Friendship program

[Guest guest]

As you all know we are dealing with a group who have decided they

have the answer to issues...So I have a list of outcomes I want

to see in 4 weeks.

They are random and I would like you guys to look at them and help

me organize them and word them correctly.

1. and peers will understand respect. What it is to give it

and receive it.

2. and peers will understand what a friend is and practice it

at all times.

3 will be given tools to be able to approach peers

4 Peers will acknowlege when he speaks to them.

5.Peers will not turn their backs and ignore

6.Peers will gain 's attention when they are speaking to him so

that it is not perceived that is ignoring them

7 will use friendship tools appropriately

8 will understand and interpret situations appropriately.

9 will understand when something is inappropriate

10 will approach and inform and adult of an inappropriate

situation

11. Peers should understand why adults come in to help and not

tease him about it

12. Each student to be held to same standard...( was made to

apologize when he hurt someones feelings...teacher did not see, yet

when a student hit in the face with a basketball she was not

made to apologize because the teacher did not see it.)

I am sure I missed many issues ...

Ellen mom to 9

[Guest guest]

That is a great list Ellen.

I think what you are asking for is just some decent common sense and courtesy,

but you are working with some people who really need it broken down and spelled

out--I think you did a good job.

(mom to Evan, 18 months)

Ellen and Steinbrick wrote:

As you all know we are dealing with a group who have decided they

have the answer to issues...So I have a list of outcomes I want

to see in 4 weeks.

They are random and I would like you guys to look at them and help

me organize them and word them correctly.

1. and peers will understand respect. What it is to give it

and receive it.

2. and peers will understand what a friend is and practice it

at all times.

3 will be given tools to be able to approach peers

4 Peers will acknowlege when he speaks to them.

5.Peers will not turn their backs and ignore

6.Peers will gain 's attention when they are speaking to him so

that it is not perceived that is ignoring them

7 will use friendship tools appropriately

8 will understand and interpret situations appropriately.

9 will understand when something is inappropriate

10 will approach and inform and adult of an inappropriate

situation

11. Peers should understand why adults come in to help and not

tease him about it

12. Each student to be held to same standard...( was made to

apologize when he hurt someones feelings...teacher did not see, yet

when a student hit in the face with a basketball she was not

made to apologize because the teacher did not see it.)

I am sure I missed many issues ...

Ellen mom to 9

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Ellen,

Sometimes, as a V.I. teacher, I have been able to have classroom " simulations " ,

so that the other students can get a glimpse of what it is like to be blind or

have different vision losses. Even as a VI teacher, the thought of having to

read braille by touch almost makes me ill! I made name strips for a first

grade class after they had braille alphabet cards and it was next to impossible

for them to identify any letter by touch. That lead into the necessity of

making/obtaining special materials for that student as well as why I was there

in class, etc.

This works with hearing issues, to a small extent, by having the other kids

wear the foam earplugs. Compound that with loud music in the background and

have them try to hear what another person is saying to them and repeat it to

you! Not as easy as it sounds, as I am sure you can imagine.

I saw a wonderful video on learning disabilities at a workshop when the " class "

was a group of educational professionals. The " teacher " was presenting

extremely technical material in a totally unfamiliar area. The " students " asked

for further explanations, for the teacher to go slower, to perhaps use some

graphs, charts, etc., to further explain.....the " teacher " would mention things

like " if you would just pay attention... " and would talk louder, and become more

annoyed... these are things " our " kids experience frequently. It was

embarrassing to watch it, knowing that even the most well-meaning teacher has

done some of that at one time or another. My point is that simulations and play

acting work well, if you have that opportunity. Sometimes I have been able to

include a regular ed. student along with my student, and they get to see the

difference in the two " worlds " .

Dr. Phil's son, Jay McGraw, does whole school anti-bullying presentations and

wrote a book several years ago. It has been a big issue in Texas since we are

such a melting pot.

Good luck; your objectives sound great. Don't you just love 28-day miracles?

Kay, VI teacher, with nanny-privileges to & Randy's Garland

[Guest guest]

Hey Ellen,

wow!! this is a great list and great plan.

I have a question that may or may not be relevant: In reading this, everything

starts with --and I understand that--but it seems to me that these

goals/statements should be part of any classroom culture and for ALL students to

treat each other this way. For example, All students will understand respect

-what it is to give and get.

