Re: Parents/Grandparents of teenagers

[Guest guest]

To all parents and grandparents,

It is tough being a parent in today's world. It seems that the children

of today have an upper hand over the parents. Child abuse? Never heard

of such a thing when I was a kid.

Yes, I'm a father of three (34, 31, & 28) and they all tell me I was a

hard parent, as were my parents. Now that they are older, they have

thanked me in many ways. However, I was lucky in the fact that they

were raised around other military children and were taught in, most

cases, DOD schools. They were not exposed to today's influences. The

only thing that I recall is PIOR REPRESSURE, and that is probably still

one of the biggest problems today. They were not exposed to all the

cars (had to ride a school bus), to all the shopping malls as a hang out

place, drugs, etc.

Drugs? We really did not know of this when I was in school. I do not

remember ever being confronted with drugs until I left home and went to

college and entered the military in the early 1960s. The following site

maybe of information for all to consider and be aware of:

http://www.theantidrug.com/drug_info/

May this be of some help.

Norton

Re: teenagers/thurza

NO WAY do you have kids that age.........NO WAY!!! Thanks for sharing

your story. We will make it thru, I just gotta be strong!! I will also

use the advise from your wise old friend!! Thanks again, Jeanne Ann

Neff

teenagers

Ann,

13 is about the toughest age to have to deal with a daughter under

normal circumstances. With you with PLS, that complicates matters,

since much of her anger is fear about you and your future. . . but

she probably can't verbalize that or even admit it. Consider talking

frankly with her sometime when issues aren't volatile about your own

fears.

My kids are 41, 39 and 36 now; girl in the middle. I survived teen

years! She is now a wonderful mother and tremendously supportive of

both me and Jim. She now has 2 daughters 12 and 14. Guess what? There

is justice in the world!! When she complains about early adolescent

behavior which drives her crazy, I smile, then she'll say, " yes Mom,

I know I deserve it. "

Many times I said to my teenage kids, " I love you but I don't like

you. "

I learned from a wise friend with older children than mine to never

ask your teen a question that for them to give the answer they know

you want to hear, they lie. That's probably the best advice I was

ever given. Think creatively and you can usually get answers you need

with careful wording of questions.

I hope your school system and/or church can help with good

counseling. Relations may remain tough for several more years.

Just be sure she has all of the information she needs to prevent long

term negative consequences from sex and drugs and alcohol. I always

told them I would be there for them.

Thurza

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[Guest guest]

GEO,

It's funny but you spend 20-30 years raising them then they spend the

next 20- 30 years watching out after you like a parent telling you when

to eat what foods to eat (pseudo parenting ) .got 2 /34-35 the 34 year

old still needs to get a life.

Geo, you could not have hit the nail on the head any squarer than that!!

Now with PLS, they really want to mother hen me, plus my wife. WOW,

never a break. Yes, I too, have two that are not married and need to

get a life. My 31 yr old is fine, married and has a wonderful wife that

has given us to fabulous grandsons (2, 5 years old).

When I was a child, Mom would come after me with a wooden yard stick and

as I got older she would hit me harder with it and the stick would

break. Stupid me, I'd laugh at her when this happened and then she

started sending me out to get a limb off the willow tree (the smallest I

could find of course). If not of her satisfaction, it became Dads turn.

In the bathroom we'd go, close the door, bend me over the bathtub on

legs, one hit, and my nose began to bleed (never failed). Mom would

come in screaming, " STOP, STOP, YOU'RE KILLING HIM " .

I became Dad, but rather than using my hand in anger (for fear of

braking something), I used the military GI cloth belt. Mean Dad! This

is what I meant about child abuse.

Have a great day and wonderful weekend.

Norton

Re: Parents/Grandparents of teenagers

I agree 1000%, iwas a father to my kids not a buddy ive always said im

a

father first then a buddy cant be popular all the time and do the right

thing .My brother thaught you have to be there friend all the time he

did

all the stupid things with them Pot or whatever they wanted and now they

have no respect for him .At times you think it's hard but in the end

you

are laying the foundation for a strong building you hope . It's funny

but

you spend 20-30 years raising them then they spend the next 20- 30 years

watching out after you like a parent telling you when to eat what foods

to

eat (pseudo parenting ) .got 2 /34-35 the 34 year old still needs to get

a

life. GEO

teenagers

>

>

> Ann,

> 13 is about the toughest age to have to deal with a daughter under

> normal circumstances. With you with PLS, that complicates matters,

> since much of her anger is fear about you and your future. . . but

> she probably can't verbalize that or even admit it. Consider talking

> frankly with her sometime when issues aren't volatile about your own

> fears.

