When your spouse doesn't understand the disease...

[Guest guest]

Sue and Laurel, high cholesterol is ALWAYS a sluggish thyroid. Search for high cholesterol, high liver enzymes, thyroid and the article by a doctor about that will come up somewhere. You're hypothyroid, Laurel, and you need more hormone.

Lara

Re: Re: When your spouse doesn't understand the disease...

Hi Laurel,I sure do relate to what you are going thru. I have been gaining weight the past 4 years and work out more than I did in my 20s...!I am on levo/cytomel and supplements for my now high cholesterol as well even though I don’t even look at fatty foods.I see my doctor next month. Last time I saw her she thought it was Metabolic Disorder which means I am out of whack I guess but I have NO IDEA how to fix it.She suggested the South Beach Diet and with no carbs I go into sluggish mode so I am back on my health kick of plenty of protein, fresh fruit and veggies and gonna try once more to lose weight.Like you I do a lot of research, reading and “self treating” as well.I dunno what the answer is, but thank God I am stubborn enough that I won’t stop looking/trying til I find out!And you do need to get your T3f and T34 checked -=-- we can give you names of independent labs to get that done if you can’t find a doctor to do it.SueOn 2/20/07 1:52 PM, "laurelhiker" <catmom15131 (AT) yahoo (DOT) com> wrote:

Sue, Your question is simple enough, but my answer is not. The only applicable lab result I can offer is my TSH (4.8). The story of my treatment is a lengthy one, and I'm honestly too tired to detail it right now. Will it be enough, perhaps, to say that through a lengthy course of holistic therapies for a wildly skewed hormone profile (estrogens, progesterone, cortisol, testosterone, adrenal function, etc), my naturopath began to suspect that a "sluggish thyroid" was at the root of all my problems. I should mention at this point that thyroid problems run in my family; the closest to me being my brother, who has Grave's, and we share the same doctor. So, a "thyroid" diagnosis wasn't entirely a surprise. At her suggestion, I saw my PCP (a - typically- open-minded D.O.) for blood work; I requested a full thyroid panel. A full thyroid panel was not done on my bloodwork; which I learned only upon receiving my results. Only the TSH was run. After a legnthy back-and-forth with my PCP, he explained to me that the TSH is the "only test he uses" to determine a hyper- or hypothyroid state. Only when the TSH is out of range does he recommend further testing; my TSH was within the "normal" range for the lab he uses.Essentially, he said I was fine. He said this even after I detailed my symptoms, including the absurd weight gain of a person who runs 6 miles a day, 5 days a week and who eats about 200 calories/day LESS than what my weight/height suggest for weight maintenence. Anyway, I requested more specific lab work and he refused. (This was out of character for this doctor, I should add.) I asked him to refer me to an endocrinologist for more complete testing, and he did, but the doctor he mentioned was an ex-doctor of my brother's -- whom he had "fired" for keeping his numbers on the "low side of normal" despite my brothers pleas to him that he still felt terrible. I wanted no part of this doctor.Because my PCP essentially refused to treat me, my naturopath outlined a course of treatment that she believed MIGHT help my thyroid function. Her definintion of hypothyroid, by the way, is a TSH over 2.0. The American Association of Endocrinologists, I understand, considers anything over 3.0 to be indicative of clinical hypothyroidism. My TSH was 4.8.This treatment included:Daily BBT monitoring (from July 2006 to today, my BBT has averaged about 96.5, I have been as low as 95.9 and, after ovulation, have spiked to 97.8 for a day, only to drop right back down)Iodoral (started at 1/day; ended at 3/day, had to stop due to symptoms of excess). Weekly iodine patch tests indicated contradictory result -- patch was always completely absorbed within 12 hours, a sign of iodine insufficiency.Bio-Thyro (2/day; includes a small amount of actual thyroid gland)Detox regimen using Vitanica (Dr. Tori Hudson) supplements:Hepafem, Endocrine Disrupter Relief, Women's Detox Cofactors, Fem RebalanceSublingual B-ComplexMagnesium (for constipation)[Prior to the "thyroid" regimen, I had for several months been taking adrenal support supplements (to little effect).]After several months and no significant change in symptoms, my naturopath decided to refer me to an M.D./N.D for Armour. She made the referral last week, and I am waiting to hear from this doctor's office.I have done hours and hours of research on thyroid problems, spent hundreds of dollars on books. I understand that depression can be a side effect of hypothyroidism, but I don't believe that I am depressed. I have a strong will to live (and to have a full life) and my outlook, despite the hypothyroid symptoms, is optimistic. It's not that I have no interest in activities, it's that I simply don't have the energy. My greatest frustration lies in my husband's failure to truly comprehend what I am going through. I am at the point where I feel I am constantly making excuses for myself and that my husband sees my explanations as exactly that - excuses. I have spoken to my therapist, however, about the possibility of this being depression. After questioning me extensively she said she didn't believe I was suffering from depression, but that a seratonin test would rule it out, if I felt I needed to do so.I did not, but felt (and feel) that I need support above and beyond that which my naturopath, my therapist, and yes, my husband, can provide. Which is how I ended up here -- laurelI> > would be grateful to know about it. We had couples therapy over this> > some time ago and it did not help to resolve the issue.> > > > -- laurel> > > >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Judy. Interesting about the cardio because before the hypo walking always worked for me, 5-7 miles, now it does nothing!

