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Re: Anger - /Jan

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I feel blessed to know you all! - Your response to Jan

is " spot on " . I share in this " anger " as well, and you've both put

it into words so beautifully. Thank you ALL for being you, for being

there, for sharing your feelings and strength. As I said, I am

blessed to have met you all.

Hugs!

Ellen

>

> Dear Jan,

>

> This is in response to your post on anger. For some, it is

something in

> their past, in the part of the closet where you forgot you had

that one summer

> shoe. It doesn't rear it's ugly head of recurrence to us all, but

creeps

> purposefully to remind us almost daily that it's there and we'll

hopefully be on

> other the other side of the damn statistics.

>

> I personally have found BC like any other major life trauma brings

with it

> different stages. Now you're angry because after the presentation

by your

> oncologist, you're so frightened by the thought that it will return

it chills

> you. Your anger is a way to prove yourself stronger, not ALLOWING

even the

> thought of recurrence and you won't accept any other answer. I'm

proud of you,

> Jan. I would much prefer to see anger than your resignation

believing

> inevitably that it WILL come back. You fight, sister, and with

each passing day,

> you'll prove to yourself through personal reassurance that Jan K.

will not

> allow herself to be on the negative side...she will prevail!

>

> As I write this note, I continue to wait to hear the results of my

PET/CT

> and CT of my neck. We're also waiting for the brain MRI appeal, as

my

> insurance company feels I'm costing them too much right now. I

will go for the skull

> x-rays today, to prove my concave appearance is a residual effect

of 47

> years of living (I didn't have THAT many tequilas!) I wonder what

provisions my

> plan has for plastic surgery? Will I put my money on recurrence

(red) or

> escaping one more year (black) ? This is the stage called raw

fear. I've

> thrust myself into my work with a force driven purely by anxiety,

and at dinner

> last night, I told them, " I have no regrets, except the beauty of

> grandchildren...I've had a wonderful life. " I'm going to drive

everyone away because

> I've allowed them into my little game of waiting. I've already

convinced myself

> he's not calling because he doesn't know how to tell me; he's not

calling

> because he has to make sure he's right; he's not calling because

he doesn't

> want me to cry. When the phone does ring, with a loving,

sympathetic voice

> inquiring, " Have you heard? " I exhale, put on my reassurance

voice, and feel the

> disappointment for us both over the line. Today is one week, and

if it goes

> till next, I will certainly be committed. The hardest part?

Watching

> everyone around me waiting as well because the truth is, the

majority of people

> want to share the next 50 years with me by their side. I'm humbled

at the

> thought.

>

> Jan, I think next Christmas, I'm asking Santa for a crystal ball

for us both!

>

> Love you guys,

>

>

>

> ************************************** AOL now

offers free

> email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at

> http://www.aol.com.

>

>

>

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