Re: Re: Re: Through Deaf Eyes

March 23, 2007

Hey Yuka 'n' ,

I read your emails about 's and 's experience in the deaf

community. I felt like it happened to me sometime too in the past. I always had

a lot of deaf/hoh friends since from 1st grade through the end of my senior

year, which was back in June '98! I also had some hearing friends too, right?

But, it take special, unique kinds of friends to be friends with me. Cuz,

there's like an old saying which I remembered it correctly: " You can choose your

friends, but you couldn't choose your family/relatives " ! So, I had to pick out

see which one would be my friend, and see if we're comfortable with each other,

right?

Then after I graduated from highschool, it seems like I lost almost a lot of

connections with my deaf/hoh friends! Cuz, it's like they all grew up, moved on

with their own lives, nowadays i only got CHARGE deaf/hoh friends (like ,

, Heidi, , to name a few), some non-CHARGE deaf/hoh friends (like

and for example), sigh! The only 'survivors' old deaf/hoh friends that

kept in touch with me, well rarely like on and off, are my 2 old, original hoh

friends from elementry through highschool years, Gerardo and Trung! These 2 are

the only ones that decided to keep in touch with me, to still be my friends even

though they moved on with their lives, right?

I remembered visiting the Deaf Church in El Monte, I re-united with some

deaf friends, right? I thought it'll be cool to be friends again with my old

buddies, right? But guess what? I was wrong! It felt so different and wierd, cuz

they all grew up, and moved on with their lives! I mean, nowadays they all talk

about marriage, children, beer, sport, stuff like that. Sigh, so I started to

feel uncomfortable and stopped going there. I don't know what's happening, I

guess my maturity level is stuck at this 'teenage-level'. and I got

another thing in common (I think is similair to us, but it might be cuz

he's a teenager, don't know if he'll out grow it or not), and I both tend

to think like teenagers, and I think I do act like 1 too, lol! Probably

too, right?

But anway, I was so happy to meet , , , , and

in my life! Even our charge penpals from other side of the world: ,

Chantelle, and Belinda! I think of them as my pen pals buddies, cuz we're all

from different countries, right? It's like there's a strong connections between

me and the guys! We all got something in common, and it's like we're not afraid

to share about our medical conditions, right? I think of these guys as

'brothers' to me, well is like an older brother cuz he's older than me,

lol! From all the way to , I'm happy these guys are part of my life,

cuz they're the only ones I got. My only deaf/hoh friends with CHARGE, and of

course a couple of deaf/hoh non CHARGE friends too! Thanks for sharing this you

two. , , and I can't wait to meet at the Charge Conference!

Woo-Hoo! Maybe we can all get together to hang out, alright? likes

Disneyland, so does me, , and ! Maybe we can all

go to Disneyland together! How that sound? Thanks, have a nice day!

Ol' Chipper >

Yuka Persico wrote:

Dear -

Thank you for your heartfelt reply. I've never had to worry about being

accepted by the deaf because he hasn't sought acceptance by them. At the

juncture between middle school and high school he felt strongly about not going

to the high school which serviced the DHH along with the children he shared

class with for ten years. I can see he seems a little more at ease signing than

talking - perhaps because it is not a physical strain, and he is both more

easily understood and not as defensive about clarifying himself, but he had no

interest in deaf events or meeting someone because they are deaf or use sign.

I am so excited about and and all the young adults with CHARGE

meeting at the conference. I know that Prouty, Chip Dixon and have

a marvelous friendship. I wish I could show you what magnificent wonderful

gentlemen they were together - and to watch the three of them in their own

complete whole world at Disneyland was heaven for me. also has an internet

pen friend in England who has CHARGE. It seems their shared experience speaks

mountains between them without a word or a sign - and their interpersonal

communications are completely from one whole person to another - " normal " .... no

translation or footnotes required.

Thank you for sharing so deeply, thoughtfully and freely of your experience.

Best-

yuka

Re: " Through Deaf Eyes "

Oh Yuka,

I too watch most of Through Deaf Eyes. You know before went

to the deaf school I was warned by some hearing teachers and by some

deaf to be prepared for the possibility that would not be

accepted by deaf because of his other challenges. He sometimes seems

to be caught in a neither land. Even among our own families allot

just don't get it. Some still treat him like the cute little kid.

has an Aunt and Uncle who I almost have to get into a fight

with just so I can interpret for . When I watch from a distance

I can see that they are talking at him, around him, over him and he

hasn't a clue to what is going on. I try to step in for 's sake

and they tell me to go away they're doing just fine. Because is

smiling and nodding his head they actually think he is understanding

their speech no matter how many time I have explained about his being

deaf. doesn't even like to attend family functions outside us

because he only has me to talk with. He like doesn't really

have friendships. I worry so much about what will happen when I am

gone. Yes he has the house, staff, Dad, his sister but I have to say

I seem like his best friend. I'm where he comes to share everything

that matters. I'm really hoping he makes some connections at the

conference. So far he is really enjoying the emails. I haven't gotten

him onto the list because I'm afraid the volume and content of the

emails will overwhelm him. I feel like everyone here will be the only

ones who can really understand what I want for verses what I

see him having. is loved by many many people but he is truly

known and understood by a few.

mom to (31)

..

March 24, 2007

Hey

Yeah, I noticed that my old friendships with D/HH people has vaporized! Before,

I tried to be friends with them in elementary but we don't seem to fit

perfectly. I think we fit like 30% perfectly, lol. Middle school made them grow

up TREMEDOUSLY, leaving me FAR FAR behind. Since that was the case, I focused on

trying to make friends with kids at school. I now have 2. I would have a 3rd

but.....I never really advanced relationships past aquaintances back then cuz I

didn't know how, and I would befriend another girl at my school and hang out but

she has a bf who looks very strong. Since I don't really want to be on the

buisness end of his fists......I decided to back off, LOL. Also, she and I

aren't that compatible. Throughout my life I had been making a few friends

outside of school. Now, I have 5 really good friends outside of school, compared

to 1 really good friend and 1 good friend at school. I would keep typing more,

but my mom and Chip got it covered. And I can't type, my hands aren't doing what

I want them to do lol

P.S. Don't worry, they are fine. They need to rest.