3 weeks away and the emotions are kicking in

January 17, 2001

Last night while my husband and I were laying in bed we were talking about my

surgery. I told him that exactly 3 weeks from now, at about this time (10:00

pm) I would be laying in the hospital bed....feeling groggy, sore, and with

the surgery behind me. It suddenly hit me how soon this is coming up. A

surge of fear overcame me....and sadness. My husband said that he's scared

and wished it was all behind us.

He soon fell asleep and I tossed and turned for hours. I lay there sobbing

in the darkness. I was actually mourning the loss of my gallbladder and my

appendix! I think the book " Heal Faster After Surgery " got me thinking more

about my organs. The book suggests you mentally talk to your body parts that

are being operated on. Ask them how they feel, and let them know how you

feel. I felt bad because my gallbladder and appendix have been very good to

me. They've never given me any problems, and yet in 3 weeks they're going to

be ripped from my body. (Ok, you can stop giggling now.)

Am I a dork or what?!! This is all suddenly becoming a huge reality. I've

been through this once before (with my VBG) and I thought for sure this would

be easier. I know what to expect, I know what it's like emotionally and

physically....yet that obviously doesn't make it any easier. I get really

scared, but then I get really hopeful for the future. I get sad, but then I

get happy. I just wish I could wake up and be back home recovering in my own

bed with it all behind me.

Connie G. in IL - whining and feeling like a baby

VBG in 1997, BMI 65 and climbing <sigh>

Open BPD/DS w/ Dr. Maguire in OH on 2/6/01

Approved through BCBS of IL

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