So I'm going to try running.

By the way, I don't have the source for this but a search will find it... the idea that muscle burns more calories has recently been debunked. In fact the more muscle you have, it is theorized, the less you burn while resting because your body is so efficient.

So the cardio is the thing here and it's a very valuable tip.

Thank you again,

Re: Re: When your spouse doesn't understand the disease...

What? List, loop, group, they're all the same in my brain. No worries. You can call us whatever you want, just don't call us late for our Thyroid meds LOL. We're not a listserv loop, but they all accomplish the same thing.

It can be difficult to lose weight when you are hypothyroid, especially if you're not properly medicated. As much as the hormones keep us upright, they're not the real deal and although metabolism is involved, it's not the only factor.

My husband and daughter are both euthroid (normies) and one is slim eating what he wants, and the other is overweight even when she's not overeating. There is a connection, but it's not the only connection.

Here is what I have to do to lose weight. First of all, I have to eliminate all junk foods and gratuitous sugars. I don't worry about the sugar in milk, condiments, etc. I have lost significant weight by eating 3 moderate meals each day with 2 healthy moderate snacks if I need them. The other key for me is cardio exercise and strength training (muscle building). Muscle simply burns more calories than fat.

But let me talk about the cardio and what I have found out about me. I could walk moderately to work and back 4 miles a day and it would do barely nothing. It would have the effect I suppose of whatever calories were burned as opposed to sitting in the car, but what would that be? Maybe 200 calories which is nothing when it takes 3500 to burn a pound. I would venture to say for me, that it wouldn't have much effect at all. This 'park at the back of the lot and walk' thing does nothing for me that is noticeable.

BUT, the real cardio that gets my heartrate up to 75% target daily, will start to really burn the fat and I have to do it almost every day. I have to sweat big time, it's as simple as that. It may be the affects on my body temperature etc., I'm not really sure, but it works. One time I lost 90 pounds from diet and exercise. After about 1.5 years, I kept the same eating plan, but stopped the intense cardio and gained back exactly half. I was still walking everywhere at a normal pace, that's why I know that it doesn't do much for me. I was also teaching and on my feet the entire day, but it didn't make any difference. I maintained that half weight loss for the next 2.5 years when my food fell apart.

So for me, it's half food and half cardio, as simple as that. I have the food in order again, and I've plateaued at almost the exact same weight as I did way back then. It's annoying, but it is consistent. It's now time to get the cardio built up to lost the rest. Maybe it opens the lungs for more oxygen, I'm not sure, but what I do know for me, is that it has WAY more benefit that the actual calories being burned.

Rambling now LOL, maybe something will ring to someone... Judy

Oh! Sorry, your'e not a list. Group then. I just asked because I always find it a bit stupid to make some drastic changes in your diet for some obscure reason or hearsay. I actually don´t feel very bad and am probably mostly okey. It's just I don´t seem to be able to loose weight and gain even though I don´t eat much or unhealthy food. Then I'm saying I eat lots of vegetables, fruit and other stuff you mentioned.

