2 year wall

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone -

Don't post too much but today seems like a good day to write. It is snowing

like crazy outside. The kids are home from school. We are expecting between

12-15 inches today. Yuck. I should be cleaning but don't feel like it. Will

get up and start something soon. My kids are bugging me to get on the computer

anyway.

Well, about this two year wall. I have hit it head on and sometimes feel that I

crashed into it and can't recover. The worst part is I know what I am doing

wrong and can't correct it. I know I need to exercise and I know what I should

be eating. I really do try (sometimes). I feel like something takes over me

and I just give up.

I enjoyed the letter from Lou yesterday and have printed it and put on my

refrigerator. It is so true what she wrote. My husband is having this surgery

at the end of this month and I had him read her post also. He knows the

struggles I have and I hope that he doesn't have them too. Actually, what I am

hoping for is after his surgery that we become exercise buddies. He hates

exercise now - won't walk at all - but I am hoping that after the surgery when

he starts to lose weight and feel better, he will want to walk.

I have sent an order for protein samples from and I am hoping that when

I receive them and I find one that I like, it will get me on track again. I

have to keep telling myself - " what do I hate most - exercising in the cold or

not fitting into my clothes again " . It shouldn't even be a question. I don't

understand my thinking sometimes. My whole life, all I ever wanted was to be

thin. I finally have the tool and I could blow it. Where is the logic here.

Maybe it is because I never got near my goal weight. I was about 25 lbs away -

now I am 37 lbs. away and it could get worse.

Sorry this is soooo long. I just needed to write. Thanks for listening.

4/5/99 - VBG w/gastric bypass and gallbladder removal (combination surgery of

VBG and RNY)

326/199 1/2 (for one day)/ 212/175

Dr. Capella/Hackensack Hospital