Guest guest Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Dear Jan, I read about Patty's sister passing away at 47, and nothing affects me more deeply than to read about one of our " sisters " losing their battle. It literally frightens the hell out of me. Many times we not only cry for those who've left us, but for all of us left behind - we, the survivors. Crying is good for the soul though...I must have the healthiest soul around! I think sometimes we're afraid to feel scared and vulnerable, as if secretly the wrong thought will " reactivate " our cancer. I'm afraid to even " think " I'm having a bad hair day, as if my scalp will sense my ungratefulness, and all my hair will fall out again. When I finished Herceptin Friday, it emotionally overwhelmed me a few times during the day. I want a guarantee that if I do everything I am told, I will remain healthy, which I can't have and it saddens me. I think it's a mix of all I've gone through, hoping this " was all worth it, " and will this be the last of treatment in my life? I'm happy, sad and scared all at one time. Make no bones about it...this BC experience is filled with emotion. Maybe it's because it gets us to thinking about our own mortality and the uncertainty of all this. There is always hope, right honey?... XOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 , You have spoken for me as well............I can " feel " your emotions.........and ..... yes.....there is always hope.........I hope........... peace, Darlene ssist@... wrote: Dear Jan, I read about Patty's sister passing away at 47, and nothing affects me more deeply than to read about one of our " sisters " losing their battle. It literally frightens the hell out of me. Many times we not only cry for those who've left us, but for all of us left behind - we, the survivors. Crying is good for the soul though...I must have the healthiest soul around! I think sometimes we're afraid to feel scared and vulnerable, as if secretly the wrong thought will " reactivate " our cancer. I'm afraid to even " think " I'm having a bad hair day, as if my scalp will sense my ungratefulness, and all my hair will fall out again. When I finished Herceptin Friday, it emotionally overwhelmed me a few times during the day. I want a guarantee that if I do everything I am told, I will remain healthy, which I can't have and it saddens me. I think it's a mix of all I've gone through, hoping this " was all worth it, " and will this be the last of treatment in my life? I'm happy, sad and scared all at one time. Make no bones about it...this BC experience is filled with emotion. Maybe it's because it gets us to thinking about our own mortality and the uncertainty of all this. There is always hope, right honey?... XOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2007 Report Share Posted January 7, 2007 Andre: I firmly believe there is hope through this whole process. I could not have made it through this whole cancer thing without hope. I am having so many ups and downs these days since my mastectomy. The night time is very difficult for me because I cannot find a comfortable position. I have not really had a good night's sleep for a while, probably since the biopsy. When I received the diagnosis that I was " cancer free " , that my cancer was cured, I had mixed emotions. It was too much to hope for. I almost felt guilty for the sound of the diagnosis. I thought about all these strong, strong ladies going through the radiation and the chemotherapy and all the stuff that people go through on this website. I am really, really glad that I don't have to go through these things. I know that there is hope for each and every lady that is part of this group, and others who hear the words " You have breast " , or any of the other words like lumpectomy, mastectomy. My hope first is in the Lord God. My second hope is in the people who helped me through a " whining time " , and other like nne who continues to offer hopes and prays. I am glad I can cry, even when it seems like a strange time to cry. It gives me hope that I am still alive. Thanks for caring. Jan K ssist@... wrote: Dear Jan, I read about Patty's sister passing away at 47, and nothing affects me more deeply than to read about one of our " sisters " losing their battle. It literally frightens the hell out of me. Many times we not only cry for those who've left us, but for all of us left behind - we, the survivors. Crying is good for the soul though...I must have the healthiest soul around! I think sometimes we're afraid to feel scared and vulnerable, as if secretly the wrong thought will " reactivate " our cancer. I'm afraid to even " think " I'm having a bad hair day, as if my scalp will sense my ungratefulness, and all my hair will fall out again. When I finished Herceptin Friday, it emotionally overwhelmed me a few times during the day. I want a guarantee that if I do everything I am told, I will remain healthy, which I can't have and it saddens me. I think it's a mix of all I've gone through, hoping this " was all worth it, " and will this be the last of treatment in my life? I'm happy, sad and scared all at one time. Make no bones about it...this BC experience is filled with emotion. Maybe it's because it gets us to thinking about our own mortality and the uncertainty of all this. There is always hope, right honey?... XOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 Great news...I'm so glad to read good news once in a while. Keep smiling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2007 Report Share Posted February 22, 2007 To give thanks for my continued blessing of good health, I've written to a local hospice here to volunteer my assistance on my day off. There must be " other " plans for me on this good earth, so I'm going with what feels good. I've enjoyed your posts so many times, especially about your work in hospice. You were a big factor in where to put my efforts and I want to thank you for that. There's a lot of love and heart left in me, and certainly enough to share with them. XO ************************************** AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2007 Report Share Posted February 23, 2007 Great idea . Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html BreastCancerStories.com http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/ Angel Feather Loomer www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com Check out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html Lots of info and gifts at: www.cancerclub.com Re: Jan To give thanks for my continued blessing of good health, I've written to a local hospice here to volunteer my assistance on my day off. There must be " other " plans for me on this good earth, so I'm going with what feels good. I've enjoyed your posts so many times, especially about your work in hospice. You were a big factor in where to put my efforts and I want to thank you for that. There's a lot of love and heart left in me, and certainly enough to share with them. XO ************************************** AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2007 Report Share Posted February 23, 2007 : I know that you will be a blessing to any patient. Volunteering, especially for hospice, is an enriching experience. Thanks for the kudos. Jan K ssist@... wrote: To give thanks for my continued blessing of good health, I've written to a local hospice here to volunteer my assistance on my day off. There must be " other " plans for me on this good earth, so I'm going with what feels good. I've enjoyed your posts so many times, especially about your work in hospice. You were a big factor in where to put my efforts and I want to thank you for that. There's a lot of love and heart left in me, and certainly enough to share with them. XO ************************************** AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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