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Just to let you guys know that I went on the www.stopthethyroidmadness.com yesterday and did the self blood pressure test. Blood pressure went from lying at 131 over 79, at standing it was 112 over 75. By this it is not just the thyroid it is also the andernal gland (belive this is how you spell it). I am to have more blood work done next week and boy am I ready, I have been so tired for the last month to month in a half. Karolsunshellsea3 wrote: I wish I had an answer for you! I wanted to let you know that I am tired ALL of the time too. And I could totally relate to your description of your fatigue. It does feel that you lose who you are b/c your life becomes about when you can take your next nap. My best advice is to read and read these boards and go to www.stopthethyroidmadness.com. Because you are so fatigued right now, I would get your adrenals tested and get on some Isocort or Cortef. I am sure your husband understands deep down, but just does not know what to do. And what I have learned is that no one could truly understand the mind-boggling fatigue unless you live it everyday of your life. Best Wishes! Don't give up!>> ...what do you do? As a new member, I have many questions for the > group, but today this is the most pressing concern I have.> > I am a 36-year old female with undertreated hypothyroidism (long > story for another time). I have all of the usual symptoms to varying > degrees, but the one that occupies most of my life is fatigue -- > generally moderate, sometimes extreme. No one suffering from this > condition needs me to detail what it is like to be tired ALL of the > time. Sometimes it is merely a feeling of being in low gear; I feel > slow and somewhat weak, but I can manage my daily tasks. Sometimes > (and lately more frequently) it's all I can do to keep my head from > crashing into a pillow. I awake from one nap only to fall deeply > into another. Several days of this and I lose all control of the >

house (laundry piles up, dinners are largely microwaved affairs, the > bed stays unmade...). Several weeks of this and I lose all sense of > worth as a human being, especially when my (normally understanding) > husband comes home each evening and says (in a state of > amazement) "you didn't do ANYTHING today?". > > Having to live with this condition is horrible enough without having > to see the look of utter disappointment in my husband's eyes. He's > not there to witness the tears of frustration that spill forth when I > tire halfway through my morning shower or when it really IS too much > effort to fold a load of laundry. He knows these things because I've > explained them to him or highlighted symptoms in books and online > articles. But he doesn't get it. The frustration I feel over this > is excruciating.> > I AM getting

treatment for this condition, but "better" isn't > happening fast enough. All I am living for right now is my marriage; > I simply don't have the energy to do any of the other things that > made up my life before my thyroid called it quits. I've told my > husband this, many times. He always says he understands. He always > seems to forget. I don't have it in me to have this conversation > anymore. If anyone here has worked through a similar experience, I > would be grateful to know about it. We had couples therapy over this > some time ago and it did not help to resolve the issue.> > -- laurel>

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There is a ton of great information on that website, but please note that it is patient to patient and is privately owned and operated.

Just to let you guys know that I went on the www.stopthethyroidmadness.com yesterday and did the self blood pressure test.

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Lili, I am having trouble understanding why expressing my beliefs and experiences equate to poo-pooing yours. If I agreed, it would be ok, but since I don't, I'm all of the sudden standing in the way of helping others? I'm merely stating the other side and I'm not sure why you are having such a problem with that, unless you are assuming that the members here aren't intelligent enough to look at both and decide for themselves.

I would never be so arrogant to expect someone to read my piddly little post and automatically throw out all the rest. I don't have that power, nor do I want it. What I am poo-pooing if anything is an adamant false sense of hope. Last year, according to another loop, my only problem was that I was on synthetic T4 and Armour thyroid was going to change my life. It changed my life all right, but not in a good way. It's not so much that the Armour didn't work for me, it was the let down from the idea that I had found 'the answer'. So you'll understand why I can't get excited about thinking that all of my thyroid issues would magically go away if I quit eating brussel sprouts. In fact, when my kids were little, I didn't eat any of that stuff and I don't notice a difference one way or the other. That's all I'm saying.

It's only common sense to eliminate any foods that give you an adverse reaction, whether they are goitrogens or not. I had to stop having 'big breakfast' on Sundays because all I wanted to do was sleep all afternoon. I can get a massive sugar hangover if I eat too much and be useless the next day, so I no longer do that. The same thing would happen if I went to bed at 3AM, so I don't do that either. I will throw up for hours if I eat shrimp, so I don't do that. Pickles give me heartburn. None of these are goitrogens, yet they affect my functioning and so I adapt. No rocket science there.

So folks, please understand that there are these foods called goitrogens and they can affect the production of thyroid hormone. My research and my experience indicates that most are safe in moderation and that the effect is minimized when the items are cooked. Others believe otherwise, so please do your own research and experimentation if you are interested in exploring this idea further.

Reply if you must, or don't, but I'm done with it. The end... Judy

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Hi laurelhiker, I am not used to this yet and couldn't find your original message to reply to.

