Please help...I'm new here

[Guest guest]

Carol

Welcome to the group you will find a lot of love and support here..as I

have.. I just recently started writing here myself..mostly reading and silent

for

a long time.. Double mastectomy for me last June 2006. No Chemo but 6

weeks of radiation for me ..

Scared??? I think we have all walked in your shoes at one time or another...

Fear is what spurns us into action and forces us to survive...The night

before I was to begin radiation I was panicked..I felt as if I was jumping into

a

firepit..a freefall.. I made a panicky trip to the plastic surgeon to see

if we were ready.. I don't know what was going through my head but I kept

thinking that once that beam started that the expander was going to explode..

and

tear.. all unfounded fears I found out later. I turned my fear over to God

that morning on the table....And he brought me through...

You will be fine... and stronger as you begin this journey... when I came to

the end of radiation and I was only slightly sunburned... I sat on the edge

of the table that morning when they said I was finished and just bawled.. I

couldn't believe how far I had come and how fast it went...HOW SCARED I WAS

AND CONQUERED IT.. and the (expanded) breast looked great.. it didn't blow up

at all..

You have already been through so much... you are a trooper already.. Chemo

is not going to be a picnic, but each time you take a dose... say a little

prayer and send it up to God and know that those treatments are killing off the

Cancer cells.. It is good that Jane is there to support you through this.

We can be here too and cyber hold your hand with you on your journey... and

then celebrate with you when you come through it to health..

your new BC sis,

Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to write, so I will

introduce

myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so please be patient

with me. I

have so much to tell.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th last year after

my first

mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on Sept. 19th.

Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo another

surgery on

the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a protein build up

that was

clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by the way, was

someone

I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for someone

other than a

'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous surgery. That was

supposed

to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future. What ended

up happening

next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the diagnosis

itself. The

doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days because I

did not

have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more surgeries within

the next

couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however, he was not

doing

anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same time, only to

have them rip

open by the next day.

Whew...

Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found from a nurse

after my

last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care for it while

I was

waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon. I Love my new

doc!

He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough to finally

start chemo,

which, by the way, is tomorrow.

Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner, Jane. She has

been my

rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable, perhaps even to

the point

of me giving up!

The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides creating high

blood

pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital' for a week of

so called

rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control with

medication.

I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my own private

therapist and

our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of communication with

anyone who

is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I apologize for

this being

lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting chemo

tomorrow? eek!

Thanks again,...............carol

[Guest guest]

Carol,

I am sorry to hear about the surgeon messing up like that. There is no excuse

for that what so ever.Glad you found someone that is good. You certainly have

been through a lot.

Fear of the unknown is the worst. I had chemo in 1990 and had no problems what

so ever. Be sure to ask for something for nausea and if it don't work as for

something else. Do NOT suffer in silence. The docs have to know if there is a

problem/problems. I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

BreastCancerStories.com

http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/

Angel Feather Loomer

www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com

Check out my other ornaments at

www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

Lots of info and gifts at:

www.cancerclub.com

Please help...I'm new here

Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to write, so I will

introduce

myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so please be

patient with me. I

have so much to tell.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th last year

after my first

mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on Sept. 19th.

Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo another

surgery on

the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a protein build

up that was

clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by the way, was

someone

I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for someone

other than a

'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous surgery. That

was supposed

to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future. What ended

up happening

next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the diagnosis

itself. The

doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days because I

did not

have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more surgeries within

the next

couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however, he was not

doing

anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same time, only to

have them rip

open by the next day.

Whew...

Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found from a nurse

after my

last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care for it

while I was

waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon. I Love my

new doc!

He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough to finally

start chemo,

which, by the way, is tomorrow.

Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner, Jane. She has

been my

rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable, perhaps even to

the point

of me giving up!

The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides creating

high blood

pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital' for a week

of so called

rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control with

medication.