All students willunderstand what a friend is and practice good friendship

skills. See what I mean? Then, the specifics to : students must look at

him (it is for better communication, of course, but when we talk with anyone, we

make eye contact; part of respect). I totally understand that this is to help

, but one can hope that someone realizes, " hey, this should be for everyone,

not just the special needs kid " .

Someone also made reference to simulation experiences. I know that New England

Center does this--perhaps it is a good step for the STAFF first, then the kids

on a different level. If the staff can experience this, perhaps they will have

a bit more understanding. (One could only hope).

I hate that there is such an obvious double standard for (and you, too).

pam

Friendship program

As you all know we are dealing with a group who have decided they

have the answer to issues...So I have a list of outcomes I want

to see in 4 weeks.

They are random and I would like you guys to look at them and help

me organize them and word them correctly.

1. and peers will understand respect. What it is to give it

and receive it.

2. and peers will understand what a friend is and practice it

at all times.

3 will be given tools to be able to approach peers

4 Peers will acknowlege when he speaks to them.

5.Peers will not turn their backs and ignore

6.Peers will gain 's attention when they are speaking to him so

that it is not perceived that is ignoring them

7 will use friendship tools appropriately

8 will understand and interpret situations appropriately.

9 will understand when something is inappropriate

10 will approach and inform and adult of an inappropriate

situation

11. Peers should understand why adults come in to help and not

tease him about it

12. Each student to be held to same standard...( was made to

apologize when he hurt someones feelings...teacher did not see, yet

when a student hit in the face with a basketball she was not

made to apologize because the teacher did not see it.)

I am sure I missed many issues ...

Ellen mom to 9

[Guest guest]

Pam,

I know I did a lot of will things because I wanted there to be

direct accountablity to me for the success/failure of this program. I

would like to be able to go down the steps and see if they are

mastered. I wanted this group to see that this is more involved than

a " super sensitive child " whose feelings are easily hurt. 's

teacher when asked if had friends she said " Yes is very

friendly " . I asked again if has friends... I then asked her to

name one child...without answering that she said that the other

students a friendly group. I guess I set it up to prove a point to

her. She claims that has no problems in school. I see something

very different.

I could suggest that all of the students need to know this but I have

already stepped on their toes when I told them how to handle the last

situation.

I'll let you know the meeting is at 2:15 tomorrow.... is attending

he said he has a few things to say.

Ellen mom to 9

[Guest guest]

Ellen,

I kind of figured that--you need the goals directed to HIM to see how they

measure it as it directly relates to . Too bad you have to do this, isn't

it???? Hopefully, it iwll open their eyes when they have to really look at the

criteria you have outlined.

I am SOOO glad is attending--what better spokesperson!!! Hopefully, again,

they will give him the respect he deserves for facing the group and having to

deal with a difficult situation.

good luck and we will all be waiting with baited breath (what exactly do you

suppose that means???? fishing analogy???)

pam

Re: Friendship program

Pam,

I know I did a lot of will things because I wanted there to be

direct accountablity to me for the success/failure of this program. I

would like to be able to go down the steps and see if they are

mastered. I wanted this group to see that this is more involved than

a " super sensitive child " whose feelings are easily hurt. 's

teacher when asked if had friends she said " Yes is very

friendly " . I asked again if has friends... I then asked her to

name one child...without answering that she said that the other

students a friendly group. I guess I set it up to prove a point to

her. She claims that has no problems in school. I see something

very different.

I could suggest that all of the students need to know this but I have

already stepped on their toes when I told them how to handle the last

situation.

I'll let you know the meeting is at 2:15 tomorrow.... is attending

he said he has a few things to say.

Ellen mom to 9

[Guest guest]

Ellen beautifuly worded and you know i feel its best to start young and ill

tell u why but starting young admit doestn allwasy work but if u can try its

good and i say it because ive been in class with mainstream people who will

just shout and yell and all thsi stuff very hard for me as you could imagine

but also ive had a few people whove said oh we really need to help those

kids in the unit and i once said to this person y do u allways help me no

one else does you know what she said she said she had a cousin with special

needs!!!! so in my opinion unless ur like her who would of already

understood when i came in to that class that day you really need help to

understand the vision and hearing so you could try give soem lessons on what

he can hear and wat he can c even a bit of a charge lesspn would b good my

vi did that in year 8 and it kinda worked

>

> Ellen,

> I kind of figured that--you need the goals directed to HIM to see how they

> measure it as it directly relates to . Too bad you have to do this,

> isn't it???? Hopefully, it iwll open their eyes when they have to really

> look at the criteria you have outlined.