What a story. The TSH part beats all. My goodness... I'll bet you were ready to go through the roof.

All the needle work and one lousy analysis?

Thank God your naturopath had the good sense to refer you to a doctor for Armour . I give her high marks for that.

But boy am I sorry she kept you on that - well I think it was a silly routine for a thyroid problem, and for months!

I would continue taking all of those vitamins, as I'm sure you know, and you'll probably want to add about 30 more!

But Vitamins are like beebees, hormones are like cannon balls.

A Thyroid gland failing is a big deal!

As for the serotonin levels, I was wondering about that recently because my OTHER doc, not the one who prescribes Armour, the old-fashioned "age gracefully" doctor told me that even though the thyroid was causing my depression the anti-depressant that I was refusing to take would make me feel better, it was Zoloft. And you know what... it did. I don't know if it was the Zoloft or the fact that in the course of taking it I, naturally, was raising my dosage of Armour. (Are you willing to take bets it was the Armour?)

So I was wondering if the thyroid hormone prohibits production of serotonin or something... I can't remember what I've read, anybody know this?

Suicidal thoughts are my problem when I start getting bad. I had them today. Thank God it was Ash Wednesday and I spent an hour and a half at church, and that was more effective than the Zoloft! I'm serious :-)) Even when the depression problem is physical, forcing oneself to think positive faithful seems to make a difference.

(I've been 6 days without Armour so the symptoms are fresh in my mind and getting fresher every day.)

I can't WAIT for you to get on armour, laurelhiker! You have suffered long enough! When's your next appointment?

