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I really should not have been too surprised about this. I have had little

if any work since the docs did their job action. When they came back to

work it was for 1 day only and then many of them had a long weekend of 4

days due to the snow storms/blizzards. They were back one day and my doc

went to a convention in Fla on Ankles. She came back last Wed and has been

out with no voice until yesterday. I have had all of 4 minutes of dictation

in one month. I

I went into my folders and found the give and take between Jay and

and will now study that. I can't believe what is happening. Her practice

is small enough as it is. She lost yet another sec. last Friday.

I will do a lot of praying.

Aliceanne

At 06:31 PM 3/4/2003 -0500, Alice Sawyer wrote:

>I called her home and left the messages you guys gave me. She had said she

>would think about it when I left her at the office so I thought if I could

>get a head start with pros and cons I might have a chance. She does have a

>computer at home but what scares me is this new boyfriend of hers IS

>computer savy and electronically unchallenged. He will see her through

>it. She does not keep office staff so who knows if he will stay around.

>She mentioned he had an Olympus so I asked on her home machine what

>model. I will try to see what I am going to need here. I have never worked

>with wav pedals, I don't think. I did work for a short time for a national

>(DTS) but did not stay because I could not say when I was going to be able

>to work with mom's problems and I did have a pedal but I have no idea if

>that was a wav pedal. I am just as computer illiterate as she but she has a

>good side kick who can help her through it. I can't spend that much. I was

>hoping I could get by with express scribe or hypersend. I will just have

>to keep researching. I sure wish there was a cyberspace class on this stuff.

>Aliceanne

>

>

>

>

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If I used Hypersend, I would still have to pick up the dictation so this

would not solve the digital dictation. Is there such a thing as a digital

transcriber?

Aliceanne

At 06:50 PM 3/4/2003 -0500, Alice Sawyer wrote:

>I really should not have been too surprised about this. I have had little

>if any work since the docs did their job action. When they came back to

>work it was for 1 day only and then many of them had a long weekend of 4

>days due to the snow storms/blizzards. They were back one day and my doc

>went to a convention in Fla on Ankles. She came back last Wed and has been

>out with no voice until yesterday. I have had all of 4 minutes of dictation

>in one month. I

>I went into my folders and found the give and take between Jay and

>and will now study that. I can't believe what is happening. Her practice

>is small enough as it is. She lost yet another sec. last Friday.

>I will do a lot of praying.

>Aliceanne

>

>At 06:31 PM 3/4/2003 -0500, Alice Sawyer wrote:

> >I called her home and left the messages you guys gave me. She had said she

> >would think about it when I left her at the office so I thought if I could

> >get a head start with pros and cons I might have a chance. She does have a

> >computer at home but what scares me is this new boyfriend of hers IS

> >computer savy and electronically unchallenged. He will see her through

> >it. She does not keep office staff so who knows if he will stay around.

> >She mentioned he had an Olympus so I asked on her home machine what

> >model. I will try to see what I am going to need here. I have never worked

> >with wav pedals, I don't think. I did work for a short time for a national

> >(DTS) but did not stay because I could not say when I was going to be able

> >to work with mom's problems and I did have a pedal but I have no idea if

> >that was a wav pedal. I am just as computer illiterate as she but she has a

> >good side kick who can help her through it. I can't spend that much. I was

> >hoping I could get by with express scribe or hypersend. I will just have

> >to keep researching. I sure wish there was a cyberspace class on this

> stuff.

> >Aliceanne

> >

> >

> >

> >

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  • 8 years later...
Guest guest

Thanks to all my friends on here for their support about my nada's passing.

This has certainly been a roller coaster for me these last two years with her in

particular, but now that is past me and over of course.

The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada has left with

nothing in order financially so I have NO idea what accounts she has are still

valid and can be liquidated and what accounts she canceled. Nada didn't trust

ANYONE including me with any of that information and it's very difficult to get

a handle on all this.

I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the rest? Forget it.

I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten minutes earlier;

called the funeral director and after his monatone " I'm sorry for your loss " , he

had the GAUL to say to me " You had said she had Prudential Life Insurance,

correct? "

I replied, " yes " .