I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my own private

therapist and

our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of communication with

anyone who

is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I apologize for

this being

lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting chemo

tomorrow? eek!

Thanks again,...............carol

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[Guest guest]

Hi Carol i want to say i am sorry for evry thing you went through !

but i will keep you and your family i my prayers !!!

Sandoval

>

> Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to

write, so I will introduce

> myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so

please be patient with me. I

> have so much to tell.

> I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th

last year after my first

> mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on

Sept. 19th.

> Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo

another surgery on

> the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a

protein build up that was

> clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by

the way, was someone

> I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for

someone other than a

> 'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous

surgery. That was supposed

> to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future.

What ended up happening

> next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the

diagnosis itself. The

> doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days

because I did not

> have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more

surgeries within the next

> couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however,

he was not doing

> anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same

time, only to have them rip

> open by the next day.

> Whew...

> Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

> Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found

from a nurse after my

> last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care

for it while I was

> waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon.

I Love my new doc!

> He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough

to finally start chemo,

> which, by the way, is tomorrow.

> Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner,

Jane. She has been my

> rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable,

perhaps even to the point

> of me giving up!

> The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides

creating high blood

> pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital'

for a week of so called

> rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control

with medication.

> I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my

own private therapist and

> our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of

communication with anyone who

> is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I

apologize for this being

> lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

> Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

> By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting

chemo tomorrow? eek!

> Thanks again,...............carol

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

Welcome! I am fairly new here as well, but I love this group and the people

here are amazing.

You sure went thru one heck of a battle with that masectomy, however that is

now healed and you are ready to move on, I'm glad!!

Chemo, you will do fine.. I am POSITIVE of that!! I will send you positive

energy as much as I can and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes the

pre anticipatory anxiety is worse than the actual act. They have wonderful

drugs these days that keep us from getting sick with chemo, usually the only

side affects are tiredness and maybe nauseaness.. Aside from that, depending on

what drugs you are getting, there could be some joint pain, but nothing that

doesn't feel like flu like symptoms. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!! You have come

this far!!

I am a 39 year old, married mom of 3. I live in MA. I was diagnosed in May

of 05, had a single masectomy, a completely hysterectomy and a tram flap

reconstruction. I did have a reoccurence in June of 06 on the same side,

however, I just did more surgery, removed the tumors and then did radiation and

finished that up in September of 06. I am plugging along.. positive thoughts

are everything, faith and prayers, and this wonderful SUPPORT GROUP!! There are

many ups and downs to our feelings with this, but we are human and it is all

normal. I am glad that Jane is there for you, that is whats most important as

well.. someone to lean on. Stay strong, remember, cancer is just a word, it's

not a death sentence and WE can and WILL beat this!! Just remember that, like

the book, The Little Engine " I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.. and YOU

WILL!!

God Bless you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.. I will also look

for you to keep in touch and keep us posted.

Hugs

Michele

carol102163 ccjude@...> wrote:

Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to write,

so I will introduce

myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so please be patient

with me. I

have so much to tell.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th last year after

my first

mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on Sept. 19th.

Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo another

surgery on

the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a protein build up

that was

clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by the way, was

someone

I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for someone

other than a

'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous surgery. That was

supposed

to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future. What ended

up happening

next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the diagnosis

itself. The

doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days because I

did not

have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more surgeries within

the next

couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however, he was not

doing

anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same time, only to

have them rip

open by the next day.

Whew...

Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found from a nurse

after my

last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care for it while

I was

waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon. I Love my new

doc!

He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough to finally

start chemo,

which, by the way, is tomorrow.

Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner, Jane. She has

been my

rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable, perhaps even to

the point

of me giving up!

The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides creating high

blood

pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital' for a week of

so called

rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control with

medication.

I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my own private

therapist and

our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of communication with

anyone who

is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I apologize for

this being

lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting chemo

tomorrow? eek!

