Mind blanks??? Tim Hartshorn please read.

[Guest guest]

I want to share this but i have 2 giant requests, please noone say its

funny/cute or say that its a charge thing please. Thanks.

Ok, this happend two days ago but I think its happend many times and i may

understand it better due to the events two days ago and looking

retrospectively at a while back...

Ok. I will do a mini time line...

Tuesday evning. about 7 im starting to not look forward to the next day. Im

talking with some friends (online) about dealing with how i was feeling.

8:30 was the last time i know exactly what was happening. I posted that I

was upset cause I did not want to see my intervienor, stated reasons, didnt

want to go to the staff meeting cause i didnt want to deal with one coworker

(though the issue had nothing to do with me i hadnt though that way till the

next day) and i didnt want to go to class cause our teacher was going to

give us " study skills " lesson wich i thought was insulting considering the

structure of the exam is what caused me to do badly.... anyways. I remember

wanting to burn and cut myself really badly. I dont really know what happend

next cause i remember feeling like i needed to eat and i remember going to

make popcorn, then next thing the popcorn was near done. Then i sat down and

i read and composed a letter to Casey when i saw her reply... that was

11:30pm...

The last mind blank was back in November/December... I can think of a couple

" mind blanks " most of wich i had when i was in highschool when i was living

with my mom.

Makes me wonder are these examples of dissociating? Tim, whats your take? I

dont think its a charge thing and from what i know of mental helth issues im

thinking these mind blanks are a way of protecting myself from strong

emotional times. I will be copying this and making sure i show my councellor

when I see her next week.

Another thing that happend, but im not sure if it was monday or tuesday

evning (im thinking monday) I was laying in bed and looking at my hand and

it was like my hand wasnt a part of me but it was a seperate object. I

couldnt figure out what it was but not that it really mattered at the time.

I just started to talk to my fist (i did not think it was my fist at the

time). I wasnt really tired. This happens from time to time. its little

things like when i eat some foods, the foods are just wrong. like apples,

they are just weird this hard thin shell with a mushy inside, its like

something that cant possibly really exsist. Its just wrong. (I can eat

apples but i get this feeling every time i eat them so i just avoid them).

Oh this happend in June. I was stressed out cause of something someone asked

me to do and i didnt want to get involved but i kinda became so. Well i had

a cold so i was going down to the store and I dont really remember going

down to the store or anything but I just about got hit by a car cause i was

daydreaming that I was a character on tv and I was this big touggh

character. I only realized what happend when I just about crossed on a red

light and someone honked their horn, kinda got me out of my fuzzy state.

I was too ashamed to tell people cause i dont want people to say i have

" magical thinking " or that i live in my imaginary world or that I obses

about actors/tv characters. its not the case at all. I didnt choose to start

thinking that, it just kinda happend.

I guess i never shared that cause i was too ashamed and embarrased about it.

At least now i can show it to my councellor. But i did want to discuss it

here a little.

Chantelle

--

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life. There

are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know why.

Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of making us

better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people inside. We

may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always remember that

faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what we call him or

her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra special gift. ~ Me

[Guest guest]

Am i allowed tor eply to this Chantelle? or are you going to tell me i hacked

your account again?

Mind blanks??? Tim Hartshorn please read.

I want to share this but i have 2 giant requests, please noone say its

funny/cute or say that its a charge thing please. Thanks.

Ok, this happend two days ago but I think its happend many times and i may

understand it better due to the events two days ago and looking

retrospectively at a while back...

Ok. I will do a mini time line...

Tuesday evning. about 7 im starting to not look forward to the next day. Im

talking with some friends (online) about dealing with how i was feeling.

8:30 was the last time i know exactly what was happening. I posted that I

was upset cause I did not want to see my intervienor, stated reasons, didnt

want to go to the staff meeting cause i didnt want to deal with one coworker

(though the issue had nothing to do with me i hadnt though that way till the

next day) and i didnt want to go to class cause our teacher was going to

give us " study skills " lesson wich i thought was insulting considering the

structure of the exam is what caused me to do badly.... anyways. I remember

wanting to burn and cut myself really badly. I dont really know what happend

next cause i remember feeling like i needed to eat and i remember going to

make popcorn, then next thing the popcorn was near done. Then i sat down and

i read and composed a letter to Casey when i saw her reply... that was

11:30pm...

The last mind blank was back in November/December... I can think of a couple

" mind blanks " most of wich i had when i was in highschool when i was living

with my mom.

Makes me wonder are these examples of dissociating? Tim, whats your take? I

dont think its a charge thing and from what i know of mental helth issues im

thinking these mind blanks are a way of protecting myself from strong

emotional times. I will be copying this and making sure i show my councellor

when I see her next week.

Another thing that happend, but im not sure if it was monday or tuesday

evning (im thinking monday) I was laying in bed and looking at my hand and

it was like my hand wasnt a part of me but it was a seperate object. I

couldnt figure out what it was but not that it really mattered at the time.

