BPD severely sick with Kidney disease

[Guest guest]

My uBPD mother is pretty much dying of kidney disease at this point. 5 years ago

she started getting really sick...that's when the verbal abuse started. All my

life my mother was a bit of a narcissistic and a little off with her

relationships with people. But when she really started getting sick she got real

bad. All my life she's been suffering from one illness to the next, spending

countless nights in ERs and hospitals. She used her sickness to get what she

wanted and it created a monster. She's become so used to everyone standing

beside her and helping her that when people started leaving her she cracked. Now

she's severely ill both mentally and physically. She coped with her illness by

verbally abusing my father and myself. It was so bad that I got caught up in her

delusion and dropped out of college because I believed I was worthless and would

amount to nothing. I moved out of my parents house for a year after my mother

had a kidney transplant. It was my fathers kidney and she lost it to a blood

clot. The day she came home from the hospital I fled to my new apartment. She's

never forgiven me for it but I honestly believed that she was going to cope with

the loss of the kidney by attacking me verbally some more and I simply couldn't

stand to be in her proximity anymore. It took me 7 months to discover that my

mother has BPD. My cousin, who is a psyc nurse told my grandmother it was BPD so

I started doing research. I talked to my own therapist and we came to the same

conclusion. It's made dealing with her easier, to the point where I'm even

living in her house again. But I want to help her so much. I'm going back to

school this fall. I worry that she's going to downward spiral out of control if

I leave again. I've delved very deeply into spirituality, not your typical but

the stuff Jed McKenna and Eckhart Tolle talk about. It's made everything about

dealing with her easier. But I want to help her so much. The therapist I've been

seeing for 6 years works for a health system that has DBT therapy. The real deal

and everything. I could get her into to if she would only admit that she needs

help. Unfortunately I've been having trouble not reflecting her personality back

and have been telling her that she has BPD. She knows I just don't know what to

do to get her to take that last step.

[Guest guest]

I think you have done all that you can do.

If you believe we have a higher self, then you know you have given her

everything she needs because you gave her the knowledge. My own personal belief

is you can help her higher self more by attending to your own needs. I think you

have done everything humanly possible and the next step is hers. Hugs.

>

> My uBPD mother is pretty much dying of kidney disease at this point. 5 years

ago she started getting really sick...that's when the verbal abuse started. All

my life my mother was a bit of a narcissistic and a little off with her

relationships with people. But when she really started getting sick she got real

bad. All my life she's been suffering from one illness to the next, spending

countless nights in ERs and hospitals. She used her sickness to get what she

wanted and it created a monster. She's become so used to everyone standing

beside her and helping her that when people started leaving her she cracked. Now

she's severely ill both mentally and physically. She coped with her illness by

verbally abusing my father and myself. It was so bad that I got caught up in her

delusion and dropped out of college because I believed I was worthless and would

amount to nothing. I moved out of my parents house for a year after my mother

had a kidney transplant. It was my fathers kidney and she lost it to a blood

clot. The day she came home from the hospital I fled to my new apartment. She's

never forgiven me for it but I honestly believed that she was going to cope with

the loss of the kidney by attacking me verbally some more and I simply couldn't

stand to be in her proximity anymore. It took me 7 months to discover that my

mother has BPD. My cousin, who is a psyc nurse told my grandmother it was BPD so

I started doing research. I talked to my own therapist and we came to the same

conclusion. It's made dealing with her easier, to the point where I'm even

living in her house again. But I want to help her so much. I'm going back to

school this fall. I worry that she's going to downward spiral out of control if

I leave again. I've delved very deeply into spirituality, not your typical but

the stuff Jed McKenna and Eckhart Tolle talk about. It's made everything about

dealing with her easier. But I want to help her so much. The therapist I've been

seeing for 6 years works for a health system that has DBT therapy. The real deal

and everything. I could get her into to if she would only admit that she needs

help. Unfortunately I've been having trouble not reflecting her personality back

and have been telling her that she has BPD. She knows I just don't know what to

do to get her to take that last step.

>

[Guest guest]

I share some parts of your story, my mother has kidney disease also and I've

found a lot of relief from Eckhart Tolle. It sounds like you are having a

really rough time of things and also that you are still in your twenties? If

your father is still married and living with your mother, why can't he take

care of her? This is the time in your life to be focusing on school and not

living at home. I know it is so hard to want to help them and they just won't

listen and refuse help. My mother does this with regard to really obvious

health issues - I have no hope of ever telling her she has mental issues. My

two cents...offer what help your mother can actually receive and is safe for you

to give. Know that destroying yourself in the name of saving her is not a path

that leads to anything good for anyone.