Thanks again,...............carol

[Guest guest]

Hello Carol and welcome! I am kinda new myself. Right Breast,

Lumpectomy, in December. I am sorry to hear you had such a hard

time in the past with your care!

I am starting Chemo next week, on friday. I am scared to death too!

we are human so we are feeling overwelmed. the great part is the

other women here on this group! they have helped me so much and

they will admit that chemo isn't a picnic, but we will survive! Keep

in touch, we can go through this together!

Kathie

>

> Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to

write, so I will introduce

> myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so

please be patient with me. I

> have so much to tell.

> I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th

last year after my first

> mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on

Sept. 19th.

> Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo

another surgery on

> the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a

protein build up that was

> clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by

the way, was someone

> I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to

for someone other than a

> 'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous

surgery. That was supposed

> to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the

future. What ended up happening

> next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than

the diagnosis itself. The

> doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3

days because I did not

> have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more

surgeries within the next

> couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however,

he was not doing

> anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same

time, only to have them rip

> open by the next day.

> Whew...

> Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

> Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found

from a nurse after my

> last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care

for it while I was

> waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon.

I Love my new doc!

> He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough

to finally start chemo,

> which, by the way, is tomorrow.

> Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner,

Jane. She has been my

> rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable,

perhaps even to the point

> of me giving up!

> The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides

creating high blood

> pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital'

for a week of so called

> rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under

control with medication.

> I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my

own private therapist and

> our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of

communication with anyone who

> is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I

apologize for this being

> lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

> Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to

repond.

> By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting

chemo tomorrow? eek!

> Thanks again,...............carol

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

It sounds like you'be been through alot. It's hard enough to deal with

cancer without having to deal with an incompetent doctor. I think we've

all found out that we have to be our own advocates, and know when a

doctor is not being part of our team. It's frustrating to hear how

insurance dictates who we see and what our treatment is.

I'm glad you found a good surgeon, and that you have a supportive

partner. We need all the positive support we can get!

Speaking as someone who just finished a year and a half of chemo +

targeted therapy, I can attest it is doable! You may not feel great on

some days, but you will get through it. Please ask any questions or vent

- that's what we're here for.

What kind of chemo will you be doing?

Have you asked your social worker at your hospital about support groups?

I also recommend the discussion boards at breastcancer.org. There's alot

of helpful info, plus subgroups, e.g., Stage 3 women, women with ILC,

and lesbians with cancer. I am part of several groups, and I find

they're all been really helpful.

take care,

[Guest guest]

Carol,

I had necrosis of the flap and ended up with a skin graft as well. I

think the giant hemotoma, post op, pressed on the blood vessels

effectivly cutting off the blood supply. Any way I was able to have

the reconstruction, though I do have more scarring than I would like.

I choose my surgeon because he did more mastectomies than anyone in

the area and had a good plastic surgeon who closed. Just goes to show

you even with the best you can be the unlucky one to have problems.

Ruth

>

> Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to write,

so I will introduce

> myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so please

be patient with me. I

> have so much to tell.

> I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th last

year after my first

> mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on

Sept. 19th.

> Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo

another surgery on

> the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a

protein build up that was

> clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by

the way, was someone

> I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for

someone other than a

> 'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous

surgery. That was supposed

> to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future.

What ended up happening

> next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the

diagnosis itself. The

> doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days

because I did not

> have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more

surgeries within the next

> couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however, he

was not doing

> anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same

time, only to have them rip

> open by the next day.

> Whew...

> Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

> Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found

from a nurse after my

> last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care

for it while I was

> waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon. I

Love my new doc!

> He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough to

finally start chemo,

> which, by the way, is tomorrow.

> Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner,

Jane. She has been my

> rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable,

perhaps even to the point

> of me giving up!

> The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides

creating high blood

> pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital'

for a week of so called

> rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control

with medication.

> I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my own

private therapist and

> our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of

communication with anyone who

> is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I

apologize for this being

> lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

> Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

> By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting

chemo tomorrow? eek!

