's Throwing issues

[Guest guest]

I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so apologise as

I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting to the end

of my tether....

I wonder if anyone else has experienced a child who cannot seem to get past

the throwing stage.

's preschool called to tell us they are struggling with how to manage

this problem, and here at home we feel like we have run out of ideas. He

throws everything (toys, cars, books) and has been doing it since 18 months,

he's now 3 and a half. We seem to be in a particularly bad phase of it at

the moment. We try signing and telling him " No " firmly but quietly (as if we

shout he squeals with excitment!) and we've been making him sit on a

" naughty mat " away from the fun if he persists. But he seems unfazed by

that. We make him pick up the objects he has thrown. We also give him

opportunitities for " good throwing " outside with balls, or bean bags into a

bucket.

If you ask him what throwing a book is he'll sign " Naughty " and demonstrate

what he is supposed to do with it. If we ask what is the only thing we can

throw he'll sign " ball " - yet he will not stop.

Now I'm out of ideas. At first we thought he just liked the clattering noise

of throwing things, but now he'll throw soft toys which don't even make a

noise on impact. He has limited sight and I don't think he often sees where

things land.

Now that PreSchool have mentioned it too we really need some

advice....Please??!!

is (mum to , 3.5yrs UK)

[Guest guest]

i read many emails on here all the time bout behaviours and this to me seems

like jsut that some behavioural thing and cant say whybut ill go back to

what we allways say on here is he expressign anger maybe hes in pain and

thats his way of telling you it could be fustration im just thinking of

things that people have said befor on here but anyone else can expand on myu

ideas if they want hugs ellen

>

> I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so apologise

> as

> I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting to the end

> of my tether....

>

> I wonder if anyone else has experienced a child who cannot seem to get

> past

> the throwing stage.

> 's preschool called to tell us they are struggling with how to manage

> this problem, and here at home we feel like we have run out of ideas. He

> throws everything (toys, cars, books) and has been doing it since 18

> months,

> he's now 3 and a half. We seem to be in a particularly bad phase of it at

> the moment. We try signing and telling him " No " firmly but quietly (as if

> we

> shout he squeals with excitment!) and we've been making him sit on a

> " naughty mat " away from the fun if he persists. But he seems unfazed by

> that. We make him pick up the objects he has thrown. We also give him

> opportunitities for " good throwing " outside with balls, or bean bags into

> a

> bucket.

> If you ask him what throwing a book is he'll sign " Naughty " and

> demonstrate

> what he is supposed to do with it. If we ask what is the only thing we can

> throw he'll sign " ball " - yet he will not stop.

>

> Now I'm out of ideas. At first we thought he just liked the clattering

> noise

> of throwing things, but now he'll throw soft toys which don't even make a

> noise on impact. He has limited sight and I don't think he often sees

> where

> things land.

>

> Now that PreSchool have mentioned it too we really need some

> advice....Please??!!

>

> is (mum to , 3.5yrs UK)

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'd try starting to use it as a 'reward' - if he stays on task (for example,

sitting at the table with the kids for a certain amount of time), get a big

old Rubbermaid plastic bin and set it up somewhere safe and give him 5 items

he can throw into it. You can make a big picture sign to show him

" throwing " as a reward if need be. That way it becomes something to work

toward (and hey, if he works on throwing it into a big bin, he'll be honing

his throwing skills!)

Also, if you haven't already, I'd start working on " first/and then " concept

with him - for example " *first*, finish this (whatever you or the daycare

would like him to do) task, *and then* throwing " . You can use the number of

items to positively reinforce desired behavior as well as he begins to

understand throwing as a " reward " . He could have a chart with boxes on it

and for every 2 minutes (or 30 seconds, or however much time is appropriate

to start) that he stays on task for desired behavior, he gets another " throw

item " , which can be symbolized by a ball or a checkmark or something on the

chart. You can integrate the language of all of this into the visual chart,

etc because he needs to learn about " earning " more throw time.

Hope these ideas help, I've used similar with Kennedy as well as with kids

I've worked with in the classroom. It's actually great if they have a

'motivator' - even if it is throwing - you can turn it into something you

can use.

Good luck, the behavior stuff is challenging!

www.chargesyndrome.info

>

> I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so apologise

> as

> I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting to the end

> of my tether....

>

> I wonder if anyone else has experienced a child who cannot seem to get

> past

> the throwing stage.

> 's preschool called to tell us they are struggling with how to manage

> this problem, and here at home we feel like we have run out of ideas. He

> throws everything (toys, cars, books) and has been doing it since 18

> months,

> he's now 3 and a half. We seem to be in a particularly bad phase of it at

> the moment. We try signing and telling him " No " firmly but quietly (as if

> we

> shout he squeals with excitment!) and we've been making him sit on a

> " naughty mat " away from the fun if he persists. But he seems unfazed by

> that. We make him pick up the objects he has thrown. We also give him

> opportunitities for " good throwing " outside with balls, or bean bags into

> a

> bucket.