Take care,

Eliza

>

> My uBPD mother is pretty much dying of kidney disease at this point. 5 years

ago she started getting really sick...that's when the verbal abuse started. All

my life my mother was a bit of a narcissistic and a little off with her

relationships with people. But when she really started getting sick she got real

bad. All my life she's been suffering from one illness to the next, spending

countless nights in ERs and hospitals. She used her sickness to get what she

wanted and it created a monster. She's become so used to everyone standing

beside her and helping her that when people started leaving her she cracked. Now

she's severely ill both mentally and physically. She coped with her illness by

verbally abusing my father and myself. It was so bad that I got caught up in her

delusion and dropped out of college because I believed I was worthless and would

amount to nothing. I moved out of my parents house for a year after my mother

had a kidney transplant. It was my fathers kidney and she lost it to a blood

clot. The day she came home from the hospital I fled to my new apartment. She's

never forgiven me for it but I honestly believed that she was going to cope with

the loss of the kidney by attacking me verbally some more and I simply couldn't

stand to be in her proximity anymore. It took me 7 months to discover that my

mother has BPD. My cousin, who is a psyc nurse told my grandmother it was BPD so

I started doing research. I talked to my own therapist and we came to the same

conclusion. It's made dealing with her easier, to the point where I'm even

living in her house again. But I want to help her so much. I'm going back to

school this fall. I worry that she's going to downward spiral out of control if

I leave again. I've delved very deeply into spirituality, not your typical but

the stuff Jed McKenna and Eckhart Tolle talk about. It's made everything about

dealing with her easier. But I want to help her so much. The therapist I've been

seeing for 6 years works for a health system that has DBT therapy. The real deal

and everything. I could get her into to if she would only admit that she needs

help. Unfortunately I've been having trouble not reflecting her personality back

and have been telling her that she has BPD. She knows I just don't know what to

do to get her to take that last step.

>

[Guest guest]

No need to live with her my dear - no need at all. It is perfectly normal

for someone your age to invest in a life of their own. Hugs

On Tue, Jun 28, 2011 at 5:37 PM, eliza92@... <

eliza92@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> I share some parts of your story, my mother has kidney disease also and

> I've found a lot of relief from Eckhart Tolle. It sounds like you are having

> a really rough time of things and also that you are still in your twenties?

> If your father is still married and living with your mother, why can't he

> take care of her? This is the time in your life to be focusing on school and

> not living at home. I know it is so hard to want to help them and they just

> won't listen and refuse help. My mother does this with regard to really

> obvious health issues - I have no hope of ever telling her she has mental

> issues. My two cents...offer what help your mother can actually receive and

> is safe for you to give. Know that destroying yourself in the name of saving

> her is not a path that leads to anything good for anyone.

>

> Take care,

> Eliza

>

>

>

> >

> > My uBPD mother is pretty much dying of kidney disease at this point. 5

> years ago she started getting really sick...that's when the verbal abuse

> started. All my life my mother was a bit of a narcissistic and a little off

> with her relationships with people. But when she really started getting sick

> she got real bad. All my life she's been suffering from one illness to the

> next, spending countless nights in ERs and hospitals. She used her sickness

> to get what she wanted and it created a monster. She's become so used to

> everyone standing beside her and helping her that when people started

> leaving her she cracked. Now she's severely ill both mentally and

> physically. She coped with her illness by verbally abusing my father and

> myself. It was so bad that I got caught up in her delusion and dropped out

> of college because I believed I was worthless and would amount to nothing. I

> moved out of my parents house for a year after my mother had a kidney

> transplant. It was my fathers kidney and she lost it to a blood clot. The

> day she came home from the hospital I fled to my new apartment. She's never

> forgiven me for it but I honestly believed that she was going to cope with

> the loss of the kidney by attacking me verbally some more and I simply

> couldn't stand to be in her proximity anymore. It took me 7 months to

> discover that my mother has BPD. My cousin, who is a psyc nurse told my

> grandmother it was BPD so I started doing research. I talked to my own

> therapist and we came to the same conclusion. It's made dealing with her

> easier, to the point where I'm even living in her house again. But I want to

> help her so much. I'm going back to school this fall. I worry that she's

> going to downward spiral out of control if I leave again. I've delved very

> deeply into spirituality, not your typical but the stuff Jed McKenna and

> Eckhart Tolle talk about. It's made everything about dealing with her

> easier. But I want to help her so much. The therapist I've been seeing for 6

> years works for a health system that has DBT therapy. The real deal and

> everything. I could get her into to if she would only admit that she needs

> help. Unfortunately I've been having trouble not reflecting her personality

> back and have been telling her that she has BPD. She knows I just don't know

> what to do to get her to take that last step.

> >

>

>

>