He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really wasn't thinking

about it to tell you the truth. "

He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first thing tomorrow

morning for it. Of course we'll take the body away. "

I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know what type of

relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is still my mother. What an ass!

If he weren't the least expensive funeral guy in the area, I would tell him

adios jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

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Yes, I think that is amazingly insensitive!

Hugs and . . . I don't want to say congratulations . . . but I'm relieved

for you that this is over. May she rest as peacefully as a BPD can.

XOXO

>

>

> Thanks to all my friends on here for their support about my nada's passing.

>

> This has certainly been a roller coaster for me these last two years with

> her in particular, but now that is past me and over of course.

>

> The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada has left with

> nothing in order financially so I have NO idea what accounts she has are

> still valid and can be liquidated and what accounts she canceled. Nada

> didn't trust ANYONE including me with any of that information and it's very

> difficult to get a handle on all this.

>

> I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the rest? Forget it.

>

> I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten minutes

> earlier; called the funeral director and after his monatone " I'm sorry for

> your loss " , he had the GAUL to say to me " You had said she had Prudential

> Life Insurance, correct? "

>

> I replied, " yes " .

>

> He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

>

> I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really wasn't

> thinking about it to tell you the truth. "

>

> He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first thing

> tomorrow morning for it. Of course we'll take the body away. "

>

> I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know what type of

> relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is still my mother. What an

> ass! If he weren't the least expensive funeral guy in the area, I would tell

> him adios jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

>

>

>

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Guest guest

That funeral director sure sounds insensitive to me. People who

can't show some compassion for those who are likely to be

grieving shouldn't be in that business. Even if he knew the

state of your relationship with your nada, there would still be

no call for being rude and demanding the number that way.

I hope you end up having less trouble straightening out your

nada's affairs than you think you will. My nada changed her will

several years ago to leave everything and all the responsibility

to my brother. She made sure I knew about it, presumably

thinking that she was punishing me. I sure won't miss having to

deal with it when the time comes.

At 07:15 AM 03/22/2011 Romantic Libra wrote:

>Thanks to all my friends on here for their support about my

>nada's passing.

>

>This has certainly been a roller coaster for me these last two

>years with her in particular, but now that is past me and over

>of course.

>

>The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada

>has left with nothing in order financially so I have NO idea

>what accounts she has are still valid and can be liquidated and

>what accounts she canceled. Nada didn't trust ANYONE including

>me with any of that information and it's very difficult to get

>a handle on all this.

>

>I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the

>rest? Forget it.

>

>I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten

>minutes earlier; called the funeral director and after his

>monatone " I'm sorry for your loss " , he had the GAUL to say to

>me " You had said she had Prudential Life Insurance, correct? "

>

>I replied, " yes " .

>

>He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

>

>I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really

>wasn't thinking about it to tell you the truth. "

>

>He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first

>thing tomorrow morning for it. Of course we'll take the body

>away. "

>

>I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know

>what type of relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is

>still my mother. What an ass! If he weren't the least

>expensive funeral guy in the area, I would tell him adios

>jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

--

Katrina

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Guest guest

Hugs for all of this... your little girl heart, you big girl brain...

While the guy does seem like a dolt, consider this... he may have to legally

HAVE a policy on record and accessible before he can legally take the body.

There are all sorts of laws governing the $ and responsiblity of bodies in this

country... while it seems crass and his timing stunk, it may be a necessary

evil.

For your own heart's sake, I'd cut him some slack and figure he's just doing the

job you're asking him to do... even if his job is offensive and the protocal is

icky... Don't choose this battle... let it slide.

Lynnette

>

> Thanks to all my friends on here for their support about my nada's passing.

>

> This has certainly been a roller coaster for me these last two years with her

in particular, but now that is past me and over of course.

>

> The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada has left with

nothing in order financially so I have NO idea what accounts she has are still

valid and can be liquidated and what accounts she canceled. Nada didn't trust

ANYONE including me with any of that information and it's very difficult to get

a handle on all this.