> If you ask him what throwing a book is he'll sign " Naughty " and

> demonstrate

> what he is supposed to do with it. If we ask what is the only thing we can

> throw he'll sign " ball " - yet he will not stop.

>

> Now I'm out of ideas. At first we thought he just liked the clattering

> noise

> of throwing things, but now he'll throw soft toys which don't even make a

> noise on impact. He has limited sight and I don't think he often sees

> where

> things land.

>

> Now that PreSchool have mentioned it too we really need some

> advice....Please??!!

>

> is (mum to , 3.5yrs UK)

>

>

[Guest guest]

PS - I just re-read about his vision - you can still use the Rubbermaid bin

(or other large plastic bin) - if you get a dark coloured one, you could

paint the rim of it white or vice-versa and just start by holding it quite

close to him and let him fire it in. Also you could have a special " throw

bag " that he can't see through with different throw toys in it that make

different noises, bounce, etc and change them up every so often so he

doesn't always know what he's going to expect to get from the bag and it'll

be a surprise. He has to reach in and only pick one out at a time to see

what he gets to throw next!

Lis

>

> I'd try starting to use it as a 'reward' - if he stays on task (for

> example, sitting at the table with the kids for a certain amount of time),

> get a big old Rubbermaid plastic bin and set it up somewhere safe and give

> him 5 items he can throw into it. You can make a big picture sign to show

> him " throwing " as a reward if need be. That way it becomes something to work

> toward (and hey, if he works on throwing it into a big bin, he'll be honing

> his throwing skills!)

>

> Also, if you haven't already, I'd start working on " first/and then "

> concept with him - for example " *first*, finish this (whatever you or the

> daycare would like him to do) task, *and then *throwing " . You can use the

> number of items to positively reinforce desired behavior as well as he

> begins to understand throwing as a " reward " . He could have a chart with

> boxes on it and for every 2 minutes (or 30 seconds, or however much time is

> appropriate to start) that he stays on task for desired behavior, he gets

> another " throw item " , which can be symbolized by a ball or a checkmark or

> something on the chart. You can integrate the language of all of this into

> the visual chart, etc because he needs to learn about " earning " more throw

> time.

>

> Hope these ideas help, I've used similar with Kennedy as well as with kids

> I've worked with in the classroom. It's actually great if they have a

> 'motivator' - even if it is throwing - you can turn it into something you

> can use.

>

> Good luck, the behavior stuff is challenging!

>

> www.chargesyndrome.info

>

>

>

> >

> > I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so

> > apologise as

> > I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting to the

> > end

> > of my tether....

> >

> > I wonder if anyone else has experienced a child who cannot seem to get

> > past

> > the throwing stage.

> > 's preschool called to tell us they are struggling with how to

> > manage

> > this problem, and here at home we feel like we have run out of ideas. He

> > throws everything (toys, cars, books) and has been doing it since 18

> > months,

> > he's now 3 and a half. We seem to be in a particularly bad phase of it

> > at

> > the moment. We try signing and telling him " No " firmly but quietly (as

> > if we

> > shout he squeals with excitment!) and we've been making him sit on a

> > " naughty mat " away from the fun if he persists. But he seems unfazed by

> > that. We make him pick up the objects he has thrown. We also give him

> > opportunitities for " good throwing " outside with balls, or bean bags

> > into a

> > bucket.

> > If you ask him what throwing a book is he'll sign " Naughty " and

> > demonstrate

> > what he is supposed to do with it. If we ask what is the only thing we

> > can

> > throw he'll sign " ball " - yet he will not stop.

> >

> > Now I'm out of ideas. At first we thought he just liked the clattering

> > noise

> > of throwing things, but now he'll throw soft toys which don't even make

> > a

> > noise on impact. He has limited sight and I don't think he often sees

> > where

> > things land.

> >

> > Now that PreSchool have mentioned it too we really need some

> > advice....Please??!!

> >

> > is (mum to , 3.5yrs UK)

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

maybe try whay works for my sons ST at school, she said it works

with all her kids<studentsof all ages>, get some regular plastic

cups and some wooden colored blocks<smallish size>, reward them with

a handful of blocks for good behavior, and take away 1 block at a

time for the bad, for some reason, the kids want to have lots and

lots of cups filled with blocks,i was shocked at how well this

works. you can even let him trade in full cups for prizes at the

end of the day. i am going to start this soon during his private ST

and OT as well. good luck!

mom to 3 yr old CHargEr, trach, gbutton, fundo

> >

> > I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so

apologise

> > as

> > I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting

to the end

> > of my tether....

> >

> > I wonder if anyone else has experienced a child who cannot seem

to get

> > past

> > the throwing stage.

