you can not padlock it to the post! > > Topper () > > On Mon, 07 May 2007 19:35:58 -0000 " Kate " writes: > > Well, it looks like we may head to California to visit my husband's > > family. I do see that nearby there is a lab for healthcheck.usa. Am > > thinking to utilize it and have ft3/ft4 drawn. > > > > I asked a question, on another board regarding Graves/TPO. > > Apparently, the majority of Graves patients have elevated TPO. > > Anyway, there was mention of TGAB on the website and mention of > > carcinoma. I don't like that. > > > > On top of that, I was hopeful in taking Prevacid in an area: it > > seemed I was dredging up less brown flecked " gunk " from my lungs but > > yesterday and today, it came back with a vengeance. > > > > I'm upset, been feeling bad for some time and the last visit, prior to > > recent labs...my Dr. suggested I may be hypochondriac. It is true, I > > feared the worst, initially. When so many areas within the body seem > > messed up...and you had a perfectly healthy life prior...it scares > > you! > > I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. > > > > I could use a pint of Guinness about now. > > > > ~Kate > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2007 Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 Kate, we deal with and realize this stuff in stages... One of the first, most important stages is when it hits you that you aren't wrong. When you begin to question how you are treated, why things are 'off' and that it SUCKS that you keep getting blown off. My the doc, husband, friends, boss, whoever. From there, at least in me, you start to rally. It's like getting a 'mad' building up inside of you and as it builds you get more and more ticked off with being looked down on and trivialized. I was in a really bad spot when my 'mad' sprouted. I had reached the point where I stopped breathing a lot.. like some kind of waking sleep apnea, it scared me... I mean it really scared me. I knew what I used to be like, what I used to love to do, how I lived my life.. that wasn't a dream. For ten years doctors told me that it was in my head, imagined made up, nothing important, all my fault, just get off your fat butt and exercise. Hold it. Okay. I admit I'm not exactly in the same boat you guys are, my thyroid thing is genetic, I'm hypo cuz they killed my gland with radiation. But how come all these things happen to me AFTER they killed it yet it has nothing to do with the thyroid, well, lack of thyroid (that was their fault) it has to do with my stupidity, sloth, negligence and that I got myself fat? I guess what happened to me that day was that they'd already messed me up so bad I was probably dying, and no one cared. So I couldn't do any worse on my own, could I? That was the whole thing behind me starting self treating. Long story short... ten years of misery with docs and ending up on crutches cuz I was the one that was dumb. Then losing job, home, car, insurance and having NO meds. Then pretty much waiting to die and have it over with. Start self treating and in just a few months, no crutches, few more months no more chronic pain.. on a REALLY minuscule dose of natural thyroid.. what did that say? It said that the dumb docs, through their negligence in not listening to me were the cause of it all, NOT me. Anyway.. stages... first you have to have it click in your brain that it's not right, and that it's not being right has nothing to do with what you did or are, doing... from there you get the hutzbah (courage, anger, MAD) To stand up tall and say that it's ENOUGH!!! It will come. That courage, that stand. It's started in you. It's started in a lot of the people here, cuz if they didn't know deep down inside that it wasn't right, why would they have been searching for a support group, or found the ThyroPhoenix website and the link to come here?? You know what is feel is real, not in your head. You know it's not the way it's supposed to be. You now know that it's possible to make it a LOT better. Go for it girl. All of you. Go for it! Collect your information. Ask questions and get answers until it makes sense inside of you, then stomp those feet and make them make it right, if they can't fire their lazy ignorant selves and find someone that will do the job they are being paid to do, make you healthy. If you have to ask the same thing 10 ways to get 20 answers until it makes sense you go ahead and do just that. No one here will tell you to knock it off, no one will call you dumb, no one will call you lazy... We'll just keep answering until someone finds the works to say that will click in your brain and it will all make sense.. .that will be the loading of your cannon... they, babe, you're ready for bear! 'nuff said! *polishing the lenses on the spare fog lights in case anyone is having trouble seeing though the brain fog* Your story of observation of surroundings.. that hits home.. we've had discussions here in the past about how we, as a group, seem to be more empathetic than most normal folks.... I think that has a LOT to do with our powers of observation and how we pick up on things... that story didn't sound at all odd to me. Didn't mean to make your cry.. but hope that nudge you a bit to the mad and strong stage.. I think you're on your way. *smile* Topper () On Mon, 07 May 2007 22:38:53 -0000 " Kate " p2sgirl@...> writes: > I immediately began bawling in reading this. I'm glad that my boys > are napping, girls at school and their dad at work. > You've pointed out things: Any one of those things, even all of > those > things and any of a hundred more just as trivial have hit all of us > at one time or another, or will in the future. We never talk of them > cuz people are gonna think we're nuts. > > Your entire post, hits home. Your feet are firmly planted on the > ground and fortunately, you've been able to dig in. Why am I a > coward > when it comes to this, I have to ask myself. Why am I afraid to > stand > up. I do, after gaining strength but it's still weak...and when I > stand up...there is somebody there, whether it was my husband who's > very strong/critical or Dr. who seem interested in keeping me down. > As I mentioned earlier, I resolved that conflict with my husband but > no support. > > This weak Kate, is not who I used to be...AT ALL. I can't seem to > strike a balance, pull myself together, push aside my fear and stand > up and truly speak-when it counts. > If my Dr. thinks I am a hypochondria...how can I truly tell