Re: When your spouse doesn't >understand the disease...>Date: Tue, 20 Feb 2007 19:52:29 -0000>>Sue,>>Your question is simple enough, but my answer is not. The only>applicable lab result I can offer is my TSH (4.8). The story of my>treatment is a lengthy one, and I'm honestly too tired to detail it>right now. Will it be enough, perhaps, to say that through a lengthy>course of holistic therapies for a wildly skewed hormone profile>(estrogens, progesterone, cortisol, testosterone, adrenal function,>etc), my naturopath began to suspect that a "sluggish thyroid" was at>the root of all my problems. I should mention at this point that>thyroid problems run in my family; the closest to me being my>brother, who has Grave's, and we share the same doctor. So,>a "thyroid" diagnosis wasn't entirely a surprise. At her suggestion,>I saw my PCP (a - typically- open-minded D.O.) for blood work; I>requested a full thyroid panel.>>A full thyroid panel was not done on my bloodwork; which I learned>only upon receiving my results. Only the TSH was run. After a>legnthy back-and-forth with my PCP, he explained to me that the TSH>is the "only test he uses" to determine a hyper- or hypothyroid>state. Only when the TSH is out of range does he recommend further>testing; my TSH was within the "normal" range for the lab he uses.>Essentially, he said I was fine. He said this even after I detailed>my symptoms, including the absurd weight gain of a person who runs 6>miles a day, 5 days a week and who eats about 200 calories/day LESS>than what my weight/height suggest for weight maintenence. Anyway, I>requested more specific lab work and he refused. (This was out of>character for this doctor, I should add.) I asked him to refer me to>an endocrinologist for more complete testing, and he did, but the>doctor he mentioned was an ex-doctor of my brother's -- whom he>had "fired" for keeping his numbers on the "low side of normal">despite my brothers pleas to him that he still felt terrible. I>wanted no part of this doctor.>>Because my PCP essentially refused to treat me, my naturopath>outlined a course of treatment that she believed MIGHT help my>thyroid function. Her definintion of hypothyroid, by the way, is a>TSH over 2.0. The American Association of Endocrinologists, I>understand, considers anything over 3.0 to be indicative of clinical>hypothyroidism. My TSH was 4.8.>>This treatment included:>>Daily BBT monitoring (from July 2006 to today, my BBT has averaged>about 96.5, I have been as low as 95.9 and, after ovulation, have>spiked to 97.8 for a day, only to drop right back down)>>Iodoral (started at 1/day; ended at 3/day, had to stop due to>symptoms of excess). Weekly iodine patch tests indicated>contradictory result -- patch was always completely absorbed within>12 hours, a sign of iodine insufficiency.>>Bio-Thyro (2/day; includes a small amount of actual thyroid gland)>>Detox regimen using Vitanica (Dr. Tori Hudson) supplements:>Hepafem, Endocrine Disrupter Relief, Women's Detox Cofactors, Fem>Rebalance>>Sublingual B-Complex>>Magnesium (for constipation)>>[Prior to the "thyroid" regimen, I had for several months been taking>adrenal support supplements (to little effect).]>>After several months and no significant change in symptoms, my>naturopath decided to refer me to an M.D./N.D for Armour. She made>the referral last week, and I am waiting to hear from this doctor's>office.>>I have done hours and hours of research on thyroid problems, spent>hundreds of dollars on books. I understand that depression can be a>side effect of hypothyroidism, but I don't believe that I am>depressed. I have a strong will to live (and to have a full life)>and my outlook, despite the hypothyroid symptoms, is optimistic.>It's not that I have no interest in activities, it's that I simply>don't have the energy. My greatest frustration lies in my husband's>failure to truly comprehend what I am going through. I am at the>point where I feel I am constantly making excuses for myself and that>my husband sees my explanations as exactly that - excuses. I have>spoken to my therapist, however, about the possibility of this being>depression. After questioning me extensively she said she didn't>believe I was suffering from depression, but that a seratonin test>would rule it out, if I felt I needed to do so.>>I did not, but felt (and feel) that I need support above and beyond>that which my naturopath, my therapist, and yes, my husband, can>provide. Which is how I ended up here >>-- laurel>>>>>>> >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > ..what do you do? As a new member, I have many questions for the> > > group, but today this is the most pressing concern I have.> > >> > > I am a 36-year old female with undertreated hypothyroidism (long> > > story for another time). I have all of the usual symptoms to>varying> > > degrees, but the one that occupies most of my life is fatigue --> > > generally moderate, sometimes extreme. No one suffering from this> > > condition needs me to detail what it is like to be tired ALL of>the> > > time. Sometimes it is merely a feeling of being in low gear; I>feel> > > slow and somewhat weak, but I can manage my daily tasks.>Sometimes> > > (and lately more frequently) it's all I can do to keep my head>from> > > crashing into a pillow. I awake from one nap only to fall deeply> > > into another. Several days of this and I lose all control of the> > > house (laundry piles up, dinners are largely microwaved affairs,>the> > > bed stays unmade...). Several weeks of this and I lose all sense>of> > > worth as a human being, especially when my (normally>understanding)> > > husband comes home each evening and says (in a state of> > > amazement) "you didn't do ANYTHING today?".> > >> > > Having to live with this condition is horrible enough without>having> > > to see the look of utter disappointment in my husband's eyes.>He's> > > not there to witness the tears of frustration that spill forth>when I> > > tire halfway through my morning shower or when it really IS too>much> > > effort to fold a load of laundry. He knows these things because>I've> > > explained them to him or highlighted symptoms in books and online> > > articles. But he doesn't get it. The frustration I feel over>this> > > is excruciating.> > >> > > I AM getting treatment for this condition, but "better" isn't> > > happening fast enough. All I am living for right now is my>marriage;> > > I simply don't have the energy to do any of the other things that> > > made up my life before my thyroid called it quits. I've told my> > > husband this, many times. He always says he understands. He>always> > > seems to forget. I don't have it in me to have this conversation> > > anymore. If anyone here has worked through a similar experience,>I> > > would be grateful to know about it. We had couples therapy over>this> > > some time ago and it did not help to resolve the issue.> > >> > > -- laurel> > >> > >> >>>__________________________________________________________Personnalisez votre Messenger avec Live.com http://www.windowslive.fr/livecom/

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurel,

How you can make your partner understand your

difficulties?... I just don't think you can. Men have

enough problems understanding healthy women!

Your symptoms and a TSH of 4.8 signify that you are

hypothyroid and you are not going to feel any better

until you take thyroid replacement hormone. You will

choose whether to take synthetic or natural hormone. I

take a combination of synthetic T4 and T3, it works

well for me although I know other people feel better

on Armour.

You will get lots of advice but I just want to say

that I am a vegetarian and manage very well without

the meat that some people claim is necessary for good

health; I am advised that any goitrogens can be eaten

if cooked properly and I do eat them.

I think the best option open to you is to get

treatment and begin the journey back to health.

Good luck

--- laurelhiker catmom15131@...> wrote:

> Sue,

>

> Your question is simple enough, but my answer is

> not. The only

> applicable lab result I can offer is my TSH (4.8).