I just started to talk to my fist (i did not think it was my fist at the

time). I wasnt really tired. This happens from time to time. its little

things like when i eat some foods, the foods are just wrong. like apples,

they are just weird this hard thin shell with a mushy inside, its like

something that cant possibly really exsist. Its just wrong. (I can eat

apples but i get this feeling every time i eat them so i just avoid them).

Oh this happend in June. I was stressed out cause of something someone asked

me to do and i didnt want to get involved but i kinda became so. Well i had

a cold so i was going down to the store and I dont really remember going

down to the store or anything but I just about got hit by a car cause i was

daydreaming that I was a character on tv and I was this big touggh

character. I only realized what happend when I just about crossed on a red

light and someone honked their horn, kinda got me out of my fuzzy state.

I was too ashamed to tell people cause i dont want people to say i have

" magical thinking " or that i live in my imaginary world or that I obses

about actors/tv characters. its not the case at all. I didnt choose to start

thinking that, it just kinda happend.

I guess i never shared that cause i was too ashamed and embarrased about it.

At least now i can show it to my councellor. But i did want to discuss it

here a little.

Chantelle

--

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life. There

are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know why.

Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of making us

better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people inside. We

may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always remember that

faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what we call him or

her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra special gift. ~ Me

[Guest guest]

Chantelle. I dont think that is abnormal at all. It sounds like dissacoiating to

me...Im sorry youve felt ashamed to share it, but its a big step sharing it with

everyone. Im proud of you for sharing it here.

The talking to your fist thing, im sure ive heard of something like that before

on another board, and no, i dont think its a CHARGE thing at all, i have

dissaciated before, alot, i knwo its not a charge thing...

Belinda

Mind blanks??? Tim Hartshorn please read.

I want to share this but i have 2 giant requests, please noone say its

funny/cute or say that its a charge thing please. Thanks.

Ok, this happend two days ago but I think its happend many times and i may

understand it better due to the events two days ago and looking

retrospectively at a while back...

Ok. I will do a mini time line...

Tuesday evning. about 7 im starting to not look forward to the next day. Im

talking with some friends (online) about dealing with how i was feeling.

8:30 was the last time i know exactly what was happening. I posted that I

was upset cause I did not want to see my intervienor, stated reasons, didnt

want to go to the staff meeting cause i didnt want to deal with one coworker

(though the issue had nothing to do with me i hadnt though that way till the

next day) and i didnt want to go to class cause our teacher was going to

give us " study skills " lesson wich i thought was insulting considering the

structure of the exam is what caused me to do badly.... anyways. I remember

wanting to burn and cut myself really badly. I dont really know what happend

next cause i remember feeling like i needed to eat and i remember going to

make popcorn, then next thing the popcorn was near done. Then i sat down and

i read and composed a letter to Casey when i saw her reply... that was

11:30pm...

The last mind blank was back in November/December... I can think of a couple

" mind blanks " most of wich i had when i was in highschool when i was living

with my mom.

Makes me wonder are these examples of dissociating? Tim, whats your take? I

dont think its a charge thing and from what i know of mental helth issues im

thinking these mind blanks are a way of protecting myself from strong

emotional times. I will be copying this and making sure i show my councellor

when I see her next week.

Another thing that happend, but im not sure if it was monday or tuesday

evning (im thinking monday) I was laying in bed and looking at my hand and

it was like my hand wasnt a part of me but it was a seperate object. I

couldnt figure out what it was but not that it really mattered at the time.

I just started to talk to my fist (i did not think it was my fist at the

time). I wasnt really tired. This happens from time to time. its little

things like when i eat some foods, the foods are just wrong. like apples,

they are just weird this hard thin shell with a mushy inside, its like

something that cant possibly really exsist. Its just wrong. (I can eat

apples but i get this feeling every time i eat them so i just avoid them).

Oh this happend in June. I was stressed out cause of something someone asked

me to do and i didnt want to get involved but i kinda became so. Well i had

a cold so i was going down to the store and I dont really remember going

down to the store or anything but I just about got hit by a car cause i was

daydreaming that I was a character on tv and I was this big touggh

character. I only realized what happend when I just about crossed on a red

light and someone honked their horn, kinda got me out of my fuzzy state.

I was too ashamed to tell people cause i dont want people to say i have

" magical thinking " or that i live in my imaginary world or that I obses

about actors/tv characters. its not the case at all. I didnt choose to start

thinking that, it just kinda happend.

I guess i never shared that cause i was too ashamed and embarrased about it.

At least now i can show it to my councellor. But i did want to discuss it

here a little.

Chantelle

--

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life. There

are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know why.

Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of making us

better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people inside. We

may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always remember that

faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what we call him or

her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra special gift. ~ Me

[Guest guest]

Hi Chantelle,

Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I agree with Belinda that it took

a lot of courage. I do not thing this is a CHARGE thing directly, but it

does sound like it's related to stress, and you have had a lot of stress in

life due to CHARGE and due to other life events too. I suspect many of us

can point to moments when we've had mind blanks as you describe them. I

start to drive somewhere and then am amazed at where I ended up because it

was not where I had planned on going. But these are kind of rare, and if

you are having a lot of them, it may be that your stress is building up. I

think sharing your message with your counselor is a super idea. Oh, another

possibility would be a sleep problem. You can be so exhausted that your

mind goes to sleep for a few minutes until you kind of startle yourself

awake.