him > everything that has been going on? I'm afraid to address those > seemingly " trivial " but consistent " pings. " > > Again, your post...just really struck me. I thought I was odd but > apparently, I'm not alone. > > I am a " sensitive " person but not as we think it. All my life, I > have > felt the pangs but I cast them aside as I knew they'd subside. They > did. I know my body. > > My Dr. as he was going into hypochondria...mentioned the brain- > chemical aspect. I interrupted him and asked, " But how do you > measure > that? " He ignored it and carried on with his speech. He then said it > was probably always present in me. I then asked him, then why > haven't > I acted like a hypochondriac in the past? He replied, " I don't know. " > > Afterwards, I began to wonder...maybe he thinks I have a history of > it but beings that he doesn't have all my medical records, he > questions it? > > My entire history shows few times of having gone to the Drs. Most > all > of those times are due to some infection or prenatal visits. THATS > IT! > > August of 05 that changed. I finally grew tired and suspicious of > everything that was happening that just would not and to this day, > has not let up. > > As for " sensitivies " , those things which we detect, that others > don't...and if you mention it, people look at you sideways. Not only > with my body but my environment. > > I notice things, even small things and not because I am trying and > certainly not worried about it. Just notice things (I found my > grandpa was just the same, unfortunately didn't get to know him > until his late years). > > Last year, as an example, driving down the logging roads looking for > deer: my mind was relaxed, saw the grass and something in my mind > paused, " That isn't quite right...the grass? " but carried on with my > other thoughts. Then I saw a few deer. Wait a minute, their coats > (the color). I saw a color shift, although apparently subtle. My > husband is an outdoorsman and hunter, he should be more aware of > these things. I pointed it out to him. He studied the coats. Hmmm. I > then told him, I think we are in for an early winter. Shortly > thereafter, I felt and smelt the weather. That little bite and a > smell of ice (if anyone can relate. lol) At that point, I knew we > were in for an early and hard winter. > > I asked anyone if they noticed it and other things: " Nooo. Okay, > weird-o Kate. " > > Sure enough, we had an earlier and harder than usual winter. My mom > remembered my questions and when it hit, she reminded me of > that. " You were right. " I think she remembered (and no, didn't poo- > poo me but said nothing during that time)because her dad was the > same. She grew up with a man who was also sensitive to his > environment (as it was, he was a well known guide & SAR and think > his instincts put him there). > > I've thought, just because I sensed things other did not (visual or > otherwise)didn't make me wrong. Or anyone else who apparently > is " sensitive. " People need proof and proof doesn't always happen at > the time we might demand it. Yet, without it...we cast it aside. I > think Dr.s are notorious for this. If they can't see it and if those > tests aren't glaring...you must have a mental problem. > If they get that in their head, how are truly able to listen to you? > Trust is gone. Not just on their part but yours. What do you do, > where do you turn? I would have changed clinics long ago...if we had > another. > > I just don't think I can stand to hear again, " what you are > feeling...isn't real. Never mind, also, what you and anybody else > can > see (coughing up, screwed up menstrual cycles, the skin/hair/nails, > night sweats) too. > > I don't know how to tackle this. > > I think I could sit in your company and feel at home and that, > Topper, is a nice change of feeling. You strike me as " down home > folk. " Very real...and very refreshing. > > There is much more I could say but think to put a cap on it. > > Thank you , for being you and being honest. You helped put a > little wind back into my sails. > > I plan on printing some things off and there are a few posts here > (this being one) that I would like to print (no names or web > address) > to give to my Dr. should he care to read them in his off time. > > Right now, I am in one real funk emotionally. THANK YOU for having > written and quickly. I VERY MUCH needed it. > > ~Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Everything you've said here is so true ! I once told my ex husband that I could smell the rain and feel the air on my skin. He laughed at me and told me I was rediculous. But since my first pregnancy my skin has been so sensitive that I can't bear to feel anyone's breath on it. Being afraid and feeling weak - both physically and mentally/spiritually - is part of hypo. It's difficult to stand up for yourself and face the ridicule of others. One always has a tendancy to think that perhaps it's us that is wrong, and everyone else is right. That's hypo. But why should anyone else know better than us what is going on in our bodies ? We live in them, after all, and nobody else does. The best advice I was ever given was to have the courage of my convictions, and I have always tried to live by that. I will not let anyone deny my feelings and my symptoms. Just because it isn't true for them doesn't mean it isn't true for me. And my attitude to doctors is : just because you don't know what is wrong with me, doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong with me. It's all too easy to blame the patient and tell them they have a mental problem in order to hide their ignorance. The last one that told me that got the fright of his life, and now knows that aggression is also a symptom of hypo ! lol Stick to your guns. You are the only one who knows how you really feel. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't possibly feel what you feel. All my life I've felt as if something was missing in me. The only way I could describe it was that I felt like an engine trying to run without oil. Obviously that went down like a lead balloon with doctors. lol They seem to have very lateral thinking. But in the end I was right. There was something missing. Thyroid hormone. Listen to your body and it will tell you what you need. All the best, Lili > >I immediately began bawling in reading this. I'm glad that my boys >are napping, girls at school and their dad at work. > >You've pointed out things: Any one of those things, even all of those >things and any of a hundred more just as trivial have hit all of us >at one time or another, or will in the future. We never talk of them >cuz people are gonna think we're nuts. > >Your entire post, hits home. Your feet are firmly planted on the >ground and fortunately, you've been able to dig in. Why am I a coward >when it comes to this, I have to ask myself. Why am I afraid to stand >up. I do, after gaining strength but it's still weak...and when I >stand up...there is somebody there, whether it was my husband who's >very strong/critical or Dr. who seem interested in keeping me down. >As I mentioned earlier, I resolved that conflict with my husband but >no support. > >This weak Kate, is not who I used to be...AT ALL. I can't seem to >strike a balance, pull myself together, push aside my fear and stand >up and truly speak-when it counts. >If my Dr. thinks I am a hypochondria...how can I truly tell him >everything that has been going on? I'm afraid to address those >seemingly " trivial " but consistent " pings. " > >Again, your post...just really struck me. I thought I was odd but >apparently, I'm not alone. > >I am a " sensitive " person but not as we think it. All my life, I have >felt the pangs but I cast them aside as I knew they'd subside. They >did. I know my body. > >My Dr. as he was going into hypochondria...mentioned the brain- >chemical aspect. I interrupted him and asked, " But how do you measure >that? " He ignored it and carried on with his speech. He then said it >was probably always present in me. I then asked him, then why haven't >I acted like a hypochondriac in the past? He replied, " I don't know. " >Afterwards, I began to wonder...maybe he thinks I have a history of >it but beings that he doesn't have all my medical records, he >questions it? > >My entire history shows few times of having gone to the Drs. Most all >of those times are due to some infection or prenatal visits. THATS IT! > >August of 05 that changed. I finally grew tired and suspicious of >everything that was happening that just would not and to this day, >has not let up. > >As for " sensitivies " , those things which we detect, that others >don't...and if you mention it, people look at you sideways. Not only >with my body but my environment. > >I notice things, even small things and not because I am trying and >certainly not worried about it. Just notice things (I found my >grandpa was just the same, unfortunately didn't get to know him until >his late years). > >Last year, as an example, driving down the logging roads looking for >deer: my mind was relaxed, saw the grass and something in my mind >paused, " That isn't quite right...the grass? " but carried on with my >other thoughts. Then I saw a few deer. Wait a minute, their coats >(the color). I saw a color shift, although apparently subtle. My >husband is an outdoorsman and hunter, he should be more aware of >these things. I pointed it out to him. He studied the coats. Hmmm. I >then told him, I think we are in for an early winter. Shortly >thereafter, I felt and smelt the weather. That little bite and a >smell of ice (if anyone can relate. lol) At that point, I knew we >were in for an early and hard winter. > >I asked anyone if they noticed it and other things: " Nooo. Okay, >weird-o Kate. " > >Sure enough, we had an earlier and harder than usual winter. My mom >remembered my questions and when it hit, she reminded me of >that. " You were right. " I think she remembered (and no, didn't poo- >poo me but said nothing during that time)because her dad was the >same. She grew up with a man who was also sensitive to his >environment (as it was, he was a well known guide & SAR and think his >instincts put him there). > >I've thought, just because I sensed things other did not (visual or >otherwise)didn't make me wrong. Or anyone else who apparently >is " sensitive. " People need proof and proof doesn't always happen at >the time we might demand it. Yet, without it...we cast it aside. I >think Dr.s are notorious for this. If they can't see it and if those >tests aren't glaring...you must have a mental problem. >If they get that in their head, how are truly able to listen to you? >Trust is gone. Not just on their part but yours. What do you do, >where do you turn? I would have changed clinics long ago...if we had >another. > >I just don't think I can stand to hear again, " what you are >feeling...isn't real. Never mind, also, what you and anybody else can >see (coughing up, screwed up menstrual cycles, the skin/hair/nails, >night sweats) too. > >I don't know how to tackle this. > >I think I could sit in your company and feel at home and that, >Topper, is a nice change of feeling. You strike me as " down home >folk. " Very real...and very refreshing. > >There is much more I could say but think to put a cap on it. > >Thank you , for being you and being honest. You helped put a >little wind back into my sails. > >I plan on printing some things off and there are a few posts here >(this being one) that I would like to print (no names or web address) >to give to my Dr. should he care to read them in his off time. > >Right now, I am in one real funk emotionally. THANK YOU for having >written and quickly. I VERY MUCH needed it. > >~Kate > > > > > > > > > > Don't know if you're sitting or standing right now, probably >sitting, > > since you're at the computer... so I'm staring down at you.. >straight in > > the eye..... > > > > Do I have your attention?? > > > > You are NOT a hypochondriac!!! > > > > Okay.. that is out of the way. > > > > I bet a bunch of you can relate to this.... You are sitting in a >room. > > You hear a clock ticking... is the ticking sound slower than, the >same > > as, or faster than your heart beat? > > > > Does the clicking of the clock throw you off at all? Does it seem >the > > wrong speed? Clock ticking drives me nuts when my levels are off >and the > > rate of the tic is off in relation to the beat of my heart. Think >about > > it... how many of you have had that feeling and may, or may not, >have > > linked it to a common sound that you've heard since you were a baby? > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > Ever been with friends or family outside in the evening, or early > > morning? Standing, or sitting, enjoying a drink, a snack, a meal, >some > > conversation? Everyone around you is relaxed and enjoying > > themselves...... You're chilly and want to go