>

> I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the rest? Forget it.

>

> I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten minutes

earlier; called the funeral director and after his monatone " I'm sorry for your

loss " , he had the GAUL to say to me " You had said she had Prudential Life

Insurance, correct? "

>

> I replied, " yes " .

>

> He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

>

> I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really wasn't thinking

about it to tell you the truth. "

>

> He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first thing tomorrow

morning for it. Of course we'll take the body away. "

>

> I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know what type of

relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is still my mother. What an ass!

If he weren't the least expensive funeral guy in the area, I would tell him

adios jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

>

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No, no, the word I m going for is asshole.

Doug

> The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada has left

with nothing in order financially so I have NO idea what accounts she

has are still valid and can be liquidated and what accounts she

canceled. Nada didn't trust ANYONE including me with any of that

information and it's very difficult to get a handle on all this.

>

> I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the rest?

Forget it.

Pay absolutely NOTHING yet. Before you act on her behalf, you need to

go to probate office of the circuit clerk and apply to be named the

fiduciary of her estate. This gives you the legal right to sign her

name, disberse her money, ect. If anyone complains about a bill she

needs to pay, just quitely tell them she passed away, and they will have

to wait until the estate clears. If you get all this done and start to

pay people in a year, you ll have done well.

So again, pay no one anything yet.

Collect any mail which comes and keep it in a file folder. Do NOT go

out of your way to find people she owes. It is their responsiblity to

discover she died, and file claims to her estate. If there is not

enough money to pay everyone, there is a formula for determining who

gets what.

You must post a bond to act as fiduciary for her estate. If you don t

want to do so, you are free to just walk away from it and say have a

ball , world. You don t hvae to.

YOU are NOT responsible for paying ANY ANY ANY of her debts. As

fiduciary, you are only responsible for disbersing HER money to her

creditors.

Keep a log and keep track of all time you spend doing this. You get

paid for it, out of the estate. The number one and two creditors are

you and the IRS.

So, again, you cannot pay anyone until you see what taxes are. And if

you pay yourself say 10 an hour for your work managing the estate, when

it is gone, it is gone.

As for the AH funeral director, do NOTgive him the number of the policy.

Tell him you want to contact the insurance company yourself and not just

leave it to him. And tell him you want a detailed account of all

expenses before the funeral. They will try to soak you. You do not

need a 5000 dollar casket. It is just a box that is going to go in the

ground. You dont have to pay for multiple vehicles to take flowers to

the cemetary and rot on the grave. You can tell them to take just what

goes in with the hearse, and leave the rest.

You do not have to pay him for clothing for her, you can bring something

of hers. But don t just " leave everything to him. " He has not acted in

such a way as to earn that trust. Show me in detail before I agree to

spend it. And I will bring you the money after the funeral. Unless she

put the funeral home as the beneficiary, you do not let them get the

money first and then decide if you get any back.

Tell him you want to read the policy and call the company before you

finalize arrangements with him. Tell him , and this is true, you do NOT

have to pay for a funeral. You can state mom has no money or insurance,

and the county does a paupers funeral and burial. Not that you want to

do that, but don t let this SOB exploite you in your current state.

I went thru all this just 2 years ago, so I remember a lot of it. Let

me know if you need advice.

Doug

God, what an incredible prick!

>

> I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten minutes

earlier; called the funeral director and after his monatone " I'm sorry

for your loss " , he had the GAUL to say to me " You had said she had

Prudential Life Insurance, correct? "

>

> I replied, " yes " .

>

> He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

>

> I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really wasn't

thinking about it to tell you the truth. "

>

> He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first thing

tomorrow morning for it. Of course we'll take the body away. "

>

> I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know what type

of relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is still my mother.

What an ass! If he weren't the least expensive funeral guy in the area,

I would tell him adios jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

>

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Guest guest

Thank you for sharing this information, Doug. Most of us here will be going

through this situation sooner or later, so, its good to know this stuff.