>

> My kids are 41, 39 and 36 now; girl in the middle. I survived teen

> years! She is now a wonderful mother and tremendously supportive of

> both me and Jim. She now has 2 daughters 12 and 14. Guess what?

There

> is justice in the world!! When she complains about early adolescent

> behavior which drives her crazy, I smile, then she'll say, " yes

Mom,

> I know I deserve it. "

>

> Many times I said to my teenage kids, " I love you but I don't like

> you. "

>

> I learned from a wise friend with older children than mine to never

> ask your teen a question that for them to give the answer they know

> you want to hear, they lie. That's probably the best advice I was

> ever given. Think creatively and you can usually get answers you

need

> with careful wording of questions.

>

> I hope your school system and/or church can help with good

> counseling. Relations may remain tough for several more years.

>

> Just be sure she has all of the information she needs to prevent

long

> term negative consequences from sex and drugs and alcohol. I always

> told them I would be there for them.

>

> Thurza

>

>

>

>

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> ------

>

[Guest guest]

I agree 1000%, iwas a father to my kids not a buddy ive always said im a

father first then a buddy cant be popular all the time and do the right

thing .My brother thaught you have to be there friend all the time he did

all the stupid things with them Pot or whatever they wanted and now they

have no respect for him .At times you think it's hard but in the end you

are laying the foundation for a strong building you hope . It's funny but

you spend 20-30 years raising them then they spend the next 20- 30 years

watching out after you like a parent telling you when to eat what foods to

eat (pseudo parenting ) .got 2 /34-35 the 34 year old still needs to get a

life. GEO

teenagers

>

>

> Ann,

> 13 is about the toughest age to have to deal with a daughter under

> normal circumstances. With you with PLS, that complicates matters,

> since much of her anger is fear about you and your future. . . but

> she probably can't verbalize that or even admit it. Consider talking

> frankly with her sometime when issues aren't volatile about your own

> fears.

>

> My kids are 41, 39 and 36 now; girl in the middle. I survived teen

> years! She is now a wonderful mother and tremendously supportive of

> both me and Jim. She now has 2 daughters 12 and 14. Guess what? There

> is justice in the world!! When she complains about early adolescent

> behavior which drives her crazy, I smile, then she'll say, " yes Mom,

> I know I deserve it. "

>

> Many times I said to my teenage kids, " I love you but I don't like

> you. "

>

> I learned from a wise friend with older children than mine to never

> ask your teen a question that for them to give the answer they know

> you want to hear, they lie. That's probably the best advice I was

> ever given. Think creatively and you can usually get answers you need

> with careful wording of questions.

>

> I hope your school system and/or church can help with good

> counseling. Relations may remain tough for several more years.

>

> Just be sure she has all of the information she needs to prevent long

> term negative consequences from sex and drugs and alcohol. I always

> told them I would be there for them.

>

> Thurza

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> ------

>

[Guest guest]

LOL my brother and i had MOM fouled we put cardboard in our pants but

dad was'nt fouled get the britches off .GEO teenagers

> >

> >

> > Ann,

> > 13 is about the toughest age to have to deal with a daughter under

> > normal circumstances. With you with PLS, that complicates matters,

> > since much of her anger is fear about you and your future. . . but

> > she probably can't verbalize that or even admit it. Consider talking

> > frankly with her sometime when issues aren't volatile about your own

> > fears.

> >

> > My kids are 41, 39 and 36 now; girl in the middle. I survived teen

> > years! She is now a wonderful mother and tremendously supportive of

> > both me and Jim. She now has 2 daughters 12 and 14. Guess what?

> There

> > is justice in the world!! When she complains about early adolescent

> > behavior which drives her crazy, I smile, then she'll say, " yes

> Mom,

> > I know I deserve it. "

> >

> > Many times I said to my teenage kids, " I love you but I don't like

> > you. "

> >

> > I learned from a wise friend with older children than mine to never

> > ask your teen a question that for them to give the answer they know

> > you want to hear, they lie. That's probably the best advice I was

> > ever given. Think creatively and you can usually get answers you

> need

> > with careful wording of questions.

> >

> > I hope your school system and/or church can help with good

> > counseling. Relations may remain tough for several more years.

> >

> > Just be sure she has all of the information she needs to prevent

> long

> > term negative consequences from sex and drugs and alcohol. I always

> > told them I would be there for them.

> >

> > Thurza

> >

> >

> >

> >

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> > ------

> >