Words over weapons, Lifetime of ridicule breeds advocate for verbally challenged

[Guest guest]

Words over weapons

Lifetime of ridicule breeds advocate for verbally challenged

By a J. McGarvey for The Montana Standard - 08/22/2005

Photo courtesy Big Brothers Big Sisters In this photograph, taken

some years ago, Saari is just a kid, pictured with Tom and

Sandy , who were mentors to him in the Big Brothers Big Sisters

program. Tom was also 's speech therapist at that time.

Sitting in the living room of his Butte home, my first impression of

Saari, 24, is that of an intelligent, sensitive and articulate

young man.

Articulate might be an interesting word choice, considering that

Saari was so severely verbally disabled as a child — he often opted

not to speak at all.

But on this day, a slight, residual speech impairment didn't keep

Saari from clearly communicating his thoughts and feelings. He seemed

at ease while being interviewed about his self-published

autobiography, " A Child Without a Voice. " This heart-wrenching story

tells of what life was like for Saari growing up with verbal apraxia,

a condition which he describes in his book as " a speech disorder that

interferes with the ability to correctly pronounce sounds, syllables

and words. " After reading this tale of relentless ridicule and

physical violence at the hands of schoolyard bullies, it is almost

hard to believe that this gentle, soft-spoken and self-confident

young man spent his formative years in a world filled with

frustration and anger.

He felt frustration at being trapped inside a body that lacked the

ability to transform his inner most thoughts into the spoken word.

He felt anger for the intense ridicule and physical abuse he

withstood on a regular basis — directed toward his distorted attempts

to pronounce the words he so desperately longed to speak.

" I couldn't communicate. And when I did try, I was teased for it, " he

said.

In a world where evening news broadcasts tell of vengeful school yard

massacres, the likes of boro, Columbine and our own Margaret

Leary Elementary in Butte, Saari's story is an inspiration.

He chose words over weapons in an attempt to rectify the injustice

done to him at the hands of his peers for almost two decades.

Saari has proven that the pen is mightier than the sword: He is using

the proceeds of his book sales to form a non-profit organization

designed to help those with verbal disabilities get the help and the

therapy that they need.

Saari doesn't claim to be a saint and admits to wrestling with his

own demons, spending his teen years feeling like a time bomb, ready

to explode. He said he escaped from the hate and anger, seething

inside by turning within himself and entering a place he called " the

black hole. " " The black hole was safe and it stopped me from going

crazy. It stopped the bomb inside me from going off. I slipped into

my own little world. I blocked everything out — feelings and

emotions. I was there — but I wasn't there, " he said.

In his fantasy world, there was no pain and brutal teasing was

replaced by daydreams and fantasies, where Saari imagined himself in

a happier place. Somehow his spirit survived, wounded, but far from

broken.

Raised by his grandmother and aunt, Saari credits the love and

support of his family and the help of his speech therapist, Tom

, for keeping him from succumbing to the anger and depression

that often clouded his youth.

and his wife, Sandy, were also Saari's mentors for 12 years

through the local Big Brothers Big Sisters of Butte. Saari also

credits his brother, , for acting as his interpreter for much

of his childhood. " Basically it was the only way I could

communicate, " he said.

Saari said that he also had faith. " I always knew one day I could

change it. I just didn't know how or when, " he said.

Saari's life changed drastically at 22, after accessing the Internet

and doing a web search on verbal apraxia. Saari contacted a number of

organizations and was ultimately contacted by