inside... > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > There is a company picnic this weekend, something you have looked >forward > > to every year since you (or your spouse) started with the company, >food > > and prizes and visiting with friends and the most gorgeous park in >your > > city. Silly races and games for adults and kids. You've been talking > > about it since the date for this year's picnic was announced last >winter. > > You've been determined that nothing is going to spoil this event >for you. > > It's Thursday, the picnic is Friday, your whole focus becomes how >to get > > out of going. You're soooo tired. > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > Any one of those things, even all of those things and any of a >hundred > > more just as trivial have hit all of us at one time or another, or >will > > in the future. We never talk of them cuz people are gonna think >we're > > nuts. So the things we do talk about are the things that we hope >others > > can relate to... Not sleeping well, or constipation, or aches and > > pains... But they don't get it... They send you home. But things are > > still 'wrong'. Over and over little things crop up that cause you to > > react in some teeny tiny way that is not like YOU. It's just wrong. >But > > how do you get someone else to understand? > > > > You run down the list of all those things that are off.... and try >to > > come up with other things on that list that others might be able to > > understand. > > > > How does it look to them? Like you're just coming up with dumb >stuff to > > suck up some pity. > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > No... It's that from their perspective it doesn't seem important. >But > > drat it all... it IS IMPORTANT. > > > > So who's wrong? I think they are. > > > > A splinter in a finger is no big deal. A whack from a porcupine is. > > > > They focus on a splinter or two and ignore the fact that there are a > > dozen more and together it IS a big deal.... > > > > HUMPH > > > > *sliding soap box back into the corner, gingerly, using the left >arm so > > as to keep my gimpy arm safe* > > > > Could you imagine what a doc would have said if I'd gone to see one >with > > this arm? > > > > Maybe you shouldn't pick up laptops then you wouldn't have hurt >yourself. > > > > But but but, doctor, it's not that I was picking up the laptop that > > bothers me, its the fact that I got hurt doing that, what is wrong >that > > caused me to be injured from doing something that other folks do >all the > > time? > > > > Don't know.. just don't do it anymore. Here's a prescription for >some > > heavy duty pain killers, and a sling. Don't use the arm for 10 days. > > Here's your bill for $500. Don't lift with that arm, if you hurt it > > again, come back in and we'll see what > > > > [expensive stuff I can dump on you the next time you dumb broad] > > > > we can do for you. > > > > [hmmm if I add this to the points I got for upping prescriptions >during > > the first quarter, will I have enough to get that Hawaii trip yet >this > > year?] > > > > Okay, okay.... I'll put the soap box in the corner and leave it >there.. > > and NO you can not padlock it to the post! > > > > Topper () > > > > On Mon, 07 May 2007 19:35:58 -0000 " Kate " writes: > > > Well, it looks like we may head to California to visit my >husband's > > > family. I do see that nearby there is a lab for healthcheck.usa. >Am > > > thinking to utilize it and have ft3/ft4 drawn. > > > > > > I asked a question, on another board regarding Graves/TPO. > > > Apparently, the majority of Graves patients have elevated TPO. > > > Anyway, there was mention of TGAB on the website and mention of > > > carcinoma. I don't like that. > > > > > > On top of that, I was hopeful in taking Prevacid in an area: it > > > seemed I was dredging up less brown flecked " gunk " from my lungs >but > > > yesterday and today, it came back with a vengeance. > > > > > > I'm upset, been feeling bad for some time and the last visit, >prior to > > > recent labs...my Dr. suggested I may be hypochondriac. It is >true, I > > > feared the worst, initially. When so many areas within the body >seem > > > messed up...and you had a perfectly healthy life prior...it >scares > > > you! > > > I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. > > > > > > I could use a pint of Guinness about now. > > > > > > ~Kate > > > > _________________________________________________________________ Découvrez le Blog heroic Fantaisy d'Eragon! http://eragon-heroic-fantasy.spaces.live.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 I can smell rain coming... I can tell its' coming when other people are looking at me funny and staring at a fairly clear sky.... I've been known to get up and shut windows a few minutes before rain drops start falling. I LOVE the feeling of air on my skin.. I feel as though something is missing if I'm in a still room. I'll pick up something to fan myself lots of times just to have that stimulation... never really thought of that before... Oh.. I LOVE that... and engine running without oil!! that's a VERY good description. Reminds me of another line.. the little engine that does the 'I think I can, I think I can'... that's how I feel sometimes.. my mind wants to do stuff but my body can't.... Just one more clue that we're not lazy... a Lazy person doesn't want to do anything... we do.. just can't when we are feeling crappy. Topper () On Tue, 08 May 2007 10:27:48 +0200 " liliane wise " lililiz@...> writes: > Everything you've said here is so true ! I once told my ex husband > that I > could smell the rain and feel the air on my skin. He laughed at me > and told > me I was rediculous. But since my first pregnancy my skin has been > so > sensitive that I can't bear to feel anyone's breath on it. > > Being afraid and feeling weak - both physically and > mentally/spiritually - > is part of hypo. It's difficult to stand up for yourself and face > the > ridicule of others. One always has a tendancy to think that perhaps > it's us > that is wrong, and everyone else is right. That's hypo. But why > should > anyone else know better than us what is going on in our bodies ? We > live in > them, after all, and nobody else does. The best advice I was ever > given was > to have the courage of my convictions, and I have always tried to > live by > that. I will not let anyone deny my feelings and my symptoms. Just > because > it isn't true for them doesn't mean it isn't true for