rumbleings from Dale

[Guest guest]

Hi, won't be as long as usual (most are happy ;-), typing is still slow. A

week ago I had the best day that I have had since my ordeal started. It was

great, no brain fog and I wasn't stiff at all! I worked out and exercised

most of the day, the next day for my six hour P. T. I had some brain fog and

stiffness. This is gotten worse each day until this morning it took me 45

minutes just to be able to sit up and in bed and the brain fog was horrid.

I had wanted the doctor to set my pump a little higher and P.T. yesterday

but he said no because he thought to hire was maybe having a rebound effect.

I was just depressed this morning, I told my wife I am so sick of fighting

my body. When that happens it's so hard to not put a face on my a disease

PLS. You need to have something to focus on, to blame it is you against

the beast. I was so angry at the beast because it makes me so

self-centered, all I can think about is how can I survive? My wife has to

do just about everything for me. It seems like me me me and I hate it.

The good news is that it I got much better this afternoon so maybe the

doctor was right. But I also realized once again that yelling at PLS is the

like yelling at the thunder the way our ancestors did. It gives it too much

power it's just doing what it should, destroying my Upper motor neurons. It

just is. It's so hard to remember that when you hurt and are tired of

fighting. But now I'm back again looking forward to P. T. and hoping to

move forward again.

I will say to finish that the thing I think I hate the most, is how

self-centered your thinking gets the worse the disease gets. And I have

thought a lot about myself in the last two months. Hopefully I can think

outside myself more in the near future.

dale