> The story of my

> treatment is a lengthy one, and I'm honestly too

> tired to detail it

> right now. Will it be enough, perhaps, to say that

> through a lengthy

> course of holistic therapies for a wildly skewed

> hormone profile

> (estrogens, progesterone, cortisol, testosterone,

> adrenal function,

> etc), my naturopath began to suspect that a

> " sluggish thyroid " was at

> the root of all my problems. I should mention at

> this point that

> thyroid problems run in my family; the closest to me

> being my

> brother, who has Grave's, and we share the same

> doctor. So,

> a " thyroid " diagnosis wasn't entirely a surprise. At

> her suggestion,

> I saw my PCP (a - typically- open-minded D.O.) for

> blood work; I

> requested a full thyroid panel.

>

> A full thyroid panel was not done on my bloodwork;

> which I learned

> only upon receiving my results. Only the TSH was

> run. After a

> legnthy back-and-forth with my PCP, he explained to

> me that the TSH

> is the " only test he uses " to determine a hyper- or

> hypothyroid

> state. Only when the TSH is out of range does he

> recommend further

> testing; my TSH was within the " normal " range for

> the lab he uses.

> Essentially, he said I was fine. He said this even

> after I detailed

> my symptoms, including the absurd weight gain of a

> person who runs 6

> miles a day, 5 days a week and who eats about 200

> calories/day LESS

> than what my weight/height suggest for weight

> maintenence. Anyway, I

> requested more specific lab work and he refused.

> (This was out of

> character for this doctor, I should add.) I asked

> him to refer me to

> an endocrinologist for more complete testing, and he

> did, but the

> doctor he mentioned was an ex-doctor of my brother's

> -- whom he

> had " fired " for keeping his numbers on the " low side

> of normal "

> despite my brothers pleas to him that he still felt

> terrible. I

> wanted no part of this doctor.

>

> Because my PCP essentially refused to treat me, my

> naturopath

> outlined a course of treatment that she believed

> MIGHT help my

> thyroid function. Her definintion of hypothyroid, by

> the way, is a

> TSH over 2.0. The American Association of

> Endocrinologists, I

> understand, considers anything over 3.0 to be

> indicative of clinical

> hypothyroidism. My TSH was 4.8.

>

> This treatment included:

>

> Daily BBT monitoring (from July 2006 to today, my

> BBT has averaged

> about 96.5, I have been as low as 95.9 and, after

> ovulation, have

> spiked to 97.8 for a day, only to drop right back

> down)

>

> Iodoral (started at 1/day; ended at 3/day, had to

> stop due to

> symptoms of excess). Weekly iodine patch tests

> indicated

> contradictory result -- patch was always completely

> absorbed within

> 12 hours, a sign of iodine insufficiency.

>

> Bio-Thyro (2/day; includes a small amount of actual

> thyroid gland)

>

> Detox regimen using Vitanica (Dr. Tori Hudson)

> supplements:

> Hepafem, Endocrine Disrupter Relief, Women's Detox

> Cofactors, Fem

> Rebalance

>

> Sublingual B-Complex

>

> Magnesium (for constipation)

>

> [Prior to the " thyroid " regimen, I had for several

> months been taking

> adrenal support supplements (to little effect).]

>

> After several months and no significant change in

> symptoms, my

> naturopath decided to refer me to an M.D./N.D for

> Armour. She made

> the referral last week, and I am waiting to hear

> from this doctor's

> office.

>

> I have done hours and hours of research on thyroid

> problems, spent

> hundreds of dollars on books. I understand that

> depression can be a

> side effect of hypothyroidism, but I don't believe

> that I am

> depressed. I have a strong will to live (and to

> have a full life)

> and my outlook, despite the hypothyroid symptoms, is

> optimistic.

> It's not that I have no interest in activities, it's

> that I simply

> don't have the energy. My greatest frustration lies

> in my husband's

> failure to truly comprehend what I am going through.

> I am at the

> point where I feel I am constantly making excuses

> for myself and that

> my husband sees my explanations as exactly that -

> excuses. I have

> spoken to my therapist, however, about the

> possibility of this being

> depression. After questioning me extensively she

> said she didn't

> believe I was suffering from depression, but that a

> seratonin test

> would rule it out, if I felt I needed to do so.