> I am SOOO glad is attending--what better spokesperson!!! Hopefully,

> again, they will give him the respect he deserves for facing the group and

> having to deal with a difficult situation.

> good luck and we will all be waiting with baited breath (what exactly do

> you suppose that means???? fishing analogy???)

>

> pam

>

> Re: Friendship program

>

> Pam,

> I know I did a lot of will things because I wanted there to be

> direct accountablity to me for the success/failure of this program. I

> would like to be able to go down the steps and see if they are

> mastered. I wanted this group to see that this is more involved than

> a " super sensitive child " whose feelings are easily hurt. 's

> teacher when asked if had friends she said " Yes is very

> friendly " . I asked again if has friends... I then asked her to

> name one child...without answering that she said that the other

> students a friendly group. I guess I set it up to prove a point to

> her. She claims that has no problems in school. I see something

> very different.

> I could suggest that all of the students need to know this but I have

> already stepped on their toes when I told them how to handle the last

> situation.

> I'll let you know the meeting is at 2:15 tomorrow.... is attending

> he said he has a few things to say.

> Ellen mom to 9

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Pam-

Now if you hadn't said fishy, I wouldn't have thought twice about this, but

you made me

wonder, what is this reference to fish breath.

So, although your interpretation is infinitely more amusing than

Shakespeare's

(who gets credit for first coining the phrase)

It looks like it's bated breath-meaning abated, or the breath restrained or

made gentle..

Now, could you bate baited breath? No doubt-just not on a Monday morning-

too much thought process-LOL.

Your friend in all things guppy,

in Ma.

[Guest guest]

-

I am sure everyone standing close hopes one can bate baited breath.

Just a little silly on a Monday...:-)

Janay

>

> Dear Pam-

> Now if you hadn't said fishy, I wouldn't have thought twice about

this, but

> you made me

> wonder, what is this reference to fish breath.

> So, although your interpretation is infinitely more amusing than

> Shakespeare's

> (who gets credit for first coining the phrase)

> It looks like it's bated breath-meaning abated, or the breath

restrained or

> made gentle..

> Now, could you bate baited breath? No doubt-just not on a Monday

morning-

> too much thought process-LOL.

> Your friend in all things guppy,

> in Ma.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

This response was hysterical and I have made many a colleague here laugh

this morning. Only to add to the overall enjoyment was your response,

Janay!!

Too funny, but a great way to start the Monday a.m..

pam

>

>

>

>

> Dear Pam-

> Now if you hadn't said fishy, I wouldn't have thought twice about this, but

> you made me

> wonder, what is this reference to fish breath.

> So, although your interpretation is infinitely more amusing than

> Shakespeare's

> (who gets credit for first coining the phrase)

> It looks like it's bated breath-meaning abated, or the breath restrained or

> made gentle..

> Now, could you bate baited breath? No doubt-just not on a Monday morning-

> too much thought process-LOL.

> Your friend in all things guppy,

> in Ma.

>

>

[Guest guest]

So this is the deal,

has 2 separate issues

1. problem solving

2 making friends

( this is them not me I could not squeeze into only 2 issues)

Issue # 1

will be given 10 disks that say I have a problem he is to hand

it

to an adult and they are to fill out a questionaire and discuss the

problem . Come up with solutions . Send him back to class then send

the sheet home to me to be discussed ONLY one time. Then it is

dropped.

It is to be the adult of his choosing..He selected the

principal...Today she is absent

Second choice is the school counselor and she too is absent today...

Oddly did not pick his teacher...

I attempted to bring up CHARGE and OCD and I was cut off...they feel

is a child who believes he is " entitled " so his reaction to

situations and his behavior is brought on by him being a spoiled

child.

So this will fix everything....

Issue # 2

They have reassigned a para to recess to play with and 7

students.

So this will fix that.

There you have it ........Let the Magic begin!

Ellen

[Guest guest]

is spoiled? Hmmm ive heard that one used on me. I was tormented worse

at school by students after the teachers gave me that lable. Sounds like

hes got that school i went to in grade 5 and 8.