me. And my > attitude to > doctors is : just because you don't know what is wrong with me, > doesn't mean > there isn't anything wrong with me. It's all too easy to blame the > patient > and tell them they have a mental problem in order to hide their > ignorance. > The last one that told me that got the fright of his life, and now > knows > that aggression is also a symptom of hypo ! lol > > Stick to your guns. You are the only one who knows how you really > feel. > Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't possibly feel what you > feel. > All my life I've felt as if something was missing in me. The only > way I > could describe it was that I felt like an engine trying to run > without oil. > Obviously that went down like a lead balloon with doctors. lol They > seem to > have very lateral thinking. But in the end I was right. There was > something > missing. Thyroid hormone. Listen to your body and it will tell you > what you > need. > > All the best, Lili Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Topper, This is so very wrong. So many thoughts, so many new thoughts (about everything) have come to my mind...that I have yet to sort out. I am left having to re-evalute everything. There are times, I feel so plowed-burried. Then this intense streak hit...a " wait a minute! " but my timing is off. Abit manic, quite frankly. I was talking to my husband last night. It was about temperature. He has a low temp (out of curiosity, we checked his again last night, it was 96.2) and I told him that mine changed to low(er) as of last last year (noted anyway.) I asked him that when his temperature raises to " normal " (98) does he feel warm. He responded, yes. Me too. If 98 is " normal " ...I can't tell anymore if I am running a temp, based on " normal. " If I am 98.7, I could tell my Dr. that I feel like I am running a temperature. " You're fine. You must be a hypochondriac. " Because of this I just can't tell based on " normal. " With my UTI, the nurse asked me, " Do you feel warm? " Yes I do but why mention it, since I feel that way at normal too? I was running a 102 temp. Anyway, I asked Bruce if we run lower temperature, does it mean we have a fever when it's " normal. " He responded that he thought so but I should ask my Dr. I said, " Right, Bruce. If I did that, he'd just say I'm paying too much attention, I'm fine. " Bruce replied, " Noooo. " Yes! He said, " Kate, you come home and complain about these things but you're not telling your Dr. " That's the point. I've done this but look where it took me. How to get mad, be heard and prove effective? That's what I can not figure. Does my Dr. not take me seriously because I don't throw a fit? I worry that if I did, he might conclude more mental issues or cut me off. I wouldn't care, if I could hop into my rig and drive out of town to another Dr. I can't tell you how badly I want to move out of this town and not just for this reason. I have thought about self treatment but would like full tests and a repeat. To see where I am truly at and a " trend " if any. If I know that my thyroid is a problem and the Dr. will not treat, consider this myself. I wouldn't want to make a mistake and go hyper (thinking heart here). I have had " bouts " of hyper. I've had moments of nerves but that isn't what I am talking about. I flip flop. I wonder when I will finally get my act together, as you and others have. I will be " regrouping " and printing things off...I have a Dr. appointment this month. I think I need to borrow some of your spirit. I wish I had you talking in my ear while at my appointment. ;-) I tell you, I will never be the same and that isn't such a bad thing, in a few ways. I just hope that I can buck up. That used to come so easily to me in the past. My esteem is shot and yes...that is pretty pathetic. You are a credit...we need more people like you. Perhaps and hopefully, I can " join you " one day. Thank you...so very much. ~Kate > > Kate, we deal with and realize this stuff in stages... > > One of the first, most important stages is when it hits you that you > aren't wrong. When you begin to question how you are treated, why things > are 'off' and that it SUCKS that you keep getting blown off. My the doc, > husband, friends, boss, whoever. > > From there, at least in me, you start to rally. It's like getting a 'mad' > building up inside of you and as it builds you get more and more ticked > off with being looked down on and trivialized. > > I was in a really bad spot when my 'mad' sprouted. I had reached the > point where I stopped breathing a lot.. like some kind of waking sleep > apnea, it scared me... I mean it really scared me. I knew what I used to > be like, what I used to love to do, how I lived my life.. that wasn't a > dream. For ten years doctors told me that it was in my head, imagined > made up, nothing important, all my fault, just get off your fat butt and > exercise. > > Hold it. Okay. I admit I'm not exactly in the same boat you guys are, my > thyroid thing is genetic, I'm hypo cuz they killed my gland with > radiation. But how come all these things happen to me AFTER they killed > it yet it has nothing to do with the thyroid, well, lack of thyroid (that > was their fault) it has to do with my stupidity, sloth, negligence and > that I got myself fat? > > I guess what happened to me that day was that they'd already messed me up > so bad I was probably dying, and no one cared. So I couldn't do any worse > on my own, could I? > > That was the whole thing behind me starting self treating. Long story > short... ten years of misery with docs and ending up on crutches cuz I > was the one that was dumb. Then losing job, home, car, insurance and > having NO meds. Then pretty much waiting to die and have it over with. > Start self treating and in just a few months, no crutches, few more > months no more chronic pain.. on a REALLY minuscule dose of natural > thyroid.. what did that say? It said that the dumb docs, through their > negligence in not listening to me were the cause of it all, NOT me. > > Anyway.. stages... first you have to have it click in your brain that > it's not right, and that it's not being right has nothing to do with what > you did or are, doing... from there you get the hutzbah (courage, anger, > MAD) To stand up tall and say that it's ENOUGH!!! > > It will come. That courage, that stand. It's started in you. It's started > in a lot of the people here, cuz if they didn't know deep down inside > that it wasn't right, why would they have been searching for a support > group, or found the ThyroPhoenix website and the link to come here?? > > You know what is feel is real, not in your head. > You know it's not the way it's supposed to be. > You now know that it's possible to make it a LOT better. > > Go for it girl. All of you. Go for it! > > Collect your information. Ask questions and get answers until it makes > sense inside of you, then stomp those feet and make them make it right, > if they can't fire their lazy ignorant selves and find someone that will > do the job they are being paid to do, make you healthy. > > If you have to ask the same thing 10 ways to get 20 answers until it > makes sense you go ahead and do just that. No one here will tell you to > knock it off, no one will call you dumb, no one will call you lazy... > We'll just keep answering until someone finds the works to say that will > click in your brain and it will all make sense.. .that will be the > loading of your cannon... they, babe, you're ready for bear! > > 'nuff said! > > *polishing the lenses on the spare fog lights in case anyone is having > trouble seeing though the brain fog* > > Your story of observation of surroundings.. that hits home.. we've had > discussions here in the past about how we, as a group, seem to be more > empathetic than most normal folks.... I think that has a LOT to do with > our powers of observation and how we pick up on things... that story > didn't sound at all odd to me. > > Didn't mean to make your cry.. but hope that nudge you a bit to the mad > and strong stage.. I think you're on your way. > > *smile* > > Topper () > > On Mon, 07 May 2007 22:38:53 -0000 " Kate " writes: > > I immediately began bawling in reading this. I'm glad that my boys > > are napping, girls at school and their dad at work. > > > You've pointed out things: Any one of those things, even all of > > those > > things and any of a hundred more just as trivial have hit all of us > > at one time or another, or will in the future. We never talk of them > > cuz people are gonna think we're nuts. > > > > Your entire post, hits home. Your feet are firmly planted on the > > ground and fortunately, you've been able to dig in. Why am I a > > coward > > when it comes to this, I have to ask myself. Why am I afraid to > > stand > > up. I do, after gaining strength but it's still weak...and when I > > stand up...there is somebody there, whether it was my husband who's > > very strong/critical or Dr. who seem interested in keeping me down. > > As I mentioned earlier, I resolved that conflict with my husband but > > no support. > > > > This weak Kate, is not who I used to be...AT ALL. I can't seem to > > strike a balance, pull myself together, push aside my fear and stand > > up and truly speak-when it counts. > > If my Dr. thinks I am a hypochondria...how can I truly tell him > > everything that has been going on? I'm afraid to address those > > seemingly " trivial " but consistent " pings. " > > > > Again, your post...just really struck me. I thought I was odd but > > apparently, I'm not alone. > > > > I am a " sensitive " person but not as we think it. All my life, I > > have > > felt the pangs but I cast them aside as I knew they'd subside. They > > did. I know my body. > > > > My Dr. as he was going into hypochondria...mentioned the brain- > > chemical aspect. I interrupted him and asked, " But how do you > > measure > > that? " He ignored it and carried on with his speech. He then said it > > was probably always present in me. I then asked him, then why > > haven't > > I acted like a hypochondriac in the past? He replied, " I don't know. " > > > > Afterwards, I began to wonder...maybe he thinks I have a history of > > it but beings that he doesn't have all my medical records, he > > questions it? > > > > My entire history shows few times of having gone to the Drs. Most > > all > > of those times are due to some infection or prenatal visits. THATS > > IT! > > > > August of 05 that changed. I finally grew tired and suspicious of > > everything that was happening that just would not and to this day, > > has not let up. > > > > As for " sensitivies " , those things which we detect, that others > > don't...and if you mention it, people look at you sideways. Not only > > with my body but my environment. > > > > I notice things, even small things and not because I am trying and > > certainly not worried about it. Just notice things (I found my > > grandpa was just the same, unfortunately didn't get to know him > > until his late years). > > > > Last year, as an example, driving down the logging roads looking for > > deer: my mind was relaxed, saw the grass and something in my mind > > paused, " That isn't quite right...the grass? " but carried on with my > > other thoughts. Then I saw a few deer. Wait a minute, their coats > > (the color). I saw a color shift, although apparently subtle. My > > husband is an outdoorsman and hunter, he should be more aware of > > these things. I pointed it out to him. He studied the coats. Hmmm. I > > then told him, I think we are in for an early winter. Shortly > > thereafter, I felt and smelt the weather. That little bite and a > > smell of ice (if anyone can relate. lol) At that point, I knew we > > were in for an early and hard winter. > > > > I asked anyone if they noticed it and other things: " Nooo. Okay, > > weird-o Kate. " > > > > Sure enough, we had an earlier and harder than usual winter. My mom > > remembered my questions and when it hit, she reminded me of > > that. " You were right. " I think she remembered (and no, didn't poo- > > poo me but said nothing during that time)because her dad was the > > same. She grew up with a man who was also sensitive to his > > environment (as it was, he was a well known guide & SAR and think > > his instincts put him there). > > > > I've thought, just because I sensed things other did not (visual or > > otherwise)didn't make me wrong. Or anyone else who apparently > > is " sensitive. " People need proof and proof doesn't always happen at > > the time we might demand it. Yet, without it...we cast it aside. I > > think Dr.s are notorious for this. If they can't see it and if those > > tests aren't glaring...you must have a mental problem. > > If they get that in their head, how are truly able to listen to you? > > Trust is gone. Not just on their part but yours. What do you do, > > where do you turn? I would have changed clinics long ago...if