Thinning The Herd 2007 - Darwin Awards

[Guest guest]

Ya know even if a few of these are bogus they are funny as hell and that

Number one takes the cake.

I am fairly sure I have transported some folks related to theses folks and I

KNOW I've worked with a few of them!

THINNING THE HERD " 2007

Eighth Place: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two

feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate

while trying to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker -- who often bragged

he was " totally-zoned when he ran " -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high

cliff on his daily workout.

Sixth Place: While at the beach, , 21, dug an 8-foot hole for

protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom

when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used

their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It

took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. was

pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Fifth Place: Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the

ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long

flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the

base

of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with

friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four cartridges into

his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place: After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the

front door, a man walked into H & J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the

store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at

the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a

hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a

clerk

promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene

investigators located 47 expende d cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent

autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from seven

different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION: Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just

driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out

the

window to create some excitement. Apparently they failed to notice the

window was closed.

RUNNER UP: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of

them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the

middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men

trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the

midpoint

of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of

lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and tied

the other to the bridge. His fall start 40 feet before the cable tightened and

tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the

icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never

located.

AND THE 2007 WINNER IS...

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his constipated

elephant 22 doses of a animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs

and prunes, before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing

elephant an olive oil enema when the beast suddenly unloaded. The sheer

force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the

ground

where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200

pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak

accidents that once again proves... " Shit happens! "

Louis N. Molino, Sr., CET

FF/NREMT-B/FSI/EMSI

Owner and President of LNM Emergency Services Consulting Services (LNMECS)

Freelance Consultant/Trainer/Author/Journalist/Fire Protection Consultant

LNMolino@...

(Cell Phone)

(IFW/TFW/FSS Office)

(IFW/TFW/FSS Fax)

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