> > 's preschool called to tell us they are struggling with how

to manage

> > this problem, and here at home we feel like we have run out of

ideas. He

> > throws everything (toys, cars, books) and has been doing it

since 18

> > months,

> > he's now 3 and a half. We seem to be in a particularly bad phase

of it at

> > the moment. We try signing and telling him " No " firmly but

quietly (as if

> > we

> > shout he squeals with excitment!) and we've been making him sit

on a

> > " naughty mat " away from the fun if he persists. But he seems

unfazed by

> > that. We make him pick up the objects he has thrown. We also

give him

> > opportunitities for " good throwing " outside with balls, or bean

bags into

> > a

> > bucket.

> > If you ask him what throwing a book is he'll sign " Naughty " and

> > demonstrate

> > what he is supposed to do with it. If we ask what is the only

thing we can

> > throw he'll sign " ball " - yet he will not stop.

> >

> > Now I'm out of ideas. At first we thought he just liked the

clattering

> > noise

> > of throwing things, but now he'll throw soft toys which don't

even make a

> > noise on impact. He has limited sight and I don't think he often

sees

> > where

> > things land.

> >

> > Now that PreSchool have mentioned it too we really need some

> > advice....Please??!!

> >

> > is (mum to , 3.5yrs UK)

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

is,

No need to apologize for posting questions that don't seem as serious as

other topics discussed. I've found myself at times wondering if I should

post something that challenges our family when others have more serious

issues - like major surgeries, etc. We all have challenges with our kids

and when a particular issue arises for us, it's a big thing as it

affects our day to day life.

That being said, I don't have a specific suggestion for your situation

other than to remain calm when trying to redirect (which you said

that you do) and know that if he could stop it he would. I find that

when I remain calm and don't get upset Cameron seems to do better. But

yes, it's hard when you don't have an answer and sometimes there isn't

an answer. He just likes to throw and the experience of doing so is

greater than his ability to only throw at appropriate times. Sorry I

couldn't be more help, but know that many of us share your frustration

when it comes to unexplained behaviors.

Mom to Cameron, 5 (CHaRGE) and , almost 7

[Guest guest]

Dear is-

I regret that I have no experience to share about 's throwing

(though it sounds rather endearing - I would probably be re-enforcing

the behavior with laughter, hugs, and admiration of his keen throwing

arm - which only speaks to my dysfunctionality and is not meant to make

light of your concerns) however, I wanted to assure you that being at

the end of one's tether is never trivial - for whatever reason, and I

have been terribly guilty of littering these " airwaves " with

digressions of unlikely foodstuffs and television trivia and ethereal

spiritual concerns - so please don't apologize! )

Perhaps directing the throwing - bean bag tic-tac-toe? (as you can

see, I've given up and given in - I find acceptable ways to ride the

horse the direction it's going.....though it may be hard to explain why

he has to play the game at all times in all settings, and why you come

with a bean bag set to restauraunts....)

{{{hugs}}}

yuka

>

> I know there have been some big issues posted here recently so

apologise as

> I realise this is going to sound fairly trival but I am getting to

the end

> of my tether....

[Guest guest]

is,

I'm not an expert by any means but have been through many

behaviors in 's growing up and with our other kids.

Maybe you could try to take everything he throws and put it away out

of sight for awhile. Try to bring into his awareness of consequences

of what he is doing. Even if it means removing quite a few of his

toys. Which might have to be for him to connect with the outcome of

throwing something as in lost or gone. This way when he wants

something he has thrown back you can tell him he threw it and now it

can't be found so he doesn't have it anymore. Because of his age I

would keep it very simple. Don't make him view it as a punishment

from you but that it is simply gone and can't be found. You could try

it at first with just removing the toy for a short period of time.

Hopefully you can bring about him wanting the item back. Maybe even

set him up with something you know is a favorite toy. Let him feel

the impact of wanting and not finding it being the consequence of his

throwing it. If I was trying it with a child of my own I would plant

the toy for him to find after a little while. Try to keep it so he

has no idea of your involvment but that it was something from his own

action.

We had a somewhat simalar situation with a nephew but his were

connected to throwing his toys during extreme temper tamtrums. I have

always been a firm beleaver in making sure a child understand what

will happen as a consequence of really bad behavior. Always try to

have a talk during a peaceful good time about bad behavior. Of course

keeping it understandable to their age capabilities. Talk it over

with them about why certain things will happen if they continue with

inapproiate behavior. Always, always carry through with whatever you

set as consequences. Henry and I fostered teenage girls with behavior

issues. If I know one things it's this. You and hubby must stand

together as a team. With older kids coming in we would always have a

sitdown on the rules of our house. We were always willing to negoiate

in the beginning so kids could claim to have had imput but their was

always consequences. They knew what they were before any infractions

so it came down to their own decision making. Henry and I were only

in our early 20's when we started fostering the teenagers. We never

came down on the kid but always focused on the behavior and how it

affected people around them and in turn themselves. Some of our

situations took long periods of times resolve issues but I tend to be

like a dog on a bone. I don't like to give up exspecally on kids who

look at themselves as throw aways. Just stayed the road and waited

for change.

Didn't mean to write a book for you but hope you can pull what is

revelant to your situation and possibily have some success with it.

mom to (31)