Invaluable, actually. I am grateful that in earlier years my nada, with

Sister's help, already made all these arrangements ahead of time. My nada is

nothing if she is not hyper-organized down to the last dotted " i " and crossed

" t " .

-Annie

>

>

> No, no, the word I m going for is asshole.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

> > The only things confounding me are all the paper trails nada has left

> with nothing in order financially so I have NO idea what accounts she

> has are still valid and can be liquidated and what accounts she

> canceled. Nada didn't trust ANYONE including me with any of that

> information and it's very difficult to get a handle on all this.

> >

> > I have bills to pay for her which is the easy part but the rest?

> Forget it.

>

>

>

> Pay absolutely NOTHING yet. Before you act on her behalf, you need to

> go to probate office of the circuit clerk and apply to be named the

> fiduciary of her estate. This gives you the legal right to sign her

> name, disberse her money, ect. If anyone complains about a bill she

> needs to pay, just quitely tell them she passed away, and they will have

> to wait until the estate clears. If you get all this done and start to

> pay people in a year, you ll have done well.

>

> So again, pay no one anything yet.

>

> Collect any mail which comes and keep it in a file folder. Do NOT go

> out of your way to find people she owes. It is their responsiblity to

> discover she died, and file claims to her estate. If there is not

> enough money to pay everyone, there is a formula for determining who

> gets what.

>

> You must post a bond to act as fiduciary for her estate. If you don t

> want to do so, you are free to just walk away from it and say have a

> ball , world. You don t hvae to.

>

> YOU are NOT responsible for paying ANY ANY ANY of her debts. As

> fiduciary, you are only responsible for disbersing HER money to her

> creditors.

>

> Keep a log and keep track of all time you spend doing this. You get

> paid for it, out of the estate. The number one and two creditors are

> you and the IRS.

>

> So, again, you cannot pay anyone until you see what taxes are. And if

> you pay yourself say 10 an hour for your work managing the estate, when

> it is gone, it is gone.

>

> As for the AH funeral director, do NOTgive him the number of the policy.

> Tell him you want to contact the insurance company yourself and not just

> leave it to him. And tell him you want a detailed account of all

> expenses before the funeral. They will try to soak you. You do not

> need a 5000 dollar casket. It is just a box that is going to go in the

> ground. You dont have to pay for multiple vehicles to take flowers to

> the cemetary and rot on the grave. You can tell them to take just what

> goes in with the hearse, and leave the rest.

>

> You do not have to pay him for clothing for her, you can bring something

> of hers. But don t just " leave everything to him. " He has not acted in

> such a way as to earn that trust. Show me in detail before I agree to

> spend it. And I will bring you the money after the funeral. Unless she

> put the funeral home as the beneficiary, you do not let them get the

> money first and then decide if you get any back.

>

> Tell him you want to read the policy and call the company before you

> finalize arrangements with him. Tell him , and this is true, you do NOT

> have to pay for a funeral. You can state mom has no money or insurance,

> and the county does a paupers funeral and burial. Not that you want to

> do that, but don t let this SOB exploite you in your current state.

>

>

>

> I went thru all this just 2 years ago, so I remember a lot of it. Let

> me know if you need advice.

>

> Doug

>

> God, what an incredible prick!

>

>

> >

> > I can't believe that I had just found out that nada passed ten minutes

> earlier; called the funeral director and after his monatone " I'm sorry

> for your loss " , he had the GAUL to say to me " You had said she had

> Prudential Life Insurance, correct? "

> >

> > I replied, " yes " .

> >

> > He THEN said, " I want the policy # now. "

> >

> > I said, " I got home late last night from Jersey and I really wasn't

> thinking about it to tell you the truth. "

> >

> > He replied, " I'll give you a breather then and call you first thing

> tomorrow morning for it. Of course we'll take the body away. "

> >

> > I thought OMG! What an insensitive baboon! He doesn't know what type

> of relationship my nada and I had! Even though she is still my mother.

> What an ass! If he weren't the least expensive funeral guy in the area,

> I would tell him adios jerk. Any of you think he was being insensitive?

> >

>

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