>

> I did not, but felt (and feel) that I need support

> above and beyond

> that which my naturopath, my therapist, and yes, my

> husband, can

> provide. Which is how I ended up here

>

> -- laurel

>

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ...what do you do? As a new member, I have many

> questions for the

> > > group, but today this is the most pressing

> concern I have.

> > >

> > > I am a 36-year old female with undertreated

> hypothyroidism

=== message truncated ===

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this may sound a little cold, but i've shed boyfriends

and husbands, and the state of my health was often the

bone of contention. i know it can be frightening to be

in a relationship that seems to be getting rocky due

to something you don't have control over, but in the

end it's *you* you end up having to live with all the

time, and the lack of esteem in his eyes is affecting

your own self-image.

after a few bitter breakups, i've now come to the

realization that, since i pull my weight around here

in many other ways, hubby will just have to deal w/my

bad days. we're not responsible for the amusement and

support to other adults; we're responsible to live the

best way we can for ourselves. if we are true to

ourselves and our own reality, that leaves those

around us free to adjust to *their* own reality. if

they have problems w/that, then let it *be* their

problem. don't feel guilty, don't make excuses.

what if you had ms or cancer, would it be reasonable

for him to come home and say " you didn't get anything

done today? "

realize that people who haven't been through your

experience will never understand it, no matter how you

explain or illustrate it, no matter how much you yearn

for validation.

" honey i'm sick, deal w/it! " then let the chips fall

where they may.

imho, nin

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[Guest guest]

Amen to this.

sue

we're responsible to live the

best way we can for ourselves. if we are true to

ourselves and our own reality, that leaves those

around us free to adjust to *their* own reality. if

they have problems w/that, then let it *be* their

[Guest guest]

This is soooo true. I can't believe the number of years I spent bending my whims around everyone else's. I'm not saying that I'm selfish now, but I am here to do my thing too and if something is important to me, that's all I need to know. It is amazing how others will adjust around that too.

About 10 years ago, I did the Powter thing and lost 90 pounds, simply because it was of utmost priority. On Saturday or Sunday, instead of the usual "when are we leaving?", everyone, including my children would ask "did you tread yet?". They meant almost the same thing because they knew that we didn't leave until I had that out of the way. I had forgotten about that, thanks... Judy

Amen to this.sueOn 2/23/07 2:37 AM, "ninian" <ninian1113 (AT) yahoo (DOT) ca> wrote:we're responsible to live the best way we can for ourselves. if we are true to ourselves and our own reality, that leaves those around us free to adjust to *their* own reality. if they have problems w/that, then let it *be* their

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[Guest guest]

I remember hearing on a show not to long ago a mom saying,

“I hope and pray my children learn to love themselves before they get too old.”

I thought that was beautiful.

sue

This is soooo true. I can't believe the number of years I spent bending my whims around everyone else's. I'm not saying that I'm selfish now, but I am here to do my thing too and if something is important to me, that's all I need to know. It is amazing how others will adjust around that too.

About 10 years ago, I did the Powter thing and lost 90 pounds, simply because it was of utmost priority. On Saturday or Sunday, instead of the usual " when are we leaving? " , everyone, including my children would ask " did you tread yet? " . They meant almost the same thing because they knew that we didn't leave until I had that out of the way. I had forgotten about that, thanks... Judy

[Guest guest]

You're singing my song, Nin, lol.

Re: When your spouse doesn't understand

the disease...

> this may sound a little cold, but i've shed boyfriends

> and husbands, and the state of my health was often the

> bone of contention. i know it can be frightening to be

> in a relationship that seems to be getting rocky due

> to something you don't have control over, but in the

> end it's *you* you end up having to live with all the

> time, and the lack of esteem in his eyes is affecting

> your own self-image.

> after a few bitter breakups, i've now come to the

> realization that, since i pull my weight around here

> in many other ways, hubby will just have to deal w/my

> bad days. we're not responsible for the amusement and

> support to other adults; we're responsible to live the

> best way we can for ourselves. if we are true to

> ourselves and our own reality, that leaves those

> around us free to adjust to *their* own reality. if

> they have problems w/that, then let it *be* their

> problem. don't feel guilty, don't make excuses.

> what if you had ms or cancer, would it be reasonable

> for him to come home and say " you didn't get anything

> done today? "

> realize that people who haven't been through your

> experience will never understand it, no matter how you

> explain or illustrate it, no matter how much you yearn

> for validation.

> " honey i'm sick, deal w/it! " then let the chips fall

> where they may.

> imho, nin