we had > > another. > > > > I just don't think I can stand to hear again, " what you are > > feeling...isn't real. Never mind, also, what you and anybody else > > can > > see (coughing up, screwed up menstrual cycles, the skin/hair/nails, > > night sweats) too. > > > > I don't know how to tackle this. > > > > I think I could sit in your company and feel at home and that, > > Topper, is a nice change of feeling. You strike me as " down home > > folk. " Very real...and very refreshing. > > > > There is much more I could say but think to put a cap on it. > > > > Thank you , for being you and being honest. You helped put a > > little wind back into my sails. > > > > I plan on printing some things off and there are a few posts here > > (this being one) that I would like to print (no names or web > > address) > > to give to my Dr. should he care to read them in his off time. > > > > Right now, I am in one real funk emotionally. THANK YOU for having > > written and quickly. I VERY MUCH needed it. > > > > ~Kate > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2007 Report Share Posted May 8, 2007 Lili, Well well! I wonder why some of us are more " sensitive " to our environment? This is the only thing I can conclude and would like to know what you (and others in the same " boat " ) think: while in my past, I was an active person, I always took time out (beginning as a youngster). I needed it (still do), I suppose and enjoyed it (still do). Thank goodness my parent's left me alone...as apposed to thinking something was wrong. lol I've wondered if people don't notice these things, if it's because they are " too busy " ? That and I think our minds are like computers, contain information that isn't at the forefront but there. When something is askew, the mind starts questioning? Too, in certain circumstances...our bodies like barometers? These last few years, we've owned a weather station. I simply have a habit of checking it. In the past, while not a " headache " person, would get them. I noted, after a period of time...that coincidently, I got them when a quick pressure shift was occurring with the weather. It's good to hear, that I am not alone in some of these " sensitivities. " lol About a week 1/2 ago, the weather was just beautiful: sunshine! A few clouds but sparse. I was sitting on the deck, enjoyed the sunshine but I felt a cold current. While it felt warm, I could feel a current of very cold. Odd as this may sound, the feeling felt like a layer. I got up, went inside and buttoned up the hatches. It began to hail. Odd, yes...but I wasn't surprised. Hailing while the sun remained to shine. Years ago, I was out on another island (in Alaska) with my brother and his then wife. I stood at the water-line of the bay, nervous. The weather was crappy (grey cloud cover, raining) but I felt it-turning worse. We thought it time to go but I was nervous. I told my brother that I thought we should wait out, things were not right and we had enough food to get us by. Nope, won't hear it. We got out there and weather turned just fowl. The wind had picked up and before I knew it, I was sitting on the floor boards of the open skiff. My hands were holding onto the sides. Seeing waves taller than sideboards of the skiff approaching...oh lord! It was bad and nobody in a small craft had no business out in it! I think only two things saved us: God and my brothers acute sense of timing. My brother had been in his own boat since the age of 4. Had I been with the " average " boatsmen, I am sure we would have capsized. The point is, somewhere, somehow...I gathered a sense of pending weather. Are we nuts...obviously not. That said and yes, knowing our bodies...is it possible to detect upcoming problems? Despite bloodwork? This is what bothers me. When it comes to weather or the environment in general...can some people detect other things and if so, why should it be concluded that they are " nuts. " My Dr. while he may think I'm " inferior " ...I know, if he had experience with me out in the wilds of Alaska or out on the water...he wouldn't look at me as he does. I am not a basket case or " sensitive " in a ridiculous way. I hate feeling that I can not be trusted. I'm not known, in the end, to over or under estimate. That said, my emotions have gone overboard. All that you've said, symptoms of hypo. My God! That is me but it shouldn't be me! It was not me. What I write, you are seeing sparks of " old " me and some things, I've always thought...but just don't say. To me, it seems crazy. What I have been reduced to and the experiences, not only with this but with people, in regards to this. I am left and I will say it, quite hurt. All of my life, despite being " quiet and reserved " ...stood up. I've taken hard hits on account of standing up (school was the primary ground, not just with kids but officials)...but I stood! People came out of the " woodwork " ... " I feel as you, Kate. Thank you. " It was for them, I stood. My passions came from my thoughts, my feelings and knowing that others, just like me, felt the same but were afraid. I endured the ridicule but I stood and confidently so. That's not me anymore...and that, gets me. I am rendered impotent. I don't mind the strike to the ego (I could care less) but it's the failure to resolve the issues, with me...and god knows how many others, who are in the same boat as me in this town. When my family ran into unfair conflicts with others and they feared...it was me who stood up and took care of the matter. It was me they came to. Yet, in my darkest hour...where are they? I think: don't look over my shoulder at that empty field full of questions, don't look at my Dr....look at me and trust what I tell you! You've trusted me before, in judgment, why do you abandon me now? Is this what people with thyroid conditions experience? Those once strong and yes, " sensitive. " Once held in high esteem and now, reduced to seemingly nothing? Ugh. I am sorry. I am not throwing this upon your shoulders. Your post said a great deal. Thank you. As I said in another post, I am trying to sort things out. There are big highlights/memories that come to the fore. With all my emotions behind them...I must apologize. There are times that I feel like I am going to pop my top. Writing helps. Yet, I am sorry. I do find hope, in that if this can be figured out...I may become closer to the me I once was. In writing the original post, I hit the very bottom. Once again. I am sorry because I truly