Not a nada question, but definitely a KO question

July 3, 2011

I just moved from the urban center of Los Angeles to a rural town in Montana. I

have been NC with nada since January 2011. Back story is that she had a violent

rage during Christmas, was physically violent, and when I got back I was

traumatized. So I started seeing a therapist and realized all these

co-dependency issues I had and KO traits I had due to being raised by nada and

my father. I worked through a lot of them and felt very empowered. Felt like I

had control over my life and with full confidence landed a position at a robust

national nonprofit that is in a huge growth phase, and I am responsible for

raising the funds to help them grow. It's my dream job. Not only is development

something I truly enjoy but the nonprofit's cause is so close to my heart that I

can truly be passionate about it when I talk to donors.

So I'm very happy with the choice I made to leave Los Angeles, I love my new

town, my new job, my co-workers are great, etc. However, I have been feeling

rather unsociable. I'm not depressed, but I just feel like I want to find myself

in this space. Also, I'm training for the local marathon, which is in a week, so

I've had to focus on that and it doesn't leave me much time to hang out with

folks from work.

Is it wrong that I am not trying to find things to do and people to hang out

with all the time? That I'm not really trying too hard to make friends right

now? There are a lot of things I want to explore here and events I will

eventually get to, but I've only been here like 6 weeks, and I hung out with

people a lot the first two weeks because I couldn't move into my house until

about 4 weeks ago. Since during the day I'm at work, I have just wanted to enjoy

the comfort of my new home and find my safe space, you know? Is this wrong? Am I

being antisocial or depressed?

It's so hard, being a KO, to know what is normal or not.

Thanks for listening, guys. Even as I type this out, I realize I'm just doing

what I need to do to take care of myself. And that can't be wrong. Still would

love feedback.

July 3, 2011

maybe the big wide open energy of Montana is effecting you! I am so envious, i

would love to live there.

It might seem odd coming from a full tilt place like Los Angeles that is go go

go...and suddenly you are on full stop. Training for a marathon is certianly

doing something, maybe you are just tired.

Congrats on your job and your move!

>

> I just moved from the urban center of Los Angeles to a rural town in Montana.

I have been NC with nada since January 2011. Back story is that she had a

violent rage during Christmas, was physically violent, and when I got back I was

traumatized. So I started seeing a therapist and realized all these

co-dependency issues I had and KO traits I had due to being raised by nada and

my father. I worked through a lot of them and felt very empowered. Felt like I

had control over my life and with full confidence landed a position at a robust

national nonprofit that is in a huge growth phase, and I am responsible for

raising the funds to help them grow. It's my dream job. Not only is development

something I truly enjoy but the nonprofit's cause is so close to my heart that I

can truly be passionate about it when I talk to donors.

>

> So I'm very happy with the choice I made to leave Los Angeles, I love my new

town, my new job, my co-workers are great, etc. However, I have been feeling

rather unsociable. I'm not depressed, but I just feel like I want to find myself

in this space. Also, I'm training for the local marathon, which is in a week, so

I've had to focus on that and it doesn't leave me much time to hang out with

folks from work.

>

> Is it wrong that I am not trying to find things to do and people to hang out

with all the time? That I'm not really trying too hard to make friends right

now? There are a lot of things I want to explore here and events I will

eventually get to, but I've only been here like 6 weeks, and I hung out with

people a lot the first two weeks because I couldn't move into my house until

about 4 weeks ago. Since during the day I'm at work, I have just wanted to enjoy

the comfort of my new home and find my safe space, you know? Is this wrong? Am I

being antisocial or depressed?

>

> It's so hard, being a KO, to know what is normal or not.

>

> Thanks for listening, guys. Even as I type this out, I realize I'm just doing

what I need to do to take care of myself. And that can't be wrong. Still would

love feedback.

>

July 3, 2011

I agree! What you are doing sounds very healthy and normal to me! It takes

time to get used to at totally new environment and job, so, be gentle with

yourself. There is no time-table for feeling comfortable in an entirely new

setting, but I'm betting it will happen sooner rather than later because you

sound so happy about your choice. And I think its smart to get to know new

people slowly, and make friends gradually instead of instantly. So, enjoy

preparing for your marathon, keep settling into your new digs and new job,

and... have fun! Its OK to have fun and get joy from your life. We deserve

some joy, sez I.

-Annie

> >

> > I just moved from the urban center of Los Angeles to a rural town in

Montana. I have been NC with nada since January 2011. Back story is that she had

a violent rage during Christmas, was physically violent, and when I got back I

was traumatized. So I started seeing a therapist and realized all these

co-dependency issues I had and KO traits I had due to being raised by nada and

my father. I worked through a lot of them and felt very empowered. Felt like I

had control over my life and with full confidence landed a position at a robust

national nonprofit that is in a huge growth phase, and I am responsible for

raising the funds to help them grow. It's my dream job. Not only is development

something I truly enjoy but the nonprofit's cause is so close to my heart that I

can truly be passionate about it when I talk to donors.

> >

> > So I'm very happy with the choice I made to leave Los Angeles, I love my new

town, my new job, my co-workers are great, etc. However, I have been feeling

rather unsociable. I'm not depressed, but I just feel like I want to find myself

in this space. Also, I'm training for the local marathon, which is in a week, so

I've had to focus on that and it doesn't leave me much time to hang out with

folks from work.

> >

> > Is it wrong that I am not trying to find things to do and people to hang out

with all the time? That I'm not really trying too hard to make friends right

now? There are a lot of things I want to explore here and events I will

eventually get to, but I've only been here like 6 weeks, and I hung out with

people a lot the first two weeks because I couldn't move into my house until

about 4 weeks ago. Since during the day I'm at work, I have just wanted to enjoy

the comfort of my new home and find my safe space, you know? Is this wrong? Am I

being antisocial or depressed?

> >

> > It's so hard, being a KO, to know what is normal or not.

> >

> > Thanks for listening, guys. Even as I type this out, I realize I'm just

doing what I need to do to take care of myself. And that can't be wrong. Still

would love feedback.

> >

>

July 3, 2011

I think that spending sometime with yourself is a great thing. Time to reflect

and examine your life up to now is a good thing. I think we all go thru cycles

of expansion and contraction in our personal lives. I'm slowly coming out of a

time of reflection and contraction. I needed this time to figure out why I

continue to draw certain types of negative people into my life.

It sounds to me like you are maybe giving yourself time to enjoy some peace and

quiet, something that as a KO is a precious commodity.

Enjoy it!