Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of us. And peace for Molly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 I hadn't heard of Molly Ivins but when someone dies of breast cancer I think it affects us all wether we knew them or not. Remember each person is different. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html BreastCancerStories.com http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/ Angel Feather Loomer www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com Check out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html Lots of info and gifts at: www.cancerclub.com Molly Ivins Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of us. And peace for Molly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.410 / Virus Database: 268.17.18/662 - Release Date: 1/31/2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Kim, I think dealing with our own mortality is always more difficult when someone we are close to dies. I know that my dad passed away on December 11 (I was with him), and on December 15 I had a mammogram that revealed my cancer. His funeral was the day after that. My grief for him got all tangled up with my feelings about what was going on with me. I have found that all those extremely negative thoughts about death began to melt away as my grief for my dad lessened. I hope the same happens for you. Much love, Lucinda (going for second A/C treatment tomorrow with very positive thoughts...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Kim: I felt sad when I heard Molly Ivins had died after fighting so hard. She was in our local paper and was very assertive about political figures. She really bashed Pres. Bush which didn't endear her to lots of people. It sounds like she fought breast cancer in much the assertive way. You will make it, girlfriend. I am sure of that. I'm sending you a hug and a prayer. Jan K MP kim@...> wrote: Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of us. And peace for Molly. Jan Koelsch --------------------------------- We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love (and love to hate): Yahoo! TV's Guilty Pleasures list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 Kim, I'm a 2 year cancer survivor, My husband's mother passed away of ovarian cancer the same week I was diagnosed with breast cancer, so my dear husband saw two women in his life go bald years earlier he lost his aunt of lung cancer. Vicky lucinda eaglemom53@...> wrote: Kim, I think dealing with our own mortality is always more difficult when someone we are close to dies. I know that my dad passed away on December 11 (I was with him), and on December 15 I had a mammogram that revealed my cancer. His funeral was the day after that. My grief for him got all tangled up with my feelings about what was going on with me. I have found that all those extremely negative thoughts about death began to melt away as my grief for my dad lessened. I hope the same happens for you. Much love, Lucinda (going for second A/C treatment tomorrow with very positive thoughts...) --------------------------------- Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 I have been a fan and admirer of Molly Ivins for years, and it hit me hard at first also. It is true that everyone's experience with cancer is different, but it is also true we don't necessarily have control over cancer. What I take from Molly Ivins' life is that we do have control over what we do with our existences. To the end, Molly Ivins fought power, incompetence and stupidity and did so with charm, humor and honor. I may never be as famous as Molly Ivins, but I will strive to live my life as honestly and honorably as she did. (For those who don't know much about Molly Ivins, you may want to read this: http://www.creators.com/opinion/molly-ivins.html?columnsName=miv) Finally, here is part of what she wrote about getting breast cancer: " Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that. " One of the first things you notice is that people treat you differently when they know you have it. The hushed tone in which they inquire, " How are you? " is unnerving. If I had answered honestly during 90% of the nine months I spent in treatment, I would have said, " If it weren't for being constipated, I'd be fine. " " > > Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't > really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday > after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several > reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; > some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by > radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had > a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first > cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus > flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't > know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's > own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember > what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about > it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were > below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here > forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am > very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. > I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to > him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down > to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is > that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old > lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. > Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather > and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of > us. And peace for Molly. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 I also have been a fan of Molly Ivins for years, having once been a Texan for 15 months... I did a bit of web searching and found this article by her on having BC, and I think people here will get an idea of her brand of humor. http://www.ibcmemorial.org/mollyivins.html I noted from this page that she had inflammatory BC, which is fairly rare, very aggressive and one of the hardest to treat. Ann > > > > Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't > > really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday > > after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several > > reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; > > some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by > > radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had > > a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first > > cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus > > flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't > > know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's > > own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember > > what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about > > it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were > > below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here > > forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am > > very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. > > I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to > > him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down > > to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is > > that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old > > lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. > > Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather > > and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of > > us. And peace for Molly. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 Heh! Cheer up pal! Hold the bull by it horns! Everyday is a bonus! You need the positive attitude to be a good warrior. Your child and all your loved ones need you. Having a good cry is good for you but stop there and think of the many many others who made it!! Eat well and trust in the Lord. God bless, Aurelia. Molly Ivins Some of you might know who she is; others won't, and it doesn't really matter anyway. The point is that Molly Ivins died yesterday after 7 years of fighting and I took it really hard. She had several reoccurences and just couldn't make it through. I cried a lot today; some for Molly and some for me. I had a left lumpectomy followed by radiation in 2004. My BC reoccurred in 2006 in the same side; I had a bilateral mastectomy in December 2006 and just had my first cytoxan/taxotere cocktail last week. I also had a dorsal latissimus flap procedure on both sides; one side is showing necrosis; I don't know if I burned myself with a heating pad or it just died on it's own...at the time it happened I was in too much pain to even remember what happened. My plastic surgeon is really unhappy with me about it. Went to see my onco day before yesterday and my whites were below 100. He gave me Cipro and says we will do Neulasta from here forward. All of this closely matches what Molly went through. I am very scared today; today I really found myself thinking about dying. I have a 6 year old child and am so terrified of what will happen to him if I die. My treatment plan cuts my chance of reoccurence down to about 10-15% according to my oncologist but today all I can see is that percentage and not the 85-90% chance of living to be an old lady. Thank you all for these boards; everyone is so positive here. Today was just a really bad day, it's rainy, snowy, cruddy weather and I wish the sun would shine. Blessings and good wishes for all of us. And peace for Molly. ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ The fish are biting. Get more visitors on your site using Yahoo! Search Marketing. http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/arp/sponsoredsearch_v2.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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