do know that each and every one of us has their battles, some worse then others. It's enough to have our own but to get out there and help others suffering those too...you are a genuine blessing. If it were not for people like you...I think we'd be reading, more frequently than we do, sad endings. I'm sorry but with that, I thank you greatly. ~Kate > > > > > > Don't know if you're sitting or standing right now, probably > >sitting, > > > since you're at the computer... so I'm staring down at you.. > >straight in > > > the eye..... > > > > > > Do I have your attention?? > > > > > > You are NOT a hypochondriac!!! > > > > > > Okay.. that is out of the way. > > > > > > I bet a bunch of you can relate to this.... You are sitting in a > >room. > > > You hear a clock ticking... is the ticking sound slower than, the > >same > > > as, or faster than your heart beat? > > > > > > Does the clicking of the clock throw you off at all? Does it seem > >the > > > wrong speed? Clock ticking drives me nuts when my levels are off > >and the > > > rate of the tic is off in relation to the beat of my heart. Think > >about > > > it... how many of you have had that feeling and may, or may not, > >have > > > linked it to a common sound that you've heard since you were a baby? > > > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > > > Ever been with friends or family outside in the evening, or early > > > morning? Standing, or sitting, enjoying a drink, a snack, a meal, > >some > > > conversation? Everyone around you is relaxed and enjoying > > > themselves...... You're chilly and want to go inside... > > > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > > > There is a company picnic this weekend, something you have looked > >forward > > > to every year since you (or your spouse) started with the company, > >food > > > and prizes and visiting with friends and the most gorgeous park in > >your > > > city. Silly races and games for adults and kids. You've been talking > > > about it since the date for this year's picnic was announced last > >winter. > > > You've been determined that nothing is going to spoil this event > >for you. > > > It's Thursday, the picnic is Friday, your whole focus becomes how > >to get > > > out of going. You're soooo tired. > > > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > > > Any one of those things, even all of those things and any of a > >hundred > > > more just as trivial have hit all of us at one time or another, or > >will > > > in the future. We never talk of them cuz people are gonna think > >we're > > > nuts. So the things we do talk about are the things that we hope > >others > > > can relate to... Not sleeping well, or constipation, or aches and > > > pains... But they don't get it... They send you home. But things are > > > still 'wrong'. Over and over little things crop up that cause you to > > > react in some teeny tiny way that is not like YOU. It's just wrong. > >But > > > how do you get someone else to understand? > > > > > > You run down the list of all those things that are off.... and try > >to > > > come up with other things on that list that others might be able to > > > understand. > > > > > > How does it look to them? Like you're just coming up with dumb > >stuff to > > > suck up some pity. > > > > > > Is that hypochondria? > > > > > > No... It's that from their perspective it doesn't seem important. > >But > > > drat it all... it IS IMPORTANT. > > > > > > So who's wrong? I think they are. > > > > > > A splinter in a finger is no big deal. A whack from a porcupine is. > > > > > > They focus on a splinter or two and ignore the fact that there are a > > > dozen more and together it IS a big deal.... > > > > > > HUMPH > > > > > > *sliding soap box back into the corner, gingerly, using the left > >arm so > > > as to keep my gimpy arm safe* > > > > > > Could you imagine what a doc would have said if I'd gone to see one > >with > > > this arm? > > > > > > Maybe you shouldn't pick up laptops then you wouldn't have hurt > >yourself. > > > > > > But but but, doctor, it's not that I was picking up the laptop that > > > bothers me, its the fact that I got hurt doing that, what is wrong > >that > > > caused me to be injured from doing something that other folks do > >all the > > > time? > > > > > > Don't know.. just don't do it anymore. Here's a prescription for > >some > > > heavy duty pain killers, and a sling. Don't use the arm for 10 days. > > > Here's your bill for $500. Don't lift with that arm, if you hurt it > > > again, come back in and we'll see what > > > > > > [expensive stuff I can dump on you the next time you dumb broad] > > > > > > we can do for you. > > > > > > [hmmm if I add this to the points I got for upping prescriptions > >during > > > the first quarter, will I have enough to get that Hawaii trip yet > >this > > > year?] > > > > > > Okay, okay.... I'll put the soap box in the corner and leave it > >there.. > > > and NO you can not padlock it to the post! > > > > > > Topper () > > > > > > On Mon, 07 May 2007 19:35:58 -0000 " Kate " writes: > > > > Well, it looks like we may head to California to visit my > >husband's > > > > family. I do see that nearby there is a lab for healthcheck.usa. > >Am > > > > thinking to utilize it and have ft3/ft4 drawn. > > > > > > > > I asked a question, on another board regarding Graves/TPO. > > > > Apparently, the majority of Graves patients have elevated TPO. > > > > Anyway, there was mention of TGAB on the website and mention of > > > > carcinoma. I don't like that. > > > > > > > > On top of that, I was hopeful in taking Prevacid in an area: it > > > > seemed I was dredging up less brown flecked " gunk " from my lungs > >but > > > > yesterday and today, it came back with a vengeance. > > > > > > > > I'm upset, been feeling bad for some time and the last visit, > >prior to > > > > recent labs...my Dr. suggested I may be hypochondriac. It is > >true, I > > > > feared the worst, initially. When so many areas within the body > >seem > > > > messed up...and you had a perfectly healthy life prior...it > >scares > > > > you! > > > > I feel like I am between a rock and a hard spot. > > > > > > > > I could use a pint of Guinness about now. > > > > > > > > ~Kate > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > D飯uvrez le Blog heroic Fantaisy d'Eragon! > http://eragon-heroic-fantasy.spaces.live.com/ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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