I wonder why the school dosnt want to face the real problem? How can they

say he is spoiled? How are they basing that on? God i hate it when teachers

assume any supports to help a special needs kid makes them spoiled... I

think im gonna stop here, I can feel my brain grumbling on this one...

Chantelle

>

> So this is the deal,

> has 2 separate issues

> 1. problem solving

> 2 making friends

> ( this is them not me I could not squeeze into only 2 issues)

> Issue # 1

>

> will be given 10 disks that say I have a problem he is to hand

> it

> to an adult and they are to fill out a questionaire and discuss the

> problem . Come up with solutions . Send him back to class then send

> the sheet home to me to be discussed ONLY one time. Then it is

> dropped.

> It is to be the adult of his choosing..He selected the

> principal...Today she is absent

> Second choice is the school counselor and she too is absent today...

> Oddly did not pick his teacher...

> I attempted to bring up CHARGE and OCD and I was cut off...they feel

> is a child who believes he is " entitled " so his reaction to

> situations and his behavior is brought on by him being a spoiled

> child.

> So this will fix everything....

>

>

> Issue # 2

>

> They have reassigned a para to recess to play with and 7

> students.

>

> So this will fix that.

>

> There you have it ........Let the Magic begin!

> Ellen

>

>

>

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>

> Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

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> Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

> please contact marion@... or visit

> the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

> 8th International

> CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

> www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

[Guest guest]

It never ceases to amaze me how normal adults (probably with healthy, medically

unremarkable children) can jump into a situation such as yours and 's and

proclaim that the root of the problem is that is " spoiled. " If was a

typical, healthy kiddo I mighty agree with that assessment. But he isn't...and

they aren't even making an attempt to take that into account. Ignorant kids

grow up to be ignorant adults--and the cycle at this school seems doomed to

repeat itself...

(mom to Evan, 18 months with CHARGE)

Ellen and Steinbrick wrote:

So this is the deal,

has 2 separate issues

1. problem solving

2 making friends

( this is them not me I could not squeeze into only 2 issues)

Issue # 1

will be given 10 disks that say I have a problem he is to hand

it

to an adult and they are to fill out a questionaire and discuss the

problem . Come up with solutions . Send him back to class then send

the sheet home to me to be discussed ONLY one time. Then it is

dropped.

It is to be the adult of his choosing..He selected the

principal...Today she is absent

Second choice is the school counselor and she too is absent today...

Oddly did not pick his teacher...

I attempted to bring up CHARGE and OCD and I was cut off...they feel

is a child who believes he is " entitled " so his reaction to

situations and his behavior is brought on by him being a spoiled

child.

So this will fix everything....

Issue # 2

They have reassigned a para to recess to play with and 7

students.

So this will fix that.

There you have it ........Let the Magic begin!

Ellen

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Well Ellen,

I think this is simply amazing. Stand alone stunning. I really appreciate how

you have laid it all out for exactly what it is. It is what it is. I also

delight in your closing - " Let the Magic begin! " Open to miracles. In our

family it is our own peculiar brand of sarcasm - we call it " doubt as a positive

affirmation " . )

I am holding a place in my heart where all parties involved with will have

clarity on the truth about him and their part in it, for the greatest good of

and the greatest good for all, and for all resistance beneath the surface

to dissolve completely opening a path to willingness and healing....

ohmygoodness - it seems like it is hard enough already. When the people who are

" helping " us are confused, it just makes the day all that much longer....

the best to you and your family-

yuka

Ellen and Steinbrick wrote:

So this is the deal,

has 2 separate issues

1. problem solving

2 making friends

( this is them not me I could not squeeze into only 2 issues)

Issue # 1

will be given 10 disks that say I have a problem he is to hand

it

to an adult and they are to fill out a questionaire and discuss the

problem . Come up with solutions . Send him back to class then send

the sheet home to me to be discussed ONLY one time. Then it is

dropped.

It is to be the adult of his choosing..He selected the

principal...Today she is absent

Second choice is the school counselor and she too is absent today...

Oddly did not pick his teacher...

I attempted to bring up CHARGE and OCD and I was cut off...they feel

is a child who believes he is " entitled " so his reaction to

situations and his behavior is brought on by him being a spoiled

child.

So this will fix everything....

Issue # 2

They have reassigned a para to recess to play with and 7

students.

So this will fix that.

There you have it ........Let the Magic begin!

Ellen

.