> Thanks again,...............carol

>

[Guest guest]

I was working at the time in 2002 when I started my chemo...Had chemo on Monday

and would try to go back to work on Thurs and Frid. One time I ended up in the

hospital for low blood count and low grade fever...After being in the hospital

for 4 days I learned to take the whole week off after I got my chemo...I only

had a slight stomach ache and got tired easily...I had chemo one day every three

weeks for 8 treatments...then I had radiation for 33 weeks...with a slight burn

in the area of the radiation... I did retire in 2004...I will be a 5 year

survivor on Memorial Day Week-end. that is when I had my operation. Finished

my chemo on Veterans Day 2002 and radiation on Valentines Day 2003.

Good luck with the chemo...and take it easy and get plenty of rest and drink

lots of liquids and water which I am guilty of not doing...Have to force myself

to drink fluids.

Betsy

Note: forwarded message attached.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Betsy for your reply.

It is hard to read these replies without getting overwhelmed with emotion as I

have not,

until now, had any kind of support.

I just asked Jane what necrosis was and boy, how awful that must have been!

I'm very happy to hear about your 5 years of recovery.( I don't know if recovery

is the

correct word to use, so correct me if I am wrong, please)

I appreciate the advice and info as to what may be what I'm in for.

Well, take care and once again, thank you for your kindness.............carol

>

>

> I was working at the time in 2002 when I started my chemo...Had chemo on

Monday and

would try to go back to work on Thurs and Frid. One time I ended up in the

hospital for

low blood count and low grade fever...After being in the hospital for 4 days I

learned to

take the whole week off after I got my chemo...I only had a slight stomach ache

and got

tired easily...I had chemo one day every three weeks for 8 treatments...then I

had radiation

for 33 weeks...with a slight burn in the area of the radiation... I did retire

in 2004...I will be

a 5 year survivor on Memorial Day Week-end. that is when I had my operation.

Finished

my chemo on Veterans Day 2002 and radiation on Valentines Day 2003.

> Good luck with the chemo...and take it easy and get plenty of rest and

drink lots of

liquids and water which I am guilty of not doing...Have to force myself to

drink fluids.

>

> Betsy

>

> Note: forwarded message attached.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi again! Sorry, It seems that I have responded to you including a response with

someone

elses info as well. Told you I was overwhelmed! ha ha

Thanks again for your reply and support!

....................carol

>

>

> I was working at the time in 2002 when I started my chemo...Had chemo on

Monday and

would try to go back to work on Thurs and Frid. One time I ended up in the

hospital for

low blood count and low grade fever...After being in the hospital for 4 days I

learned to

take the whole week off after I got my chemo...I only had a slight stomach ache

and got

tired easily...I had chemo one day every three weeks for 8 treatments...then I

had radiation

for 33 weeks...with a slight burn in the area of the radiation... I did retire

in 2004...I will be

a 5 year survivor on Memorial Day Week-end. that is when I had my operation.

Finished

my chemo on Veterans Day 2002 and radiation on Valentines Day 2003.

> Good luck with the chemo...and take it easy and get plenty of rest and

drink lots of

liquids and water which I am guilty of not doing...Have to force myself to

drink fluids.

>

> Betsy

>

> Note: forwarded message attached.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ruth,

Hi there. I responded to another persons reply mixing yours and hers together.

Sorry

about that. I think I'm just a wee bit shaky and scattered today.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your situation as well. It must have been awful

to go thru

the extra problems! I must respond to say that my first doctor was Not, in my

opinion, a

good one, as he knew better and should have either done something different

after the

first mistake or asked for another opinion. On the other hand, my plastic

surgeon is my

new hero as the graft is healing well, ugly however, but well. He wants to do

one or two

more grafts after all my Tx, and although I trust him, I am not sure as to if

I'll choose to go

that route.

I really appreciate your kindness with your reply. It helps me to not feel like

a total freak of

nature with all my bad luck! Take care of yourself and let me know how you

are doing as

well. I'd like to be able to give my support to you also! May God bless you and

keep you on

a healthy road ahead!