Tim

[Guest guest]

tim i was thinking chantelle could have depression when i read that coz one

of my old firends from school who ha that well has mind blanks coz she was

on sevs msn and id

seen a teacher and was telling georg and sev and georg couldnt remember her

and this teacher said say hi to georgi and sevie well shed said that her

mind blanks coz her thing so i thought maybe chantelle has it to just a

thought

>

> Hi Chantelle,

>

> Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I agree with Belinda that it

> took

> a lot of courage. I do not thing this is a CHARGE thing directly, but it

> does sound like it's related to stress, and you have had a lot of stress

> in

> life due to CHARGE and due to other life events too. I suspect many of us

> can point to moments when we've had mind blanks as you describe them. I

> start to drive somewhere and then am amazed at where I ended up because it

> was not where I had planned on going. But these are kind of rare, and if

> you are having a lot of them, it may be that your stress is building up. I

> think sharing your message with your counselor is a super idea. Oh,

> another

> possibility would be a sleep problem. You can be so exhausted that your

> mind goes to sleep for a few minutes until you kind of startle yourself

> awake.

>

> Tim

>

>

[Guest guest]

Chantelle-

Your self-awareness is so amazing! I'm glad you said you'll share this with

your counselor. You're right - it's not " cute " and it's not a CHARGE thing.

It's something that does need attention, I think. I hope Tim has some

insight as mine is all just guesses. I have no clue. But I think your gut

is telling you that something is wrong. Your gut is telling you to record

this, share this, and seek help. Listen to your gut. Don't let the

counselor dismiss your concerns - I can't imagine that she will. And let us

know how things go.

I will be thinking of you - as I always am anyways :-)

Hugs-

Michele W

Aubrie's mom

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone (and i do mean all of you...) for your insight and comments

I will be discussing this with my councellor on monday and she isnt the

type to dismiss me. If something i think is odd is a normal thing, she tells

me, but if its odd or needs adressing, we do that too. I too am

leaning towards this being a dissosiation episode. At least the worst i know

of that ive done is eat a bag of popcorn. Oh yah and almost walk into a car

that was about to turn the corner near my apartment... ok so thats v.

bad...

anyways im off. Class was great. I like my teacher and I had to chuckle

seeing the assinment we have to do... i think this particular class was

made just for me (well not really but you understand kinda what im

getting at?)

Chantelle

--

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life. There

are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know why.

Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of making us

better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people inside. We

may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always remember that

faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what we call him or

her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra special gift. ~ Me

[Guest guest]

Chantelle,

What is the great assignment you've been asked to do?

:-)

Re: Mind blanks??? Tim Hartshorn please read.

Thanks everyone (and i do mean all of you...) for your insight and comments

I will be discussing this with my councellor on monday and she isnt the

type to dismiss me. If something i think is odd is a normal thing, she tells

me, but if its odd or needs adressing, we do that too. I too am

leaning towards this being a dissosiation episode. At least the worst i know

of that ive done is eat a bag of popcorn. Oh yah and almost walk into a car

that was about to turn the corner near my apartment... ok so thats v.

bad...

anyways im off. Class was great. I like my teacher and I had to chuckle

seeing the assinment we have to do... i think this particular class was

made just for me (well not really but you understand kinda what im

getting at?)

Chantelle

--

" Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life. There

are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know why.

Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of making us

better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people inside. We

may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always remember that

faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what we call him or

her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra special gift. ~ Me

[Guest guest]

Well there are a couple but one is to submit some book reviews Being an

avid bookworm and a writer of short stories... this should be a good thing

Also another assinment choice is to put together a photoalbum (gotta be on

Flickr.net) on Hamilton - who would have guessed that was a project i was

working on all ready

Hmmm also the group assinment is better defined and the people in my group

expressed interest in my wanting to do something relating to the CNIB

OHHH and to top it off another assinment is to do a report on an art

gallery, but a small not so well known art gallary to present to the class.

Im gonna do the Mental Health (hamilton) art gallary

Gosh, there isnt an assinment I dont want to do.

Oh and the media file is the same as last simester's class (the one i

dropped). Luckly is a solo project so I have full control on the articals in

the newspaper that i write reviews on.

Gosh. I am happy bout this!

>

> Chantelle,

>

> What is the great assignment you've been asked to do?

>

> :-)

>

>

>

> --

> " Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. " - Lennon

>

> Faith, no matter what we believe in is an important motivator in life.

> There are reasons why something is the way it is, though we dont always know

> why. Problems are never a way to punish us, sometimes they are a way of

> making us better and stronger, more compasionate and knowlegable people

> inside. We may worry, we may feel down on the world but we must always

> remember that faith is what brings us together and that god, no matter what

> we call him or her has not punnished us, only trusted us with an extra

> special gift. ~ Me