The Real Red Neck Vaughn

[Guest guest]

A filthy rich man in Tennessee (there are one or two) decided that he

wanted to throw a party. He invited all of his buddies and

neighbors. He also invited Vaughn, the only redneck in the

neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp,

oysters and BBQ and flirting with the women, especially Vaughn.

At the height of the party, the host said, " I have a 10ft man-eating

gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has

the balls to jump in " .

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash

and everyone turned around and saw Vaughn in the pool!

Vaughn was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Vaughn was

jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head

butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the

gator through the air like some kind of Judo expert.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Vaughn and the

gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Vaughn strangled the

gator and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Vaughn

then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at

him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, " Well, Vaughn, I reckon I owe you a million

dollars. "

" No, that's okay. I don't want it, " said Vaughn.

The rich man said, " Man, I have to give you something. You won the

bet. How about half a million bucks then? "

" No thanks. I don't want it, " answered Vaughn.

The host said, " Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was

amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock

options? "

Again Vaughn said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, " Well, Vaughn, what do you want then? "

Vaughn said, " I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the

pool. "