.............................carol

> >

> > Hello, my name is Carol, age 43, and this is my first time to write,

> so I will introduce

> > myself with some info about me. It may be a lengthy intro, so please

> be patient with me. I

> > have so much to tell.

> > I was diagnosed with stage 3 lobular breast cancer on Sept. 8th last

> year after my first

> > mammogram showed 2 masses. I had a radical right side masectomy on

> Sept. 19th.

> > Unfortunately, my drain tubes would not drain and I had to undergo

> another surgery on

> > the 27th, upon where the doctor cleaned out what he said was a

> protein build up that was

> > clogging my tubes. When this surgery was done, the doctor(who, by

> the way, was someone

> > I was referred to as my insurance didn't give me any options to for

> someone other than a

> > 'general surgeon') took all my leftover skin from my previous

> surgery. That was supposed

> > to be left there for possible reconstructive options in the future.

> What ended up happening

> > next was what I was realizing was an even bigger nightmare than the

> diagnosis itself. The

> > doctor took too much skin, so much that I ripped open within 3 days

> because I did not

> > have enough to close the wound. What followed next was 2 more

> surgeries within the next

> > couple of weeks with the same doctor trying to close it, however, he

> was not doing

> > anything other than sewing, gluing and stapling all at the same

> time, only to have them rip

> > open by the next day.

> > Whew...

> > Sorry, I just get so angry when I recall all of this.

> > Next was a desperate trip to a wound healing center, who I found

> from a nurse after my

> > last surgery.( thank God for her ) They then taught me how to care

> for it while I was

> > waiting to see a new surgeon. This time, it was a plastic surgeon. I

> Love my new doc!

> > He did a skin graft on me on Dec. 20th and I am now healed enough to

> finally start chemo,

> > which, by the way, is tomorrow.

> > Fortunately for me, I am in a 3yr+ relationship with my partner,

> Jane. She has been my

> > rock! Without her, this would have been even more unbearable,

> perhaps even to the point

> > of me giving up!

> > The stress of all of this is something I cannot describe. Besides

> creating high blood

> > pressure with bloody noses, it had also landed me in a 'hospital'

> for a week of so called

> > rest. Fortunately for now, my blood pressure has been under control

> with medication.

> > I have had little of nothing in the way of support other than my own

> private therapist and

> > our marriage counselor. I am desperate for some kind of

> communication with anyone who

> > is or has gone thru any of this. This is some crazy stuff and I

> apologize for this being

> > lengthy, however, there was a lot for me to share.

> > Thank you for just listening and for all those who choose to repond.

> > By the way, did I mentioned that I am scared to death of starting

> chemo tomorrow? eek!

> > Thanks again,...............carol

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Cheryl,

Thank you so much for your reply. Wow!! What an emotional morning after reading

and

responding to so many replies.

I will be writing, hopefully daily, to help myself as well as hoping to help

others.

Thanks for calling me a trooper! I needed that as I tend to doubt myself with

all this chaos

that has happened.

Take care and I hope to talk to you soon............carol

>

> Carol

>

> Welcome to the group you will find a lot of love and support here..as I

> have.. I just recently started writing here myself..mostly reading and silent

for

> a long time.. Double mastectomy for me last June 2006. No Chemo but 6

> weeks of radiation for me ..

>

> Scared??? I think we have all walked in your shoes at one time or another...

> Fear is what spurns us into action and forces us to survive...The night

> before I was to begin radiation I was panicked..I felt as if I was jumping

into a

> firepit..a freefall.. I made a panicky trip to the plastic surgeon to see

> if we were ready.. I don't know what was going through my head but I kept

> thinking that once that beam started that the expander was going to explode..

and

> tear.. all unfounded fears I found out later. I turned my fear over to God

> that morning on the table....And he brought me through...

>

> You will be fine... and stronger as you begin this journey... when I came to

> the end of radiation and I was only slightly sunburned... I sat on the edge

> of the table that morning when they said I was finished and just bawled.. I

> couldn't believe how far I had come and how fast it went...HOW SCARED I WAS

> AND CONQUERED IT.. and the (expanded) breast looked great.. it didn't blow

up

> at all..

>

> You have already been through so much... you are a trooper already.. Chemo

> is not going to be a picnic, but each time you take a dose... say a little

> prayer and send it up to God and know that those treatments are killing off

the

> Cancer cells.. It is good that Jane is there to support you through this.

>

> We can be here too and cyber hold your hand with you on your journey... and

> then celebrate with you when you come through it to health..

>

> your new BC sis,

> Cheryl

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I made it through chemo...8 treatments one day every three weeks and I was

working at the time...the week of the chemo on Monday I would stay home rest of

week to recover. It is not easy but I made it through even though I lost my Mom

3 months after I found out I had cancer...She was helping me through my chemo

and passed away suddenly...Life goes on and on Memorial Day Week-end it will be

5 yrs since I had my operation. My story is in the new Better Homes and Gardens

Cookbook Pink one (Special Edition) spiral bound. My story is one of 32 stories

in the pink pages. My story about me and my Mom and my Mom's favorite receipe

on page A-10.

Betsy

Note: forwarded message attached.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My name is and I am writing you to let you know about a

project that my aunt Debra has created. It is called The Healing

Project. Please feel free to check out our website at

www.thehealingproject.org. There you will find more info on the

project and why we are doing it. If you can help in any way, or if

you think that this site can help anybody that you know please pass

on the word.

The Healing Project (www.thehealingproject.org), a not-for-

profit organization based in New York, is seeking stories from and

about people dealing with life-changing illnesses.

The stories should offer comfort, knowledge, hope and encouragement

with the goal that a reader gains `take away value' from the sharing

of experiences.

Founded by New York businesswoman and breast cancer survivor, Debra

LaChance, The Healing Project is dedicated to establishing a

community that inspires those individuals affected by serious

illnesses.

" Our first project involves a series of anthologies called `Voices of

….' focusing on Alzheimer's, Lung Cancer, Alcoholism, Multiple

Sclerosis, and Breast Cancer " said Ms. LaChance. " We are asking for

organizations and individuals to help us get the word out about the

Project. "

" Our mission is to give people who have experienced a serious

illness, either themselves or through a loved one, the opportunity to

tell their stories so that others may learn from the `healing power'

of their words, " said d Ms LaChance.

" I was surrounded by words of encouragement and inspiration that I

believe helped in my recovery, but I quickly realized there are many

people who didn't have the same advantages. That was the moment The

Healing Project was born. As a philanthropic organization we can

give back, " Ms LaChance said.

Proceeds from book sales, donations, grants and sponsorship will be

channeled into areas of designated need to support individuals and

other charitable organizations.

The first books are scheduled to be published next year, and will

also contain a resource guide to further help the reader gain

information on the disease.

For a description of The Healing Project, how to submit stories and

for other ways people can help, go to www.thehealingproject.org.

Thank you for reading; I look forward to hearing from you in the

future.

Lachance – outreach associate

www.thehealingproject.org

@...

>

> I made it through chemo...8 treatments one day every three weeks

and I was working at the time...the week of the chemo on Monday I

would stay home rest of week to recover. It is not easy but I made

it through even though I lost my Mom 3 months after I found out I had

cancer...She was helping me through my chemo and passed away

suddenly...Life goes on and on Memorial Day Week-end it will be 5 yrs

since I had my operation. My story is in the new Better Homes and

Gardens Cookbook Pink one (Special Edition) spiral bound. My story

is one of 32 stories in the pink pages. My story about me and my Mom

and my Mom's favorite receipe on page A-10.

>

> Betsy

>

>

> Note: forwarded message attached.

>

>

>